Battleship: Spoilers, Discuss, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

Discussion in 'Science Fiction & Fantasy' started by Trekker4747, May 19, 2012.

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Grade the movie:

  1. A+

    1 vote(s)
    4.3%
  2. A

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. A-

    2 vote(s)
    8.7%
  4. B+

    5 vote(s)
    21.7%
  5. B

    4 vote(s)
    17.4%
  6. B-

    2 vote(s)
    8.7%
  7. C+

    1 vote(s)
    4.3%
  8. C

    5 vote(s)
    21.7%
  9. C-

    1 vote(s)
    4.3%
  10. D+

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  11. D

    2 vote(s)
    8.7%
  12. D-

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  13. FAIL!!!!!

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. DarKush

    DarKush Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    I give this film a C. There were a lot of cliches and the gazillion explosions eventually made me numb.

    The cinematography was good, there was a lot of action, but after a while it just got to be too much. The cast was likeable enough, but the dialogue was bad, and the plot was basically Battle: LA. However, Battle: LA had an intensity that Battleship didn't have.

    I didn't like the alien invaders. In their battle suits they were fine, but once unmasked, very unimpressive. I did like the four finger hands though.
     
  2. Gatekeeper

    Gatekeeper Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Location:
    United States of America
    I normally dig summer-type movies with big explosions and little sense — popcorn and soda helps with that — but "Battleship" simply ended up being too much for me, especially toward the end.

    The entire scene that was a homage to the board game Battleship to me was stupid. And the part where the heroes managed to get a World War II-era battleship powered up for combat with maybe 1 percent of the crew it'd actually need to do that (not to mention the 1 percent's age) took me right out of whatever suspension of disbelief I was clinging to.

    Gatekeeper
     
  3. DarKush

    DarKush Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    I didn't even see that part about the battleship getting powered up. I think the movie pummeled me into unconsciousness for periods at at time.
     
  4. Base_Delta_Zero

    Base_Delta_Zero Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 4, 2004
    Location:
    Maine
    The Missouri was active during the first Gulf War and it is not so unbelievable that the ship is capable of building up steam for a maintenance run (described as such in the film). They couldn't do a lot of fancy maneuvers (due to equipment/crew deficiencies) and had to get within spitting distance to have any chance of actually hitting the enemy vessel. Though it looked like most of the gun crew was focused at the fire director station, which could have coordinated and automatically fired all the guns together, which was good. What is unlikely is that live rounds and powder charges were stored aboard, but whatever. The vets were also more likely mostly from the Korean War or reactivation service during the 80s, early 90s, with maybe a smattering of WWII codgers. Plus they had the survivors from the Japanese destroyer and the John Paul Jones, so probably around 300 sailors, which would be sufficient for limited ship operations for a very brief period.

    Earlier mention of Guided Missile Destroyers not using their missiles during the initial engagement seems to have missed that their radar was down. There was no way to effectively guide the missiles until they whipped out the water density wave buoy thing, which wouldn't have worked if comms and radar are out...again, how do you guide the missiles if you can't relay target coordinates to them or have them track on their own? According to the movie, only more primitive radio frequencies and super-science suitcase boosted comms work.

    Speaking of communications. When the alien communication ship broke up and went down, it didn't look like it was being deliberately aimed at anything. It just hit skyscrapers and a portside business area during business hours. They mention 25,000 casualties in Hong Kong, which were potential numbers for 9/11 had the buildings immediately collapsed, instead of allowing for evacuation.

    I quite enjoyed the film. Yeah, it was dumb in parts, but I had fun. Watching Mighty Mo' pound the ever-loving crap out of the alien command ship was awesome. And the stuff with Sun Tzu and the nerdy scientist were funny, as were the mumbled comments of the main character. I do wish they had allowed for more of the international ships to do something, though it was cool to see Japanese warships work with American ships against a common enemy for all of five minutes before exploding.

    It's a shame it's doing poorly domestically, cause Transformers 3 was so fucking stupid and boring and incomprehensible, yet it made a bajillion dollars. At least I knew what was happening in this one from scene to scene.

    (I did have a headscratcher over why that one alien let the scientist walk away with the suitcase comm gear after they had apparently executed the student interns. Maybe in the novelization that alien will be one of the crewmen who doesn't want to invade and crush Earth and just wants to go home. Little does he know, the next day Mighty Mo is going to flatten him because of this act of kindness.)
     
  5. Psion

    Psion Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2001
    Location:
    Lat: 40.1630936 Lon: -75.1183777
    B.

    Don't try to bring the real world into this movie (or any action film, for that matter), because it quickly falls apart. But as an effort to bring the Harboro game to the big screen, it succeeds with spectacle and unmitigated gall.

    I admire gall.

    Some fun facts: Gliese 581 is twenty light-years from Earth. It is a red-dwarf, and Gliese 581g (Planet G) was discovered in 2010, not 2005. Even so, if Battleship took place in 2012, the aliens responded to a signal thirteen years before the signal could have reached Planet G.

    The aliens built with matter not even on the periodic table of elements, except for lawrencium. All the isotopes for lawrencium are extremely unstable and most have a half-life measured in minutes.

    According to Men's Health Magazine, the chicken burrito (or at least Chipotle Grille's version of it), is number 16 on their list of the 20 worst foods in America.
     
  6. God Magnus

    God Magnus Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2001
    Location:
    A world where criminals operate above the law...
    It was a fun popcorn flick in my book. I dug the use of the "pegs" in the movie and the way they worked the board game dynamic into the actual plot. It takes a bit too long to ramp up IMO but once it does it's fun.
     
  7. Gojira

    Gojira Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Location:
    Stompin' on Tokyo
    I just checked the box office results for this movie. It is sinking fast domestically. It has made only $57,543,805! I have not seen it yet. I hate going to theaters I always wait for the dvd (with some exceptions). I know I will like this movie but I am surprised it is doing this poorly.
     
  8. Star Wolf

    Star Wolf Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2003
    Location:
    ciudad de Los Angeles
    I think it got devoured by repeat viewings of The Avengers, in hindsight with the scheduling hole left open by GI Joe and up against Prometheus with its horror instead of feel good base a later opening may have gotten it over.
     
  9. Gojira

    Gojira Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Location:
    Stompin' on Tokyo
    Yeah, Battleship did have some tough competition this summer. I am sad to see it not doing well but on the other hand it may mean a quicker release on DVD.
     

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