April 2013 challenge - Obsessions and Addictions

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by jespah, Apr 2, 2013.

  1. Count Zero

    Count Zero Watching Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Location:
    European Union
    Well, congratulations, Cobalt Frost! :) You may choose the theme for next month's contest. Don't forget to post your story in the winning entries thread.
     
  2. Cobalt Frost

    Cobalt Frost Captain Captain

    For some reason, I thought the contest ran until the 31st. But I'll take it :D ! I hope y'all enjoyed my entry; I'll have the June challenge topic up presently.
     
  3. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
    :)

    Yay and congrats!!
     
  4. Sandoval

    Sandoval Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Congratulations!


    SCIENTIST: Well, Homer, I guess you're the winner by default.

    HOMER: Default? Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language: De-fault! De-fault! De-fault!
     
  5. HaventGotALife

    HaventGotALife Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    Congratulations!

    Well, I couldn't get the rest of the story out. I wanted to put Sisko in danger of losing Jake and dealing with the repercussions from that. The story was that Jake was taken hostage by one of the colonists on Solosos III, since it's stated that no evacuation had taken place before Sisko made the planet uninhabitable for humans (For the Uniform). Sisko is accountable for killing the man's wife by launching the torpedoes at the planet. Consequences for that decision. To be honest, I want consequences for him to just go back to being hero the next week. The story is that the man had farmed the land for 50 years as a part of a colony separate from the Maquis and wasn't even involved in the politics. This story takes place during the 5th season of DS9 (before Blaze of Glory). He sees his wife every night when he sleeps and it drives him insane with anger.

    This is supposed to mirror Ben's struggle with Jennifer's death as well. I had some flashbacks planned to see when Jake was born and and when Ben was assigned to the Saratoga and asks Jennifer to come along. This would've been the tug-at-your-heartstrings over the fact that Ben feels, in losing Jake, he has lost all of what's left of Jennifer. That his decisions in the uniform--to take the posting on the Saratoga, launching the torpedoes at Solosos III--had taken what was left of his family. He confesses, and this is the razor's edge, that he knew he could and wanted to kill this man for taking Jake, something he could never do the borg, but there's some transference there. He could've, but Jake stops him, as Ben had successfully rescued him. Instead he takes him into custody as the man is a Federation citizen.

    But my eyes outpaced my stomach on this story. I couldn't get it right.
     
  6. Sandoval

    Sandoval Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Thus rendering the rest of your post completely irrelevant since you didn't...

    "Sorry sir, but this is what I WOULD HAVE written if I'd turned up to the final exam."
     
  7. HaventGotALife

    HaventGotALife Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2011
    I'm sorry. I'm still new, is that a problem? I have no intention of writing the story now.
     
  8. Count Zero

    Count Zero Watching Moderator

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    Mar 19, 2005
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    No, it's not a problem.
     
  9. Angry Fanboy

    Angry Fanboy Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Angry Fanboy

    I wonder if you couldn't rework your story idea to fit with this month's challenge? Perhaps work some sort of "blaze of glory" style ending where a character must sacrifice themselves? :)
     
  10. Sandoval

    Sandoval Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Seven days. Prompt moderating there...
     
  11. Count Zero

    Count Zero Watching Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Location:
    European Union
    Surprisingly, I do have a life apart from this board.

    If you have issues with the way the forum is moderated take it to PM.