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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Deep Space Nine

Deep Space Nine What We Left Behind, we will always have here.

View Poll Results: Who will be Miss Bajor?
Miss First Minister, Shakaar Edon 0 0%
Miss Vedek Assembly, Bareil Antos 5 35.71%
Miss Alliance for Global Unity, Jaro Essa 4 28.57%
Miss Hutet, Li Nalas 8 57.14%
Miss Relliketh, Anjohl Tennan 5 35.71%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

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Old December 4 2009, 08:27 AM   #1
PSGarak
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The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Greetings, pageant viewers! We of the pageant committee have been slaving away, and we do mean slaving, trying to get this next pageant broadcast to you in a timely fashion, but having a beauty contest on Bajor has proven to be...problematic. Among the Vedek Assembly, the Bajoran Provisional Government, and some wacky group calling themselves the Alliance for Global Unity, we had our hands full bribing (Placating!)...er, yes, placating everyone so that we could get this off the ground. On the positive side, you can view this pageant with a good conscience, knowing that our efforts have provided warm blankets and nourishing food for thousands of brats (War orphans, you jerk!)...of course, I meant war orphans. Let's meet our stunning contestants.

1.) First out of the gate is she of the flowing locks and feisty temper, Miss First Minister, Shakaar Edon! This isn't Shakaar's first dog and pony show when it comes to competition and fighting for what she wants. She led a premier resistance cell during the long Cardassian Occupation, and she is still fighting to make Bajor a better place for Bajorans to this day!



2.) Our second contestant comes straight to us from the Vedek Assembly. Once they found out the Provisional Government was sending a contestant, they positively insisted! Please welcome a raven haired beauty who while soft spoken knows how to get the job done right, Miss Vedek Assembly, Bareil Antos!



3.) As part of our arrangement with the various Bajoran factions, we were forced to allow the head of the Alliance for Global Unity to make an entry, even though the government assured us they do not recognize them as an official authority. There were...threats. We'll leave it at that. Silver fox and all around weasel-- (What are you doing?! Let me do this! Here's the lovely, august, and understated Miss Alliance for Global Unity, Jaro Essa!)



4.) No line up of Bajorans of note would be complete without the most beloved of all, the heroine of the Bajoran Resistance, Miss Hutet, Li Nalas! We particularly salute Li for her obvious enthusiasm for being here and, best of all, her Purple Hat! (Just don't tell her it's manly.)



5.) Our last contestant was a late comer to the line up. She barely squeaked by our registration deadline. We're honestly not sure who she is, and we have a sneaking suspicion that we've seen her somewhere before. We just don't know where. Kai Winn vouched for her, so that has to be good enough for us. Please welcome Miss Relliketh, Anjohl Tennan!



Catapault one of these lovely ladies into the "Miss" Universe Pageant with your enthusiastic votes. The pageant just wouldn't be complete without Bajor represented. They made us say that. You may vote for two of your favorites.
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Old December 4 2009, 08:33 AM   #2
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

You know the most horrifying thing? Miss Relliketh has the most "natural"-looking Photoshop work! But then again, this one spent a LOOOOOOONG time with that. Probably had help from Miss Lakat, don't you think?

Thankfully Miss Hutet lets me get out of voting for her, because of the way she wears that hat. VERY well-done!

BTW...did you mean for the poll to allow for multiple votes? Miss Relliketh, that is NOT fair! Just because your favorite candidate on Cardassia lost does NOT mean you get to rig the game here on Bajor...
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Old December 4 2009, 08:35 AM   #3
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

You can vote for two. I wound up making the poll multi vote, so why not? hehe We'll still get a clean winner...somehow!
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Old December 4 2009, 08:37 AM   #4
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Uh-oh...watch out. Miss Relliketh's schemes could undo this thing yet...
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Old December 4 2009, 01:09 PM   #5
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

This is the best so far.

Miss Lakat, sorry, Relliketh is getting quite desperate now, isn't she? She just can't accept losing with grace.

Miss Hutet is the best though, despite her femininity being under threat from her purple hat. Butch, no?
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Old December 4 2009, 01:14 PM   #6
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

^ Shhhh! We don't want her to know how manly that hat is! (If you had seen it before I got my hands on it...ugh. It was the most hideous hat ever. It had a knit brim. Bleh! And it covers up Li's puffy hair nicely. Don't tell her she had puffy hair. She'd scream.)
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Old December 5 2009, 10:36 AM   #7
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Miss Hutet is hanging onto her lead by one manicured nail, with Miss Vedek Assembly and our mysterious Miss Relliketh hot on her patent leather heels. Miss First Minister is now questioning the wisdom of the "messy part" in light of her better coiffed sisters' popularity. Miss Alliance for Global Unity has modestly said she will settle for the Miss Congeniality award, but there's an awfully calculating gleam in her dark eyes. I wouldn't count her out just yet.

We're just two more pageants away from the competition to end all competitions, the pageant to end all pageants-- (Why, because all the mirrors will shatter?) Ahem. The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant is coming soon to a view screen near you. May the Prophets have mercy on our paghs.
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Old December 5 2009, 05:19 PM   #8
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

It's back!!!

The contestants are all a lot better than the previous rounds... if that's a compliment.

Miss Hutet, and Miss Alliance for Global Unity get my vote.

How did Miss Relliketh get past the commitee .
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Old December 6 2009, 05:37 AM   #9
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Mince Pyes330 wrote: View Post
How did Miss Relliketh get past the commitee .
It's that Kai Winn. She's scary influential!!
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Old December 6 2009, 03:12 PM   #10
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Oh, poor Miss First Minister! Maybe she should stick to her political career after all.

Yule Be Sorry wrote: View Post
Mince Pyes330 wrote: View Post
How did Miss Relliketh get past the commitee .
It's that Kai Winn. She's scary influential!!
She's also on the committee, isn't it? I notice that she's already voted!

I agree with those who have noted that this is so far the best pageant! It's very difficult to choose between all those lovely, handsome ladies!

However... I believe that this Pageant is not just about physical beauty, talents or feminine charms - qualities that these ladies certainly don't lack. We in the Pageant committee have an obligation to the public to uphold certain moral values, and our contestants should be persons of impeccable reputation and character, who could be good role models for young and not-so-young women everywhere. And - much as it pains me to say that - I am afraid that some of our contestants don't exactly meet those requirements.

In fact, I would call into question Miss Relliketh's very participation in this contest - and I am not referring to her late entry. First of all, there have been rumours that she has had extensive cosmetic surgery, which should in itself be enough to disqualify her. I know that we have already made an exception in a similar case in one of our earlier Pageants, but that time the lady in question had come forward and admitted to it. Furthermore, there have been other disturbing rumours about Miss Relliketh and her...let's say, shady past - of course, I know that we should not believe hearsay, but her own reluctance to provide information about herself is not helping. And finally... regarding the endorsement by Kai Winn... there have also been some rumours about *ahem* Miss Relliketh's relationship with the Kai - now, please don't misunderstand me, people's private lives are their own business, but it does make you wonder about the way Miss Relliketh managed to get herself into the contest. And I ask you: is she an appropriate role model, and is that the message we want to be sending to young and not-so-young women on Bajor and everywhere? I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I would not want the reputation of this Pageant to be tainted by as much as a semblance of nepotism and impropriety...

...Wait, I have a comm link call I need to answer...


-----------------

... Um, I have just received assurances that all those were just vicious rumours, and I am deeply sorry for everything I have said. Please note that I have never intended any insult to the Kai, nor did I intend to question her wisdom and judgment, or her unselfishness and moral integrity. I offer my deepest apologies.


Anyway, I am afraid that there is another contestant who is somewhat questionable from the moral standpoint - I am referring to Miss Alliance for Global Unity. Let's just say that threatening the committee is not the most ethical way of...

.. Wait, what is that? AAHHHH









--------------------------



(please stop. I'll be good. )

... Sorry for that. Um... Please let me retract my previous statement. Miss Alliance for Global Unity is one of the most moral, honest and patriotic people Bajor has had - if she has to use a few... threats, oh well, a true patriot has to be ready to do everything for Bajor! Therefore I cast my vote for Jaro Essa, a real Bajoran hero, just like my other pick, Miss Hutet - who, as I have been informed, intends to concede her crown, if she wins, to Miss Alliance for Global Unity...
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Last edited by DevilEyes; December 6 2009 at 04:17 PM.
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Old December 6 2009, 04:14 PM   #11
Deranged Nasat
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

^

I love you, ElfEars, and I love Yule be Sorry for originating these contests. You guys always cheer me up!
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Old December 7 2009, 01:29 AM   #12
PSGarak
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

^^ See?! I told you it's difficult dealing with these Bajorans! (You'd better shut it with the "difficult" talk. *sotto voice* Unless you want to be taken back to that room again.)
Pleasant! They're so...amazingly...pleasant! *through gritted teeth*

And always glad to cheer you up saNta and greeD!
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Old December 9 2009, 11:46 AM   #13
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Re: The Epic DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant--Bajor!

Surprisingly, all but one of our lovely Bajoran ladies made a nice showing for themselves, but it was the 60's inspired style (that would be 1960's) and unbridled enthusiasm of Miss Hutet, Li Nalas, that won her by a cozy margin the coveted title of Miss Bajor! Put your hands together for our stylish winner, and know that you'll see her again...soon!
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