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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies XI+

Star Trek Movies XI+ Discuss J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek here.

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Old October 9 2010, 06:36 PM   #1
Rat Boy
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Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures

This doesn't look like the Narada's cargo bay, it looks more like a new caption contest. Let's flush out...



I guess he can't do zat...

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


SPOCK: Did they not teach you how to count to six in Russia, Mr Chekov?
Methinks Scotty would have preferred pulling a couple of chips out of a transwarp computer drive...

Woulfe wrote: View Post


Scotty ( thinking ) The more they over think the plumbing the easier it is to stop up the drain.....
And I apologize to our next winner for inflicting the horrors of The Room upon him...

M'Sharak wrote: View Post
Rat Boy wrote: View Post

And a special award for invoking The Room. Warning, don't watch it alone. In fact, you may not want to watch it at all. Try imagining your reaction to "Spock's Brain" or "Shades of Gray" and multiply it by fifty...
I looked up the scene containing the "did NAAAT. Oh hi" line, and that was quite enough. I can live without seeing any more than that.




"Are you sure you can't just hold it until we get back, Spock? I don't see a men's room sign anywhere!"
Congratulations to the winners. First up in this episode...uh oh, it's that psycho British dad from Mad Men! Next, Pike sticks Kirk with a huge bar tab. And finally, it's Starfleet debate club. Have at and see you again in three weeks:





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Old October 9 2010, 06:38 PM   #2
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



S'racist: "According to this, you're disobeying your father's wishes and dating a black woman."

*grabs cane*



Pike: "How did you get a felony record, anyway?"

Kirk: "I tried stealing the source code to Facebook."



Barnett: "In academic parlance, it's called cheating. What do you think this is, USC?"
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Old October 9 2010, 08:01 PM   #3
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



S'RACIST: Showing physical attraction to a black human female?

You are EXPELLED from this program, young man.


SPOCK: Kiss my ass, Minister. If loving her is wrong...I don't want to be right.



PIKE: I admired your father.

KIRK: Yeah, well...according to my mom, so did half the nurses on the Kelvin. Vertically AND horizontally.



ADMIRAL BARNETT: Rusty the Bailiff will have you sign and retina-confirm a few documents on the way out.
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Old October 10 2010, 12:22 AM   #4
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



"Yes, I'm afraid our decision is final...and stop calling me 'Brother Cadfael'!"




Bartender: "Geez, will you guys get a room already? It's past closing time!"




Kirk: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether I broke a few rules or took a few liberties with my female fellow cadets. I did! But you can't judge a cadet's entire scholastic record on just a few sick, perverted actions. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole Starfleet Academy system that inspired those actions? And if the whole Academy system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our Starfleet military institutions in general? I put it to you, Spock, isn't this an indictment of our entire United Federation of Planets? Well, you can do what you want to me, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United Federation of Planets!"
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Old October 10 2010, 03:38 AM   #5
WendyNotsid
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures

Rat Boy, I was wondering, do you ever feel conflicted when you do these contests? I mean, half the time you come up with the best captions, but it's got to be hard to be fair, right?
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Old October 10 2010, 04:15 AM   #6
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures


The foul smell that followed S'rasist's mid-lecture grimace and awkward silence informed that class that he had been struggling with a primitive urge...and had failed.


Pine: I appreciate your meeting me like this. (sigh) It's so hard to meet people in Starfleet.
Kirk: (gulp) I didn't, uh- -- look, man, when you said you'd buy me a drink I didn't know you wanted to BUY ME A DRINK. I figured you just wanted to shoot the breeze about my dad.


Spock: Do you deny that you arranged to take the Kobayashi Maru test not once, but three times, the latter under the assumed and fabricated identies of "T.J. Hooker" and "Denny Crane"?
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"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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Old October 10 2010, 05:06 AM   #7
Nerys Myk
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures


S'RACIST (speaking deliberately slow): And for you Spock, a "Participant Award". You've done quite well.
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Old October 10 2010, 05:59 AM   #8
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures

WendyNotsid wrote: View Post
Rat Boy, I was wondering, do you ever feel conflicted when you do these contests? I mean, half the time you come up with the best captions, but it's got to be hard to be fair, right?
Once you tell yourself you can't win, the rest is easy.



S'racist: "No, seriously, I found a giant transforming robot in the Arctic. Stop looking at me like that."
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Old October 10 2010, 03:48 PM   #9
Yeoman Randi
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures




As mayor of the Munchkin City
In the county of the land of Oz
I welcome you most regally!
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Old October 10 2010, 06:21 PM   #10
WendyNotsid
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures


S'Racist: Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel, Boy?



Kirk: Look! I'm a bull at a watering hole!


Admiral: We demand to know your name, quest, and favorite color.
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Old October 10 2010, 07:10 PM   #11
M'Sharak
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



"So that's a Little New Yorker with extra pickles, the potato salad and an egg cream. Anythin' else for ya today, hon'?"
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Last edited by M'Sharak; October 10 2010 at 09:31 PM. Reason: typo
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Old October 10 2010, 09:25 PM   #12
Gil T.Azell
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures


S'RACIST: "Why did you put this image of Oprah on my pad?"

Young Spock:
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Old October 11 2010, 12:27 AM   #13
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures


Well, that's not what is says here on my iPad …


Cut, cut! Stop taking the piss guys, we don't have all day.
The makers of "Top Gun 2: Reach for the Bourbon", need their set back!


Admiral: The Enforcers are all in place? Good, good … Then I call this Terrain Empire Academy disciplinary hearing to order … I see you finally managed to shave this morning Spock.
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Old October 11 2010, 12:53 AM   #14
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



Spock: ...and, as long as we are here anyway, allow me to state for the record that Cadet Kirk's
brother Johnny is a punk, as well.
Kirk: (monotone) Sam...
Spock: Nice try, but no - only you call him Sam.
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Old October 11 2010, 04:28 AM   #15
Nerys Myk
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Re: Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures



SPOCK: We usually wear pants to this sort of thing, Mr Kirk.

KIRK: Sorry, left them at your mom's apartment.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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