RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 139,579
Posts: 5,403,240
Members: 24,865
Currently online: 468
Newest member: shyrim

TrekToday headlines

October-November 2014 Trek Conventions And Appearances
By: T'Bonz on Sep 30

Cho Selfie TV Alert
By: T'Bonz on Sep 30

TPTB To Shatner: Shhh!
By: T'Bonz on Sep 30

Mystery Mini Vinyl Figure Display Box
By: T'Bonz on Sep 29

The Red Shirt Diaries Episode Five
By: T'Bonz on Sep 29

Shatner In Trek 3? Well Maybe
By: T'Bonz on Sep 28

Retro Review: Shadows and Symbols
By: Michelle on Sep 27

Meyer: Revitalizing Star Trek
By: T'Bonz on Sep 26

Trek Costumes To Be Auctioned
By: T'Bonz on Sep 25

Hulu Snaps up Abrams-Produced Drama
By: T'Bonz on Sep 25


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies XI+

Star Trek Movies XI+ Discuss J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old May 25 2009, 05:56 PM   #1
Alex1939
Captain
 
Alex1939's Avatar
 
Bad Transcript: Star Trek 2009 (satire)

I liked (but did not love) the new movie. Not sure if this has been posted here or not, but I thought it was really funny and the best "hater review" of the new movie.

I'm pretty new to this forum but I'm surprised by how polarizing this film is on both sides. I find it impossible to believe that anyone could say this was the "best" or "worst" star trek movie ever made. Obviously some are, but I think thats ridiculous.

Anyway, thoughts on this "bad transcript"?

http://bbot.org/badtranscript-startrek.html
Alex1939 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25 2009, 06:31 PM   #2
Silent_Bob
Fleet Captain
 
Silent_Bob's Avatar
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

Alex1939 wrote: View Post
I liked (but did not love) the new movie. Not sure if this has been posted here or not, but I thought it was really funny and the best "hater review" of the new movie.

I'm pretty new to this forum but I'm surprised by how polarizing this film is on both sides. I find it impossible to believe that anyone could say this was the "best" or "worst" star trek movie ever made. Obviously some are, but I think thats ridiculous.

Anyway, thoughts on this "bad transcript"?

http://bbot.org/badtranscript-startrek.html
I've not seen anyone on here call it the "worst Star Trek" film. Both sides still seem to agree that that honour should belong to either Insurrection or Nemesis.
__________________
"Does the cold of deep space make your nipples go pointy Bowie? Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antennae to transmit data back to Earth? I bet you do, you freaky old bastard you"
Silent_Bob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25 2009, 07:31 PM   #3
M'Sharak
Definitely Herbert. Maybe.
 
M'Sharak's Avatar
 
Location: Terra Inlandia
Re: The best "hater" review.

Alex1939 wrote: View Post
...

Anyway, thoughts on this "bad transcript"?

http://bbot.org/badtranscript-startrek.html
I've only read about half of it, but it's pretty funny -- kind of like a "Five-Minute Voyager" version of the movie, only snarkier.
__________________
The motto of the Corbettite Order seems to be Ite Animose... a Latin phrase that can be translated as "go courageously." Alternatively, it can be rendered as "boldly go," which bears a striking resemblance to a phrase heard during the opening credits of a certain popular television series.
M'Sharak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 25 2009, 08:24 PM   #4
Cdr MacDuff
Lieutenant Commander
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

JIMMY BENNETT
I hope the audience is enjoying watching me dangle from a cliff by my fingertips, because they're going to be seeing a lot of it.
Cdr MacDuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 01:33 PM   #5
stonester1
Rear Admiral
 
stonester1's Avatar
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

My vote for worst is still TFF, hands down. I can watch the other two w/o wanting an adult beverage.
__________________
"New and stirring things are belittled because if they are not belittled, the humiliating question arises, 'Why then are you not taking part in them?' " - H. G. Wells
stonester1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 02:14 PM   #6
SalvorHardin
Rear Admiral
 
SalvorHardin's Avatar
 
Location: Star's End
View SalvorHardin's Twitter Profile
Re: The best "hater" review.

Silent_Bob wrote: View Post
I've not seen anyone on here call it the "worst Star Trek" film. Both sides still seem to agree that that honour should belong to either Insurrection or Nemesis.
Actually, no. I've seen a few calling it the worst, even below Nemesis etc
__________________

SalvorHardin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 02:40 PM   #7
Kruge
Lieutenant Commander
 
Kruge's Avatar
 
Location: Furiously shuttling between the Prime and Alternate Universes...
Send a message via Yahoo to Kruge
Re: The best "hater" review.

I wasn't the best Trek...in my humble opinion, it was much better than any TNG-era movie, and falls right behind TWOK

Still a fine action film though, and I think out of the prequels I've seen in the past few years (Batman Begins comes to mind), this one gets me the most excited about the future of this Alternate Trek
__________________
If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Kruge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 02:42 PM   #8
Admiral Buzzkill
Fleet Admiral
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

I think it may be the best Star Trek film - it's far and away the best-made and most expansive of the films. I'm sentimentally attached to TWOK, but that may be the only thing protecting its "best" status.

I mean, come on - look at the rest of 'em. How steep a hill do you think "best" is to climb, here?
Admiral Buzzkill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 02:53 PM   #9
Alex1939
Captain
 
Alex1939's Avatar
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

Pretty steep.

After TWOK, I'd easily put TUC above this film. A much better story, albeit a political one. A great ending.

The search for spock, I'd easily put that above new trek as well. The scenes where Kirk and co. have to steal the Enterprise. The scenes with Kirk and the Klingons.

Personally, I thought First Contact was much better as well.

Dennis, you're acting like all star trek movies have sucked before. This new movie did a lot of things great, effects (love the new warp and transporter effects)... but the overall story plot is swiss cheese. I can't say the same about the other movies I listed, certainly not to the degree of the new movie.


Anyway, glad some people got some laughs out of that review, know I did. Thought it did a nice job of slamming the movie and summing up why I don't find it "perfect" or best ever like some.
Alex1939 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 02:59 PM   #10
WalkerBait
Trekker4747
 
WalkerBait's Avatar
 
Location: Kansas City
Re: The best "hater" review.

"Don't hypo-spray me, bones!"

__________________
Just because it's futuristic doesn't mean it's practical.
WalkerBait is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 03:08 PM   #11
Alex1939
Captain
 
Alex1939's Avatar
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

Trekker4747 wrote: View Post
"Don't hypo-spray me, bones!"

Except it's "Brones!"
Alex1939 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 03:46 PM   #12
Jedi Marso
Commodore
 
Jedi Marso's Avatar
 
Location: Idaho
Re: The best "hater" review.



Pine: "Great, I'm captain. Now what?"

Pegg: "Let's go to the Winchester!"
__________________
High speed, low drag, baby!
Jedi Marso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 04:31 PM   #13
WalkerBait
Trekker4747
 
WalkerBait's Avatar
 
Location: Kansas City
Re: The best "hater" review.

CHEKOV: "Eef ve are coming out ov warps in Tetons ahtmozphere, ve Romulans can not ve detecting us."



ESCAPE POD: "[Spock] totally stranded you here, because he's a total dick. Also: if you go outside you will die."

KIK: "Whatever, I do what I want!"

KIRK goes outside and is almost immediately attacked by a TAUN-TAUN.



I loved this Star Trek movie, but I also love snarky reviews like this.



SULU: "Why do they have to drill a hole for the singularity? And how are they managing to bore a hole in liquid rock?"

DIRECTOR J.J. ABRAMS: "Shut up, NERD."

__________________
Just because it's futuristic doesn't mean it's practical.
WalkerBait is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 05:06 PM   #14
Cryogenic
Lieutenant Commander
 
Cryogenic's Avatar
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

Pretty darn good, though the author barely ripped on half the things he could have. This movie just has so much to offer even an amateur satirist, in my opinion.
Cryogenic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 26 2009, 05:24 PM   #15
Cdr MacDuff
Lieutenant Commander
 
Re: The best "hater" review.

Its not a hater review. Its only a parody/satire (with sarcasm). Theres some funny quote in this script.


CAPTAIN BRUCE GREENWOOD walks in and saves CHRIS's dumb ass.


BRUCE GREENWOOD: CHRIS, you should enlist. Starfleet needs more wildly overconfident hotheaded alpha male rebels. Plus, your test scores were amazing.


BRUCE looks directly at the AUDIENCE.


BRUCE GREENWOOD: CHRIS is smart.



BRUCE GREENWOOD: CHRIS, I want you and JOHN CHO, as well as a literal redshirt, to go down and blow up that drill thing.


ZACHARY QUINTO: Rather than shoot it with a torpedo or something, we have to risk the lives of the first officer, the pilot, and the chief engineer?
...




...

CHRIS PINE
I hope I get to dangle from something by my fingertips!
"Fingertips" should be Kirk's middle name.

ZACH easily destroys the plasma drill, something that the united militaries of Earth apparently found impossible, then flies the red matter ship into ERIC's ship, creating a singularity which begins to consume it.
Its a fair(-er) criticism, I found the future Romulan, Vulcan and Federation much helpless in this movie. Obviously it was to let the Star Trek crew shine, but it seem a little much.
Cdr MacDuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:12 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.