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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies XI+

Star Trek Movies XI+ Discuss J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek here.

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Old May 19 2009, 08:47 AM   #1
Feofilakt
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The NuTrek:TNG game!

Post how you think TNG (or DS9 for that matter) would be if converted into a shiny, Abrams package.

Inspired by:
TheLoneRedshirt wrote: View Post
Key elements of nuTNG (aka, The Next, Next Generation) . . .

-The Enterprise D will be 10 km long with a crew of 10,000.
-Captain Picard will be played by Vin Diesel.
-Instead of "Engage," the Captain will order, "Move it, asshole!"
-Data will be 10 feet tall and covered with chrome for more dramatic lens flare.
-A Borg cube will appear from the future and suck Ferenigar into a black hole. No one will care.
-Deanna Troi will be able to kill with a single thought.
-Geordi LaForge won't be blind, but he will have a slight limp.
-Wesley Crusher dies in the pilot episode.
-Hugh Jackman will play the part of Commander Riker. Yes, he will have the Wolverine claws but fake an American accent.
-Spock (well into his second century) passes on serving as an Ambassador and instead, goes on the talk-show circuit to hawk his book - "I May or May Not Be Spock."
- Worf suffers from self-esteem issues and spends way too much time on the holodeck.
-Ferengi are barbaric forces of Chaos, worship Chaos gods born from The Nexus, and wear way-too-big armor and are Obviously Evil (tm).

-Geordi is played by Wesley Snipes and doesn't have a visor anymore. He has sunglasses. Sunglasses that shoot phaser beams. Also has an "urban" method of speech.
-We get treated to a massive land battle between Federation and Romulan armies in which we get to see the Federation in the aftermath of the battle finishing off prisoners like in 300. Totally cool!
-Captain Picard (played by Vin Diesel) orders a "Budweiser classic" in Ten-Forward, served by a sultry Guinan who merely giggles at everything and coos over Picard.
-Vin Diesel also conspicuously guzzles the bottle with the label facing towards the camera and slams the bottle down, once again, label facing camera. Loudly exclaims "WOW, I FUCKING LOVE BUDWEISER CLASSIC. SHIT!"
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Old May 19 2009, 08:51 AM   #2
Skogul
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Yay, my beautiful 2 minute photoshop job is spotlighted!

Okay, here's one awful and NuTrekky enough to raise just about anyone's hackles:

- Wesley Crusher, still just an acting ensign is now the same type of rebellious, against-the-grain-but-amazingly-good-at-everything kind of lady's man scamp that NuKirk was, no longer the weasely, awkward, nothing-but-good-intentions nerd he was before. He pretty much runs the bridge alongside Vin-Luc Diecard, overshadowing every other member of the bridge crew while disrespecting them by being very conscious and arrogant about his superior knowledge and skills.
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Old May 19 2009, 09:07 AM   #3
Feofilakt
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

The soundtrack could be composed entirely of Ajatarra songs. That'd be pretty sweet.
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Old May 19 2009, 09:12 AM   #4
GalaxyX
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Data will be 10 feet tall and covered with chrome for more dramatic lens flare
LMAO!!!
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Old May 19 2009, 09:24 AM   #5
Skogul
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

- Ten-Forward will become not only a bar and recreation lounge, but a full-on strip joint where all the saucier female members of the cast will perform regularly (Troi, Yar, Keiko O'Brien and occasionally Dr. Crusher and Guinan herself).
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Old May 19 2009, 09:24 AM   #6
Feofilakt
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

GalaxyX wrote: View Post
Data will be 10 feet tall and covered with chrome for more dramatic lens flare
LMAO!!!
Maybe he can have glowing red eyes like the terminator and a 20mm vulcan cannon for a left arm.
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Old May 19 2009, 09:49 AM   #7
Tentacle
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Skogul wrote: View Post
- Ten-Forward will become not only a bar and recreation lounge, but a full-on strip joint where all the saucier female members of the cast will perform regularly (Troi, Yar, Keiko O'Brien and occasionally Dr. Crusher and Guinan herself).
noo not woopy goober ewwwww my eyes!!!
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Old May 19 2009, 09:52 AM   #8
Feofilakt
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Tentacle wrote: View Post
Skogul wrote: View Post
- Ten-Forward will become not only a bar and recreation lounge, but a full-on strip joint where all the saucier female members of the cast will perform regularly (Troi, Yar, Keiko O'Brien and occasionally Dr. Crusher and Guinan herself).
noo not woopy goober ewwwww my eyes!!!
Oh, no. Not woopi. We'll cast Beyonce or something.
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Old May 19 2009, 10:32 AM   #9
Tentacle
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

or bring on Gaila fighting Troi in a duel to the death in Morn's bed.


After they go through the Ferengi transporter ofcouse
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Old May 19 2009, 10:41 AM   #10
Silent_Bob
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

- There is still a lingering romance between Crusher and Picard, but instead of the occasional tender moment over breakfast, Picard expresses his desire by hiding in Crushers closet and watching her undress.

- Starfleet is now sponsered by Nokia, with their logo proudly displayed on the Uniform tunics.

- When captured and tortured by Cardassians, when asked how many lights there are, Picard screams "Lights? There are no lights, THIS IS STARFLEET!" 300 style, because its so cool.
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Old May 19 2009, 10:57 AM   #11
billcosby
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Cardassians should bend over and shoot lasers out of their asses. As often as possible.
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Old May 19 2009, 11:24 AM   #12
Skogul
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Silent_Bob wrote: View Post
- Starfleet is now sponsered by Nokia, with their logo proudly displayed on the Uniform tunics.
Playing off of that concept, Starfleet uniforms now look like this:



Can you find the communicator badge amongst the sponsor patches?
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Old May 19 2009, 11:25 AM   #13
donners22
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Troi would be an interesting and well-developed character. Now THAT'S a reboot.
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Old May 19 2009, 10:51 PM   #14
xman
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

Wesley Crusher will be likable!

X
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Old May 19 2009, 11:02 PM   #15
The Wormhole
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Re: The NuTrek:TNG game!

-The character of Captain DeSoto is reimagined as a total badass.
-Geordi and Dr. Crusher are romantically involved. For some reason.
-Wesley is an emo teenager who always dresses in black and moans about how life sucks. He listens to heavy metal and rejects authority.
-When a sequel is announced, the first thing everyone thinks up is a remake of The Best of Both Worlds.
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