20 stupid questions asked by tourists

Serial thread killer · April 9 2009, 05:45 PM

LOL

I think my favorite is
Is this where Sharon and Ozzie actually
Asked a visitor to Osborne House, Isle of Wight

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...s.html?image=4

An Officer · April 9 2009, 05:54 PM

Asking for such and such monument, which is usually directly in front, behind, or to the side of them... just too dumb to read stuff, let alone recognise by sight. I always point them where they need to go, without making them feel too idiotic. Sometimes they ask me if I speak English before asking.

bigdaddy · April 9 2009, 06:03 PM

An Officer wrote:

Sometimes they ask me if I speak English before asking.

In which case I would give them the dirtiest look ever and point in thew wrong direction.

Tomalak · April 9 2009, 06:04 PM

An Officer wrote:

Asking for such and such monument, which is usually directly in front, behind, or to the side of them... just too dumb to read stuff, let alone recognise by sight. I always point them where they need to go, without making them feel too idiotic. Sometimes they ask me if I speak English before asking.

It's even worse if the place they're looking for happens to be McDonalds...

RoJoHen · April 9 2009, 06:09 PM

I don't know why, but when I'm at work, I always get a kick out of people who ask, "What river is that out there?"

It's the Mississippi River.

And then they get shocked that they're so close to the river, and I just can't help thinking, "Where do you think you are right now?"

acappellasaurus · April 9 2009, 06:17 PM

Here in Alaska, we get a lot of fun ones. "Do you live in igloos?" is a classic.

I attended a Disney Institute training course last summer, and they said that one of the most frequently asked questions in the Disney parks is "what time is the 4:00 parade?"

B.J. · April 9 2009, 06:25 PM

All the rest are funny, but this one:
"Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
I can understand a tourist asking that. The word "circus" just isn't used with that definition in the US.

Mr. Laser Beam · April 9 2009, 06:35 PM

Most of the time when I travel, people actually *give* me information so I don't have to ask stupid questions...like when I was in Boston last year: a transit worker at the station near my hotel, said to me - without me asking - that I should use the Kenmore station, not the Fenway one, to get to Fenway Park, 'cuz Kenmore was closer. And she was right!

I didn't quite know how to take that. I try to blend in wherever I go, I don't want to look like a tourist. I guess I failed. So they can see me coming - they probably figure, hey, why not let him down easy.

An Officer · April 9 2009, 06:49 PM

I sat outside at local cafe and saw a tourist getting out of a cab, paying the driver, and being informed she was £10 short, she then passed over a wad of what appeared to be £20's and £50... he took the £10 and passed back the rest, bless him. Some people have no business being let out in the world.

JonathonWally · April 9 2009, 06:59 PM

Babaganoosh wrote:

I didn't quite know how to take that. I try to blend in wherever I go, I don't want to look like a tourist. I guess I failed. So they can see me coming - they probably figure, hey, why not let him down easy.

You're from Nebraska, with that accent we can tell you're a tourist.

Tourist: "Excuse me, could you tell me where the Empire State Building is?"

Me: "Sure, See that big building, the tallest one in the city? Walk towards it,"

Mr. Laser Beam · April 9 2009, 07:06 PM

JonathonWally wrote:

Babaganoosh wrote:

I didn't quite know how to take that. I try to blend in wherever I go, I don't want to look like a tourist. I guess I failed. So they can see me coming - they probably figure, hey, why not let him down easy.

You're from Nebraska, with that accent we can tell you're a tourist.

Tourist: "Excuse me, could you tell me where the Empire State Building is?"

Me: "Sure, See that big building, the tallest one in the city? Walk towards it,"

I already know where the Empire State Building is.

And I don't have an accent.

(Not that I do much talking anyway when I travel, except when I order at Katz's)

Hermiod · April 9 2009, 07:32 PM

Is the Empire State Building the tallest in New York ?

auntiehill · April 9 2009, 07:33 PM

I live in Texas, and have for over 12 years. But I grew up in California, with a lawyer father and a librarian mother--not to mention, an English nanny.

Wherever I go--the dentist, a department store, the car dealership--they ask, "Where are you from?"

"Um, I live 30 minutes down the road."

"NO---where are you FROM?"

Apparently, I'm too pale, too well-spoken, and/or too goofy looking to be a Texan. I try to take it as a compliment.

What kills me is that people from other states, when they find out I live outside of Houston, will ask the most ridiculously asinine things:
"Do you have a horse?" No, there's no room in my garage
"Do you own a cowboy hat?" Not even if you put a gun to my head.
"Are there oil-wells by your house?" I don't think the HOA would permit it.
"Are there a lot of cactus and tumble-weeds there?" Why, yes. The swamp is known for that sort of thing.
"Do the cattle still stop the traffic?" Um...not if they carpool.

It's the 4th largest city in the United States, not the back-lot set to "Gunsmoke." It's a big, ugly, smog-filled, concrete swamp, consisting of office buildings, strip malls and toll roads.

People really need to read the brochure before they get here, because they will be SEVERELY disappointed otherwise.

RoJoHen · April 9 2009, 07:35 PM

Hermiod wrote:

Is the Empire State Building the tallest in New York ?

It is. At least since the WTC got destroyed.

WillsBabe · April 9 2009, 07:38 PM

Y'know I live in a touristy city. We get lots of tourists, many of them German. I like the tourists and I'm always tolerant of questions. This is because I'm a tourist myself once or twice a year and although I do my best to learn a little of the language before I go, and learn about local customs and culture, I know that I must be making an ass of myself at some points despite the best of intentions.

April 9 2009, 05:45 PM	#1
Serial thread killer Rear Admiral Location: uk	20 stupid questions asked by tourists LOL I think my favorite is Is this where Sharon and Ozzie actually Asked a visitor to Osborne House, Isle of Wight http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...s.html?image=4 __________________ Malcolm on Star Wars: "The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego."

April 9 2009, 05:54 PM	#2
An Officer Vice Admiral Location: Reality & Other Falsehoods	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists Asking for such and such monument, which is usually directly in front, behind, or to the side of them... just too dumb to read stuff, let alone recognise by sight. I always point them where they need to go, without making them feel too idiotic. Sometimes they ask me if I speak English before asking. __________________ "Out there.... thataway."

April 9 2009, 06:09 PM	#5
RoJoHen Awesome Location: Wherever life takes me	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists I don't know why, but when I'm at work, I always get a kick out of people who ask, "What river is that out there?" It's the Mississippi River. And then they get shocked that they're so close to the river, and I just can't help thinking, "Where do you think you are right now?" __________________ I am the Quintessential Admiral. Get ready to grow your EQUINOX BEARD!

April 9 2009, 06:17 PM	#6
acappellasaurus Fleet Captain Location: Anchorage, Alaska	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists Here in Alaska, we get a lot of fun ones. "Do you live in igloos?" is a classic. I attended a Disney Institute training course last summer, and they said that one of the most frequently asked questions in the Disney parks is "what time is the 4:00 parade?"

April 9 2009, 06:25 PM	#7
B.J. Commodore Location: Huntsville, AL, USA	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists All the rest are funny, but this one: "Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?" I can understand a tourist asking that. The word "circus" just isn't used with that definition in the US. __________________ B.J. --- bj-o23.deviantart.com

STAR TREK

CSI

ABOUT US

April 9 2009, 06:35 PM	#8
Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Location: The visitor's bullpen	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists Most of the time when I travel, people actually give me information so I don't have to ask stupid questions...like when I was in Boston last year: a transit worker at the station near my hotel, said to me - without me asking - that I should use the Kenmore station, not the Fenway one, to get to Fenway Park, 'cuz Kenmore was closer. And she was right! I didn't quite know how to take that. I try to blend in wherever I go, I don't want to look like a tourist. I guess I failed. So they can see me coming - they probably figure, hey, why not let him down easy. __________________ It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

April 9 2009, 06:49 PM	#9
An Officer Vice Admiral Location: Reality & Other Falsehoods	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists I sat outside at local cafe and saw a tourist getting out of a cab, paying the driver, and being informed she was £10 short, she then passed over a wad of what appeared to be £20's and £50... he took the £10 and passed back the rest, bless him. Some people have no business being let out in the world. __________________ "Out there.... thataway."

April 9 2009, 07:32 PM	#12
Hermiod Admiral	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists Is the Empire State Building the tallest in New York ?

April 9 2009, 07:33 PM	#13
auntiehill Fleet Admiral Location: av by Chemahkuu	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists I live in Texas, and have for over 12 years. But I grew up in California, with a lawyer father and a librarian mother--not to mention, an English nanny. Wherever I go--the dentist, a department store, the car dealership--they ask, "Where are you from?" "Um, I live 30 minutes down the road." "NO---where are you FROM?" Apparently, I'm too pale, too well-spoken, and/or too goofy looking to be a Texan. I try to take it as a compliment. What kills me is that people from other states, when they find out I live outside of Houston, will ask the most ridiculously asinine things: "Do you have a horse?" No, there's no room in my garage "Do you own a cowboy hat?" Not even if you put a gun to my head. "Are there oil-wells by your house?" I don't think the HOA would permit it. "Are there a lot of cactus and tumble-weeds there?" Why, yes. The swamp is known for that sort of thing. "Do the cattle still stop the traffic?" Um...not if they carpool. It's the 4th largest city in the United States, not the back-lot set to "Gunsmoke." It's a big, ugly, smog-filled, concrete swamp, consisting of office buildings, strip malls and toll roads. People really need to read the brochure before they get here, because they will be SEVERELY disappointed otherwise. __________________ “Throughout history, every mystery ever solved has turned out to be NOT. MAGIC.” --Tim Minchin

April 9 2009, 07:38 PM	#15
WillsBabe Vice Admiral	Re: 20 stupid questions asked by tourists Y'know I live in a touristy city. We get lots of tourists, many of them German. I like the tourists and I'm always tolerant of questions. This is because I'm a tourist myself once or twice a year and although I do my best to learn a little of the language before I go, and learn about local customs and culture, I know that I must be making an ass of myself at some points despite the best of intentions. __________________