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Old January 29 2009, 11:00 PM   #1
Mr Light
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Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

FULL SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF FINAL CRISIS!!!
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I just read the final issue of Final Crisis, so my snap judgments might be a little overly negative here. But what the hell, man. I don't think I understood a damn thing going on in this issue and it just seals the deal on this entire series being a complete mess and embarrassment instead of the 'summer tent pole' (what? it ended in January?).

I can't believe Doug Manhke drew the entire issue. Thanks to the large bevvy of inkers it looks like five different artists drew it and 3/5 of them were absolutely terrible. Obviously this is because this issue was rushed to the presses after the hilariously horrendous delays this series has seen, the series Morrison said he wrote two years ago...

What an anti-climactic ending. We didn't even see Darkseid die or anything, in fact I was left confused if they even really defeated him. Last time we see him he's standing at the command of his army confronting Superman... then they cut away to some more weird shit. We see an astral projection of him visiting Superman as he activates the miracle machine and that shatters, but that doesn't mean Darkseid is dead. In fact I'm not clear WHAT happened to him.

Batman stayed dead for one whole issue. No wonder there was zero media coverage. What a cop-out. Call me crazy but I actually felt he was dead, or at least would be for a year or so so Battle for the Cowl could run its course. So I guess he's in the future or a parallel earth or something?

I really don't understand the role of the Monitors in this story. Their role in Countdown actually made sense, but of course that series apparently no longer "happened". We saw the one guy get kicked out in issue one, then he doesn't do anything the entire series, then he shows up with this Supermen Army... maybe I was reading too fast but if he was human and without powers did he actually have anything to do with this?

What happened to whole bit about the Checkmate secret plan to whisk the population away into a parallel dimension? Is that where the Watchtower was supposed to be in this issue?

Did I miss some important event in Final Crisis Revelations? I know that starred Montoya/Question, who appeared here at the head of the Supermen Army. Oh and the Spectre didn't appear here. Oh, and Libra didn't appear here either. Was he defeated in Revelations or something? 'Cause just reading the main series, what the hell was the point of setting up Libra as Darkseid's main lieutenant?

I think the hugest WTF?! moment has to be Darkseid appearing halfway through the issue and a new outta-nowhere villain some beet red space vampire who they have to defeat. Has this thing appeared elsewhere? I'm pretty sure he wasn't in the FC main series. That was just insane.

And in the final analysis, what consequence does this series have for the DCU as a whole? I guess it actually happened... will the population of the Earth remember this? There's a shot of a city being rebuilt. Will the DCU actually acknowledge this event even occured? Did it change anything? Apparnetly it didn't affect the mulit-verse one way or the other (which I thought was the point of calling it "final" crisis).

I can't believe I actually spent $29.61 to read this piece of crap. I feel so cheated. Not to mention I spent a year looking forward to the final epic amazing battle with Darkseid. Yeesh. Secret Invasion was SO much more entertaining. Great story, great art, big events in every issue, lots of action, but most importantly it made sense!
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Old January 29 2009, 11:09 PM   #2
Gov Kodos
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Your reaction seems common on message boards at any rate. Those that love it do so for the lack of linear narative and lack of definition/exposition which allows them to fill in the blanks as they see fit. Those that dislike it say its for being exactly what you said, a jumbled, incoherent mess of good ideas shoddily strung together without rhyme or reason and which ultimately amounts to nothing. I found it made sense to just leaf through it quicky in the LCS without reading and put it back on the rack.
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Old January 29 2009, 11:18 PM   #3
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Just so I'm not completely negative, I will say the dialogue was great. There were tons of wordy quotable lines throughout the entire series, particularly from Darkseid. ... Here's an interesting interview with Morrison about FC where he makes fun of the vocal minority that doesn't like FC and goes on about how amazingly wonderful FC is http://www.newsarama.com/comics/0109...al-Crisis.html
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Old January 30 2009, 01:47 AM   #4
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

So...this "Crisis" has nothing to do with the whole Multiverse like CotIE or IC did?
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Old January 30 2009, 01:58 AM   #5
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Well, they nabbed a bunch of Supermen from parallel earths to help in the fight. And there was a backup plan to go hiding in a parallel earth. But that's about it. Yet another disappointment about the series.
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Old January 30 2009, 02:01 AM   #6
Gov Kodos
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Pretty much. COIE was a total reboot of the DC Universe. IC added a simple multi-verse, 52 other Earths and some minor continuity changes, such as Wonder Woman being a founder of the JLA as she was originally. FC doesn't seem to have even that little impact. It's like DC is in the 90's again, events just for the sake of them- i.e. get money.
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Old January 30 2009, 03:01 AM   #7
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

That's fine if they wanted to do a cross-over for cross-over sake, but that is lame that they attached it to the "Crisis" label. With DC, "Crisis" implies a multiverse tie. Especially since they called it Final Crisis, indicating there have been others before it (and further suggesting a tie into the previous mini-series).
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Old January 30 2009, 04:14 AM   #8
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Have you seen the Producers?

They made it stink on purpose.

Why?

Fuck'd'I-know, but this had to be self sabotage some where along the chain of responsibility... But it's also The Emperors new Clothes... But if the thought of another Crisis is now at the furthermost of everyones mind, ever one can get back to
month to moneth comics rather than non stop events. because lets face it, if this book was awesome, then we would demand another crisis.
Although.

Here's what I really think happened.

Pure speculation.

Grant Pissed off a lot of people over his hissy fit with the new Gods.

People he needed.

Writers and editors who were supposed to fill in the gaps for his story he purposely left open so that it could be a cross dcu team effort, but for some reason, maybe it was more than the New Gods, no one volunteered to write the stories needed to make his story make sense... And by the time he realized that he was the dog faced boy no one wanted to play with, it was too late.
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Old January 30 2009, 04:23 AM   #9
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Actually in the interview I linked to, and in quotes on the wiki page for it, it basically sounds like Morrison intended this to be an intentional exaggeration and distortion of the usual modern comic, exaggerating trends by making it completely dark and apocalyptic and nonsensical. So in some ways he DID make it intentionally bad. If only I had know this before I shelled out my $30 bucks!

Another fun bit? He intentionally made Wonder Woman an evil pig and then never gave her a moment to shine versus showing all the other characters and families because in the olden days her comics were full of her being captured, in bondage, defaced, etc.

I just thought of something else. Since Darkseid was inhabiting Dan Turpin's body at the time, didn't the heroes just murder poor Terrible Turpin?

Also, what happened to all the other reincarnated New Gods? Since they were all inhabiting human bodies, what happened to them? Did we see the final fate of any character aside from Kallibak? Glorious Godfrey? Granny Goodness?
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Old January 30 2009, 05:06 AM   #10
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Mr Light wrote: View Post
Actually in the interview I linked to, and in quotes on the wiki page for it, it basically sounds like Morrison intended this to be an intentional exaggeration and distortion of the usual modern comic, exaggerating trends by making it completely dark and apocalyptic and nonsensical. So in some ways he DID make it intentionally bad. If only I had know this before I shelled out my $30 bucks!

Another fun bit? He intentionally made Wonder Woman an evil pig and then never gave her a moment to shine versus showing all the other characters and families because in the olden days her comics were full of her being captured, in bondage, defaced, etc.

I just thought of something else. Since Darkseid was inhabiting Dan Turpin's body at the time, didn't the heroes just murder poor Terrible Turpin?

Also, what happened to all the other reincarnated New Gods? Since they were all inhabiting human bodies, what happened to them? Did we see the final fate of any character aside from Kallibak? Glorious Godfrey? Granny Goodness?
This reminds me of a story about an old song. Basically, the early 60's had a lot of examples of 'teen death' songs-what Don Mclain referred to as 'dirges in the dark' in his classic 'American Pie'. 'Teen Angel' was written as a parody of the genre--the girl who dies gets caught in the fatal wreck she almost escaped because she went running back to fetch her beau's high school ring. The problem was, the song caught every point it meant to make fun of so well, very few know what its original intent was. In a similar vein, friends of mine can't stand 'The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra' because it recreates the Ed Wood-esque films it mocks all too well.

I think that, as the years go by, Grant Morrison will be repeating his explanation of FC like a mantra, possibly as he watches it counted as the prime example of what he meant to mock.
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Old January 30 2009, 06:47 AM   #11
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

It's amusing that Morrison stated that Countdown and DOTNG had very little bearing on FC, but if you didn't read either of them, you'd have had NO idea that the New Gods had been systematically killed off or WHY Mary Marvel was evil. And the opinion people who really liked the story have irks me in that they basically say if you don't "get it", you're stupid. FC could have been a LOT better if it hadn't amounted to the equiveilent of someone channel surfing through all their cable channels one after another. No plot was really fleshed out to completion; it just jumped around and around until I think Morrison was forced to some kind of conclusion. I think it may have helped the story to be a BIT better if the art team had been consistant; the fact that practically every issue had multiple artists, inkers and colorists didn't do it any favors; they should have had Mahnke draw the damn thing. Jones had a year lead in time, and drew...what, 2 1/4 issues? Didn't they learn ANYTHING from Infinite Crisis?

It's just bad writing on his part to set Darkseid up as the ULTIMATE BADASS....when he really didn't do SQUAT. His minions did everything. About the only thing he did was unless the Anti-Life Equation and zap Batman, which didn't even kill him. Who really thinks Bruce will stay in the past for long? And what the hell was the point of calling the arc RIP when he OBVIOUSLY didn't die? And then, to go on with the bad writing, bring in someone as the REAL big bad who, unless you read Superman Beyond (which we were told you DID NOT NEED TO READ THE TIE INS), you had NO idea who he was or why he was there. Very bad writing to have a bait and switch. And don't even get me started on the whole "Batman is missing from gotham" thing. The timeline on that particular gem is f**ked all the hell.

They had to take Bruce out of the picture....why, exactly? So Morrison could craft another out there arc? I take solace in he fact that he's NOT writing Battle for the Cowl or the one shots in that they might have a chance of being coherent and enjoyable. I find it laughable that peopel bash Secret Invasion, when it was SO MUCH more orchastrated and coherent. You didn't HAVE to get the tie ins to understand what was going on int he story; but they added to the overall enjoyment of it. The Main series could've been read as a standalone and STILL would have told all that needed to be told. I am much more looking forward to where Dark Reign goes than I am where the DC books go post Crisis.
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Old January 30 2009, 07:50 AM   #12
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

I recently read Secret Invasion in trade. The only series I follow monthly are Spider-man and Captain America, so I was a little behind in current events. Did I have trouble following it? No. Did I enjoy it? Yes.

All that I've heard from FC is that it is really convoluted and requires a lot of other reading to 'get'. Infinite Crisis was a bit too deep, but I was at least able to piece together the story. Secret Invasion is simple: the Skrulls (who shape shift) are invading because their planet was destroyed. Can anyone explain to me the premise of FC in one sentence that provides all the backstory I need?

DC really needs to take a page from Green Lantern. Now that is fairly easy to understand (space-cops) with the required backstory being simple (bad cop forms his own evil cops). Now I haven't read through Sinestro Corp War (going to do that over the next week), but I've heard great things about it and the premise is simple. I want a complex story, but I should not have to read a bunch of extraneous stuff to understand it.
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Old January 30 2009, 01:20 PM   #13
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

I've found it incredibly difficult to follow Final Crisis (aside from the fact that I've been flipping through the issues at the comic shop and not buying the series) but have been more interested and emotionally invested in Secret Invasion and Dark Reign rather than Final Crisis or any of it's tie-in issues. I was planning on buying FC when it comes out in HC format later this spring or summer...along with Batman R.I.P. and Final Crisis Legion of 3 Worlds. The part I'm most confused on is...how is Batman in the future when Superman found his corpse at the end of last issue? I know that Darkseid zapped him with the Omega Sanctum or whatever and that it was a alternate timeline energy thingy...still confused.
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Old January 30 2009, 02:03 PM   #14
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

Havent got the time to do a long eloquent post so I'll just summarize:

Grant Morrison - once a good writer, did some nifty stuff on Zenith and Animal Man, now far too obsessed with his own sense of self importance and over exaggerated talent. A one trick deconstructionist pony who couldnt tell a decent story now if it flew out of his arse. To be blunt, a comic destroyer. Almost destroyed the Xmen, pretty much destroyed Batman and the whole Crisis we were building toward. IC, Countdown......totally pointless now. Grant has shat on them.

If I ever see this guy on the street, he's getting a verbal bollocking!!
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Old January 30 2009, 02:46 PM   #15
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Re: Final Crisis #7 of 7 (spoilers)

^Well for me, he did destroy The X-Men. Or at least what I liked about them. The term "Raped my childhood" gets thrown around a lot, without any meaning. In my case, not so much. I've never forgiven him for it, and I'll always hold a huge grudge against him because of it.

That being said, he can write a Superman story for the ages. What he needs is damn editor to put limits on him and tell him no.
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