If programming languages were religions

Neroon · December 17 2008, 03:51 AM

Well, so this may well be true in real life. Nevertheless, check out this list.

I'm positive there are other programmers out here who will get a solid laugh or two out of this list. My personal favorites are:

"COBOL would be Ancient Paganism - There was once a time when it ruled over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it's almost dead, for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive even today."

and

"Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don't REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist..."

Nerys Ghemor · December 17 2008, 03:57 AM

Oh, man...the COBOL/Kobol jokes are just too easy...

Robert Maxwell · December 17 2008, 04:19 AM

I love the one for Python (my favorite language):

Python would be Humanism: It's simple, unrestrictive, and all you need to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers claim to feel relieved from all the burden imposed by other languages, and that they have rediscovered the joy of programming. There are some who say that it is a form of pseudo-code.

Perl is also very appropriate:

Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

I would add another one: MUMPS would be a Greek mystery religion. If you know MUMPS, you know it, and people who don't simply can't understand. Ever. It is esoteric, known only to the few--the initiated, the learned. And nobody else really gives a damn, because they've never even heard of it.

Lindley · December 17 2008, 06:08 AM

Quite apt in most cases.

Argus Skyhawk · December 23 2008, 05:29 PM

Yep, I got a kick out of that list. Thanks for the link.

BCI · December 24 2008, 01:03 PM

I learned two languages in school, both of which are not on that list...

CuttingEdge100 · December 29 2008, 09:24 PM

That was a very good bit

Brolan · December 30 2008, 02:53 AM

COBOL is far from dead or unimportant. There are millions of lines of COBOL code in use by major corporations today.

GalaxyX · January 1 2009, 01:41 AM

I love the connection between C and Java, it's so true lol

December 17 2008, 03:51 AM	#1
Neroon Memory and awareness Location: On my ship the Rocinante, wheeling thru the galaxy	If programming languages were religions Well, so this may well be true in real life. Nevertheless, check out this list. I'm positive there are other programmers out here who will get a solid laugh or two out of this list. My personal favorites are: "COBOL would be Ancient Paganism - There was once a time when it ruled over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it's almost dead, for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive even today." and "Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don't REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist..." __________________ “You break through the veil whenever you strap on a sword or chant the ancient verses. You escape when you write a poem or a tale that brings beauty into the world. You are set free whenever you love—even those who believe you’re crazy." ~ Jef Murray, 'Seer: A Wizard's Journal'

December 17 2008, 03:57 AM	#2
Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Location: Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor	Re: If programming languages were religions Oh, man...the COBOL/Kobol jokes are just too easy... __________________ Are you a Cardassian fan, citizen? Prove your loyalty--check out my fanfic universe, Star Trek: Sigils and Unions. Or keep the faith on my AU Cardassia, Sigils and Unions: Catacombs of Oralius!

December 17 2008, 06:08 AM	#4
Lindley Moderator with a Soul Location: Fairfax, VA	Re: If programming languages were religions Quite apt in most cases. __________________ Lead Organizer for EVN: Firefly. "So apparently the really smart zombies have automatic weapons!" -Torg, Sluggy Freelance

December 23 2008, 05:29 PM	#5
Argus Skyhawk Commodore Location: Argus Skyhawk	Re: If programming languages were religions Yep, I got a kick out of that list. Thanks for the link. __________________ I am the only person in the entire world who is not unique.

December 24 2008, 01:03 PM	#6
BCI Rear Admiral	Re: If programming languages were religions I learned two languages in school, both of which are not on that list... __________________ At least the handle is one of us said the trees when the axe came into the wood...

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December 29 2008, 09:24 PM	#7
CuttingEdge100 Commodore	Re: If programming languages were religions That was a very good bit

December 30 2008, 02:53 AM	#8
Brolan Commodore Location: Backwoods Minnesota	Re: If programming languages were religions COBOL is far from dead or unimportant. There are millions of lines of COBOL code in use by major corporations today.

January 1 2009, 01:41 AM	#9
GalaxyX Rear Admiral Location: Canada	Re: If programming languages were religions I love the connection between C and Java, it's so true lol __________________ I love chemicals!!!