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Old December 27 2008, 09:51 AM   #16
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Re: My Sister is Dying

My heart goes out to you and your family. As I work in social services I often work with the alcoholics, hoping that they see the light and not end up like your sister do. I only work "for them" and am not related to them. Still it breaks my heart sometimes.
I hope this time will be the best it can be, and that your sister finds her rest.
All my thoughts and care sent your way..
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Old December 27 2008, 09:52 AM   #17
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Re: My Sister is Dying

My best thoughts are with you and your family. Know that you have friends here.
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Old December 27 2008, 10:07 AM   #18
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Oh Digits!

Make that huge hugs.
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Old December 27 2008, 10:08 AM   #19
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Nothing I can say will be adequate, but I truly wish you, your sister, and the rest of your family the best during this crisis.

Having felt helpless myself in the face of an alcoholic who doesn't want to quit even after hitting the proverbial rock bottom, I sympathize completely with your unenviable situation.

Good luck.
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Old December 27 2008, 10:20 AM   #20
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Wow, I'm speechless.

You have my condolences. I'll think good thoughts for you and your family.
Hating the anti-intellectual movement since before it was actually a movement.
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Old December 27 2008, 11:17 AM   #21
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Re: My Sister is Dying

As someone who has alcoholism in the family, I fully understand. You and your family are in my thoughts.
"I am who I am. Someone has to be."-Brendan Gleeson as Reynald in Kingdom of Heaven. - Emher
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Old December 27 2008, 11:31 AM   #22
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Re: My Sister is Dying

digits, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I wish there was some way to save your sister. I've seen a lot of destruction caused by alcohol and drugs over the years, both in my career and my personal life, so I have some idea of what you're going through. The bottom line is that some people just can't be helped-- no matter what you do, they won't let you. I wish I could figure out the secret....
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Old December 27 2008, 12:56 PM   #23
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Re: My Sister is Dying

I am so sorry that you have this to deal with. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
But... we're Star Trek fans. As logic is to Vulcans, as honour to Klingons, so is griping on the Internet to us.....Trent Roman
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Old December 27 2008, 01:53 PM   #24
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Sorry to hear about that. It must be so difficult, especially during this time of the year.
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Old December 27 2008, 01:57 PM   #25
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Re: My Sister is Dying

I've had some dealings with alcoholics.

When I was younger my mom used to drink and disappear for the prime time hours. Spending money for food and cloths on alcohol. She up-and-down denies it, but the family tells me my father died chocking on his own vomit while drunk on his back.

She still has not giving up drinking. It's cost her a visit to a place best not left to regular non drinkers, and a accident where she flipped a car over. It's also cost her the one guy who would have probably settled down with her.

The second is a friend of mine. His story is long, but the highlights are:

Waking up the wee hours of the morning to drink,
Drinking alone,
Getting so drunk he couldn't remember certain things,
Spending hundreds f dollars each month of beer until it was breaking him,
Buying things that put him in trouble or debt (even almost killing him),
Wife telling him so was going to leave him if he didn't stop,
Hiding empty beer bottle in the trash can, in the tool box, anywhere else,
Passing out (passed out one time whiel standing up, and fell forward, hitting his head into the wall -- he just stood that way),
Doctors telling him if he didn't stop drinking NOW, he was going to die (he kept drinking),
And one time going some place but came back and couldn't remember what he was doing.

Alcoholism, in fact alcohol in general, is a disgusting thing of life. I washed my hands of him and my mother. If someone wants to do themselves in like that, I say have fun -- I'll go on with my life.

For those curious, about a year and-a-half ago he checked himself in to rehab (Which involed driving drunk to another city, by the way). He completely turned his life around, his liver and everything cleared up un beleivably so nicely he's in remarkable health for what happened. He's lost all the weight, healthy, and he got back into the band (which is now owns).

My mom on the other hand...
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Old December 27 2008, 02:32 PM   #26
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Oh...that is so sad that this disease destroys a person so completly--and the family too--and the alcoholic person refuses help

You're in my thoughts digits


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Old December 27 2008, 02:38 PM   #27
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Re: My Sister is Dying

digits, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I understand about the family "electing" you. Mine did the same when my father passed a few years ago.

Hospice is an amazing group of people - make use of them. I cannot say enough about the grace of people that deal with death on a daily basis like they do.

Good luck - and remember to take some time for yourself as well.
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Old December 27 2008, 02:40 PM   #28
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Re: My Sister is Dying

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

Yes it is bizarre to see someone so obviously ruining their life but unable/unwilling to stop. The last time she was in the hospital, the staff found an empty vodka bottle in her nightstand. I deal with it everyday at work. I understand the physical and psychological dynamics. Yet it still baffles me.

The hospice people have been fantastic. Dealing with my sister under any circumstances can be challenging. Under these circumstances, it is truly exhausting. They are trying to make her comfortable. Her body is shutting down now. She goes in and out of lucidity. She's confused and I'm sure quite scared.
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States...The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge'.” - Isaac Asimov
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Old December 27 2008, 03:00 PM   #29
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Re: My Sister is Dying

You have my deepest sympathies and condolences
If there's a justification for my actions right now, it's this: I have gone completely mad
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Old December 27 2008, 03:10 PM   #30
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Re: My Sister is Dying

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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