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Old October 11 2008, 01:34 AM   #1
Gaith
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Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

No one asked for it, but since PT rehashing never seems to go out of style around here, I thought I'd offer five specific*, constructive tips for GL circa 1996.

*As opposed to legit but generic stuff, like "hire actual writers" and "include recognizably human emotion".


So, without further ado... Five Ways to Fix the PT!


1. Anakin should be a child soldier on a war-torn planet
I don't buy that anyone with as loving a mother as Shmi (and with as non-traumatic a childhood as she seemed to provide) could turn evil. Anakin should have been an orphan child soldier and a killer before the Jedi even found him. And please, no Tatooine. Seeing it again in ROTJ was regressive enough, but it had no place in the prequels before the last shot of Ep. III.


2. More than two Sith
GL seems to have figured this out, though I'm not sure how Ventress and Starkilller fit into the "only two" rule. (The latter may have been hidden, but surely not the former.) How awesome would it have been to see massive red-on-other-blade saber fights? I know, there's the whole backstabbing issue, but Palps could have his Sith addicted to a drug only he controlled, or made clones of himself with very limited life-spans; there are ways around the problem. The "only two" rule is just lame. Two Sith alone can't wipe out a generation of Jedi no matter how many clones they command.


3. No damn battle droids
GL obviously didn't want kids to see Jedi dismembering living beings right and left. Shoulda thought of that before you gave them laser swords, hombre. The battle droids were obviously more advanced than any seen in the OT, and for that reason alone, never mind the awkward comic relief, should not have been included.

Not to mention that Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, I believe, made it pretty clear that clones were used by both/all sides of the conflict.


4. Far fewer OT connections
Self-explanatory. Vader didn't build Threepio. Yoda didn't ride on Chewie's back. I don't necessarily mind Palps creating Anakin but for Pete's sake let's keep it at that.


5. More/better women
There isn't a single speaking female Jedi in the PT, though RotS had a deleted scene in which one such character uses her only line to apologize to a guy for failing. Hey, George: if you show us female Jedi, and I might even support you didn't, it makes no sense not to hear from them. And no, Ashoka does not make up for lost ground in this regard.

Also, the whole Padme thing. Even before her meaningless death, does she really do anything significant throughout the PT except briefly get her planet back? Leia's leading role throughout the OT gave it a valuable dimension the PT lacked.
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Old October 11 2008, 02:18 AM   #2
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

"Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody the power, the other to crave it." - Darth Bane
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Old October 11 2008, 03:33 AM   #3
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

I have been suggesting that the two sith rule was one of the single stupidest storypoints in the PT since the Phantom Menace.
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Old October 11 2008, 03:37 AM   #4
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Padme did nothing in the third movie except to give birth and die. Her entire rebel alliance formation subplot was cut out.

How Anakin turned to the darkside was also pretty bad. Something like that is right out of grade school creative writing. Why not have Palpantine influencing him more during the second movie? Give Anakin some seeds of doubt about the Jedi way instead of, "You didn't promote me to Jedi Master! I'm going to my room to throw a temper tantrum while I read Tiger Beat!"

When a filmmaker has too little power, the big studio heads meddle and change everything to the point of being unrecognizable. When a filmmaker has too much power, there's no one to check and balance him.
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Old October 11 2008, 03:53 AM   #5
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

^especially lord Lucas who doesn't seem like the type to invite friendly criticism. All the behind the scenes featurettes had at least a few people who had some doubtful looks on their faces when Lucas chimed in. Nobody said anything though except the usual line that Lucas is a genius.
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Old October 11 2008, 03:56 AM   #6
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Anakin and Padmé should have been older, particularly Anakin.

Naboo should have been Alderaan.

Padmé should have been Queen of Alderaan, and then abdicated after TPM to take on a more active role in the Republic Senate, leaving the throne to her cousin, Bail Organa.
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Old October 11 2008, 04:25 AM   #7
MeanJoePhaser
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Neeson should've Obi-Wan, face it. Qui Gon was an unnecessary character.

Grievous needed to be introduced a movie earlier or dumped entirely. Same for Dooku.

And the rest...blah, blah, Jar-Jar sucks, battle droid designs and voices blow, Jake Lloyd can't act well...
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Old October 11 2008, 05:20 AM   #8
davejames
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

gaith1 wrote: View Post

1. Anakin should be a child soldier on a war-torn planet
I don't buy that anyone with as loving a mother as Shmi (and with as non-traumatic a childhood as she seemed to provide) could turn evil. Anakin should have been an orphan child soldier and a killer before the Jedi even found him. And please, no Tatooine. Seeing it again in ROTJ was regressive enough, but it had no place in the prequels before the last shot of Ep. III.
Actually I think making Schmi and Anakin slaves was a really inspired idea by Lucas. Unfortunately you never got the sense they had it all that hard on Tattooine-- certainly not to the point where Anakin would have all this pent up anger and resentment about it later, or would be so susceptible to the Dark Side.

Hell, he had his own robot and got to go pod-racing whenever he wanted! I don't know about you guys, but that's a MUCH more exciting childhood than I had growing up!
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Old October 11 2008, 07:27 AM   #9
jonnyskywatcher
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

gaith1 wrote: View Post
1. Anakin should be a child soldier on a war-torn planet
I don't buy that anyone with as loving a mother as Shmi (and with as non-traumatic a childhood as she seemed to provide) could turn evil. Anakin should have been an orphan child soldier and a killer before the Jedi even found him. And please, no Tatooine. Seeing it again in ROTJ was regressive enough, but it had no place in the prequels before the last shot of Ep. III.
I think way too obvious if Anakin had had that bad of a childhood that he would turn to the dark side, not to mention it would basically be saying that he's not responsible for his downfall because he never had a chance. And it would be ridiculous that the Jedi would train or allow Obi-wan to train him if he had this kind of history. They were worried because of his fear, and you're suggesting he should already be a min-Vader? Should he also have a little Vader suit? It's not a tragedy if there is no hero.

I prefer an Anakin that falls to the dark side because of his own choices not because of a crummy childhood.

2. More than two Sith
GL seems to have figured this out, though I'm not sure how Ventress and Starkilller fit into the "only two" rule. (The latter may have been hidden, but surely not the former.) How awesome would it have been to see massive red-on-other-blade saber fights? I know, there's the whole backstabbing issue, but Palps could have his Sith addicted to a drug only he controlled, or made clones of himself with very limited life-spans; there are ways around the problem. The "only two" rule is just lame. Two Sith alone can't wipe out a generation of Jedi no matter how many clones they command.
Sure it might have been more cool to see more Sith (and I don't acknowledge any additional semi-Sith outside of the movies), but I think it's much cooler that Palpatine beat the Jedi with cunning not with numbers (though he did have lot and lots of clone soldiers.) And the way Sith are presented, it isn't very reasonable to have many of them together, because why don't they kill each other?

3. No damn battle droids
GL obviously didn't want kids to see Jedi dismembering living beings right and left. Shoulda thought of that before you gave them laser swords, hombre. The battle droids were obviously more advanced than any seen in the OT, and for that reason alone, never mind the awkward comic relief, should not have been included.
I don't think it was so much an issue of Lucas not wanting to see Jedi dismembering living beings, but that if you put that in it raises the rating. Using battle droids allowed them to show Jedi using lightsabers to their true potential while keeping the rating low.

Not to mention that Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, I believe, made it pretty clear that clones were used by both/all sides of the conflict.
Which was written before the PT, which Lucas obviously ignored.
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Old October 11 2008, 07:57 AM   #10
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

-I always got the impression from the OT and some tie-in works that by the time of the the prequels, the Jedi Order was pretty obscure. It would have been cooler to see them as sort of secretive peacekeepers, working silently to bring justice to the galaxy. So have them as a secretive organization that meets on backwater planets. Maybe the Jedi Temple would be some cool Maccu Piccu style ruins.
-Drop the whole taxation dispute/EP1 plot. Make EP 1 about the events that trigger the Clone Wars, with the end of the movie being the very first battle of them.
-Built actual sets so that the actors don't look like akward wooden puppets and hire better actors.
-On that note, cut back on the excessive OMG KEWL CGI. It was pretty annoying to have your immersion broken by VFX that try too hard to be cool.
-Better writing. As an actor and an aspiring writer, the dialogue made me cringe terribly.
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Old October 11 2008, 08:09 AM   #11
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Before I delve deeper into this issue, I think that Qui Gon and Obi Wan should have been one character.
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Old October 11 2008, 08:57 AM   #12
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

gaith1 wrote: View Post
1. Anakin should be a child soldier on a war-torn planet
I don't buy that anyone with as loving a mother as Shmi (and with as non-traumatic a childhood as she seemed to provide) could turn evil. Anakin should have been an orphan child soldier and a killer before the Jedi even found him. And please, no Tatooine. Seeing it again in ROTJ was regressive enough, but it had no place in the prequels before the last shot of Ep. III.
Wasn't Anakin established as having been from Tatooine in the original Star Wars (Episode IV)?
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Old October 11 2008, 02:18 PM   #13
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Qui-Gon should've died under mysterious circumstances and returned as the... siiigh... Count "Dooku" character in the second two films.

The entire trilogy should have spanned 3 or 4 years, similar to the original films. Anakin should have been around Luke's age when we met him. He should've actually been a great pilot, as Ben Kenobi mentions.

I would've liked to see Obi-Wan and Anakin be much closer, they tried to ram a bit of "They're real comrades!" in the first act of Episode III, but too little, too late. I would've liked to see them be more like buddies, a lot of mutual respect, etc. in the first film.

More Clone War stuff on screen. The series stars, the Clone Wars have already begun. I don't want to have to watch cartoons or play video games or read books to learn about the conflict.

I'd have expanded the basic plot of Revenge of the Sith, basically have that "downfall of Anakin" span two films. Maybe have the Anakin/Obi-Wan lava battle occur at the end of the second film or at the midway point of the third. I'd have been very interesed to see Darth Vader, armor and all, for a chunk of screen time in the final film, with Obi-Wan and Yoda on the run from the Sith Lord.
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Old October 11 2008, 04:11 PM   #14
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

Cicero wrote: View Post
gaith1 wrote: View Post
1. Anakin should be a child soldier on a war-torn planet
I don't buy that anyone with as loving a mother as Shmi (and with as non-traumatic a childhood as she seemed to provide) could turn evil. Anakin should have been an orphan child soldier and a killer before the Jedi even found him. And please, no Tatooine. Seeing it again in ROTJ was regressive enough, but it had no place in the prequels before the last shot of Ep. III.
Wasn't Anakin established as having been from Tatooine in the original Star Wars (Episode IV)?
Not even a hint.
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Old October 11 2008, 04:31 PM   #15
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Re: Some totally useless thoughts on what the PT shoulda been like

I have to agree that there should have been more to Anakin's fall to the dark side. Sure we saw that he could get pissed in AoTC, but I would have preferred it if Anakin's fall to the Dark Side was alot slower. I would have rather seen it be a slow slide that took place over several years, instead of just suddenly deciding that he needed Dark Side powers to save Padme. I also think it would have been more interesting if as he was going dark he started working as a spy in the Order. That really would have made it that much more painful for the Jedi when they found out he was a Sith.
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