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Old December 6 2009, 04:36 PM   #1
Mr Light
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Fellas: Pants Bulge

OK guys I have a weird question for you. Don't freak out!

I started a new job a few months ago where I have to wear a tie and dress clothes everyday. I hate dressing up and I'm not familiar with it. Now I work exclusively with women. Out of the 35 employees there's 4 guys other than me and 2 of them are the executives.

I've never noticed this before but my junk seems to be a noticeably visible swell in my pants. I don't mean this as a joke or a brag cause it isn't but I'm worried about this. Are my (predominantly female) co-workers noticing this? Am I wearing clothes wrong somehow? I wear 'tighty whiteys' and, yknow, dress pants, I don't know what they're called. And for some reason it's twice as noticeable (to me) in brown pants as it is in black pants so I pretty much stopped wearing my brown pants!

I'm just wondering if this is normal, for your package to be a visible swell in your pants at all times. I basically pull my belt line down as much as I can to minimize this. I don't want to go around staring at other guys' crotches to see if this is normal or not

Or am I wearing the wrong clothes? Or do I have abnormally sticky outey parts?
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Old December 6 2009, 05:52 PM   #2
sojourner
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

If your lucky, the right girls will notice.

The cut and color of the pants can be a factor in how "prominent" your package may look. Try shopping around for different styles of slacks.
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Old December 6 2009, 05:55 PM   #3
Geckothan
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

Why would you want to minimize it?
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Old December 6 2009, 06:02 PM   #4
captcalhoun
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

yes, mine is noticeable. i'm well hung (so i'm told) so i put up with it.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:10 PM   #5
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

I have found that a flat front slack seems to emphasize "the package" more than a pleated pair. Both don't really hide all that much anyway. But if you are wanting to minimize the effect, you might want to try a pair of looser fitting pant with a relaxed fit. "Relaxed fit" slacks tend to have a lower hanging crotch and a looser rear area that helps minimize any "frontal protrusion". A pair of boxers rather than briefs will also help. (Y-fronts usually lift, cup and cheat everything to the front.)

But to be honest, most women tend not to notice such things. Besides, men have been wearing tight-fitting slacks for several hundred years so bulges are common place these days... unless you are working in a convent or something. I don't even think about hiding "the bulge" from people. Mine does "stick out" but hiding it has never actually crossed my mind.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:15 PM   #6
Pingfah
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

Where what you want, as long as you aren't flapping it about in their faces, who cares
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Old December 6 2009, 06:23 PM   #7
Mr Light
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

I'm working at a bank. Well the thought of being around all these women with my steak n' bits sticking out is an incredibly embarrassing idea, not to mention I don't want to be violating the dress code or anything I want to succeed here
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Old December 6 2009, 06:26 PM   #8
OmahaStar
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

This thread is useless without pictures.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:27 PM   #9
FordSVT
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

TWs are like a push up bra for your dick, and I generally can't stand wearing them because they feel constrictive. Try wearing boxers, you'll hang a little more naturally instead of having your wang scrunched up into a piece of fabric and placed in front of your body.

Then there's the very real possibility that the pants you wear are too tight in the groin and upper leg area. Have you ever actually gone to a store that can size you and measure you properly? Dress/work slacks don't usually fit the same way that, say, a pair of jeans might. Even if you don't buy expensive work clothing the information can be helpful when you purchase your clothes on your own.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:29 PM   #10
Flying Spaghetti Monster
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

Put things in perspective a bit, will you? I have a friend who has a lymphatic problem. It causes swelling, actually severe swelling in one leg and his package, and he cn barely walk, can't work out of the house any more, and is in a lot of pain all the time. Be thankful for what you have.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:31 PM   #11
iguana_tonante
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

Yeah, when I dress in slacks I notice that, too. But it's just the way they are cut. If you are not accustomed it may seems weird at first, but give time and you won't notice anymore. Don't worry.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:33 PM   #12
cultcross
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

OmahaStar wrote: View Post
This thread is useless without pictures.
I dunno, I'm oddly OK with it
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Old December 6 2009, 06:46 PM   #13
Holdfast
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

Impossible to tell you what's going on without pics, and I don't really want to see them. Even at the clothes boards I read, posting a thread on pant bulge with accompanying pics is likely to result in much hilarity and/or the thread getting moved to the dumb threads part of the board.

Assuming it's a genuine problem and not just in your head, consult a good tailor and ask them what they would have done differently if they were making the trousers from scratch. That should give you an idea of what's going wrong and what to look for. It's probably a function of insufficient front rise (settle down at the back, children), but who knows. Once you know what's wrong with the cut, and assuming you don't want to pony up for bespoke, go shopping for different brands that address the problem.
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Old December 6 2009, 06:47 PM   #14
Geckothan
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

OmahaStar wrote: View Post
This thread is useless without pictures.
No thanks
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Old December 6 2009, 06:50 PM   #15
Locutus of Bored
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Re: Fellas: Pants Bulge

I have the same problem.

Every time I go to the deli, they jump me on the way out because they think I'm shoplifting a salami in my crotch.

I can't even go into a police station to pay a ticket without all the cops pulling their guns on me since they think I'm packing heat.

One time I saw rocker Tommy Lee on the street, and after glancing at my pants, he just gave me a knowing smile, a slow nod, and a thumbs up, as if we knew each other or something. It was kind of creepy.

The worst time though was when I was trying to ride Space Mountain at Disneyland, and the lap restraints kept bouncing back up every time I tried to put them down. One of the attendants came over and stood on it, trying to force the metal bar to lock into place, but the pain was just too much for me to handle. I had to disembark and do the walk of shame in front of all the families standing in line, fathers shielding their kid's eyes, mothers embarrassingly wolf-whistling at me and yelling out their phone numbers.

I wish I had a more discreet form of attire to wear. Kilts are out, because it would look like an anaconda emerging from the tent of a recently consumed victim. Leather is a no go, because with all the friction it would be like rubbing two massive sticks together, and I live in a brushfire zone. And sweatpants just make it look like I'm smuggling a punching bag and and two medicine balls out of the gym.

Maybe something like a hardsuit for deep sea divers or the body armor that guy invented to wrestle bears would do the trick.
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