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Old June 5 2009, 04:10 AM   #316
Marie1
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Will post more tomorrow, but-great Jem'Hadar names!!

Also, I'm not sure the Jem'Hadar would call Vorta "esteemed"- at least not if they weren't there?
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Old June 5 2009, 04:28 AM   #317
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Marie1 wrote: View Post
Will post more tomorrow, but-great Jem'Hadar names!!

Also, I'm not sure the Jem'Hadar would call Vorta "esteemed"- at least not if they weren't there?
Well...the way I look at it, it might be a rule or regulation the Vorta laid down. Doesn't mean Volet'aval or anybody else liked it. (And he SURE doesn't, considering he's pretty much figured out there's a rebellion on the surface and can't get approval to attack!)
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Old June 5 2009, 12:35 PM   #318
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Very well done! To me, the strongest element of your story telling is how you are making these alien cultures--Cardassians, Jem'Hadar, Vortas, etc. well...alien. These are not "humans in rubber suits"--you've created three dimensional alien characters with their own thought processes, cultures, and goals--no mean feat.
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Old June 5 2009, 01:32 PM   #319
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

DavidFalkayn wrote: View Post
Very well done! To me, the strongest element of your story telling is how you are making these alien cultures--Cardassians, Jem'Hadar, Vortas, etc. well...alien. These are not "humans in rubber suits"--you've created three dimensional alien characters with their own thought processes, cultures, and goals--no mean feat.
Seconded.

It makes this story a joy to read.
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Old June 5 2009, 08:23 PM   #320
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Thank you...I'm glad you enjoy it! The alien perspectives--well, mainly the Cardassians--are actually quite relaxing to me because it allows me a freedom I don't have as much of when I write from a Federation one.
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Old June 6 2009, 06:10 PM   #321
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Nerys Ghemor wrote: View Post
Marie1 wrote: View Post
Will post more tomorrow, but-great Jem'Hadar names!!

Also, I'm not sure the Jem'Hadar would call Vorta "esteemed"- at least not if they weren't there?
Well...the way I look at it, it might be a rule or regulation the Vorta laid down. Doesn't mean Volet'aval or anybody else liked it. (And he SURE doesn't, considering he's pretty much figured out there's a rebellion on the surface and can't get approval to attack!)
I just don't remember ever hearing a Jem'Hadar say it, and yours do it often. It's hard to say- the Vorta are... well, the Vorta (which speaks for itself) but then they also have that "we're all slaves to the Founders" thing going on too. It just sometimes surprises me to hear the Jem'Hadar say it.

Good follow up!! I was wondering about all that phaser fire down there, kinda hard to miss! It's good Berat is getting a bit nervous, he's no super hero, and that the plan has realistic hitches and so on, it's not ridiculously simple just because the "good guys" are doing something.
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Old June 6 2009, 07:11 PM   #322
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Part of what's going on...I have this feeling that during the endgame of the war, the Vorta got stricter--especially once the Founder fell ill. They're...jerks. To me, it seems like it would've fit for them to make the Jem'Hadar jump through one more annoying hoop "to remind them who's boss."

And wow, you know what...if Berat knew you well, I think he would've laughed out loud at what you said! He can actually have quite a sense of humor about himself with those with whom he's at ease, and I could just hear him telling me, "Superhero?! Do I LOOK like a superhero?" (Then again, if someone told him about the character of Charles Xavier, he might laugh even harder...because even though his neurological issues are different, he'd get a kick out of the comparison.)

The sensor interference helps with the disruptor flashes...and remember, the Sherouk has done a much better job of fine-tuning than the Jem'Hadar have so far, because they've been planning this in advance.
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Old June 15 2009, 11:01 PM   #323
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Hmm... that's a good point. They're complete asses at the best of times. I couldn't get over Weyoun threatening not to give Ometi'klan and his men their White on time, knowing what it would do to them. Cruel. And I guess if the Vorta demanded it, the Jem'Hadar would do it. It just struck me when I saw it as if the Jem'Hadar had respect for the Vorta, which they really don't, they just obey them. Stupid Vorta.

I think I'll save that one to tell him then! He seems like a pretty good guy in person!

Ahh... yes. And they need that. I can't imagine the Jem'Hadar being above just sending down a torpedo or two, instead of worrying about friendly fire.

Sorry I've been so busy, agreed to do some screenwriting... O.O
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Old June 16 2009, 03:46 AM   #324
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

I think the Jem'Hadar would probably LIKE to do some friendly fire, if that would allow them to take out a Vorta in addition to those they see as traitors. But since their "gods" have ordered them to obey the Vorta even when the Vorta are blindingly stupid and arrogant (which they are most of the time)...they can't without going through channels. Which is why Volet'aval wants to skirt around that issue entirely and find an excuse to blow the four Cardassian warships out of space.
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Old June 21 2009, 02:24 PM   #325
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Keeping me at the edge of my seat, as always...

And hungry for more
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Old June 21 2009, 03:41 PM   #326
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Hey, thanks for reading!

I hope to have a new section soon!
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Old June 26 2009, 05:31 AM   #327
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

OK...long section this time. There may be a delay until the next section is up--but I hope you enjoy it!

==============

2375The Dominion WarThe Battle for the Shipyard
Cardassian Rasgălor of Lessek

Metal glowed and groaned with each disruptor pulse from the JemHadar firing at the door to the shipyards computer core.

Rebek and TRuveh stood between the injured Iymender and the weakening door. Te-Mae-Do took point right at the door, hoping her non-cardasdanoid height and proportions would catch the first few attackers off guard.

Status, Iymender! the lady gul snapped.

Getting thereI just need a few more minutes!

Gul Rebek scrutinized the door with the aid of the hunter arraytemperatures were steadily rising past the tolerance threshold of its duranium lining. Beyond, she spotted a contingent of three JemHadar, five Cardassians. We dont have a few more minutes, Riyăkat this rate, were going to have company in less than one!

The metal began to glow visibly in an ovoid pattern the height of a JemHadar. TRuveh squinted as the glow grew more intense. Rebek, on the other hand, stared every bit as intently as before. This would be a huge test of the adaptiveness of her modified hunter array.

Even with a potentially overwhelming force about to blow through the door, the tinkerer in Rebek grinnedfor just as the blazing light threatened to grew too painful to look at, the array reacted perfectly, selectively dimming the light just barely below the tolerance threshold of Cardassian eyes.

The gul of the Romac raised her rifle.

A metal sheet clanged violently to the floor, propelled by a massive JemHadar boot.

Rebek fired. The JemHadar dropped, a plate-sized hole incinerated from his chest.

And from there it was chaosone after the otherfive more assailants, no time for anything but to react: to shoot and claw and kick and shield, and for Iymenderhopefully, hopefully, to keep up his critical work before someone thought to take a disruptor to his head. Rebek entered the peculiar time dilation of battle; the difference between a minute and an instant so blurred as to be one indistinguishable now, united by the primitive fury of a burning planet deep within her heart:

For Septimusfor all Cardassia: traitors and alien aggressors alike would die by her hand!

She swung her rifle around yet again

Tho seghanare! Cardăsda wordsclear, analogue, no translator distortion: Please! Dont shoot! Hands wavedempty hands, grey hands

Rebek! No! Te-Mae-Do growled in her clipped manner. Allies!

Rebek paused, took stock of the situation. Dust wafted in the light, drifting to the floor like the remnants of a Hăzăkda sandstorm. All three JemHadar lay dead, as did two of the Cardassian intruders. The other three still stood; TRuveh, Te-Mae-Do, and Chedrigan had lowered their weapons.

We have these men to thank for our survival, TRuveh declared.

The senior of the trio, a gor according to his cuirass inscription, bowed. My name is Sholketh; these are Holor and Trivash. And we are no friends of the Dominion.

Rebek, standing down now, bowed her thanks, then turned to issue orders. Iymender is with us; his safety is mission-critical. Hell need to be carried when we move outshattered ankle.

Gor Sholketh nodded. Consider it done, Gul. I should warn you, he added, the Vortas got another batch of JemHadar headed this waythis one without any of us. He suspectsbut I dont think he realizes just how many of us there are. How soon will Riyăk Iymender be done?

Just a couple more Iymender mumbled under his breath in a half-reply. Hmmake that one more... The programmers finger stabbed triumphantly into the screen, so hard Rebek half-feared hed punch through to a plasma conduit. Done!

Well? Rebek prodded. Have we got the ships?

Thirty Hideeki, hopefully explosion-free, awaiting our command!

Rebek rolled her eyes and tried not to think too much on what Iymender meant by hopefully.

Lets move, lets move!

And the chaos descended upon them again.



I hear voices in the conduits, the Andorian hissed, headed this way!

Any signs Speros has attacked? Macet asked.

Difficult to tell, Crewman Burakgazi replied, but hearing much shouting and cursing above, I am. What say you? he asked zhThessel.

I concur, she said.

Macet weighed his optionsand decided. We attack, before our pursuers can warn them. Ill throw the hatcheveryone prepare to fire immediately, weapons on setting two! This setting, while lethal to cardasdanoids, would avoid unnecessary damage to base infrastructure, some of which they might need to free Dalin Zopreg and prep the Hideeki for launch. He pointed at zhThessel. You go first.

The Andorian mumbled an acerbic something under her breathit sounded an awful lot like, Figures.

That did it. He had made all the allowances he could, but that sort of sullen compliance would not do, not when everything could turn on this moment. Drop ittime is short! Macet snapped from pure instinct. We are outnumbered, we need them to hesitate, and you are the most likely to make them do it! Now put your personal problems aside and help us deal with the one at hand!

Macet cast a sidelong glance at the rest of his team. Ador was focused and ready as a Cardassian soldier ought to be under such circumstances, hand already lifted to the hatch. As for Burakgazi, his expression was difficult to read. Does he hold his silence because he wishes to back zhThessel but does not out of deference to my rankor because he sees that I, a Cardassian, am right to overrule his commanding officer? Either way, further disunity could not be toleratednot now. Not when even he was beginning to hear the faint clicks and clangs down the conduit that signaled someones approach.

Oughiruiym! he shouted the instant zhThessel fell into position. Lets go!

Disruptors discharged the instant the Andorians head cleared the opened hatch; judging from the indignant howl, one of zhThessels shots had connectedand the victim was Cardassian. Ador reached over and gave the Andorian a boost as she clambered up into the command center, then leaped through the opening himself.

The rate of disruptor fire was increasing exponentially, erupting from far too many sources and felling far too many to be coming from zhThessel and Ador alone. Theyre rebelling! he realized. Burakgazi was pushing for the opening, but Macet shoved him out of the way. Im going nextgive me a boost!

The Hăzăkda gul crouched, then leaped up and into a symphony of sparks and shouts. Those who stand for Cardassiarally to me! he commanded the instant he rolled onto his feet.

Then he spun on his heel. He saw nothing but he felt it nonetheless, a presence, a whisper of air and bioelectric energy impossibly close. No time to aim: he swung the butt of his rifle in an arc, untilcrack!

The impact snapped one of the disruptor rifles plasteel covers loose, and the force slammed through Macets entire skeleton as though hed lashed out at one of the great stone memorial statues of the capital. The air wavered like a desert mirage and before the JemHadar could fully unshroud and defend himself, Macet reversed his rifle and squeezed the trigger. Heat washed over Macet as the JemHadar and the air around him superheated at point-blank range.

Another set of patina-green scales flew through the air at Macet; he ducked and lashed out with his fist. Here Macets earliest combat training served him by instincthit with the grain of your own scales, against the grain of your opponents. The JemHadars scales were each far larger, and in the hyperawareness of combat he could see each and every one of them, each the size of the rugged macroscales at his templesand much harder and sharper than the tiny microscales of his knuckles. Still, his technique paid off: a few of them peeled free from the JemHadars jaw and stuck down deep into Macets hand.

He had no time to register the pain, for the JemHadar showed little sign of his own. There was no time to draw his pistol, insufficient distance to sweep his rifle forward. Something shined as it flew through the air towards his throatthe dreaded kartakin blade, the symbol of a JemHadars honor and the final sight of many a Dominion victim

his right shoulder slammed hard onto the metal deckplate and the next thing Macet knew, a Cardassian corpse shielded his body, the handle of the kartakin sticking out at the temple just between the hairline and the hook of the eye ridge. The JemHadar lay motionless as well, felled by a well-placed disruptor blast from

Crewman Burakgazi turned from his last target towards a fleeing grey-white blur with the pallor of Upper Rival and fired just as his target shot one last glance behind him with those unnaturally-bright green eyes

The Vorta is dead! Macet snarled. Mrotoc Cardăsa! Cardassia is rising!

The eye ridges of the Cardassian now taking aim at him went wide with fear at that announcement. As well they should be! The guls eidetic memory immediately supplied his identity. Traitor! he shouted, and an instant later, Garhe Vergals head exploded.

And everything fell silent, save the whirring of the heater and the chirping of the computer. The terhăn, Burakgazi, stood with hands on his knees, breathing hard, positively drenched in sweat. It felt a bit warm to Macet after the melee, but far from unbearably soyet for a Cardassian, such symptoms would suggest the young man was hovering dangerously close to heatstroke.

Gulover here! called one of the new rebels. The young garhe was struggling to keep a female glinns hands pinned behind her back. He had seen this womans dossier aboard the Trager months before this day, and recognized her immediately: Glinn Uradnen, the Dominion-appointed systems control officer and commander of the planetside base.

Macet slammed Uradnen against the wall, shoving his disruptor pistol under her chin. At the same time, he began a series of biofeedback exercises all Cardassians learned in primary school to bring even the slightest instinctive signals under his control. With luck, his control would be so exacting that even a trained observer would find it nearly impossible to spot the telltale signs of a lie. The gul had no intention of carrying out any of his threats save onebut Glinn Uradnen could never know.

Where is Dalin Zopreg? he demanded with a low, menacing growl. I am warning you, traitoryou are already dead, but if you hesitate for even one more second, I will make sure all of Cardassia knows your name and your actions. I will taint your entire family with your infamythey will live forever under the eye of the Intelligence Bureau thanks to their association with you. And true Cardassians everywhere will shun them. You saw what happened to your precious Dukat when the word got out about his illegitimate childyour treason is far greater than that. Do you care to risk their well-being?

Uradnen smirked even at gunpoint. Macet wondered if shed seen it in his eyes somehow, that he held no malice for the half-Bajoran child Dukat had sired, that he only wore his cousins snide savagery like an ill-fitting mask. Nice threat, Gulbut I think youre a little short on the means to carry it out.

You forget, Macet hissed, I have my patience, and that is my greatest resource of all. Make no mistakeI will outlast your Dominion. And as a condemned woman, do you really want to take a chance on what I will do when the opportunity comes to make good on my threat? On the other handif you tell me what I need to know, I will see to your family. You, of course, will pay for your crimes against Cardassia, but I shall tell them quite a different story. Your husband and children will hear instead of a woman who and died a hero of the Cardassian people. What story shall I tell, Uradnen? Where is Zopreg?

Hesunder guard in the conference room. The JemHadarwere holding him until I could schedule the trial and execution.

How many?

Five.

Very good, Uradnen. Youll come with usI expect your utmost assistance in clearing any and every obstacle we encounter or I will consider it a violation of our understanding and act accordingly.

The subdued glinn responded with only a nod.

Suddenly a gold disruptor beam erupted from underneath a console towards Macetand wobbled in an almost inebriated manner away from him and into the wall behind him. One of the aggressors former colleagues reached around Macet and fired back at maximumvaporizing the chairand a decidedly obese figure behind it.

The young gor smirked. Thats for Sorabec, ghentregămst!

Macet unhanded Uradnen, but kept his disruptor pistol trained squarely on her. Uradnenyou will release the lockouts on the conference room. Without alerting the JemHadar. Macet paused. It was getting awfully loud in the corridor outside the command center. And Adorgo see what all the noise is about!

Ador lifted his rifle into the ready position and crept towards the double doors separating the command center from the rest of the base. About one terhăn meter away, body angled to expose the smallest profile towards the oncoming forces, he stretched the tips of his grey fingers towards the keypad.

And found himself staring at the business end of a disruptor rifle.
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Old June 26 2009, 08:28 PM   #328
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Oh, crap! this little party may be coming to an end! Exciting scene, Nerys! Very exciting!
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Old June 27 2009, 01:18 AM   #329
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

Mistral wrote: View Post
Oh, crap! this little party may be coming to an end! Exciting scene, Nerys! Very exciting!
Thank you SO much for reading!
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Old June 30 2009, 06:06 PM   #330
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Re: Star Trek: Sigils and Unions--The Thirteenth Order

This has got to be one of my favorite scenes in this FanFic, the collaborationist scum getting their just desserts.

I particularly loved Macet's attempt to channel his cousin, thank Oralius that he cannot pull it of successfully...

Also this line I love:

For Septimusfor all Cardassia: traitors and alien aggressors alike would die by her hand!
All to true.

I'll have some more thoughts later once I've had a bit of a reread.
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