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Old August 30 2008, 08:27 PM   #1
DarKush
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Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

Sorry, but I'm having trouble formatting the story for the board.
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Old August 31 2008, 10:42 PM   #2
DarKush
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

Here is a link to the story on the United Trek board. Thanks again DF for posting it. Also, after reading I would love to hear your comments.

http://unitedtrek.org/Dark%20Territory/pride_goeth.htm
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Old August 31 2008, 11:48 PM   #3
CeJay
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

Wow, great action-packed adventure. A real thrill ride from start to finish.

I particularly liked the dymanic between Glover and Meera. While the action is great, those little insights into Glover's character are priceless and often times hilarious.

It was also intersting to see once again the intricacies of the Klingons, and the ongoing clashes between the smooth foreheads versus the ridged-ones. Maybe this episode helps to explain why we don't see many smooth-headed Klingons anymore.

I also liked that apparently there are a few honorable Klingons left in the empire. At least there once were, before their shameful escapades on a backwater planet near the Gorn border.

Great story!
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Old September 1 2008, 11:13 PM   #4
Dnoth
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

Very nice. I really liked the insights into Kojo and Lorath. It helps with "For the Empire." The behavior of the Klingons was also a nicely done!
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Old September 1 2008, 11:33 PM   #5
DavidFalkayn
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

This was an incredibly powerful story that captures the best and worst of the Klingons in one package.
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Old September 1 2008, 11:54 PM   #6
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

VERY nice battle writing, and like Dnoth, I appreciated the insight into Kojo. Man, I would not want to cross her--that bit with her licking the blood spatter off of her lips really drove the point home.

As a side note, I also liked what you said about Terrence, that he would've been interested in raising the child that his girlfriend terminated without asking. I think a lot of people have nothing but the "deadbeat dad" image of men, and it's good to see someone with the opposite view.
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Old September 2 2008, 01:31 AM   #7
Gibraltar
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

DarKush, that was phenomenal! It's a terrific character study of Glover as a man and a leader, and gives us some wonderful insights into Kojo as well as introducing us to some other stalwart Starfleet captains in a harrowing last stand against the Klingons. Plenty of nail-biting action, both mano-a-mano and ship-to-ship.

The Klingons here are a complex lot, some honorable, some not, some brave, some not, and not a dull one among them.

Once again I'm struck by how many layers Terrence Glover has, and how despite his ego and bluster (which he always backs-up with actions) he's really a sensitive person with a more fragile sense of self than most would believe.

Very nicely done.
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Old September 2 2008, 11:04 PM   #8
TheLoneRedshirt
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

A terrific story! Drama, amazing battle sequences, and great characters! I must say this ranks with your best!

Outstanding!
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Old September 3 2008, 12:47 AM   #9
DarKush
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

Gee,

Thanks so much guys. This story was really hard for me to write, especially the battle scenes. I didn't know if I did a good job with it. But from your reactions I guess I did.

The story itself really started out as a way to do an extended type prologue for the joint story I wanted to do with Hyperion set during the Klingon war but it took a life of its own. I'm really glad you all enjoyed it.

Nerys,

I'm not sure how familiar you are with my stories, but the part about Glover's child was an allusion to events that took place in "The Crucible", a story that is also posted at unitedtrek.org.

Dnoth,

Glad I could help with Lorath and Kojo, but I think you are doing a bang up job without this story.
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Old September 3 2008, 06:34 AM   #10
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: Dark Territory: Pride Goeth...

I know the feeling of doubting oneself in writing battle scenes. But trust me, you did great!

I am very new to all of your stories--in fact, this is the first one of yours I've tackled so far. Thanks for the info!
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