This is so crazy. So years ago I wrote the video game "Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force". It was one of my favorite video game development experiences (and I've been a lifelong Trek fan, so it was a dream come true). I've been disappointed that 10 years has passed without a new Trek series, so last year I wrote a series pitch and pilot script for a new Star Trek TV series. I named it "Star Trek Beyond", and bought the website: www.StarTrekBeyond.com If you go there right now, you can see my series pitch and read my pilot script. I sent it around to some industry insiders, but didn't get far - you have to know just the right people to get heard. Then suddenly, Wednesday, my site started getting tons of hits! I went online to see what was up and saw this news. What are the odds? I have a blog post up on my site explaining how I chose that title out of the hundred titles I wrote down. Captain's Blog Kinda cool to think that someone involved in the movie had the same thought process. For the record, I like the name (obviously)... Mike Gummelt
No they won't buy it, they will simply take it. They can do this because it has it has the trademarked name "Star Trek" in the title. I have seen them take StarTrekxxxx.com names before (for instance startrekmovie.com uses to be owned by a fan and they just took the name). This is why many sites just have 'trek' in it (like trekbbs, trekunited, trekcore, trekmove, trekweb etc..), to prevent CBS from taking the name. BTW, if Beyond is to be the new title, can put a banner on your promoting Star Trek Renegades
Good point. If there's a reference to a letter suffix, that's probably left over from when the series was to take place 100 years after Voyager...
Interesting. Good thing my website is named Start Rek Beyond! They have yet to contact me. If the new name is more than a rumor, I wouldn't be surprised if they do contact me at some point.
I like your site layout, it's nice and clean while still having personality. Also, I sincerely hope the big guys don't just come along and take it from you. It looks like you've worked very hard on it. Also, I'll read your script and let you know on your feedback poll.
Not to be a wet blanket, but even if the powers that be were inclined to look at a proposal like yours (they generally aren't), the material—at least as presented on your website—isn't what they'd be looking for. There's not a compelling "elevator pitch" in there. It reads more like a mission statement than a cohesive pitch. The thing a lot of people don't realize is that "Hollywood" doesn't buy ideas. They might buy an original screenplay or the rights to a book, but where series go they "buy" a "package" which includes someone with a track record they can point to, especially when the show in question is something for which they already own the I.P. They can hire any number of showrunners with track records and ask them to come up with some new spin on the franchise, and then it's work for hire and contractually unambiguous.
Thans, I'd love more feedback on it. I know it's not perfect, I might take another swing at it (what's there is maybe the 8th draft I think? Hard to recall because I lettered the drafts instead of numbering them - like Enterprises... Heh)
Oh, I know. I've talked to enough industry insiders to know how things like this generally work. It's very insular. I don't really expect them to buy the idea or let me pitch it. I'm not a show runner or a producer or even a TV writer. I know they would never even look at someone from outside the industry for something like this. It's be a miracle to even get hired as a writer on whatever show they do make (though I'd love to do that). But it's an idea that's been gestating in my head for 20 years (when they announced a new series would come after TNG) and I needed to get it out. And I honestly feel like a new series is needed. And that the 50th anniversary is the perfect time for a new series, especially one that takes it in a new direction. Really, I'd just be happy if fans started talking openly about a new series and what it *should* be, and maybe the powers that be would listen to the fans. That was my real goal with this - to start a conversation among fans and let Paramount/CBS/Bad Robot know that there is an absolute hunger for a new Trek series out there, and to let them know what fans expect from it. The worst thing would be for them to let this milestone pass with no new series. The second worst thing would be for them to shovel out some rushed, budget 26-episode-a-season formulaic show and expect it to succeed with modern audiences.
Oh, and while I did write up the whole concept as a full series bible (with a pilot script and several episode scripts, a 7 season plot arc and detailed character arcs), I believe you could summarize it in a pitch. "The Milky Way is united at last and must work together to voyage beyond the final frontier, answering the mysterious call to explore the Andromeda Galaxy - to seek out truly alien new life and unprecedented strange new worlds."
Kudos to you, sir. I've read the postmortem for EF on Gamasutra, good stuff. Definitely one of the most successful games with that license.
That's the pitch for the series, the pilot would have its own, more specific pitch. Taken from a site about story development: "Here’s an example from Star Trek: The Next Generation. First, we need a logline for the show itself. It’s a Continuing Adventures series, so we’ll keep it generic to include a multitude of potential storylines. Star Trek: The Next Generation: The adventures of the crew of a starship as they explore the far reaches of the universe. Next, we’ll write a logline for the two-part episode Time’s Arrow. Remember, because we’ve already created a logline for the series, we can use character names in the episode loglines. Time’s Arrow: When the crew of the Enterprise discovers an ancient version of Data’s head buried in the past, they uncover and must stop an alien plot to infiltrate the 19th century." On second thought, maybe mine is a bit too backstory-focused. Maybe something more like: "Star Trek a Beyond: The voyages of the starship Enterprise, exploring the new frontier in the Andromeda Galaxy."
Thank you! I loved working on that game. I created the non-show characters, wrote the dialogue, co-developed the scripting language used for creating all the scripted events, story boarded and implemented several of the cinematics - pretty much all of the introductory ones up to and just after the main credits, and I wrote the NPC, squad and combat AI. My other favorite projects were Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy. I got to program the light saber combat, force powers and Jedi/Reborn AI and multiplayer combat. Another dream come true!
It's still not a pitch because it doesn't say what the show is about. A pitch is, "It's wagon train to the stars. A weekly series with a cast of recurring regular characters, set aboard a huge space vessel where guest characters and their stories can appear as needed to propel action adventure stories about the human condition into which our characters can become involved." Or, "It's about a spaceship crew stranded at the edge of nowhere, struggling against limited resources and each other as they to find a way home, and who must constantly test their own values against the situations and civilizations they meet." There's a clear distinction between those and what you wrote. And, to be frank, there's no functional narrative difference between exploring this Galaxy and that Galaxy: it's yet another ship and another crew doing the TOS premise but with the nouns changed.
I believe you and I are debating different things. You're describing a pitch for selling a show to a producer. I'm writing a logline for getting a viewer to watch it. In either case, my goal wasn't to write an "elevator pitch". I'm not in Hollywood, I'm not riding on elevators with producers. I have no expectation of getting a pitch meeting or selling the idea. Getting into this theoretical minutae is diverting from the point of the proposal. As I state on my blog on the site, my goal is to start a conversation among the fan community. A loud, public discussion that expresses how much desire there is for a new Star Trek series, and what we would expect from it in terms of modernity, diversity and quality. There are thousands of ideas for new Trek shows out there, and Trek fans are a passionate bunch. They're not all going to agree on one. But if major sci-if blogs start talking about a new series and when/if it will happen, and what it should look like, maybe Paramout, CBS/Viacom and Bad Robot will hear it, and maybe they will listen. I'm certain they have many ideas they've discussed. Perhaps they're going with Orci's idea of rebooting TNG in the JJ Trek universe. I don't know. But I do think the fans should speak up and be heard. And *that* is the point of the proposal.
You just described TNG. Are you saying there was no point in making that show because it was just like TOS? To declare that would be a failure of imagination. The question of "Why Andromeda" was actually the subject of my most recent blog post on my Captain's Blog on the site. I'll copy it here: WHY ANDROMEDA? Now that the website (and thus, the concept itself) is getting a lot more attention, I've had fellow fans asking some excellent questions (and making some great suggestions) that I plan to address in blog posts. I love insightful questions that make me think about my choices. They help a writer really think about the creative decisions they've made and helps them identify what their story is really about. What are the central themes? One of the best questions asked by a few people was "Why Andromeda? There's more than enough space/stars in the The Milky Way." This is absolutely right, of course. There are trillions of stars in the Milky Way and potentially billions of life-bearing planets. More than the Federation could likely visit in its entire existence. Certainly more than any number of Star Trek series could depict. But in all the various Star Trek series, we've already visited every quadrant and made the Galaxy feel small. I felt like it would be best to not pretend that' the mystery hasn't been lost from the Milky Way. Realism aside, Star Trek has made the Milky Way too familiar and boring through over-exposure. Humanoids with bumpy heads populate every single quadrant. Now, at first, the idea of sending the Enterprise to another galaxy may seem like a lazy, reflexive choice. Unoriginal, even. But I put a good amount of thought into it and there are a lot of story and character related benefits to doing this. The benefits you get from exploring a new galaxy are: Higher Concept It's a catchier hook - a "high concept". You can advertise/sell the show easier if you say: "The Enterprise begins a new age of exploration in a brand new, unknown galaxy - Andromeda!" than if you say: "Starfleet explores a backwater of the Delta Quadrant that Voyager missed." It's about the concept of frontierism and exploration, not strict realism. Reflecting Today's World You get to use the conceit of combining all the resources of a Galaxy (The Milky Way) on a grand endeavor - a mission of exploration and discovery. It forces disparate cultures to work together, through tensions and competing values and objectives. It reflects our modern world where we find ourselves intrinsically tied to other nations, economically interdependent. The US has to work with China and Russia; and the European Union struggles to hold itself together. This lets Trek be more reflective of the modern political climate. This gives the show great potential for drama and intrigue that the modern audience can identify with. Like Russia invading the Ukraine - perhaps it's the Romulans taking back a Federation planet they say was theirs originally - are the Romulans returning to their aggressive ways? Would we turn on them and risk war, or negotiate? Or Greece's bankruptcy threatening the cohesion of the EU. What if Andorria was disastrously poor and the Tellerites, Ferengi and Vulcans didn't want to help them. Would the Federation crumble? Or the Arab Spring/rise of Islamic extremism. What if a Klingon revolution led to the fall of the Empire, then a violent Klingon cult tried to fill that vacuum and started taking over worlds, causing chaos in the galaxy? Diversity and Mystery You get a fresh start in a new Galaxy. You can get away from the budget-driven conceit of every alien having to be humanoid (so much so that they had to make the episode "The Chase" to explain how all the Humanoid species were related and seeded here). Yet, because we still have all the old Milky Way species, we can continue to use them on the show, too. But they're not the aliens anymore, they're us, in all our wonderful variety. It makes our surrogates more diverse (reflecting our own modern diversity). One of the best decisions TNG made was to add Worf. To take a species that had been the "other", one-dimensional aggressive enemies, and make them "us". By making Worf a protagonist, we got to see the depth of the Klingon psyche and come to understand them. We came to see how they are really a part of us. The Klingons became the Vulcans of TNG. By letting us use all of the Milky Way species as "us" in Star Trek Beyond, it adds diversity to our own self-image (something I try to reflect in the makeup of the crew). This also allows us to have true mystery in Andromeda. We can go back to the feeling of not knowing what to expect each episode when they arrive at a new planet. With the format of the series being more akin to a "Game of Thrones" or other premium cable series (10-13 higher budget episodes a season), the old limitations on imagination and science could be erased, allowing the aliens to be *truly* alien. The Return of Frontierism We get to see a real frontier story, more like TOS. In my series arc, the Enterprise is the first ship in Andromeda, but this is not Voyager. During the course of season 1, Starbase A-1 is being constructed, and by the end of the first season, 2 more ships will join the Enterprise (including one captained by a descendant of Kirk who feels like the Enterprise should have been her ship). Why Andromeda? Choosing to explore Andromeda wasn't something I just did because it seemed more dramatic. I did it because I felt like it could take Trek in a new direction, let it grow, let it build off of what came before, and let it recapture some of its original "wagon train to the stars" spirit.
TNG is functionally Star Trek with some tweaks, and that was what Gene and Co. pitched when approached by Paramount to make such a show. But that's a pitch from industry folks, and the creator of the thing, not an outsider with no experience, like you. In the OP you wrote "I sent it around to some industry insiders, but didn't get far - you have to know just the right people to get heard." THAT was what I was addressing. Move the goalposts all you want.