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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old July 27 2014, 02:13 AM   #1
Lead-Nosed Reindeer
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TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

Hello everyone! I got a contest started on saturday for once!




First up to the plate, we have the "Wish he'd waited until Picard stepped into the ready room to say that..." Award, going to:

JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


DATA. Inquiry. 'Cueball'.
Next, we have the "Shameless exploitation of LeadHead's love of all things Zoidberg" Award, going to:

shivkala wrote: View Post


Troi: Doctor Crusher, here's our Talarian guest. He'll be needing a physical.
Crusher: Excellent, excellent.
Troi: You'll be fine.
Crusher: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain. *Jono opens his mouth* No, no no no, not that mouth.
Jono: I only have one.
Crusher: Really? *looks at tricorder*
Jono: Umm, is there a Talarian doctor around?
Crusher: Young lady, I am an expert on Talarians. Now pick a mouth, open it, and say, "plplplplpplpl."
Jono: Um, ahem, "lblblblblblb."
Crusher: What? My mother was a saint! GET OUT!
Next, we have the "So much for keeping that under wraps" award, going to:

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Riker: "Data was just telling us how he saw Premier Bhavani sneaking out of you quarters early this morning."
Picard: "Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse."
Next, we have the "Alternative medicine" Award, going to:

Smellincoffee wrote: View Post

Crusher: What do you mean, kissing to make it feel better doesn't work? Every time Jean-Luc gets a headache --
Next, we have the "Not just a great listener" Award, going to:

Velocity wrote: View Post


Picard: Whoah, Guinan I'm glad to see YOU too!
Something happened in this contest that made me particularly happy, we had a running gag! That doesn't happen very often and it's great to see this community of funny people collaborate and create great comedy together, so our running gag awards goes to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you Captain Picard's results from his mind meld with Sarek.
Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you that for some people, sex every seven years is an improvement.
Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post


Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.
Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.
Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Armored Saint wrote: View Post



Finn wrote: View Post


First Officer's Log: Don't hit on Lursa in Ten Forward


inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


McFadden: So let me tell you about Maurice Hurley...
Many thanks to all who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!











Enjoy!
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Old July 27 2014, 02:18 AM   #2
Lead-Nosed Reindeer
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Picard tried to initate negotiations by sending everyone to their corners, as it turned out, all it did was start staring contests.



Worf: That mosquito is without honor!



Patrick Stewart: Now, according to the art department, this ship will appear several times over the various series, sometimes appearing to be enormous and other times as a smaller scouting vessel. Place your bets on which it ill be this week, 3 to 1 odds on enormous.



Tactical Officer: So is she the one who "was incapable of commitment?"



Scream: The Next Generation.
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Old July 27 2014, 02:31 AM   #3
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities


Picard: ``Go fish.''



Worf finally handles that flickering overhead fluorescent bulb!



Picard: ``And now this is the prototype sketch for the, uhm, Chompers that we're putting in the, erm, Jefferies tubes because they, uh, do this important work of … uh … well, it's very technical and it made sense when I heard the presentation so let's get on that now, shall we?''



Man, I count six pairs of people doing classic ``We totally didn't boink last night'' poses.



Old Riker: ``Oh, those were happy days, back when I still had my prize Large Shiny Ball on a Glass Shelf.''
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Old July 27 2014, 02:38 AM   #4
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities


Picard: So, where do poop? ... There is a spot, right? ... Fellas?
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Old July 27 2014, 03:14 AM   #5
Finngle Bells
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

Thanks for the log entry win



Data: I do not understand. It is still regulations…

Worf: Picard told us to stop using the skant. Besides, it's too short for you….Sir



Picard…And do you know what ship this is, right?

Riker: Of course! It's Kirk's Enterprise. The one where he went back to 1986 Chicago.

Picard: *sigh* Computer….Coffee…the Janeway blend. It's gonna be a long night with this one




Stardate 68566.8

Deanna: Wil…why are you up at this late hour?

Wil: *chuckles* It's from the old days on the D. That's the time when Wesley tried to pull a prank. Fortunately, it was the year we had Pulaski. We sure could get away with smacking him around.

Deanna: Why are you in the old uniform

Wil: I gained back some old pounds. I found this thing from 20 years ago.
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Old July 27 2014, 03:15 AM   #6
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

TFTW, LeadHead!



Esoqq: "A live-action version of 'Hungry Hungry Hippos,' you say? This could be interesting!"




Tactical Officer (snippy): "What's she got that I haven't got!"
Worf: "Ridges! Ridges where you wouldn't believe!"
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Old July 27 2014, 03:26 AM   #7
JirinPanthosa
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Picard regretted signing up for Andorian speed dating.



WORF: Now that I think about it, Data can completely take over the ship whenever he wants.
DATA: Mister Worf, this is your annual performance review.



PICARD: Brilliant. This is sure to win the 'Least efficiently designed shuttlecraft' contest. Inefficient use of space, wasteful mass, huge vulnerable surface area. And it looks extremely unmaneuverable.
RIKER: Umm, I was going to propose this to Starfleet as a new shuttle design.



K'ELYHR: Who dat ho?



Captain Riker relives his fond memories of killing children during the Purge.
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Old July 27 2014, 03:30 AM   #8
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

Thanks for the win.


Picard: The station's defenses are designed toward large-scale assaults against capital ships, so my idea is to take a small fighter in, down a trench in the superstructure, and fire into a small exhaust port --


Riker: TURN AROUND, FOR GODS' SAKE, MAN! HE's RIGHT BEHIND YOU!


"Shouldn't we be CLOSER for a staring contest?"


Brent Spiner: It's just pinkeye, Dorn.
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Old July 27 2014, 03:35 AM   #9
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



ANNOUNCER: Last time on Big Brother...



K'EHLEYR: Hey human petaQ! His eyes are up there!!!!



DATA: Remind me why you are Security Chief, again?
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Old July 27 2014, 09:59 AM   #10
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Jean Luc Picard:

"From the shape of the doorway we can surmise that our hosts are very tall, and very thin."

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Old July 27 2014, 10:12 AM   #11
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Ceiling cat is watching you contemplate.
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Old July 27 2014, 11:56 AM   #12
Finngle Bells
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Genie: (OS) The ComicCon's over! Get out of that uniform and come to bed. It doesn't even fit.

Jonathan: I miss smacking the Wheaton boy around
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Old July 27 2014, 05:51 PM   #13
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

T4TRGW, LeadHead! Woo hoo!



Picard: They give us food, which Esoqq can't eat, to make him a threat. They give us a door we can't open - until the four of us cooperate. They give us a pole and a young hottie working her way through the Academy - but no folding money -

Mitena Haro: Sir, I will exotic dance for free...

Picard: Quiet, I'm speechifying!




Data: So you won an interior decorating championship in a parallel universe - let it go Worf!
Worf: Beige, orange, silver and teal! And I thought Romulans violated the Neutral Zone!




Picard: So the working toilet will be introduced on this experimental class of spacecraft.
Riker: It is outside the ship. Beside the plasma intake jets.
Picard: There will be a seat belt.
Riker: There's no coriolis effect in space!
Picard: Oh cluck cluck cluck Number One.




Ensign: Thank you for helping me load your long torpedo into my torpedo tube during our red alert mission last night, Commander. You really know how to divert hot plasma to all my ports.

Worf: Quiet, my wife may start to suspect.

K'Ehleyr: So that's the "Stinknuts Maneuver".... Make it so, Number One!




Riker: I take back everything I ever said about Wesley Crusher's fashion sense.
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Old July 27 2014, 06:33 PM   #14
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities



Picard: "This...this is not the Enterprise."
Riker: "Okuda is on vacation this week."
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Old July 27 2014, 07:58 PM   #15
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Re: TNG Caption This! #370: Realities

TFTW


TACTICAL: It's a bit cold there...is it between you and the Ambassador?
K'EHLEYR: Armored Saint, stop watching her tits, you pig!


RIKER: I can't tell what's the ugliest: that schematic or this version of your casual uniform.


FRAKES: So funny, like Riker would watch this when he could instead see how he conceived the kid.


WORF: WOA! YA YA KA¤!
DUDE: WO WO WO WO AH!
GIRL: BANZA¤!
DATA: Lieutenant Worf, I can not see the honor of you and your team acting like characters from cheap ninja movies.
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