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Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old July 27 2014, 04:08 PM   #1
The Illusive Man
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TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption

Hello everyone! New Contest!




First up to the plate, we have the "Scientific readings" Award, going to:

Maurice wrote: View Post


BONES: I'm afraid you're registering 8 on the Cooties scale, Jim.
JIM: How high does the scale go?
BONES: 5.
Next, we have the "Official Starfleet Business" Award, going to:

BoredShipCapt'n wrote: View Post


Bones: "Spock, are you sure we look like Old Western bandits?"

Spock: "The quartermaster was out of bandanas. These will have to serve."
Next, we have the "Proper Storage" Award, going to:

Mistral wrote: View Post


Bones: "Well, we lost another one. Throw him into Cargo Bay 2 with the rest."
Next, we have the "Now what punishment shall be done?" Award, going to:

Armored Saint wrote: View Post

BONES: We were right Jim, it was Mudd who stole your mojo.
Next, we have the "You've got to believe me, Nyota!" Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Kirk: There! You see that? The "There's something out on the nacelle" light just blinked!
Uhura: I didn't see anything, captain.
Our photoshop award, goes to:

2takesfrakes wrote: View Post


"Alright, Jim. You asked me what device is used for a Colonoscopy, remember? Well ... here it is! It's not fully-extended, of course. It'll do that, once it's inserted. But don't worry, we'll use plenty of lube. So, let's get this over with, then. Drop your pants and bend over ..."


Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post


Uhura: Sir, these lights keep blinking out of sequence.

Kirk: I see...

Uhura: What shall we do about it, sir?

Kirk: Get them to blink IN sequence.
Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, we begin a new contest!











Enjoy!
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Old July 27 2014, 04:15 PM   #2
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Shatner: Okay, okay! I'll do a "Quit Smoking" PSA! Just stop letting the paramount execs in here at Cigar Time!



Kirk: That's a beautiful, tiny bird. So Majestic, so wondrous.

McCoy: That's a huge bird. So.....

Spock: The word you were looking for Doctor, was hungry.



Kirk: Spock, on a planet run by a sentient computer that makes the inhabitants call it a god, NEVER SAY "May God strike me down!"



Spock: We are cut off from the ship and running quite low on Redshirts, Mister Chekov. You will have to take on more dangerous assignments.



Kirk: Are you sure it's a good idea to inject Spock with a hallucinogen?

McCoy: No, but it'll be entertaining!
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Old July 27 2014, 05:12 PM   #3
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Kirk: "Relax, Spock! It's just a damp, misty fog."
Spock: "I remind you, Captain, we are wearing velour!"




Kirk: "This reminds me...I have a notice I need to pin on the rec room bulletin board."
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Old July 27 2014, 05:18 PM   #4
HarryM
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



KIRK: Chapel's Plomeek soup again, Spock?
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Old July 27 2014, 06:53 PM   #5
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Captain Kirk: "Have you considered a name for this new world yet, Spock?"

Mr. Spock: "Yes sir. Considering the atmospheric composition, the odor of the surrounding environment, and the fact I have a huge case of the 'munchies'; I believe a suitable designation for this planet would be, 'Cannabis 4-20.' "
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Old July 27 2014, 07:01 PM   #6
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption


Kirk: ``Gah, look at this print, so muddy, so faded, you can hardly see a thing. I hope they get around to remastering this scene soon --- ''


Kirk: ``Oh! That's just about perfect! Good job, Paramount.''
McCoy: ``Yeah, and now we're gonna have to buy this episode again? Great.''



Kirk: ``I just want to know, why am I holding a purple-tipped magician's wand along with my dead crewman?''



Kirk: ``Keep ignoring Dr Bashir over there, Chekov, Spock. He just wants attention.''
Redshirt: ``I'm not Dr Bashir!''
Kirk: ``That's just what he wants us to think.''



McCoy: ``Stupid thorns. Do they know how hard it is to inflate a Vulcan back up to 45 psi with only a hand pump?''
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Old July 27 2014, 07:18 PM   #7
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption

LeadHead wrote: View Post
Next, we have the "Now what punishment shall be done?" Award, going to:
YEAH!




KIRK: What the hell Chekov's doing?
LANDON: He wanted to show me his interpretation of that Russian legend called Tarzan.


KIRK: Why Gene, why did you make me roast my best fried?
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Old July 27 2014, 08:04 PM   #8
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



SPOCK: Are you certain that is Apollo, again?
KIRK: Mr. Spock, I never forget an "upskirt"!




KIRK: *cough* Okay, I guess Apollo does quality as a "gas giant".




KIRK: Chapel always said Spock was "smokin' hot" but I didn't think she meant it literally.




KIRK: Sorry, Ensign, you'll have repeat that report. I couldn't hear you over Lieutenant Mouth Breather there.




KIRK: Dammit, this "Pinterest" things has gotten out of control!
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Old July 27 2014, 11:08 PM   #9
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Shatner
"What kind of aircraft is that Leonard?"
Nimoy "I believe it a NSA surveillance drone Bill."
Kelley (thinking) **Damn, did I forget to file that IRS tax extension request last month?**



KIRK: "I've said it before, but this time I mean it ..."
Spock: "No more burrito Fridays Captain?"

LeadHead wrote: View Post


Spock: We are cut off from the ship and running quite low on Redshirts, Mister Chekov. You will have to take on more dangerous assignments.
Chekov unobtrusively pulls his phaser.

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Old July 27 2014, 11:16 PM   #10
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Lieutenant: "Sir. Permission to shoot myself in the head and get it over with."
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Old July 28 2014, 12:17 AM   #11
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



Kirk: Lieutenant Redshirt, it a given that you're going to die. I'm giving you a choice of poison, lightning bolt, explosives, major head trama ..."

Lieutenant Redshirt: "If I have a choice in the matter sir, I'd like Yeoman Landon to fuck me to death."

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Old July 28 2014, 12:29 AM   #12
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



SHATNER: Who the Hell put my bike up there?!
KELLEY: <whistles>
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Old July 28 2014, 12:56 AM   #13
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption


KIRK: Why Gene, why did you make me roast my best fried?[/QUOTE]

Underlined officially nominated as best misquote for this round.
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Old July 28 2014, 12:57 AM   #14
1001001
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption



"Dude! Where's My Starship??"





Or alternately...



"Captain, I do not believe Starfleet would approve of using the Enterprise to follow the Grateful Dead Tour..."
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Old July 28 2014, 01:04 AM   #15
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #288: The Caption

... Thanks for The Win!



"Hello strange visitors, this is Vaal, speaking. My "children" use latrines, to do their business. Urinating outdoors is very unsanitary and against our customs. What if someone wanted to sit by that tree and gaze up at the clouds - only to end up sitting in your foul reek?! You know who you are ... That's right: I saw you!"
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