RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 147,065
Posts: 5,804,261
Members: 26,066
Currently online: 572
Newest member: Captain_Kenny

TrekToday headlines

Retro Review: Learning Curve
By: Michelle on Jul 31

Star Trek: The Exhibition In Washington State
By: T'Bonz on Jul 31

August-September 2015 Trek Conventions And Appearances
By: T'Bonz on Jul 31

Shatner To Pen Book On Nimoy
By: T'Bonz on Jul 31

Star Trek Beyond Building Continues
By: T'Bonz on Jul 31

Trinneer In Western Horror
By: T'Bonz on Jul 30

Beam Me Up Scotty Figurines
By: T'Bonz on Jul 30

UK Auction To Feature Spock Costume
By: T'Bonz on Jul 30

Pine To Star In Wonder Woman
By: T'Bonz on Jul 29

Pegg Teases Elba Character
By: T'Bonz on Jul 29


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Fandom > Fan Productions

Fan Productions Creating our own Trek canon!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old July 5 2014, 09:03 AM   #1
Phantassm
Vice Admiral
 
Phantassm's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma City
STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Greetings all,
our first vignette, and introduction story is now online for your viewing pleasure. Let us know what you all think please and thank you for watching. The film can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iLN...ature=youtu.be
__________________
"To Boldly Go!"
Phantassm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 03:08 PM   #2
USS Intrepid
Commodore
 
USS Intrepid's Avatar
 
Location: Dundee, Scotland, UK
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Just watched it. Well done to all on a fine first episode.
__________________
Star Trek: Intrepid
USS Intrepid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 03:15 PM   #3
DCR
Commander
 
Location: Wentworth Hall, Tellus of Sol
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Congratulations! I just watched and enjoyed it.

I do have a few things I'd like to point out, but I'll save them for later and just reiterate that it was a very good first effort.

Big kudos to Starship Valiant and Starbase Studios.
DCR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 05:36 PM   #4
Barbreader
Fleet Captain
 
Location: New York, New York
View Barbreader's Twitter Profile
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

I thought the acting was two step above most Fan Trek. Really enjoyed it.
Barbreader is online now   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 05:59 PM   #5
Sir Rhosis
Commodore
 
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Well done, indeed. Congratulations Michael and crew. Look forward to more.

Sir Rhosis
Sir Rhosis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 07:03 PM   #6
Borgminister
Moderator
 
Location: California
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Very well done!

Observations:

- I thought the camera lingered just a bit too long on the captain in the pensive scenes,

- Nice acting by all, with special mention of the first office at the end, who might make a good Vulcan... very regal and photogenic.

- Leading man, and I say this as an overweight American, the high quality of this effort must be accompanied by a bit of weight loss for the overall effect to sustain itself going forward.
Borgminister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 07:08 PM   #7
Phantassm
Vice Admiral
 
Phantassm's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma City
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Borgminister wrote: View Post
Very well done!

Observations:

- I thought the camera lingered just a bit too long on the captain in the pensive scenes,

- Nice acting by all, with special mention of the first office at the end, who might make a good Vulcan... very regal and photogenic.

- Leading man, and I say this as an overweight American, the high quality of this effort must be accompanied by a bit of weight loss for the overall effect to sustain itself going forward.
Thank you for the critique and yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds and worked really hard to take off the weight during the production. I am now even smaller than I was at the time we filmed. By the time we film the second episode, I'll be in top form. Thank you so much for watching and the kind words. We appreciate all our fellow trek fans.
__________________
"To Boldly Go!"
Phantassm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 5 2014, 11:54 PM   #8
DCR
Commander
 
Location: Wentworth Hall, Tellus of Sol
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Okay, to add a little more, and please take this as constructive.

When Jackson was walking around the bridge, I noticed a wire coming from his back pocket, perhaps for a microphone. It's just something to be aware of in future.

I liked the story, but I think the script could have used more work. I thought the dialogue was overwritten. It's something I've seen in a number of other fan films, and many of them took it much further, but I wanted to point it out.

I don't know how else to put it, but there were places where the dialogue sounded more like written English spoken aloud than spoken English, if you follow the distinction. I'd also approach the dialogue for the next script by looking for every word that could be taken out, particularly anything in the way of repetition or reinforcement.

Really enjoyed it, and I'm looking forward to the next one.
DCR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 12:03 AM   #9
Phantassm
Vice Admiral
 
Phantassm's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma City
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

DCR wrote: View Post
Okay, to add a little more, and please take this as constructive.

When Jackson was walking around the bridge, I noticed a wire coming from his back pocket, perhaps for a microphone. It's just something to be aware of in future.

I liked the story, but I think the script could have used more work. I thought the dialogue was overwritten. It's something I've seen in a number of other fan films, and many of them took it much further, but I wanted to point it out.

I don't know how else to put it, but there were places where the dialogue sounded more like written English spoken aloud than spoken English, if you follow the distinction. I'd also approach the dialogue for the next script by looking for every word that could be taken out, particularly anything in the way of repetition or reinforcement.

Really enjoyed it, and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Thank you for your comments DCR. No offense taken and as a matter a fact thoroughly appreciated. I was very much aware that the mic wire was showing but I thought that it was going to be taken out in post but it didn't happen. The entire film was a learning experience for us and we definitely will strive to make our film better in the next episode. Thank you so much for watching.
__________________
"To Boldly Go!"
Phantassm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 12:35 AM   #10
FatherRob
Rear Admiral
 
FatherRob's Avatar
 
Location: Citizen of the Kingdom of God (Living in Bargersville, IN)
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Thanks for bringing us another starship and crew in the TOS era... I'll be eagerly awaiting your next episode.

Positives:
The first officer was far and away the highlight of the episode.
The admiral did a great job.
I like the general storyline about how Jackson came to command.

General observation:
I felt that after all he had just experienced with his daughter, Jackson should have at least said something to the Admiral about the situation. It didn't have to make a difference, but the lack of discussing his daughter was strange.

Improvements
I noticed the zipper dangling from Jackson's uniform.
Ensign Torres dress looked very bunched up
Some of the acting was wooden and stilted...
I noticed a black shirt sticking out from behind Jackson's black collar. Looked odd.

Great first outing!

Rob+
__________________
"Purity in doctrine... Compassion in application."
FatherRob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 01:39 AM   #11
Phantassm
Vice Admiral
 
Phantassm's Avatar
 
Location: Oklahoma City
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

FatherRob wrote: View Post
Thanks for bringing us another starship and crew in the TOS era... I'll be eagerly awaiting your next episode.

Positives:
The first officer was far and away the highlight of the episode.
The admiral did a great job.
I like the general storyline about how Jackson came to command.

General observation:
I felt that after all he had just experienced with his daughter, Jackson should have at least said something to the Admiral about the situation. It didn't have to make a difference, but the lack of discussing his daughter was strange.

Improvements
I noticed the zipper dangling from Jackson's uniform.
Ensign Torres dress looked very bunched up
Some of the acting was wooden and stilted...
I noticed a black shirt sticking out from behind Jackson's black collar. Looked odd.

Great first outing!

Rob+
Thanks for the comments FR. Appreciate you watching.
__________________
"To Boldly Go!"
Phantassm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 02:28 AM   #12
RCAM
Lieutenant Commander
 
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

I definitely enjoyed this. Very solid production values for a fan film. I also thought there was something unique about seeing the bridge darkened and empty. There was a sort of eerie quiet in that scene that was cool.

My only criticisms somewhat echo a couple other's people's: I found the daughter very unconvincing (it seems like maybe she doesn't have a background in acting, since she knew to raise her voice but sounded like was reading off a cue card instead of speaking spontaneously like we do in real life); and I thought a few scenes lingered too long on the lead character's despondent expression (hammering it home instead of being subtle).

This is very promising, and I look forward to more. It was a most pleasant way to spend 20 minutes this afternoon.

One question: is this meant to take place close to "The Motion Picture?" I ask in light of the closing credits playing over Goldsmith's iconic score.

Last edited by RCAM; July 6 2014 at 02:30 AM. Reason: Edited to add a question for the creator.
RCAM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 03:37 AM   #13
Orion Pimp
Captain
 
Orion Pimp's Avatar
 
Location: OrionPimp
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

I liked it. The best compliment I can give is it made me want to see more. Nice job! I already feel comfortable with these characters and am looking forward to your next film.
Orion Pimp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 07:22 AM   #14
Potemkin_Prod
Commodore
 
Location: Southwest Georgia
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

Very enjoyable, Michael! Looking forward to much more!
__________________
Randy
--------------------
Project Potemkin
http://www.projectpotemkin.com
Potemkin_Prod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old July 6 2014, 08:44 AM   #15
Duane
Captain
 
Duane's Avatar
 
Re: STARSHIP VALIANT: LEGACY -NOW ONLINE

I don't have much to add to the other comments made here, but I do agree with Father Rob the the First Officer's performance was outstanding. I'm guessing the actor has a lot of experience?
Duane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
starship valiant

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:30 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.