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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old March 24 2014, 04:15 AM   #1
LeadHead
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TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption

Hello everyone, time for a new contest!




First up to the plate, we have the "First world problems" Award, going to:

NTRPRZ wrote: View Post


Bones, I don't care how many AMT or Polar Lights models of the Enterprise you've built, you still need to clean up your modeling desk.
Next, we have the "Set course for Amazonia!" Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


In accordance with the Articles of the Federation for the treatment of prisoners, we demand snu-snu!
Next, we have the "Alternate Settings" Award, going to:

T'Girl wrote: View Post


Chekov: "Yes yes yes yes ... oh God yes ... ahhhhhhh ... please more ..."

Spock (os): "The controls appear incorrectly set."
Next, we have the "REALLY Alternate Universe" Award, going to:

Armored Saint wrote: View Post

JASMINE:...and this is Jafar.
ALADIN: But who are Abu and Iago?
Next, we have the "Misdemeanor or Felony?" Award, going to:

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post


Spock: I have arrested the doctor. The charge is, impersonating Karl Urban.

McCoy: Wait, WHAT?
Our Photoshop award, goes to:

jep wrote: View Post


"Yes, I pirate the signal, Captain. And we have no 'Brady Rule' in this universe."

"Sweet."


JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


MIRROR KIRK: Spock! Let me out of here so I can execute you!
Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

And now, the next contest!











Enjoy!
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Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
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Old March 24 2014, 04:25 AM   #2
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



Kirk: (thinking) I really hope that synthehol doesn't become standard on starships.




Could there be a worse omen than this in Star Trek?



Uhura: Personal Log, Lieutenant Uhura. Captain Kirk has been acting like a total jerk to everyone again. I think the crew is beginning to consider a mutiny.

Kirk: Very funny Lieutenant. I'm sorry I forgot your birthday.



Nimoy: The script calls for you to get the last word in this episode. Bill has already begun petitioning for a rewrite.



Spock: It is remarkable and how much more efficient this ship is run when I am in command.

Uhura: Should I tell him that you're here Captain?

Kirk: Preserve the surprise.
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Old March 24 2014, 04:27 AM   #3
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



INTERCOM: Will Security Squad Alpha please report to the Transporter Room.

MR. LESLIE: Ah, you guys go ahead. I forgot something in my quarters.



KIRK: Whoa, really been hitting up the plomeek broth, eh Sarek?
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old March 24 2014, 04:34 AM   #4
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



SPOCK: Thank you, T'Pok.

UHURA (thinking) I didn't know Spock even had a sister.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old March 24 2014, 04:52 AM   #5
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



Redshirt Leader: "Alright, whichever one of you is humming 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door,' knock it off!"
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Old March 24 2014, 05:13 AM   #6
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



Sarek: "... and so Vulcans learn to drink sehlat urine while crossing the desert, today it's highly prized for the intricacy of it's texture and structure ... wouldn't you agree Captain?"

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Old March 24 2014, 05:20 AM   #7
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



Sarek (to bartender): "Under no circumstances are you to give my wife more than two drinks."
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Old March 24 2014, 05:33 AM   #8
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



AMANDA: Doctor, I'm here for my "physical"...oh, hello Spock.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old March 24 2014, 05:44 AM   #9
Nebusj
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption


``Well, Ambassador … Even in this brief conversation I've come to understand so much more about your son … and why he drinks.''


``OK, it's still eating Johnson. When the light turns green, Matthews, you rush in and it eats you. After that, Richardson, then Leslie, then Maccomber … never fear, eventually indigestion is bound to set in!''


``Personal log: talk to Uhura about setting her publicity stills as screensaver defaults.''


``Well, I don't know why the computer threw up all those multicolored disks. Amanda, did you see anything?''
``I certainly wasn't browsing DeviantArt! I mean, no.''


``If he stays off the bridge just a couple more seconds I'll have Shatner entirely written out of the script.''
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Old March 24 2014, 05:52 AM   #10
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



KIRK: Well, I hate to leave the reception, but I'm needed on the Bridge.

UHURA: No sir, everything is fine up here.

KIRK ( firmly) I said, I'm needed on the Bridge.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old March 24 2014, 09:01 AM   #11
CrazyMatt
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



Security chief: "One more time men, so we have it perfect when the captain arrives!"

All: "We who are about to die salute you!"
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Old March 24 2014, 11:01 AM   #12
Maurice
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption



KIRK: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.




SULU'S VOICE: The red light is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no docking on a white light.
UHURA'S VOICE: No. The white light is for immediate loading and unloading and there is no docking on a red light.
SULU'S VOICE: The red light has always been for loading and unloading there is never docking on a white light.
UHURA'S VOICE: Don't tell me which light is for docking and which light is for loading.
SULU'S VOICE: Listen Uhura, don't start up with your white light shit again.
LESLIE: God, sometimes I wish this shirt curse would work...




UHURA: Excuse me, sir, there's been a little problem on the bridge...
KIRK: The bridge...what is it?
UHURA: Its the round room at the top of the ship where the helmsmen sit, but that's not important now...




BONES: Nervous?
AMANDA: Yes.
BONES: First time?
AMANDA: NO, I've been nervous lots of times.
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Old March 24 2014, 02:43 PM   #13
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption

LeadHead wrote: View Post
Next, we have the "REALLY Alternate Universe" Award, going to:
Thanks!


SAREK: Yes, it tates like urine, but it is the only logical way we Vulcans found to be able to live together.
KIRK: Is it also the secret of your happy marriage with an emotional Human?
SAREK: Yes!
KIRK: I'll quickly learn to like it!
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Old March 24 2014, 04:43 PM   #14
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption


BONES: With your own mom?
AMANDA: Well, it's a Vulcan tradition, don't be so shocked doctor.
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Old March 24 2014, 05:32 PM   #15
Triskelion
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #284: Journey to Caption

TFTW Leadhead!



Sarek: Until he was three years old, we dressed Spock as a girl and called him Amelia.
Kirk: What?
Sarek: Logic, yadda yadda yadda.




Scotty: Now remember, the secret to survival is sticking together - hey, where's Iggy?
Ricky: He thought he heard the ice cream man and he went to check it out.
Scotty: Bloody hell!
Iggy: <screams>




Kirk: Is he gone, Lieutenant?
Uhura: Yes sir, but in the future you might try not scanning your butt cheeks into Spock's sensor station and logging it as "The moons of Uranus".
Kirk: That's ok, I can still do "Fart Nebula," "Full Rectal Eclipse," and "The Chocolate Milky Way."
Uhura: Not my point, but yes, sir.




Amanda:
Spocky, you forgot your itchy bottom balm again. Take off your pants.
Spock:
Not now, mother.




Kirk: Why is it so quiet up here?
Spock: Turns out we had a volume button for every station.
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