TNG Caption This! 347: Better than ever

Indeed, LeadHead, many thanks for mine, sir ...

 

Riker: Data, what is it!
Data: Big ass energy bolt, sir.

 

JONO: Hey Johnny, flash-news, everybody on this ship already knew that your supposed precious artifacts were from a Bajoran kit for serious hash smokers.

 

RIKER: Wow, remind me not to piss off this "Ororo Munroe" chick.

 

Worf: "Call me Pigpen again and I will kill you where you stand!"

 

Picard: Oh YES! YES! YES!
Troi: I'll have what he's having.

 

PICARD: Excuse me, what does Go....AAAAAARGH!

 

Worf: "Orders sir?"

Picard: "Keep the boy occupied. If he C-blocks me again, so help me..."




Picard: "Good lord, what have they been feeding you? It smells like something died in here."



Riker: "Analysis Worf."

Worf: "What we have here, sir, is some high quality H2O."

Riker: "Wait. What?"




Picard: "Damn it *pfft* Beverly, another one. At least Vash kept her's shaved clean."





Data: "'Shocking."

 

Picard: "What is that? An almond? These aren't Mounds! Worf!"

 

PICARD: Worf, do something, she wants Starfleet command to forbid me to drink any more Earl Grey.
WORF: Sorry sir, I just sent the message. I had to do it.


WORF: The Captain's urine is full of Earl Grey traces. He definetely find a way to bypass the interdict.
RIKER: That explains why he's peeing a river.


JONO: Hey, this is a tea-pot.
PICARD: Noooo, he found it! **Sob**


PICARD: No, it doesn't taste like bergamot or tea. NEXT!


TROI: I sense a strong desire to drink Earl Grey.
ZAAAAAAAP!
WORF: Sorry sir, but Dr. Crusher received yesterday the approval for the shock therapy.
PICARD: M...er...de....

 

JONO: Sextant...hehheheheheheh...sex.....heheheheheh....that's cool.

 

Jono: I know that's you Captain, so you may as well stop pretending to be Guinan's Oscar.
Picard: I was the one for Ghost, tee hee!

 

Lt. FÜNKE:OH GOD! WHAT AWFUL CLOTHES!
RON HOWARD (OS): And Tobias was about to discover at his first assigment as Starfleet psychatrist that the Enterprise was perhaps not the better place to pursue his Blue Man activities.
COMPUTER: Red alert! A naked Bolian male has been detected near the Jeremiah Rossa's cabin.

 

Picard: Mr. Worf, you have the bridge. If any of your ex-girlfriends show up, try not to get them killed this time.





Captain's Personal Log: I forgot to wash my hands making it so by myself again.




Riker: What is it?

Worf: Duh, it's a tricorder, stupid.

Riker: Why are we letting you do science stuff?




Stewart: James McAvoy is getting paid how much more than me?




Riker: Captain Picard has fallen! I name myself the new captain!

 

PICARD: These ancient field rations are perfect edib...blaaargh.

 

Geordi: OK, we're ready.

Worf: Captain, even if the device works, it will be without honor!

Picard: Come, come, Mr. Worf. Let's be open-minded! Computer, activate automatic bridge defense system.

***ZAP!!!***

Computer: Commander Riker is now in command.

Riker: Computer, deactivate BDS.

Data: I can see why this device was originally discontinued.

Troi: I sense great pain.

 

The biologist in me just realized I used the wrong word for it...

fixed...

 

Crusher: My rations are shepherd's pie flavored. Reminds me of Grandmother's.
Troi: Mmmm - chocolate sundae! My favorite. How about yours, Captain?
Picard: Burnt...fur...putrid eel...and...serpent worms? Dammit Worf!
Worf: Mmm, pheasant.