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Old March 8 2014, 12:12 AM   #241
J. Allen
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

{ Emilia } wrote: View Post
J. Allen wrote: View Post
Zion Ravescene wrote: View Post

Mine is *A* strawberry. That's what the North Sea does to you.
You shouldn't go skinny dipping in the North Sea.
Eh, Germany disagrees with you.
Why am I not living in Germany?
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Old March 16 2014, 10:51 PM   #242
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
I know my views may be old-fashioned. As a widower who lost his soul mate to a distracted driver, I tend to compare future mates to the high standards we shared. Why would I want someone who is not compatible?

IDIC is more than GR's commercial gimmick. It means 3 things:
1 -"Can't we all just get along?"
2 -"Live and let live."
3 -We are all different, yet together we are complete.

I don't dislike you based upon the standards you set. Please don't dislike me for mine.
No one has judged you for whatever personal standards you choose to live by. If you don't want to kiss on a first date, that's your business. It's when you treat your personal preferences as the standard for all others to follow, or look down on those who do something different, that people tend to call you on it.

You insinuated that kissing on a first date is indicative of people who are only interested in dating for sex as if it were fact for everyone. That's not true, and people pointed that out. That's all.

Also, throwing out IDIC as a philosophical afterthought doesn't give one carte blanche to be rude or judgmental beforehand. People on this board misuse and abuse the meaning of IDIC only slightly less than they do political correctness.
Since I did not "put anyone else down" nor condemn them, even when ridiculed, your calling me out is pointless.
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Old March 16 2014, 10:55 PM   #243
J. Allen
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

You'd let me give you a chaste peck on the cheek, now wouldn't you Sector 7? /big-doe-eyes
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Old March 16 2014, 11:30 PM   #244
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

That depends on which cheek you're talking about.
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Old March 17 2014, 01:33 AM   #245
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
"put anyone else down".
You mean the part where you said that anyone who simply kissed at the end of the first date was only "in it for the sex" and dismissed any chance of them being interested in any other kind of relationship based on that one tiny token of affection?

It was absurd, somewhat offensive, judgemental and plain wrong. So yes he was quite right to call you out on it, as was anyone else participating in the thread.
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Old March 17 2014, 02:13 AM   #246
J. Allen
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

macloudt wrote: View Post
That depends on which cheek you're talking about.
Shh!
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Old March 17 2014, 06:23 PM   #247
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Eh, J., it's your birthday. We'll let you get away with whichever cheek you choose, but just for today. *big squishy birthday hugs*
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Old March 17 2014, 09:00 PM   #248
J. Allen
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

macloudt wrote: View Post
Eh, J., it's your birthday. We'll let you get away with whichever cheek you choose, but just for today. *big squishy birthday hugs*
[hugs]
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Old March 17 2014, 09:13 PM   #249
Sector 7
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

J. Allen wrote: View Post
You'd let me give you a chaste peck on the cheek, now wouldn't you Sector 7? /big-doe-eyes
Only for you, J.
Chemahkuu wrote: View Post
Sector 7 wrote: View Post
"put anyone else down".
You mean the part where you said that anyone who simply kissed at the end of the first date was only "in it for the sex" and dismissed any chance of them being interested in any other kind of relationship based on that one tiny token of affection?

It was absurd, somewhat offensive, judgemental and plain wrong. So yes he was quite right to call you out on it, as was anyone else participating in the thread.
You really should read my entire post. Speaking of judgmental, you should try reading your own posts. I'm done here.
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Old March 18 2014, 12:38 AM   #250
Locutus of Bored
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Sector 7 wrote: View Post
I'm done here.
As was this discussion, two weeks ago, until you felt the need to bring it up again.
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Old March 18 2014, 07:10 AM   #251
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Hmmm...

My list is short and sweet.

1. Humor.
If you don't have a sense of humor, I cannot deal with you.

2. Loyalty or Monogamy.
Either don't cheat on me or at least have the courtesy to tell me before you do so that way we can end it and you can have your jollies.

3. Respect my family. Me and you can fight all we want, but don't you dare yell or fight or threaten my family. I've already dealt with someone who nearly gave my mom a heart attack. Not going to go through that again.

4. Independence.
I want you to want me, but I still need my space and ability to live my own life.

5. Intelligence.
Self...evident?
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Old March 20 2014, 04:54 AM   #252
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Pingfah wrote: View Post
I'm not down with the no kissing on the first date thing.
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Old March 21 2014, 02:56 PM   #253
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Have you lost weight?
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Old March 21 2014, 07:54 PM   #254
Rhubarbodendron
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

now, seriousely: people who put their kid into such a T-shirt ought to be taken away the custody for their children. They ridicule the kid plus send a completely wrong message about sex. A 100% parental fail.


belated congrats, J. Allen I trust you haven't eaten any sauerkraut yet? (over here a belated congrats counts as still being in time, as long as the person hasn't eaten kraut)

As for other German customs: yes, skinny dipping in the North Sea or in fact in any lake, river or major waterbody is considered quite normal here. In Summer, you can see people sunning themselves during their lunch break in every park. Topless is considered totally acceptable for both genders, bottomless depends on your taste (and on whether there are ants in the lawn). The English Garden in Munich is rather famous with tourists for the sightseeing opportunities in the word's boldest meaning.


Just for the record: while I join the skinny dipping and sunbathing I never kiss at a first date. Nor on the 2nd or 3rd. I kiss a person only if and when I am deeply and honestly in love with him (or her, for that matter) and falling in love is a process that takes time. (To prevent any misunderstandings please note that I make a difference between love and having a crush on someone or finding a person sexually attractive or being in the mood for a one night stand.)

It's a wide shot but I suspect it may have something to do with age. The older you get, the more you focus your definition of love. It's no longer the hot all-consuming flare you experience when you are young. It gets something very calm and immeasurably deep, like a huge lake or like a velvety sky in a warm summer night. It takes decades till you find it but once you found it you'll never look back and you'll just smile at what you used to think was love.
I think that is what Sector 7 meant. He was among the few who were given the grace to spend some time with their soul mate. Not everyone is so lucky but I sincerely hope all of you will at one time in your life experience it. It'll change your views forever.
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Old March 21 2014, 08:19 PM   #255
Locutus of Bored
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Re: list of boyfriend rules

Rhubarbodendron wrote: View Post
now, seriousely: people who put their kid into such a T-shirt ought to be taken away the custody for their children. They ridicule the kid plus send a completely wrong message about sex. A 100% parental fail.
It's just Photoshopped. The original shirt had a picture of ALF on it.

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