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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old March 2 2014, 03:04 AM   #1
Lead-Nosed Reindeer
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TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared

Hello everyone, LeadHead's on time again! Yay!




First up to the plate, we have the "Miscommunications" Award, going to:

juren1980 wrote: View Post


Riker: Your orders were "Dress uniform", sir.
Next, we have the "Family Secrets" Award, going to:

shivkala wrote: View Post


Worf: I'm adopted?!

Helena: We're sorry to have kept this from you for so long.
Next, we have the "Power Utilization" Award, going to:

Armored Saint wrote: View Post

TROI: Will, what happened? I was drying my hair...and why do I suddenly sense exasperation?
RIKER: Didn't you pay attention to my message? Geordi needed half the power of the ship to be able to beam up the Captain whithout lowing the shields, so nobody were supposed to use any electrical device during three little minutes. Now, we have no more main power, only one quarter of the auxiliary power, the Captain couldn't have been beamed up and we have NO MORE SHIELDS in the NEUTRAL ZONE.
Next, we have the "Schoolyard Issues" Award, going to:

Roddenberry wrote: View Post

Data: But I don't get why Q is laughing Geordi, if your mother was that fat, wouldn't that be a serious medical problem?
Next, we have the "Promising Missions" Award, going to:

bbjeg wrote: View Post

Picard: Numbah one, take an away team down to the planet. What's it called Data?
Date: The Certaindeath planet.
Riker: Man I can go for a beer.
Another week of great photoshops! Couldn't decide between these two, so they're both winners!

Gep Malakai wrote: View Post

And....


Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


Sometimes, on long boring shifts, Riker's mind would wander.



Mojochi wrote: View Post


Captain's Log: Let the record show, that for the entirety of Cinco de Mayo I'll be referring to Commander Riker as "Numero Uno"




Honorable Ensign wrote: View Post

Picard: Don't go that way, Will. There's a caption contest in that direction. You'll get horribly mocked.
Riker: There's a man in a skirt in the other direction. We're doomed either way, sir.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

We're drawing closer and closer to contest #350! Time flies when you're having fun!

And now, a new contest!











Enjoy!
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Old March 2 2014, 03:12 AM   #2
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared

LeadHead wrote: View Post



Riker: "Geordi?"

LaForge: "Bombs, sir. I'm beaming them to the TrekBBS and cutting this caption contest off at the knees."

Riker: "Well done-carry on."






Riker: "Those suckers at the TrekBBS will never know what hit them."
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Old March 2 2014, 03:13 AM   #3
Lead-Nosed Reindeer
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



La Forge: Why are you here, Commander? This is a simple cargo beam-up.

Riker: Riker to Picard. Your Premium Earl Grey has been beamed aboard.

Picard: (over comm) About time!



Crusher: Detecting traces of Irish whiskey...

Picard: Mister La Forge, get O'Brien up here.



Riker: Keep em coming, that Cliff guy doesn't sound like he'll stop yapping any time soon.



Worf: When you invited me to go on a spree with, I didn't think you meant shopping.



Worf: Sir, the Enterprise is under attack by the Ferengi!

Riker: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, you're not kidding.
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Old March 2 2014, 03:27 AM   #4
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared

TFTW

RIKER: How long until the replacement by a grand piano?


RIKER: How long until any Bear Grylls reference?


RIKER:Mr. Crusher, set to piano and enveryone prepare to Bohemian Rhapsody!
WESLEY: Sir, Tactical isn't the name of a synthesizer manufacturer!
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Old March 2 2014, 04:03 AM   #5
Santa Kang
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



RIKER: I was right, even with the label Worf managed to sit at the wrong station.



RIKER: Who would order four containers of whiskey?

O'BRIEN: I'll ahhh.....look right into it, sir.
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Old March 2 2014, 04:13 AM   #6
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared


PICARD (os): Numbah On...argh...
RIKER: Funny Captain, Data leading a mutiny, hahaha!
DATA (os): Mister Burke, or should I say Number One, fire at will against the Hathaway!
BURKE (os): Aye Captain!
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Old March 2 2014, 04:59 AM   #7
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



Bartender (to Data): "We're pretty open-minded around here, but you still need to get your boyfriend out of his pajamas and into a suit before you bring him in here!"




Crusher: "Ah, Worf! I see on your medical chart that you're overdue for a prostate exam."
Worf: "It will take a lot more than the two of you to ever make that happen."
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Old March 2 2014, 05:58 AM   #8
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared


TROI: Well Worf, can you explain these fanfics written by KahlessFromMinsk about Beverly, Ogawa and me doing it by the Klingon way in the sickbay?
CRUSHER: In fact, it turns me on.
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Old March 2 2014, 07:00 AM   #9
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



Crusher: You idiots! You're only supposed to recharge him in a 120 volt outlet!
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Old March 2 2014, 12:54 PM   #10
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



First Officer's Log: We have begun battle training on a holodeck simulation of the Constitution Class USS Enterprise as it appeared during Kirk's five year mission.
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Old March 2 2014, 03:25 PM   #11
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



CRUSHER: So where do the fuses go again?
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Old March 2 2014, 03:29 PM   #12
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



LaForge: "I have something important to tell you..."
music swells
LaForge: "It may comes as a bit of a shock."
ominous chords begin to play
LaForge: "But it is really quite humorous."
shave and a haircut
Riker: "Hold that thought. O'Brien, will you quit messing around with that synth!"



Picard: "So if I kick him in the nuts now, he won't even feel it?"
Crusher: "No sir, he's completely off-line."
Picard: "Where's the fun in that?"



Riker: "Really authentic atmosphere in here. How'd you get it so smoky?"
Barkeep: "Same way as any other bar, bunch of elementary school girls with ten packs of cigarettes."



Worf: "Reporting as ordered Doctor... oh shit!"
Crusher: "What's wrong, Worf?"
Worf: "The two of you in sickbay together can only mean one thing. You're going to give me some bad news, and the Counsellor is going to make me feel better about it."



"Wesley Crusher's personal log: They say that some of the pitfalls of command, in the centre seat of a starship, light years away from anywhere, with no one to answer to, are delusions of grandeur. Commander Riker seems to be taking these wargames too seriously. I wonder if I should be concerned now that he's started paraphrasing Moby Dick at Captain Picard?"
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Old March 2 2014, 03:52 PM   #13
DecktheThralls
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



O'Brien: Peanut butter.
Riker: Check.
O'Brien: Jelly.
Riker: Check.
O'Brien: Bread.
Riker: Check.
O'Brien: Ritual suicide daggers.
Riker: Dammit Worf!




Picard: Virus?
Crusher: Spam filter.
Geordi: I tried to tell him that TV dinners weren't made from TVs.




Riker: A spaceman and android come into your bar -
Bartender: Heard it.




Crusher: I'm pleased to report your penile shortening procedure was a complete success.
Worf: What? I came in here for a ridge enhancement!
Troi: Here's my card.




Worf: Perhaps you could stop referring to your orders in the third person, sir.
Riker: What? Captain Riker is nothing if not open to suggestions!
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Old March 2 2014, 03:59 PM   #14
Finngle Bells
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared



Joe Carey: *under his breath* I'd like some of that.
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Old March 2 2014, 04:45 PM   #15
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 349: Totally Unprepared

Finn wrote: View Post


First Officer's Log: We have begun battle training on a holodeck simulation of the Constitution Class USS Enterprise as it appeared during Kirk's five year mission.
Tactical Officer's Log: Perhaps our First officer should use something more historically accurate than Mel Gibson's movies when he creates an holoprogram.
First Officer's Log: Perhaps mister Ch'Kov should not lecture anybody about historical accuracy. The Constution Class starships are not a Bielorussian inwention.
Engineer's log: Bogus frat, where's the Scotch?
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