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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies I-X

Star Trek Movies I-X Discuss the first ten big screen outings in this forum!

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Old December 29 2013, 07:54 AM   #1
LeadHead
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Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

Hello everyone! Time for a new contest!




First up to the plate, we have the "Good Question" Award, going to:

CaptainBearclaw wrote: View Post

COCHRANE:What the hell do I have a petrified butterfly in here for?
Next, we have the "Contractual Obligations" Award, going to:

inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


Mr. Shatner's Divaesque demands on the set of Generations included having Patrick Stewart make him breakfast every day.
Next, we have the "Leonard McCoy: Gourmet Chef" Award, going to:

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


McCoy: "When it first flew in there, I thought, 'We gotta get that thing outta there!' But it's actually cooking up rather nicely."
Our photoshop award goes to:

North Pole Myk wrote: View Post



Lance wrote: View Post


Spock: "Jim, what did Doctor McCoy mean, when he said that bourbon and beans are an explosive combination?"

Kirk: "He means... uh, he means that he doesn't believe in no wind scenarios."
Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, we begin again!







Enjoy!
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Old December 29 2013, 07:59 AM   #2
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



Kirk: Who's calling? I thought I ordered the entire crew down here.

Uhura: You did, Sir. The Klingon Captain sitting in your chair wants to thank you for doing that.



Geordi: I removed these chips from the main computer.

Data: Don't get the wrong idea Geordi, it's a friends with benefits arrangement.



Spock: Here's the problem, we're not supposed to store gluesticks in the warp drive.
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Old December 29 2013, 08:40 AM   #3
Lance
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

Thanks for the win.



Geordi: "Well Data, I finished your service. You're good to go. Um... by the way...uh, these bits I had left over after I put you back together... they weren't important, right?"

Data (thinking to himself): [That's the end of me being 'fully functional'.]
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Old December 29 2013, 08:48 AM   #4
Candlelight
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



"And we've finally gotten rid of all the black people on the oh hi Uhura, didn't see you there."



"You wish to shove them where, sir?"



"After careful analysis I have determined the corridor lights are stuck at blue."
"Been on Vulcan a while, obviously."



"Don't worry Data... better out than in..."
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Old December 29 2013, 04:48 PM   #5
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



Uhura: Security, Sulu's gone Jedi again.




Geordi: I've swapped out your flash stick for a floppy diskette.
Data: Oh crap.Is this because you have pleasured fewer women than I have?
Geordi <storms off>
Data: Someone should warn Wesley Crusher.



Spock: I can see it now: a big floating head demanding a starship.
Scotty: And when does God come into Kirk's scene?
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Old December 29 2013, 06:24 PM   #6
Jonas Grumby
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

TFTW, LeadHead!



Kirk: "Surprise, Commander Uhura! Welcome to our own little version of 'This Is Your Life!'"
Uhura: "Oh, my! I'm flattered that so many of you showed up!"
Chekov: "Ve told everyone that ve vould be showing lots of slides of you in that red mini-dress!"




Data: "Doctor Brahms is a highly qualified mechanical engineer. Finding some of my mechanical parts in her quarters does not necessarily mean anything."
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Old December 29 2013, 07:16 PM   #7
Armored Saint
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity


DATA: Awww, Geordi, my favourite android dish. It is so kind of you to take care of me during my Pon farr subroutine.


UHURA: Captain, Admiral Nogura is calling you.
NOGURA: For God sake, Jim, stop this stupid fashion show, they're already all wearing these new uniforms!


SPOCK: You are right, mister Scott. This ensign is a direct descendant of Lionel Ritchie.
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Old December 30 2013, 04:16 AM   #8
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



KIRK: Step away from the environmental controls, Uhura. The temperature in here is just fine.

UHURA: Fine my ass, I'm freezing.



SPOCK: You are correct, Mr. Scott. There are traces of the Captain's genetic material on this crystal. The question is how it got there

SCOTT: I'd rather not know.



GEORDIE: I don't get it. This is the best android chow money can buy!
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old December 30 2013, 06:45 AM   #9
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



Uhura: "Crew Movie Night is a chance for the entire crew to relax without the stresses of their daily jobs," he said. "Everyone can just relax," he said. "Oh, Uhura, we need you to run the film projector," he says...

Kirk: Is there a problem, Lt.?

Uhura: Uh, no, sir. In fact, I've taken the liberty of picking the movie. It's a movie from the early 21st Century called Twilight...



Geordi: I found these, they were apparently put there by a group even more devious than Section 31, called the "NSA."



Spock: Alert the Captain, I've found the 5 minutes of plot in this movie. Apparently, the other 127 minutes is special effects and our reactions to those effects.

Armored Saint wrote: View Post

SPOCK: You are right, mister Scott. This ensign is a direct descendant of Lionel Ritchie.
Ensign Richie: What gave me away, sir?

Scotty: When I paged you, Lad, ye came in and said, "Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

Spock: While dancing on the ceiling.

Ensign Richie: Oh, I thought you guys might know my mother, uncle, cousin, and grandfather, they were all Commodores.

Spock: Yes, I know your mother, Commodore Richie.

Ensign Richie: Actually, sir, after the divorce she went back to her maiden name, she's a Brickhouse, again, now.

Scotty: Aye, I heard about the divorce. I felt sorry for your father, as rumor was, your mother is easy.

Spock: Just rumors, Mr. Scott. Believe me, she is three times a lady.

Ensign Richie: Anyway, sirs, with all due respect, do you intend to keep me here all night long?

Spock: No, Ensign, you are dismissed.

Scotty: Watch the floor, though, lad. They just washed it and it tends to be slippery when wet.
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Old December 30 2013, 06:56 AM   #10
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity


LAFORGE: Pick a card. Any memory card.


UHURA: It's the bridge. sir. They're ready to call the square dance.


SPOCK: Mr. Scott, thanks to this microscope I believe I have finally located your dignity.
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Old December 30 2013, 07:01 AM   #11
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



SPOCK: This isn't blue sky. We need Heisenberg.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old December 30 2013, 04:39 PM   #12
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

North Pole Myk wrote: View Post


SPOCK: This isn't blue sky. We need Heisenberg.
Scotty: He's been reassigned. Would a Heisenberg compensator work?
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Old December 30 2013, 09:35 PM   #13
inflatabledalek
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

Thanks FTW!

Am I the only one who finds young chef-Shatner slightly freaky?



Kirk: ...But, in good news, the horrible deaths of many of your friends and colleagues on Epsilon station has given me just the excuse I need to get the captaincy back!



Data: Geordi... Why am I tied up?

Geordi: It's the only chance any of the rest of us have of getting any screen-time in this film.

Data: Good luck with that.



Scotty: I know you're really pleased with your Viewfinder Christmas present, but maybe play with it after we've fixed the ship?
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Old December 31 2013, 12:07 AM   #14
Jonas Grumby
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity



Spock: "Idiots! This isn't Caddyshack! It's Caddyshack II!"
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Old December 31 2013, 02:16 AM   #15
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #240: Captions Against Humanity

shivkala wrote: View Post
North Pole Myk wrote: View Post


SPOCK: This isn't blue sky. We need Heisenberg.
Scotty: He's been reassigned. Would a Heisenberg compensator work?
SPOCK: Pinkman? I don't think so.
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