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Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old December 26 2013, 07:05 PM   #16
Noname Given
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Commodore Wesley: "Dammit Jim! you guys totally side-swipped my port nacelle! Twenty-Third century political correctness aside, those Asian drivers are ALWAYS the same!"
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Old December 26 2013, 07:18 PM   #17
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


WESLEY: Jim, why the hell didn't you tell me about this virus? Don't you see my bridge officers currently doing anal toying?
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Old December 26 2013, 08:18 PM   #18
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Noname Given wrote: View Post


Commodore Wesley: "Dammit Jim! you guys totally side-swipped my port nacelle! Twenty-Third century political correctness aside, those Asian drivers are ALWAYS the same!"
I'll take PC over race jokes any day.
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Old December 26 2013, 10:47 PM   #19
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


De: "Say, Bill, isn't that your Vette?"
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Old December 27 2013, 12:44 AM   #20
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


Spock: Jim, I do not believe your "Condescending Back Rub Kirk" meme will catch on.
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Old December 27 2013, 04:00 AM   #21
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


CHEKOV: Aaaah, Tetris, what a great Russian invention!


MCCOY (OS): This Madame Tussauds Museum must be ruled by a green-blooded hobgoblin.
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Old December 27 2013, 03:21 PM   #22
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


Sulu: It's a temporal anomaly leading to an alternative timeline.
Kirk: The one where my girlfriend lives but Hitler wins?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one there are no humpback whales to communicate with an ancient alien space probe?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where aliens suck on the brains of San Franciscans around the turn-of-the-century?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Worf gets knocked on the head and loses the Bat'leth competition?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Cochrane's warp ship is destroyed by cybernetic organisms from the Delta Quadrant?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Archer fails to stop Earth from being destroyed by something that looks like a spinning Death Star?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: Then which one?
Sulu: The one where you don't wear a girdle and Spock, not you, makes out with Uhura.
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Old December 27 2013, 03:39 PM   #23
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



MCCOY: I don't like turbolifts. They make me nervous. Going up and down and sideways isn't natural!

KIRK: This technophobe thing is getting out of hand, Bones.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old December 28 2013, 05:33 AM   #24
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Wesley: I swear I'll destroy my own ship rather than let this virus get loose! It's making all my crewmen do the Hokey Pokey!
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Old December 28 2013, 03:57 PM   #25
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



WESLEY: This is the same stock footage from when you blew up the DY-class ship! You couldn't even matte me into an original shot?
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old December 28 2013, 05:20 PM   #26
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



"Hi there, I'm Bob Wesley for the Federation Express Card. Don't leave the bridge without it!"
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In labor news: Longshoremen walked off the piers today. Rescue operations are continuing.
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Old December 28 2013, 07:44 PM   #27
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Wesley: "'How do I like my new ship', Jim? I can't find the liquor cabinet in my quarters! Where is it in your cabin?"
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Old December 28 2013, 08:50 PM   #28
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


BONES: Jim, would you mind if I begin to give some treatments to the two kids in charge of piloting this ship?
KIRK: Treatments? They're sicks?
BONES: No, BUT I'M GETTING SICK OF HEARING THEIR VOICES! Nasonex for Lieutenant Stuffy-Nose and Tennessee whiskey for Ensign Russian-Falsetto!
SPOCK: Illogical, they will not stay long enough on this ship to allow us to see some results.
KIRK: Yeah, they never realised they have VIP access to hidden cameras, I doubt they're promised to long careers on the Enterprise.
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Old December 30 2013, 07:40 AM   #29
Avro Arrow
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Kelley: ... and that's what syphilis will do to you.
Shatner: So, kids, take it from Captain Kirk: practice safe sex.
Nimoy (thinking): I need to fire my agent.



Sulu: "Rigel Left". Wait a minute, where'd it go?!



Chekov: Found it sir! According to this deck plan, our only bathroom is on Deck 18!



Wesley: Jim, we're starting to sober up over here! I need you to beam over 100 more litres of Mr. Scott's moonshine, pronto!



Kirk: I believe that wraps up this mission to every last detail.
McCoy: What about the security team you left on the planet before we warped away?
Kirk: ... except for that one.



Chekov (thinking): Vhat do they mean, I never make keptin?!



Crazy Bob: So come to Crazy Bob's for all your used spaceship needs! With prices this low, you'll think I looked directly at a Medusan!!
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Old December 30 2013, 03:28 PM   #30
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Avro Arrow wrote: View Post




Chekov: Found it sir! According to this deck plan, our only bathroom is on Deck 18!
McCoy: What's wrong, Jim?
Kirk: I know that one. It's a ladies' room.
Sulu: Sir, someone's peeing out the airlock!
Kirk: Must be from Engineering. At least someone's thinking creatively. Bones, you'd better stand by with a frostbite kit.
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