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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old November 11 2013, 05:09 PM   #16
Holdfast
Procul, O procul este profani!
 
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains

TFTW! And don't worry about missing a week; it's just nice to get a new contest!





RIKER: Haemorrhoids?
PICARD: If I sit just like this, it's OK.





PICARD (thinking to himself): Damn. Every table's full, except the one with the weird dude from Deck 4. I really don't want to sit with him; he's always so awkward. And look, everyone else knows I have to sit there. They actually laughing at me. Bastards. When I get back to the bridge, they're all going on report...





PICARD: New caption contest, Lieutenant?
TASHA: Yes, Captain. And I'm in this one, so expect jokes about my sex life and my untimely death.
PICARD: And your hair Tasha; don't forget your hair.





WORF: You're cheating! The captain said, no copying!!





ENSIGN: You do realise, this means we're married now.
WORF (thinking): Now I understand why K'Ehyler found that so annoying.
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Old November 11 2013, 10:10 PM   #17
inflatabledalek
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains




Picard: So... Who has gone and left their gum stuck to the tactical console?




Picard: Here's to the finest crew in the fleet!

Everyone: YAY!

Picard: ...and when we rendezvous with the Hood I'll be buying them all a drink.




Picard: Yes, the whole crew has heard about your penalty box, I'd stop going on about it if I were you.




John Hurt, David Tennant and Matt Smith before going into make up.




Ensign: Are you sure this isn't important?

Worf: Nah, it's just the equipment that stops the Ferengi making us look like complete and utter idiots. How much are we likely to need that on this mission?
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Old November 11 2013, 11:17 PM   #18
Triskelion
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Geordi: Wow, he wasn't kidding - the Captain really can do Worf's job with his ass.
Picard: It's how Starfleet promotes you to Captain after you master the First Officer stinknuts maneuver.
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Old November 11 2013, 11:50 PM   #19
milo bloom
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


WORF: Psst. What's the answer to question six?
Geordi (whispering): Slow down!
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Old November 12 2013, 03:37 AM   #20
Avro Arrow
Fleet Captain
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Picard: And now we'll do Frère Jacques... as a round! To start us off... just the empaths!
Troi: I want a transfer.



Worf: ... and you must wear this wig, and call me "Link" at all times.
Ensign: I want a transfer.



Picard: You know, Number One, things have gotten rather lax on this ship. I'm thinking of implementing a "no fraternization" policy between crewmembers.
Riker: I want a transfer.



LaForge (reading): Effective immediately, all Enterprise crewmembers are expected to take part in the Adopt-a-Tribble program.
Worf: I want a transfer.



Picard: And here's where Data posted the video of your night together. Oh, and look, here's where he's opened it up for comments by the rest of the crew!
Yar: I want a... actually, you can just kill me off.
Picard: Hmm... anthropomorphic oil slick?
Yar: That'd be lovely.
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Old November 12 2013, 11:29 PM   #21
huskers57
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Enterprise Ergonomics 101 -

Stand Tall, Arms Straight
Will Riker, Looking Great!

Sit on the console, staring hard,
Now you've done it, you've upset Picard!

A hand on the console, a hand on the hip,
Sorry Geordi, you'll never get another pip!







Worf just couldn't quite get the Stanley Roper camera mug right.



Worf: I see you must have finally shaved.
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Old November 13 2013, 03:54 AM   #22
Finn
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Yar: I need Geordi's password

Data: (OS) Try "Leah"

Last edited by Finn; November 13 2013 at 11:23 PM.
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Old November 13 2013, 05:32 AM   #23
Triskelion
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Yar: But sir, if we take that route we'll warp into the planet.
Picard: What about....
Yar: Nope. Magnitude ten ion storm. We'll be ripped apart.
Picard: This one?
Yar: Sir, that's the lavatory occupied button.
Picard: Make it so, Lieutenant.
Yar: Yes sir. Shall I activate the "fasten seatbelts" sign as well?
Picard: Engage.
Yar: Sigh. Engaging, sir. <toilets flush>
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Old November 13 2013, 05:39 AM   #24
Nerys Myk
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



GOLDIE: Come on. It's for the kids.

WORF: I am not a jolly old elf!



PICARD: Worst party ever, Number One. Doesn't Geordi know any girls?



PICARD: And that Wesley, is how you run a level three diagnostic.

YAR: I'm Tasha, sir. Wesley's a teenaged boy.

PICARD: Ah, yes. Quite right. Carry on, Wesley.

YAR: *sigh*
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Old November 13 2013, 06:20 AM   #25
Avro Arrow
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



LaForge (reading aloud): "Geordi, I just wanted to send you this message to let you know that last night Ambassador K'Ehleyr was the latest to discover how 'fully functional' I am. It was quite the night. She is currently recuperating in sickbay. Note, since Lieutenant Worf is sitting right beside you, please do not read this aloud."



Picard: But *which* door is ajar, dammit? We have thousands on this ship!
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Old November 13 2013, 02:43 PM   #26
R. Star
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains

Thanks for the win!



Picard: Tell them to kiss my French ass!
Riker: Slide a little to the left sir, and it'll be quite literal.



Picard: Look at my minions Number one, look how they bask upon me with adoration.
Riker: They just know crew evaluations are going to be in tomorrow, sir.



Tasha: Here's a manifest of Wesley's personal files.
Picard: Angry Birds? World of Warcraft? Call of Duty? These are his experiments?!



Data: (dictating aloud) Second Officer's Log: The Enterprise crashed into thirty nine different objects this watch alone. I suspect Lieutenant Worf's claims of accidental rammings to be fabricated as he was screaming "Today is a Good Day to die, prepare for ramming speed." Lieutenant LaForge's accidental collisions are less severe but more frequent, leading me to question if a visually impaired officer should be piloting the ship. Statistics suggest a child would be better than these two. I will recommend immediate replacement to the Captain.



Officer: Where am I going to get the optical cable?

Worf: (rip) Anywhere. I'm a tactical officer, not an engineer.
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Old November 13 2013, 05:50 PM   #27
BriGuy
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Riker: When I heard it was about "moving mountains," I thought there would be at least ONE image of Deanna's breasts...

Picard: I'm disappointed, too, Number One.
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Old November 13 2013, 06:08 PM   #28
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Frakes: "You keep sliding to your right. Are you trying to upstage me, Patrick?"
Stewart: "'Trying'? No, Jonathan, not 'trying.'"
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Old November 13 2013, 11:27 PM   #29
Finn
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



Data: *taps combadge* Data to Riker

Riker: (in the holodeck with a hot lieutenant) "Riker here"

Data: I've recieved word from the Klingon Homeworld. The file has been found. You now may post the senior staff baby pictures in Ten Forward.
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Old November 14 2013, 12:51 AM   #30
JirinPanthosa
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Re: TNG Caption This! 332: Moving Mountains



PICARD: Will, what do I keep saying about hitting on women under your direct chain of command?
RIKER: Yeah, you said women. You didn't say anything about tri-gendered aliens.



PATRICK STEWART: Yes, I have been reading Shakespeare in my quarters, with a lot of HOT LADIES!
JONATHAN FRAKES: He knows we're going to cut this scene, right?
MARINA SIRTIS: Ssh.



PICARD: It's okay Tasha. You can cry when you're in the penalty box.
TASHA: You know I'm not five, right?



MICHAEL DORN: I'm serious. Worf is going to appear in more episodes of Star Trek than any other character!
LEVAR BURTON: Riight. Take a look, in a book. It can take you anywhere... *snrk*



WORF: I found all of this stuck between panels in the Jeffries Tube.
BLONDE: Sorry. It's my people's shedding season.
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