RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 147,591
Posts: 5,835,261
Members: 26,153
Currently online: 396
Newest member: MercDan

TrekToday headlines

Retro Review: Elogium
By: Michelle Erica Green on Aug 28

Trek Swype Keyboard
By: T'Bonz on Aug 28

Meaney In Talks For McGuinness Role
By: T'Bonz on Aug 27

Stewart And Son To Act Together
By: T'Bonz on Aug 27

Quinto: If I Wasn’t An Actor…
By: T'Bonz on Aug 27

Star Trek Beyond Update
By: T'Bonz on Aug 27

Red Shirt Diaries Returns Next Month
By: T'Bonz on Aug 26

ISS Astronaut May Join Trek Fan Film
By: T'Bonz on Aug 26

Quinto Sports New Trek Uniform
By: T'Bonz on Aug 26

Star Trek: Renegades Released Early
By: T'Bonz on Aug 25


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Lounges & General Chat > Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old October 13 2013, 08:41 AM   #16
JarodRussell
Vice Admiral
 
JarodRussell's Avatar
 
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Skully wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Peach Wookiee wrote: View Post
Jarod, sometimes it isn't that simple. I get down because of my folks, but it's not simple. I can't walk away from it. For my dad's sake, I can't. I'd feel worse if I did.
Eventually you would realize that this was not the case.

Sometimes you just have to cut off your arm under extreme pain, and then learn to live without it, to survive.

Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.

And then again my initial response was directed at Rita Hayworth who said she wanted her own life. And I said, go get it if you talk about your parents, and get your shit together if you talk about your own family. It's really not my fault that my response got hijacked by Peach Wookie's own different problems that are revealed in slices.
__________________
A movie aiming low should not be praised for hitting that target.
JarodRussell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 10:16 AM   #17
Avon
Commodore
 
Avon's Avatar
 
Location: Avon
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

wow you've clearly not made many difficult decisions if you think those are the only options in life.
__________________

Hello to Jason Isaacs!
Avon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 04:33 PM   #18
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Not hijacking, Jarod. Just pointing out that things are not always so simple as you're trying to make them. Rita hasn't told us what is the issue with her family and she may not be able to simply walk away. So she needs to find some other ways to help herself. If she can vent to a therapist, that might be a viable solution. Or even finding a form of exercise or crafts could help. Rita, if you can't leave all of it, try something that refocuses you. Do something that is yours.

Last edited by Peach Wookiee; October 13 2013 at 08:03 PM.
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 05:37 PM   #19
Hound of UIster
Rear Admiral
 
Hound of UIster's Avatar
 
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Skully wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Eventually you would realize that this was not the case.

Sometimes you just have to cut off your arm under extreme pain, and then learn to live without it, to survive.

Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
Hound of UIster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 07:56 PM   #20
Triskelion
Rear Admiral
 
Triskelion's Avatar
 
Location: In my dune buggy
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

For someone else's family, sure.

These extremes are sometimes necessary, but not because some random internet person thinks that's all someone's family is worth.

Professional counselors don't even tell people what to do, but this guy's got it all figured out in a tweet.

Sorry Jarod, I don't mean to single you out, but you have no information nor any stake in someone else's consequences.

Barking dog? Shoot it. Next!
__________________

Triskelion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 07:59 PM   #21
J. Allen
Snuggle Master
 
J. Allen's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio, USA
View J. Allen's Twitter Profile
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Hound of UIster wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Skully wrote: View Post


Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
Sure it is, if you use a sledgehammer to drive down railroad spikes, and to fix a hole in your sweater.
__________________

Like My Little Pony? Join us at Brony Kingdom!

-= St. John of Trenton, Patron Saint of Cute Ponies =-
Bestowed upon me by Pondwater
J. Allen is online now   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 08:08 PM   #22
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

It's not always as simple as we think.

Rita, again, may have more complex issues what she's said.
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 08:39 PM   #23
RJDiogenes
Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion
 
RJDiogenes's Avatar
 
Location: RJDiogenes of Boston
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
Yeah, basic advice. As basic as Talk Radio and as useless.

It's really not my fault that my response got hijacked by Peach Wookie's own different problems that are revealed in slices.
Don't blame Peach for what you said. It's dangerously simplistic under any circumstances.
__________________
Please stop by my Gallery and YouTube Page for a visit. And read Trunkards! And check out my Heroes essays.
RJDiogenes is online now   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 09:57 PM   #24
Taylirious
Rear Admiral
 
Taylirious's Avatar
 
Location: TayLaLaLa
View Taylirious's Twitter Profile
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

My parents rely on me right now so just walking away isn't an option and I don't have the means to just walk away right now anyway. My siblings aren't there for them and I get stuck having to help them out. I don't mind it to a degree but they are negative and a lot of other family members don't help either and are negative and I just wish I could walk away. Honestly the frustration of dealing with my family and something(two things) horrible that happened recently kinda hit me harder than I thought and I just broke down. I usually don't like to complain about the family stuff because part of it is my fault.

Anyway frustration with family + some very sad/horrible stuff I didn't deal with properly when it happened = this thread.

I do appreciate everyone's kind words and your opinions.
Taylirious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 10:05 PM   #25
J. Allen
Snuggle Master
 
J. Allen's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio, USA
View J. Allen's Twitter Profile
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Rita Hayworth wrote: View Post
My parents rely on me right now so just walking away isn't an option and I don't have the means to just walk away right now anyway. My siblings aren't there for them and I get stuck having to help them out. I don't mind it to a degree but they are negative and a lot of other family members don't help either and are negative and I just wish I could walk away. Honestly the frustration of dealing with my family and something(two things) horrible that happened recently kinda hit me harder than I thought and I just broke down. I usually don't like to complain about the family stuff because part of it is my fault.

Anyway frustration with family + some very sad/horrible stuff I didn't deal with properly when it happened = this thread.

I do appreciate everyone's kind words and your opinions.
I figured it had to be something more than "I just don't want to leave." I hope things work out for you, Rita.
__________________

Like My Little Pony? Join us at Brony Kingdom!

-= St. John of Trenton, Patron Saint of Cute Ponies =-
Bestowed upon me by Pondwater
J. Allen is online now   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 10:16 PM   #26
Peach Wookiee
Cuddly Mod of Doom
 
Peach Wookiee's Avatar
 
Location: Peach Wookiee
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

PM me if you need someone to talk to, Rita.
Peach Wookiee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 10:55 PM   #27
teacake
Fleet Admiral
 
teacake's Avatar
 
Location: Nyotaimori
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I've been thinking about this thread having felt trapped in different life situations in the past. Really most of us will end up there at some point, to varying degrees. Life isn't just endless options despite what people who've never been in such a situation sometimes think.

My comments..

1. (already said this but reiterating) Carve out as much of your own life as you can. Internet, yes, but have something you do at a minimum of once a month outside the house which is your interest with other people not connected to family. That can be the hard part, but it's worth the effort.

2. Honestly look at what they are relying on you for and ask yourself what would happen if you stepped away for a day, or an expectation, or a requirement. For part of the relying. If there's medical or transport needs are there services you could use to give yourself a break? I have a friend who is in this situation with her mother, no one else will do it including her father and she is there on call 24 hours a day. We have relief care available in the community, government funded etc.. and she's had the church offer to do things as well. BUT her mother refuses it. Do not let yourself be tied down by other people's pride. Sure everyone would prefer not to have strangers do stuff for them, but that's not enough reason to give up your life completely.

If stepping back and having a scheduled break one day a week, or for one particular expectation causes family to get stressed or angry then that is unhealthy for you and that's what you need to take a stand about. People do get used to it eventually. People get used to whatever you let them get used to, including having a family member give up their life for for them.
__________________

"Damnit Spock. God damnit!" Kirk ST:V
■ ■ ■
Janeway does Melbourne
teacake is online now   Reply With Quote
Old October 13 2013, 11:19 PM   #28
J. Allen
Snuggle Master
 
J. Allen's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio, USA
View J. Allen's Twitter Profile
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I agree with teacake. One can be so in the thick of things as to see absolutely zero options, but there are places where you can carve out some time for yourself. It's not much, but it's there. It won't take the place of a "real" life, but it can help.
__________________

Like My Little Pony? Join us at Brony Kingdom!

-= St. John of Trenton, Patron Saint of Cute Ponies =-
Bestowed upon me by Pondwater
J. Allen is online now   Reply With Quote
Old October 14 2013, 01:27 AM   #29
Hound of UIster
Rear Admiral
 
Hound of UIster's Avatar
 
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Rainbow Dash wrote: View Post
Hound of UIster wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post

I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
Sure it is, if you use a sledgehammer to drive down railroad spikes, and to fix a hole in your sweater.
Sometimes the best advice is the most simple. I think Jarod's piece of advice is comparable to the solution of the Gordian Knot. Both emphasizes attacking the problem directly.
Hound of UIster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 14 2013, 02:11 AM   #30
teacake
Fleet Admiral
 
teacake's Avatar
 
Location: Nyotaimori
Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Oh please. So you're stuck taking care of your family because they are sick or whatever and it impacts badly on your life. So you just what, cut them off?

Life is not a Nike ad you know.
__________________

"Damnit Spock. God damnit!" Kirk ST:V
■ ■ ■
Janeway does Melbourne
teacake is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.