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Old October 13 2013, 08:41 AM   #16
JarodRussell
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Skully wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Peach Wookiee wrote: View Post
Jarod, sometimes it isn't that simple. I get down because of my folks, but it's not simple. I can't walk away from it. For my dad's sake, I can't. I'd feel worse if I did.
Eventually you would realize that this was not the case.

Sometimes you just have to cut off your arm under extreme pain, and then learn to live without it, to survive.

Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.

And then again my initial response was directed at Rita Hayworth who said she wanted her own life. And I said, go get it if you talk about your parents, and get your shit together if you talk about your own family. It's really not my fault that my response got hijacked by Peach Wookie's own different problems that are revealed in slices.
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Old October 13 2013, 10:16 AM   #17
Rusty Nova
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

wow you've clearly not made many difficult decisions if you think those are the only options in life.
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Old October 13 2013, 04:33 PM   #18
Peach Wookiee
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Not hijacking, Jarod. Just pointing out that things are not always so simple as you're trying to make them. Rita hasn't told us what is the issue with her family and she may not be able to simply walk away. So she needs to find some other ways to help herself. If she can vent to a therapist, that might be a viable solution. Or even finding a form of exercise or crafts could help. Rita, if you can't leave all of it, try something that refocuses you. Do something that is yours.

Last edited by Peach Wookiee; October 13 2013 at 08:03 PM.
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Old October 13 2013, 05:37 PM   #19
Hound of UIster
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Skully wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Eventually you would realize that this was not the case.

Sometimes you just have to cut off your arm under extreme pain, and then learn to live without it, to survive.

Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
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Old October 13 2013, 07:56 PM   #20
Insp.LeStrange
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

For someone else's family, sure.

These extremes are sometimes necessary, but not because some random internet person thinks that's all someone's family is worth.

Professional counselors don't even tell people what to do, but this guy's got it all figured out in a tweet.

Sorry Jarod, I don't mean to single you out, but you have no information nor any stake in someone else's consequences.

Barking dog? Shoot it. Next!
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Old October 13 2013, 07:59 PM   #21
Rainbow Dash
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Hound of UIster wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Skully wrote: View Post


Lighten up, Francis.

Oh, and - you might consider asking a question before giving answers in life.
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
Sure it is, if you use a sledgehammer to drive down railroad spikes, and to fix a hole in your sweater.
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Old October 13 2013, 08:08 PM   #22
Peach Wookiee
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

It's not always as simple as we think.

Rita, again, may have more complex issues what she's said.
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Old October 13 2013, 08:39 PM   #23
RJDementia13
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
Yeah, basic advice. As basic as Talk Radio and as useless.

It's really not my fault that my response got hijacked by Peach Wookie's own different problems that are revealed in slices.
Don't blame Peach for what you said. It's dangerously simplistic under any circumstances.
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Old October 13 2013, 09:57 PM   #24
Fearless
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

My parents rely on me right now so just walking away isn't an option and I don't have the means to just walk away right now anyway. My siblings aren't there for them and I get stuck having to help them out. I don't mind it to a degree but they are negative and a lot of other family members don't help either and are negative and I just wish I could walk away. Honestly the frustration of dealing with my family and something(two things) horrible that happened recently kinda hit me harder than I thought and I just broke down. I usually don't like to complain about the family stuff because part of it is my fault.

Anyway frustration with family + some very sad/horrible stuff I didn't deal with properly when it happened = this thread.

I do appreciate everyone's kind words and your opinions.
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Old October 13 2013, 10:05 PM   #25
Rainbow Dash
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Rita Hayworth wrote: View Post
My parents rely on me right now so just walking away isn't an option and I don't have the means to just walk away right now anyway. My siblings aren't there for them and I get stuck having to help them out. I don't mind it to a degree but they are negative and a lot of other family members don't help either and are negative and I just wish I could walk away. Honestly the frustration of dealing with my family and something(two things) horrible that happened recently kinda hit me harder than I thought and I just broke down. I usually don't like to complain about the family stuff because part of it is my fault.

Anyway frustration with family + some very sad/horrible stuff I didn't deal with properly when it happened = this thread.

I do appreciate everyone's kind words and your opinions.
I figured it had to be something more than "I just don't want to leave." I hope things work out for you, Rita.
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Old October 13 2013, 10:16 PM   #26
Peach Wookiee
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

PM me if you need someone to talk to, Rita.
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Old October 13 2013, 10:55 PM   #27
teacock
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I've been thinking about this thread having felt trapped in different life situations in the past. Really most of us will end up there at some point, to varying degrees. Life isn't just endless options despite what people who've never been in such a situation sometimes think.

My comments..

1. (already said this but reiterating) Carve out as much of your own life as you can. Internet, yes, but have something you do at a minimum of once a month outside the house which is your interest with other people not connected to family. That can be the hard part, but it's worth the effort.

2. Honestly look at what they are relying on you for and ask yourself what would happen if you stepped away for a day, or an expectation, or a requirement. For part of the relying. If there's medical or transport needs are there services you could use to give yourself a break? I have a friend who is in this situation with her mother, no one else will do it including her father and she is there on call 24 hours a day. We have relief care available in the community, government funded etc.. and she's had the church offer to do things as well. BUT her mother refuses it. Do not let yourself be tied down by other people's pride. Sure everyone would prefer not to have strangers do stuff for them, but that's not enough reason to give up your life completely.

If stepping back and having a scheduled break one day a week, or for one particular expectation causes family to get stressed or angry then that is unhealthy for you and that's what you need to take a stand about. People do get used to it eventually. People get used to whatever you let them get used to, including having a family member give up their life for for them.
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Old October 13 2013, 11:19 PM   #28
Rainbow Dash
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I agree with teacake. One can be so in the thick of things as to see absolutely zero options, but there are places where you can carve out some time for yourself. It's not much, but it's there. It won't take the place of a "real" life, but it can help.
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Old October 14 2013, 01:27 AM   #29
Hound of UIster
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Rainbow Dash wrote: View Post
Hound of UIster wrote: View Post
JarodRussell wrote: View Post

I consider it basic advice. If something bogs you down, get rid of it. The excuses not to get rid of it are plenty. The options always are to get rid of it, or to go on with it and complain about it.
This is very good advice.
Sure it is, if you use a sledgehammer to drive down railroad spikes, and to fix a hole in your sweater.
Sometimes the best advice is the most simple. I think Jarod's piece of advice is comparable to the solution of the Gordian Knot. Both emphasizes attacking the problem directly.
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Old October 14 2013, 02:11 AM   #30
teacock
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Oh please. So you're stuck taking care of your family because they are sick or whatever and it impacts badly on your life. So you just what, cut them off?

Life is not a Nike ad you know.
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