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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old August 26 2013, 04:09 AM   #1
LeadHead
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TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Hello everyone! Sorry for the repeated delays, life is busy, but here comes a new contest!




First up to the plate, we have the "Advanced Technology" Award, going to:

Push The Button wrote: View Post

Captain, the check engine light just came on.
Next, we have the "Wishful Thinking" Award, going to:

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


SHATNER: I just talked to Gene, Season 4 is a lock!
Next, we have the "Only in the 23rd Century" Award, going to:

IzzyatWarp9 wrote: View Post


There's something you would never see on Next Generation.
Next, we have the "Personal Technology" Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Babe #210: Please swipe credit card...Thank you.
Next, we have the "Incomprehensible" Award, going to:

bbjeg wrote: View Post

Kirk: What happened?
Mudd: He tried to comprehend all the posts on the Trekbbs.


Maurice wrote: View Post


SHATNER: Okay, so I got the Green Berets shoot extended. Pay up, Walter.
Many thanks to everyone who participated! Congrats to our winners!

Here we go again!











Enjoy!
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Old August 26 2013, 04:16 AM   #2
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: Do you, Ensign Insert Name Here,

Rand: (thinking) Dang, I thought he knew who they were.



Scotty: Captain, shouldn't we be finishing the wedding ceremony?

Kirk: Just a minute Scotty...

Uhura: Now hear this, the Final Score: 49ers 34, Vikings 14.



Shatner: Leonard, why are you in my chair?

Nimoy: According to the recent character popularity ratings, it's OUR chair now.



Uhura: My foot will open up hailing frequencies with your butt if you don't stop staring at me.



Spock: Although it makes no sense whatsoever, I'm here in the weapons room. Plot hole, anyone?
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Old August 26 2013, 04:19 AM   #3
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



SHATNER: Someone tell that lighting tech he's fired!



SHATNER: Damn it. An American team won the Stanley Cup again!



KIRK: Out of the chair.



SULU: Since when can she drive?



SPOCK: And would you say you agree, disagree, strongly agree or strongly disagree?
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old August 26 2013, 05:41 AM   #4
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "Kirk to Scott!"
Scotty: "Right here, Captain!"
Kirk: "...My God, Mr. Scott, have you upgraded the intercom system? It sounds like you're right here with me!"




Uhura: "You lose somethin' over here, Hondo?"
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Last edited by Jonas Grumby; August 26 2013 at 06:32 AM.
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Old August 26 2013, 06:06 AM   #5
Nerys Myk
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



SULU: Hey, Uhura. You're navigating. You don't have to look at the screen to plot a course.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old August 26 2013, 07:27 AM   #6
Maurice
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Thanks for the award!



RAND: What the--?
KIRK: It's my "Kirk-light". Don't ask.




KIRK: What do you mean "the NSA has been monitoring all our intercom chats"?




KIRK: What's wrong with this picture, Spock?"
SPOCK: That you're harshing my mellow... sir.




SULU: You're a sight for sore eyes.
UHURA: Speaking of sore eyes: if you want two shiners, keep gawking, creep.





SPOCK: So that's two cheeseburgers "animal style", fries and two medium drinks. Your order number is 1701.
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Old August 26 2013, 08:28 AM   #7
Gecko of Gorn
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: .....and yada yada yada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now, as per Starfleet double secret regulations, I hereby invoke the Captain's right of Primae Noctis.
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Old August 26 2013, 12:34 PM   #8
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "That tribble on your head is making a mockery of this ceremony."

Martine: "Excuse me, Sir, but that's my maid of honor you just insulted."
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Old August 26 2013, 12:35 PM   #9
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "That tribble on your head is making a mockery of this ceremony."

Martine: "Excuse me, Sir, but that tribble on your head is making a mockery of this ceremony."
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Old August 26 2013, 02:51 PM   #10
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "Went to the Ross Geller school of tooth bleach, did we?"




Kirk: "Captain's Log: Stardate 3120.4. 430 crewmembers, one toilet, Spock was at the head of the queue after an all night plomeek burrito bender. He's been in there for the last half hour, infrequently screaming 'Occupado, occupado!" I'm next in the queue. Suggest to Starfleet that a full time psychiatric counsellor be assigned to all vessels."




Kirk: "I do not!"
Spock: "Yes you... do. It is most ill... .... logical. I shall now demonstate the Captainly poses you assume with which you radiate awesomeness."
Kirk: "Oh good grief!"





Sulu: "It won't go."
Uhura: "It will."
Sulu: "There's not enough room."
Uhura: "There is enough room. Look..."

THUNK

"It's in. See?"
Sulu: "I'm not explaining the dent in the nacelles to Mr Scott."





Spock: "There, what do you think?"
Styles: "Where are our clothes?"
Spock: "Artistic license."
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Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end."

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Old August 26 2013, 02:56 PM   #11
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: That tribble on your head is making a mockery of this ceremony.

Tomlinson: And the curtains don't even match the drapes.

Rand: Awk-WARD!
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Old August 26 2013, 03:13 PM   #12
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "It's always a joyous occasion whenever a young man decides he loves the milk so much he wants to buy the cow..."
Rand (thinking): "Yikes!"
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Last edited by Jonas Grumby; August 26 2013 at 10:04 PM.
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Old August 26 2013, 05:03 PM   #13
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Thanks for the win!


Kirk: ...until death do you part... But I wouldn't worry, your shirt's not red.


Scotty: Take your time sir, there's only a line forming behind you.


Spock: Be glad this isn't NuTrek, you never would have replaced me as Captain.
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Old August 26 2013, 07:28 PM   #14
BoredShipCapt'n
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: "... and just for the record, I was never invited to officiate at Sulu's."




Spock: "You resigned your commission, sir."
Kirk: "Dammit, Spock, I was drunk!"
Spock: "Starfleet regulations clearly state that voluntary intoxication does not negate..."
Kirk: "To blazes with regulations! Those chairbound paper-pushers have never had a good buzz!"




Spock: "And your job is to sit and stare at a single button? Very good. I believe this downsizing project may prove easier than I anticipated."





Uhura: "There! The controls are responding much faster since I deleted all that stupid porn of yours."
Sulu: "You take a lot of chances, Lieutenant."





Scott: "Captain, we canna begin the dance party until ye switch it off Rush Limbaugh!"
Kirk: "Only an hour and twenty minutes left, Scotty."
Intercom: "...bunch of Vulcans and Andorians coming in and taking jobs away from decent, hardworking Earth people!"





Kirk: "Since the days of the first wooden vessels ... and that reminds me, I really need a leak."
Rand: (whispering) "Inappropriate, sir."

Last edited by BoredShipCapt'n; August 27 2013 at 01:37 AM.
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Old August 27 2013, 04:01 AM   #15
Triskelion
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

TFTW, Leadhead!



Kirk: The cross? Yeah, some kid named JJ thought it needed beefing up. Gave it some shoulder muscles.




Spock: This is my spot. You can't sit in my spot.
Kirk: Who are you now, Sheldon Cooper?
Spock: Naturally. That would make you Leonard, Captain.
Kirk: - You're Leonard.
Spock: No, I'm Sheldon, you're Leonard.
Kirk: Bones?
Spock: Kuthrapali, perhaps you should explain it to him.
Sulu: I know he's not looking at me just because I'm Asian.
Chekov: Vell? The Volovitz mop vas a Russian inwention.





Live Long and Prosper, Leonard Nimoy. Here you are, an autographed copy of my book I Am Not Spock.

Crewman: Do the death grip! Do the death grip!




Kirk: Sulu, how close can we get to that black hole before it swallows us up?

Uhura: You better navigate your nose back to the outer space, mister. I'll space bitch slap an Ensign.




Kirk: This is the captain. There's something out on the wing. That is all.

Scotty: We don't even have a wing, sir!

Last edited by Triskelion; August 27 2013 at 08:31 PM.
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