RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 139,747
Posts: 5,433,184
Members: 24,838
Currently online: 409
Newest member: Mei'konda

TrekToday headlines

Episode Four of The Red Shirt Diaries
By: T'Bonz on Sep 22

Star Trek: The Compendium Review
By: T'Bonz on Sep 22

Orci Drops Rangers Project
By: T'Bonz on Sep 22

Retro Review: Image in the Sand
By: Michelle on Sep 20

Star Trek: Shadows Of Tyranny Casting Call
By: T'Bonz on Sep 19

USS Vengeance And More Starship Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Sep 19

Trek 3 To Being Shooting Next Year
By: T'Bonz on Sep 19

Trek Messenger Bag
By: T'Bonz on Sep 18

Star Trek Live In Concert In Australia
By: T'Bonz on Sep 18

IDW Publishing December Trek Comics
By: T'Bonz on Sep 17


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old August 5 2013, 05:51 AM   #1
LeadHead
Director of Comedy
 
LeadHead's Avatar
 
Location: Flying above Never Land thanks to Robin Williams
TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last

Good evening everyone! I've started a lot of contests lately with apologies. This time, I begin with an apology and sincere gratitude. In the last couple of weeks, I hit a very low point that I never thought I would see. The result of which was, that my sense of humor was not anywhere near alive enough to judge a contest. The reason I wanted to express gratitude is that, thanks to the humor and creativity of all the people who post here, I was able to smile and laugh in some very dark moments. Thank you very much everyone.

And now without further ado....




First up to the plate, we have the "Maybe these two DO need a Counselor" Award, going to:

Holdfast wrote: View Post


PICARD: Stable and wide stance?
RIKER: Check.
PICARD: Eyes down?
RIKER: Check.
PICARD: Weapon in hand?
RIKER: Check.
PICARD: Troi would have a field day with this symbolism, you know.
Next, we have the "Boring Captain" Award, going to:

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


YAR: So. we need this injection every time the Captain begins moralizing?

RIKER: Trust me, it's worth it.
Next, we have the "Some things just get old" Award, going to:

BriGuy wrote: View Post


After so many years in command of the Enterprise, airlocking insubordinate crew members no longer provided the same pleasure it once had.
Next, we have the "Where did it go?" Award, going to:

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


CRUSHER: Computer, locate my dignity.

COMPUTER: Your dignity is no longer on the ship.
Next, we have the "Mistaken Identity" Award, going to:

Bry_Sinclair wrote: View Post

Wesley: [scoffs] Who do you think you are? Superman?
Riker: You'd better take that back, Wesley!
Wesley: What's he going to-- [chokes, then starts gargling and gasping]
Picard: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Picard: Two to beam, Chief O'Brien.
O'Brien: Just a second sir, I'm having a little...ion interference.




The Laughing Vulcan wrote: View Post


Cmpptns Lgg Splmntl: "Fkckn sprglu prnkstrs hv strk gn!"


JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


BEVERLY: Computer, show me to the part of the ship without tacky art deco wall panels.
Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!











Enjoy!
__________________
Thanks to Nerys Myk for my awesome avatar!

Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
LeadHead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 05:56 AM   #2
LeadHead
Director of Comedy
 
LeadHead's Avatar
 
Location: Flying above Never Land thanks to Robin Williams
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Troi: Captain, you gave this same speech last week.

Picard: Whoops.



Picard: Beverly...

Crusher: Yes, Captain?

Picard: Why in gods name am I being treated here on the Bridge?! Don't we have a state of the art Sickbay?!!



Picard: So, at the end of the date, I tried to kiss her, and she called for an emergency beam-out.



Worf: (thinking) I hope I get promoted to Tactical so that she can't do this anymore.



Data: We have entered the Rave Nebula.
__________________
Thanks to Nerys Myk for my awesome avatar!

Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
LeadHead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 05:57 AM   #3
Nerys Myk
Fleet Admiral
 
Nerys Myk's Avatar
 
Location: House of Kang, now with ridges
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



PICARD: What the hell is on your head?

TROI: Interesting, most guy's eyes go straight to the cleavage.



CRUSHER: It's a bald cap! He's been fooling us this whole time!



CRUSHER: Guess who passed the Bridge Commanders test, losers?

LAFORGE: Could be worse, it could have been Troi.
__________________
The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
Nerys Myk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 06:17 AM   #4
Mr. Laser Beam
Fleet Admiral
 
Mr. Laser Beam's Avatar
 
Location: The visitor's bullpen
View Mr. Laser Beam's Twitter Profile
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Beverly: It's time for your lunch, gentlemen. I brought some KWAY-SAWNTS up to the bridge.

Worf: I will kill you where you stand.
__________________
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
Mr. Laser Beam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 06:31 AM   #5
Triskelion
Rear Admiral
 
Triskelion's Avatar
 
Location: \,,/. ▷\✦_✦ L L + P
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last

TFTW Leadhead!



Troi: I have it on good authority that a certain senior officer would not kick you out of bed for eating crackers.

Picard: I don't like crackers.




Picard: Sleep, Riker.
Beverly: He's exhausted.
Riker: Ogawa, draw a penis on his head.




Troi: Data, while the crew would no doubt benefit from your new counseling chip, you should know that catsuits are not mandatory.




Worf: It's the nebula.
Crush: There's a nebula, all right. LaForge?
LaForge: Fogging up the IR band up in here.




Data: Geordi, should we be stopping at a strip club?
LaForge: Like the Captain said about you, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life: well, there it pole dances!

Last edited by Triskelion; August 5 2013 at 09:32 AM.
Triskelion is online now   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 10:10 AM   #6
inflatabledalek
Captain
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last




Troi: ...And that's as close as my hand gets.




Riker: Right, what we do is the Murder On The Orient Express thing where we all give each other an alibi and blame the murder on a passing midget.




Riker: I'm going to be the youngest Captain in Starfleet one day.





McFadden: Hey Dorn, do you think they'll still pay me more than you in season 2?




Geordi: Do you think we'll ever see those Ferengi again?

Data: Nah, a show would have to be really desperate to do a follow up to this episode.
__________________
TRANSFORMATION: GOLDBUG IS BLASTER'S BIATCH
A Decepticon pilot just goes to pieces in my look at: Crater Critters Part 1
inflatabledalek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 10:53 AM   #7
IzzyAtWarp9
Commander
 
IzzyAtWarp9's Avatar
 
Location: 221C Baker Street
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Troi: Captain, is it really necessary for Will to have a chair? I mean, mist of the time he's up with his leg on the consoles anyway
Picard: Hmm...



Beverly: What happened?
Riker: I caught him trying to remove my chair
Beverly: Oh. Fair enough then
...
Beverly: What do you want to do now?
Riker: Steal the captain's chair?
Beverly: I'll get the spanner



Troi: Thank God it's finally over! Will, you've made me watch all 5 seasons if Sex and the City, can we please watch Twilight now??
Riker: There are 6 seasons, Deanna
Troi: Aww, no!!



Beverly: You know, Worf, it will never work out with you and Deanna. You'll end up hooking up with... A girl with, like, a worm in her or something...
Geordi: Don't worry about it, Worf, she's just drunk as usual
Worf: With a...? Hmmm....
__________________
Boldly going... nowhere in particular
'The truth is usually just an excuse for lack of imagination' Garak
IzzyAtWarp9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 12:43 PM   #8
Isis
Commodore
 
Isis's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Riker (to self): "Ah...preseason football is back. All's right with the galaxy."

Troi (to self): "Of all the games he could watch, why does Will insist on the one with the pointy ball?"





Data: "What do you mean we're lost? This is obviously the wide blue yonder."
Isis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 12:59 PM   #9
IzzyAtWarp9
Commander
 
IzzyAtWarp9's Avatar
 
Location: 221C Baker Street
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Geordi: OK, Data, I believe you. Starfleet ships aren't waterproof.
Data; I told you Star Trek: Into Darkness was impossible
__________________
Boldly going... nowhere in particular
'The truth is usually just an excuse for lack of imagination' Garak
IzzyAtWarp9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 03:44 PM   #10
Nerys Myk
Fleet Admiral
 
Nerys Myk's Avatar
 
Location: House of Kang, now with ridges
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



DATA: I fail to see why this game is called "chicken". It has nothing in common with that domesticated fowl.
__________________
The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
Nerys Myk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 03:45 PM   #11
Nerys Myk
Fleet Admiral
 
Nerys Myk's Avatar
 
Location: House of Kang, now with ridges
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Prom Night
__________________
The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
Nerys Myk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 03:55 PM   #12
Jonas Grumby
Vice Admiral
 
Jonas Grumby's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



Troi: "Captain, I can't help picking up your thoughts. I don't mind your mental images of you and Vash together. I don't even mind your mental images of you and me together. I do mind your mental images of me and Vash together!"




Ogawa: "Oh, here's the problem! The dosage was supposed to be 100 micrograms! Not 100 milligrams! I always get those two confused! Silly me!"




Crusher: "The Captain and I were just renewing our old 'friendship.' By the way, get ready for a transfer. My son thinks it might be fun to drive the ship."




Data: "Wow. Check out the headlights on that Borg female."
LaForge: "Heh! You know, on Earth that's just a smarmy euphemism!"
__________________
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

Last edited by Jonas Grumby; August 6 2013 at 12:54 AM.
Jonas Grumby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 07:28 PM   #13
huskers57
Lieutenant Junior Grade
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



It gradually dawns on Picard where the jump ropes from the recreation deck have gone.



Crusher: "Note the low forehead, denoting stupidity; the dull look of a trapped animal."



Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Blue birds singin' a song
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

I never saw the sun shinin' so bright,
never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by,
when you're in love, my how they fly by
Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on
huskers57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 5 2013, 07:32 PM   #14
Holdfast
Procul, O procul este profani!
 
Holdfast's Avatar
 
Location: 17 Cherry Tree Lane
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last

TFTW, and I hope you're feeling better now too.





TROI: Wouldn't you like to be where my left hand is?
PICARD (terrified, thinking): They always end up like their mothers.





CRUSHER: Damn, I can't find his on/off switch.
OGAWA: Scanning for it now, Doctor.
RIKER: And you're absolutely sure you two are medically qualified?





TROI: My mother is beginning a physiological phase. It's one that all Betazoid women must deal with as they enter midlife.
RIKER: It's something Troi warned me about when we first started to see each other. A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase, quadruples her sex drive.
TROI: Or more.
RIKER: Or more? You never told me that.
TROI: I didn't want to frighten you.

(pace original Manhunt scriptwriter; I just can't improve on the original lines; it's one of the funniest exchanges in all of TNG!)





CRUSHER: Look at my face; good, isn't it? It's the Botox. Give me 5 minutes, and I'll get rid of your forehead wrinkles too.





DATA: I appreciate the effort Geordi, but I am still unable to grasp the emotion, "feeling blue".
Holdfast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 6 2013, 12:02 AM   #15
JirinPanthosa
Commodore
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last



PICARD: Counselor, how did you not know the Romulan captain was lying?
TROI: It's Commander Riker sir. I have to close my mind when I'm around him or else I get really grossed out.



BEVERLY: Jean Luc said he'd had it for more than four hours, I should have listened!



Riker and Troi just found out their next mission is first contact with a planet where anybody found wearing clothes is executed on sight.



BEVERLY: I got your text last night Worf. Call me when you get off duty. (Wink)
Worf: (Thinking) That wasn't K'elyhr? Oh sh...



DATA: I'm getting a message from the past.
GEORDI: Put it on screen.
DATA: It says 'Destroy the Ferengi vessel before going back to the alpha quadrant. We beg you.'
GEORDI: Destroy them, why? Who is it from?
DATA: It says only 'From the fans of Star Trek: Voyager'.
JirinPanthosa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:30 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.