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Old July 25 2013, 07:03 PM   #16
JarodRussell
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

Infern0 wrote: View Post
Melakon wrote: View Post
You've not had a day off in seven months? Can you take a sick day, or do you need a doctor's excuse for that? There might also be a medical reason for your depression, so a doctor's visit might be helpful.
It's very difficult for me to get time off, as I have to arrange cover, which nobody wants to do. Covering is voluntary and nobody at work will do it if they can avoid it. Being the manager if I'm sick and nobody will cover the shop won't open and I'll probably lose my job

I had severe tonsillitis in February and nobody could cover so I worked with it for 3 days and on the fourth day it got so bad my windpipe was almost closed, even then it took, two hours for the cover person to eventually stroll in so I could go to hospital, when I got signed off work for 3 days and told the cover person that basically they have to work the three days he got really shitty and complained nonstop about it, before begrudgingly doing it after the area manager spoke to him.

Generally it's too stressful to even try and get time off, I just get tired of all the excuses.

It's a vicious circle
Lose the job and look for a new one.
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Old July 25 2013, 08:58 PM   #17
kirsten187
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I do. It's not severe but I am very negative. I have low self esteem too and tend just to stay at home a lot, except to go to work. I went to counselling about 3 years ago and had CBT.
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Old July 25 2013, 09:35 PM   #18
BillJ
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

All I can say Inferno, is that depression and anxiety finally forced me to leave a job I absolutely loved.

I had been in the hospital multiple times with what I thought was a heart attack. I was spending four hours just traveling back and forth to work. Eating horribly. Working third shift, many night I was there before the sun went down and wasn't leaving until well after it had came back up. Most nights I was off, I was up logged in from home because the manager above me was comically inept. I was writing reports, doing employee evaluations, payroll, was the liaison to our technical group and other financial institutions (including the Federal Reserve of the U.S.) and running production work if we were short staffed.

It wore and wore on me for months to the point my wife was telling me to quit but I soldiered on a few more months. Then I simply snapped. I showed up on a Sunday at 1pm (wouldn't have gotten out before 5am Monday morning) to write employee evaluations and some ass from another department came over and started giving me shit because one of his people called in.

I packed up my desk, walked by the other supervisor, said I quit and never looked back. Now I play stay-at-home Dad and the wife is a supervisor at a telecommunications company. The plus to the whole thing, is that I'm getting to be involved more in my six year old's life, I missed so much when the other two were growing up. But in exchange, I'm on Paxil, Valium and Blood Pressure medication.
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Old July 25 2013, 10:06 PM   #19
Infern0
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

NCC-1701-B wrote: View Post
I'm also dealing with depression and anxiety, I have a massive phobia of even going outside, even though I love being out and about. I don't do any of my hobbies anymore, I just sit around waiting for the next day to be the same. I'm trans so I'm scared of getting called out or attacked if I go outside. It's a hard thing to get out of.
That must be hard to deal with, feel free to message me if you ever need to talk
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Old July 25 2013, 10:36 PM   #20
propita
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

Wishing everyone the best. I know what it's like.

I keep being told to "get an interest outside of myself." Frankly, I'm was never that interested in myself to start with, aside from hating myself for being worthless.

I was told that my negative thoughts went to permanent storage, but all the positive thoughts were ephemeral--meaning that the only thing I recalled were negative thoughts. Talking with people, this is not all that uncommon. Know that this is physiological--which means it's not your fault--and you may be able to find medication to ease the load.

I know this won't be good news, but I didn't start really getting better until I was in my 40s. I know that's depressing (no pun intended) for those in their 20s, but it means you have to keep fighting. And it can be a fight to not just end the pain you're in. Keep going. Keep fighting.
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Old July 25 2013, 10:42 PM   #21
Davros
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I don't know if I would trust somebody that was not at least a little depressed.
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Old July 25 2013, 11:56 PM   #22
wissaboo
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I've been treated for depression a couple times. I have to say that I never would have believed back then how happy my life has turned out. I still feel the occasional pull back into depression but I just have to make the effort to throw it off and get outside for some exercise.

My advise is to take it seriously. Seek out treatment even if you think you aren't worth it. Then use that boost you get from medication to start changing your life. In the long run that is the only thing that is going to work. I never got anything out of therapy but I know some people do so you may want to try that as well.
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Old July 26 2013, 02:16 AM   #23
Ancient Mariner
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

From the few times I've been in a severe depression, the hardest thing to process was the advice and well-wishes, especially the promises that "things will get better." When I was depressed, there was simply no hope that things could ever improve. And that paralyzed me from making the necessary changes that would have ended the depressions sooner. But as difficult as it is to process advice, here's the advice I'd offer:

Start small.

On days off, just go outside. Go for a walk. Sit on a park bench. Lay on the grass and look at the clouds. Something small. Start with just an hour a day. You can do that. And in doing so, you can prove to yourself that you *can* make changes to your life.

For me, during one depression, running fifteen minutes on days off got me out of it. During another, going to a scenic overlook and staring across the surrounding area while listening to Pink Floyd allowed me the space I needed to begin a change in perspective. During another, it was picking up a camera and taking really shitty photographs.

Start small. You can do it.
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Old July 26 2013, 02:44 AM   #24
Tralfaz
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

Being depressed really sucks.

I've been treated for depression and anxiety a few times in my life. The worst came about 4 years ago where I became suicidal. Anyway, I spent 2 months in a hospital dealing with depression and was off work for a year. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned all sorts of ways to stop negative self-talk, meditating, looking at life with different eyes, stuff like that. The biggest thing I got out of the sessions was that suicide is a long term solution for a short term problem. Just remember that there are so many things that are completely out of our control, so don't let it get you down.

I've been on medication for quite a while which has helped quite a bit. I've been doing fairly well, so they started weening me off some of it. I am completely off one anti-depressant and started the second one. That one is a bit harder because of the withdrawal.

Drugs are not the cure all for everything. They helped me through the rough part so I could heal myself.

Don't let your depression get really bad. Definitely get some professional help to help you through this. Things will get better. Always keep that in mind even though it won't feel like some days.

I really feel for you. If you can, look for another job. That could be a huge pick-me-up to help deal with depression. Get out. Socialize. Find a friend that you can trust and talk with. Bottling things up will just make matters worse. In Canada (well at least in Ontario) seeing a psychiatrist is covered by out health system. Hope you have something similar where you live.

Best of luck to you.

Al
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Old July 26 2013, 05:30 AM   #25
Peach Wookiee
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I've probably fought it most of my life. It is a rough road, so you have my sympathy. But don't wait as long as I did to seek help. I should have in college.

Mine started... In retrospect, I've had it for most of my life. I was really down on myself in elementary school and was teased a lot. I coped by throwing myself into books and politics. I didn't have many friends, no matter what I tried. I transferred schools, but in eighth grade, began thinking of killing myself off and on. I overate and it worked. A bit too well..
College, I met friends. But I always felt isolated. And then there was a very bad experience I had with a teacher and my original chosen major. One day, not long before Thanksgiving 2001, it took everything I had not to drive to the SR-520 floating bridge, stop the car, and jump. And for a few years after that... I mentally shut down and went through the motions. I walked with the class of 2003 and felt nothing. I should have been happy and yet I wasn't. It took about three years or so before I started feeling again.
It wasn't until 3 years ago that I went into therapy, talked through childhood, adolescence and my adulthood. And I thank God I did because now I'm a caregiver for my mother and well, let's just say it isn't easy.
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Old July 29 2013, 12:07 AM   #26
Crusher Disciple
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

kirsten187 wrote: View Post
I do. It's not severe but I am very negative. I have low self esteem too and tend just to stay at home a lot, except to go to work. I went to counselling about 3 years ago and had CBT.
CBT really is wonderful. If you can manage to get it, I'd advise you to. It's a great way to battle all of the crap that depression says to you. You start to realize that it's a bunch of lies, and you can separate "your thoughts" from "lies my depression tells me to keep me from getting the help I really need."

I take Paxil. In my case, my depression and anxiety is inherited, so I have to stay on the meds.
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Old July 29 2013, 07:48 PM   #27
Rageforthemachine
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I was chronically depressed for almost 30 years. I don't consider myself a "depressed person" anymore although I still take anti-depressants and have a long way to go in re-building my life.

Depression can be a vicious catch-22 because there can be many causes of it(bio-chemical imbalance, negative lifestyle, childhood maladjustment, change in circumstances, etc) and to identify and treat the specific cause can take a great deal of effort and perseverance which is precisely what depressed people have in short supply. I was in therapy and meds for for 15 years until I finally found a therapy that worked for me.

My advice isn't that different from what most people have said because you have to start somewhere and the standard treatment for depression is a good starting place. Go on an anti-depressant, stay away from high-carb junk food, get some sunlight and a walk in every day. As far as therapy, that can be tricky because everyone has here own approach and sometimes you can get a therapist whose personal approach isn't well suited to treated depression. The current emphasis is on treating it with heavily behaviour oriented therapies like behavioral activation and ACT. Even in CBT they are now concentrating more on the B than the C. There are some good books specifically targeted to treating depression that may be very helpful too.

Take it from someone who used to be called "the suicidal one" on depression newsgroups I frequented there is always possibility for change. Good luck.
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Old July 29 2013, 11:20 PM   #28
kirsten187
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

Crusher Disciple wrote: View Post
kirsten187 wrote: View Post
I do. It's not severe but I am very negative. I have low self esteem too and tend just to stay at home a lot, except to go to work. I went to counselling about 3 years ago and had CBT.
CBT really is wonderful. If you can manage to get it, I'd advise you to. It's a great way to battle all of the crap that depression says to you. You start to realize that it's a bunch of lies, and you can separate "your thoughts" from "lies my depression tells me to keep me from getting the help I really need."

I take Paxil. In my case, my depression and anxiety is inherited, so I have to stay on the meds.
CBT has helped. I still have a lot of the rubbish negative thoughts but it's not as bad as it used to be. I got it through my previous job.
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Old July 29 2013, 11:23 PM   #29
Roboturner913
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

I have battled it all my life. I generally function with what my social worker MIL calls "low-grade depression" meaning that it's always kind of there but doesn't show up in ways that are obvious to everybody else. ie sleeping a little too much, eating too much, stuff like that.

I have had times in my life that were really bad though. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown once in a really bad situation. Within a span of 6 months, I got married, moved across the country from a place I had lived my entire life, and found out we were pregnant. Then my wife's father died, all the while I had been working a job that was horrible and brutal on my self-esteem, and our new house had issues that made it smell like sewage all the time. I finally cracked one day, confessed to my wife that I had been contemplating suicide. I quit the job the very next day and started seeing a counselor.

I would say it took nearly a year to get back to my "old self" but it still lingers. I have to watch myself to make sure I don't get into a rut.

Tips I've learned:

- Go outside, even if it's just a few minutes a day. Don't stay in the house from sunup to sundown. It might feel comfortable but being out of contact with nature/sunlight/other people is a major thing.

- Give yourself pep talks. Before getting into something that might make you feel uncomfortable or want to retreat to the safety of your comfy dark bedroom, tell yourself you can do this, you're worthy, you're a good person, etc. Sounds stupid doesn't it? But it works.

- Take a multivitamin. And eat fiber. A lot of depression/anxiety can be exaggerated because your diet is out of whack.

- Be around kids. One of the best things I ever did for myself was that I started volunteering at the YMCA and local library. Of course this only works if you like children, but being around kids helps you see the world without all the job/bills/chores and other daily bullcrap that suffocates you sometimes.

- Go do something outside of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. For example my wife dragged me to an amusement park at one point. I hate spinny rides and heights to the point of it almost being a phobia, but I still made myself do a few things. I realized that at the end of the day I felt great and it carried over for several days. I'm sure there's a scientific explanation, dopamine or something, but part of depression is that you can get too comfortable when you only do the certain few things that have become old hat.
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Old July 29 2013, 11:32 PM   #30
Mr. Laser Beam
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Re: Anyone else have depression?

A mild case, yes, I think I do have it.
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