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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old July 11 2013, 05:13 AM   #16
Triskelion
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Spock: You have the perfect amount of lowered expectations for a Vulcan.

Last edited by Triskelion; July 11 2013 at 07:59 AM.
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Old July 13 2013, 06:24 AM   #17
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Kirk: Man your station, Sulu.
Uhura: You can't say that Captain. The law is you have to use gender neutral words now. You have to say "Operate that station."
Kirk: So I can't say "Helmsman?"
Uhura: No sir. You have to say "Helm."
Kirk: "Brinksmanship?"
Uhura: Brinksoneship.
Kirk: "Where no man has gone before?"
Uhura: Where no she-he has gone before.
Kirk: "Seamen?"
Uhura: ...I'll let Sulu handle that one, sugar.
Kirk: "Woman?"
Uhura: Wo-Person.
Kirk: "Balls to the wall?"
Uhura: Genitals to the wall.
Kirk: "Manhole?"

...

...

Sulu: Street vagina.
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Old July 13 2013, 06:19 PM   #18
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Android #210: "Not all machines have their genitals in the same place."

Spock: "I shall continue to attempt to locate yours."

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Old July 13 2013, 08:38 PM   #19
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Chekov: Vell, Kyptin? Vat do you tink our chances are on Dancing Vith the Stars?
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For some great Original Series fanfic, check out the Valjiir Continuum!
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Old July 13 2013, 08:48 PM   #20
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Spock: "I find the way the rhythmic throbbing of your hydraulic fluid through this subcutaneous tubing mimics a human pulse fascinating."
Alice: "Oh, you silver-tongued devil, you."
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Old July 13 2013, 08:54 PM   #21
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



KIRK: Syncing that shock collar to the clapper was a great idea, Spock.
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old July 15 2013, 06:01 PM   #22
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Kirk: "So then Spock says, 'Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons.' ... Get it?"

Harry: "Laddie buck, you've finally done it. The Jokebot is destroyed."
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Old July 21 2013, 03:33 AM   #23
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption

Thanks for the tie, LeadHead!




McCoy: "I love these groovy Sixties mall furnishings."

Chekov: "It makes me vish ve could have a conwersation pit on the bridge."




Spock: (thinking) I'll just tell her my hand slipped.




All applauded the grisly spectacle as Chekov was hanged from a transparent aluminum fiber rope.




A veritable Billy Joel of the spacefaring set, Sulu was adept at handling the keyboard and harmonica at the same time.

Kirk: "We're all in the mood for a melody, Mr. Sulu."

Sulu: "Aye, sir."

Last edited by BoredShipCapt'n; July 21 2013 at 03:52 AM.
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Old July 21 2013, 03:43 AM   #24
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Kirk: "I just settled up your bill with the Madam. Just one girl for the four of you?"
Scotty: "Actually, Captain, we were goin' to hire one girl each...until Lieutenant Uhura said she wanted one, too. Then the rest of us canceled ours and asked if we could just watch!"
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Last edited by Jonas Grumby; July 21 2013 at 06:29 AM.
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Old July 21 2013, 05:27 AM   #25
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Kirk: Everything on the bridge gets into the black box.
Sulu: Mm-hm.
Uhura: Oh no he di'in't!
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Old August 3 2013, 03:52 PM   #26
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Captain's log: "Starfleet has gotten so cheap..."

Computer prompt: "How cheap has Starfleet gotten?"

Captain's log: "Ahem. As I was saying, Starfleet has gotten so cheap, it makes crew members get their dental x-rays while on duty."





Chekov: "See? You vere wery mistaken. Breakdancing is a waluable skill."





Kirk: "I've known hotheads, but this is ridiculous."
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Old August 18 2013, 02:22 AM   #27
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



Kirk: "Still waiting for another caption?"

Spock: "It has been quite some time. And I might point out that I have, thus far, been given only two lousy lines for this particular scene."

McCoy: "Three."
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Old August 18 2013, 02:48 AM   #28
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption

ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR "I, MUDD" WHICH THE NBC STANDARDS AND PRACTICES DEPARTMENT REJECTED:



Spock: I knew that my promise to teach you all my seduction neck pinch would bring the captain running! But you're SOL, Chekov... no seduction for you until you make Lt JG!



Chekov: Who needs a seduction neck pinch anyvays? My sexy Bolshoy dancing will have all the androids falling all over me!



Spock: Hmmm... the seduction pinch worked on the Stella series; why isn't it working on this one? She should have been out of that cocktail dress five minutes ago.

Android: I am not programmed to respond in that area.




Kirk: Norman, since I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life... have I told you that I like a change of pace now and then? Now, how did that seduction neck pinch Spock taught me go again?

Norman: MUST INITIATE SELF DISTRUCT!
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Old August 18 2013, 02:50 AM   #29
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption


Chekov: Do the Mario!


Kirk: What happened?
Mudd: He tried to comprehend all the posts on the Trekbbs.
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Old August 18 2013, 03:13 AM   #30
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #275: I, Caption



KIRK: Which one of you short sheeted my bed?
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