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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old July 21 2014, 12:15 AM   #1
LeadHead
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TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able

Hello everyone! New contest time!



First up to the plate, we have the "Shhhhh or we'll just leave you at DS9!" Award, going to:

AgentCoop wrote: View Post


Worf: Are we there yet?
Riker: No.
Worf: Are we there yet?
Riker: No.
Worf: Are we there yet?
Riker: No...
Next, we have the "Finding the truth" Award, going to:

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


DATA: And to think I thought she was a natural redhead.
Next, we have the "Mozilla Firefox" Award, going to:

Smellincoffee wrote: View Post

Riker: Slow down, Data, what was the next step?
Worf, grumbling: Every time Starfleet issues software updates for the fleet, the command crew has to be retaught to use the ship.
Next, we have the "Delegation of tasks" Award, going to:

JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


PICARD: Ahh, crap, it's the Klingons. Worf, find out whatever weird honor thing they're hung up on this time, I'll be in my ready room playing Candy Crush.
Next, we have the "And she took that knowledge to her grave..." Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Security Officer's log, supplemental: I found the ship's toilet and I couldn't be happier. Can't say the same for the rest of the bridge staff.
Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Ihlecreations wrote: View Post


Picard: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in this episode?
Worf: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
Picard: What happened to then?
Worf: We passed then.
Picard: When?
Worf: Just now. We're at now now.
Picard: Go back to then.
Worf: When?
Picard: Now.
Worf: Now?
Picard: Now.
Worf: I can't.
Picard: Why?
Worf: We missed it.
Picard: When?
Worf: Just now.
Picard: When will then be now?
Worf: Soon.
Picard: How soon?


Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Yar (voice over): "Chief Security Officer's log. There's nothing like a bout of Klingon flatulence to clear out a room! Unfortunately, Starfleet regulations insist that at least one security officer must be present on the bridge at all times. I hate this job!"


inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


Worf: So I saw Thunderbirds...
Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!











Enjoy!
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Old July 21 2014, 12:22 AM   #2
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Worf: Captain, incoming message from your brother.

Picard: Crap, I forgot his birthday again.



Troi: I sense that he really wishes you didn't need to put that so close to his eye.



Picard signaled Riker to order Data and Worf out of the room so that they'd have less competition once the delegation from Cheerleadia arrived.



Crusher: For the last time, I don't know where Wesley is!



This is what happens when you try to drink Worf under the table.
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Old July 21 2014, 01:21 AM   #3
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able


CRUSHER: Me? Being pregnant and hiding it?
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Old July 21 2014, 01:58 AM   #4
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able

TFTW, LeadHead!



Troi: "Eww!"
Crusher: "Deanna? Something wrong?"
Troi: "Let's just say that standing next to a teenaged boy being examined by a MILF is not the best place for an empath to be."




Riker: "Data was just telling us how he saw Premier Bhavani sneaking out of you quarters early this morning."
Picard: "Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse."
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Old July 21 2014, 03:10 AM   #5
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Picard: Whoah, Guinan I'm glad to see YOU too!
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Old July 21 2014, 04:00 AM   #6
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Riker: "Captain, look -- it's Diana's mother! You gotta hide! Captain?"
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Old July 21 2014, 04:17 AM   #7
JirinPanthosa
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



DATA. Inquiry. 'Cueball'.



BEVERLY: The boy said he hadn't been abused by the Tallarians, but scans indicate that they gave him a preppy 90's haircut.
TROI: When you mentioned the haircut, I sensed a wave of fear. Fear and humiliation. Oh god, the sexual frustration!



RIKER: See the woman behind me? The woman with the giant skull?
PICARD: Yeah?
RIKER: My 200th species.
PICARD: I was a young man once. Have you seen the list of Federation member worlds? The one on my wall?
RIKER: You mean the one with all the check marks? Oh wait...WAIT!
PICARD: Amateur.



BEVERLY: Wait, wait. You're staking your career on accusing Captain Picard of treason? *snrk*
PICARD: Now Beverly, be nice. They brought out their top overzealous witch-hunters.
BEVERLY: Heh, okay, I'll try to have fun with it.



WORF (Behind the table): NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
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Old July 21 2014, 05:25 AM   #8
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able


Picard: ``It's strange how the bridge feels like there's this big gaping void that's been filled ever since Troi went on leave.''



Crusher: ``For the last time, this is a sensitive instrument which measures your basic metabolism by means of normal exhalation. Stop licking it.''



Riker: ``Heeeey, good-looking, now you're someone who could really spruce up the bridge.''
Picard: ``Yes, I normally do, Number One.''



Crusher: ``Now, understand, for the actual show I'll have my ventriloquist dummy with me.''



``Boy, I'm glad I didn't wear the skant today.''
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Old July 21 2014, 07:20 AM   #9
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Beverly: "No, I've never seen Basic Instinct; why do you ask?"

Picard: "Mr. Worf, replicate a short tight dress immediately!"
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Old July 21 2014, 02:43 PM   #10
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Beverly: Here's a Talarian cadet. I talk to him. I don't even know if he can hear me, because he just sits there, all day long, in his own world, staring at that medical scanner. What's he thinking about?
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Old July 21 2014, 03:17 PM   #11
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Picard: I hearby call to order this meeting of the Enterprise's chapter of NO MA'AM.



Troi: Doctor Crusher, here's our Talarian guest. He'll be needing a physical.
Crusher: Excellent, excellent.
Troi: You'll be fine.
Crusher: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain. *Jono opens his mouth* No, no no no, not that mouth.
Jono: I only have one.
Crusher: Really? *looks at tricorder*
Jono: Umm, is there a Talarian doctor around?
Crusher: Young lady, I am an expert on Talarians. Now pick a mouth, open it, and say, "plplplplpplpl."
Jono: Um, ahem, "lblblblblblb."
Crusher: What? My mother was a saint! GET OUT!



Picard: Captain's Log: Riker is giving me that mutinous look again...



Crusher: Captain Picard's record as an officer? Okay, let's start with the misdemeanors and then, we're gonna' push right on through to the lighter treasons.



Here we see the results of imbibing the beverage Data was only able to identify as "it is green."

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Old July 21 2014, 04:51 PM   #12
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



How one got scoring assignments on ST: TNG.
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Old July 21 2014, 05:04 PM   #13
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



"Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal.
Send me a kiss by wire. Baby, my heart's on fire ..."
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Old July 21 2014, 05:31 PM   #14
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able



Picard (voice over): "Captain's Log. Mr. Data informs me that Lal is continuing to work on developing her interpersonal skills by working in Ten Forward. However, I have also learned that Counselor Troi has been loaning her some of her steamy romance novels. I should probably put a stop to that."
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Last edited by Jonas Grumby; July 21 2014 at 09:01 PM.
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Old July 21 2014, 07:00 PM   #15
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Re: TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able

TFTW Leadhead!



Picard: But who would leave a box of defenseless kittens out here in the Neutral Zone?
Worf: Arming photon torpedoes.
Riker: Seriously?




Crusher: If this oil deposit gets any bigger we'll have to start scrubbing ducks with toothbrushes.




Riker: This looks like the perfect opportunity to break out my 'bone.
Picard: Any chance he's talking about his genitals, Data?
Data: I am afraid not, sir.
Picard: Merde.




Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you Data's penis size.
Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you that Tasha Yar was never in any danger of dying from pleasure.




Guinan: Thanks Data, but I don't need a bottle opener.
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