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Old June 17 2013, 05:17 PM   #16
Spot's Meow
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

Hmm, not that I can think of. I tend to be able to see both sides of an argument pretty well, so there are few issues which I have really strong opinions about either way. The only slight change was, as Venardhi mentioned, more just a formation of my own opinions that happened to differ from that of my parents. I'm trying really hard to think of something, but I really can't. My belief system is pretty much the same.
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Old June 17 2013, 05:21 PM   #17
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

I used to be in favor of the death penalty, but now I'm against it.
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Old June 17 2013, 07:57 PM   #18
HaventGotALife
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

J. Allen wrote: View Post
I've changed my mind on a number of things. It will be easier for me if I give you a snapshot of me at two different ages:

Age: 18
Religion: Christian (Non-Denominational, Pentecostal)
Political Affiliation: Staunch Conservative (Republican)
Orientation: Straight*

Age: 33
Religion: None (Atheist, Secular Humanist)
Political Affiliation: Liberal (Independent)
Orientation: Pansexual/Bisexual

Why the change?

The Religion:

I was an ordained, Christian minister, raised in the Pentecostal tradition. My faith was steady and sure, built upon a foundation of trust, and the bedrock of the Bible. I had read it many times, and was absolutely certain of its promises. Now, over time, my faith did change, somewhat. I became ordained at 21, and followed in that fashion until about the age of 25. Around that time, I began to wonder if just maybe some of the things I learned as tradition were wrong. A big splinter in my side was homosexuality. I was unsure about its nature, and the passages I held fast to in the Bible weren't really clear. Oh, they seemed clear to others in my group, but to me, the passages in the New Testament were vague, and I had discarded the Old Testament passages because (a) the Old Testament was the Old Covenant, and (b) the passages were in a section of old rules and laws that never applied to Christians, much less pagans.

I would continue to doubt the veracity of others' studies regarding homosexuality for some time. This began to spread to other issues cited as absolute truth in the Bible. By the time I was 28, I had since become more of a Hippie Jesus kind of follower. I felt that when Jesus talked about loving mankind unconditionally, he really meant it, without provisos or addendums. "Judge not, lest ye be judged," and "Do unto others" became stronger narratives than spiritual legalism. That same year, I began to have serious doubts about my faith and where I stood.

I remember one day, while at work, I was repairing a computer, and I heard an audible "snap." I stopped what I was doing, stood straight up, and said out loud, "I don't believe any of it. It's not real."

That lasted a few weeks, and then I regained my faith, and I thought it was just as strong and sure as ever, but from that point forward, for months, I was plagued by questions, and as someone who always seeks out the truth, even if it is unpleasant, I had to follow those questions to find the answers, and when I finally re-evaluated my stance on faith, and what I believed, I found that I wasn't at all certain that any of it was real. That same week that this became a major issue, I purchased a copy of "The God Delusion," by Richard Dawkins.

I read it from beginning to end in one night, and I was surprised, because Richard was answering questions I had, and was giving me a different perspective on what I was experiencing; an outside perspective; one I desperately needed if I was to balance myself.

Finally, I had drawn my conclusions, that when it came to religion, I no longer believed. I was not a Christian, I was not a theist, I was an atheist, and at the moment, everything turned upside down, and a split second later became right side up. It felt completely natural. I am an atheist today, though I am also a secular humanist.

One thing that did not change in that process was my desire to help people. That continues to this day, as well. One of the reasons I don't automatically get frustrated with hardcore religious people is because I was there at one time, too. Don't get me wrong, back in school there were "devout" Christians who loved to push the Bible, hell, one guy used to hit people with his, right on the head. Some people are assholes regardless of their religion or lack thereof; but I honestly believed I was doing good, that I was helping people. I didn't have a hateful bone in my body. I thought I was doing the right thing, and while ignorance is no excuse, I do have compassion for people who honestly want to do good, and think what they're offering is love, even if it isn't.


The Political Affiliation:

This will be much shorter, as my perspectives on religion were the largest change. My political viewpoint changed over time as well. I became more liberal as I got older. When I was 20, I voted in my first Presidential Election. I voted for George W. Bush. I believed him to be a man of conservative values, and decency. I believed that with him at the helm, we would have a more fiscally conservative government, with more liberties untouched by the government.

This, of course, became a pipe dream rather quickly, following the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001. I watched as our rights were torn away in a pandemonium caked with fear and outrage. Even as I was furious for what happened to those innocent lives, I was ever cautious about being caught up in a frenzy where our rights would be stripped away in the name of safety. I was (and still am) an avid fan of history, and I was fully aware of what our founding fathers had to say about following the mob mentality, and tyranny of the majority. I gave Bush the benefit of the doubt, and hoped he would surround himself with intelligent advisers. This, of course, didn't happen, and I watched our rights get curtailed, and people just nodding along.

By the time of the 2004 election, I was having a crisis of political faith. The Republican party, and George Bush, had failed to do anything other than create a massive money pit, a sinkhole of patriotic jingoism, erosion of rights, and loss of lives. It was in the voting booth, after spending 20 minutes staring at the ballot, that I made my choice. I chose John Kerry, and told myself next election, I would give the Republicans a chance to wipe the slate clean.

Of course, as we know, Bush won a second term, and in that time, managed to further erode rights, destroyed our international reputation, kept us mired in war, and beat the ever loving hell out of our economy. So I watched and waited as John McCain made his stand, and it was more of the same. By that time, though, I had become moderate. I was no longer convinced either party was going to look out for anyone. Call it shaking out the naivete, if you like.

I did find Obama's message appealing, and I liked that he was an intelligent man, well spoken, technologically savvy, ideologically relevant, and I decided to vote for him. I did it again in 2012, though by that time I was very much liberal. Still, I didn't vote for him because he was a Democrat, I voted for him because a lot of his sentiments echoed my own, and yes, that's what good politicians do, but I do not hold myself to one political party.

I also found, by the time I was 28, that the politics of my faith had relaxed as well, and one of the reasons I had become liberal was because I had adopted the belief that rules and regulations, the letter of the law, was not to be taken so literally, that it was the spirit of the law that mattered more, and I even had the Biblical foundation to support it. Of course, at 28, things were about to change on that front, too.

Okay, that was long, too. Sorry.


The Orientation:
There is an asterisk on the first entry in my comparison at the top. There's a reason for that asterisk. I have been bisexual/pansexual my whole life, as far back as I can remember. It is simply that by the time I reached the age of 18, I was so terrified of it, that I had buried it deep down, and had convinced myself that I couldn't be anything other than 100% straight edge perfectly-hetero-in-every-way-bring-on-the-female-boobies male.

The truth is, though, I remember my first crush at 6. It was a girl. I remember my second crush at 9. It was a girl. I remember my third crush at 11. It was a boy.

Uh oh.

Sure was, and oh boy, that teaching of which had been ingrained in me about the evils of being gay, of having thoughts about someone of the same sex, that was a demon, child, a demon! You were being possessed by the hated lusts of the devil, and if you followed those lusts, even by doing nothing else aside from looking, Jesus knew, and you were going to burn in the eternal fires of hell, weeping, and gnashing your teeth.

Those feelings became much stronger by the time I was 13, and I found myself having serious infatuations with both boys and girls. I was panicking, because I was living more and more for God every day, but those feelings kept crushing down on me. I had convinced myself it was just Satan trying to take me and make me a bad person, because yes, I equated being gay with being a horrible, evil person. My parents never taught me that, but my pastors did. My friends at school who were fellow Christians did, and I believed them.

It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I began to deal with my orientation. There was a wonderful young man on this board, mostlyharmless, who was willing to take me through how it felt to be gay, what it was like to feel love towards someone of the same sex. Such a kind spirited person, I wish he'd visit here more often. He helped me realize that the emotions were the same, just directed towards different people, and I began to realize that I had put it together backwards. That was also around the time I had been seriously examining my faith, and finding all of the cracks and flaws in my "reasoning." As I've said before, I always want the truth, even if it's unpleasant. I'd rather know, and deal with that knowledge, than live in ignorance.

By my late 20s, I had come to terms with it, and by the age of 30, I had made peace with myself, due in part to all of the shaking up my worldview had taken over the previous number of years. So instead of religion, I began to study love, and to do what I had always done; seek to do good for other people. I consider love the most potent force for change on the planet, and that hasn't changed. I've just learned to refocus the source of that love, rather than its destination.

So there you have it. I have bored you all to death. Questions? Comments? Tea? Cookies? The cookies are delicious.
Wow. We have a lot in common. I was raised Catholic, was very devoutly religious, an altar boy, a boy scout, and went to mass every Sunday. My religious views didn't change all at once. I stopped going to mass for several reasons when I was 16-17-years-old. The first was that I read this book called "Conversations with God." It was promising that I could talk to the almighty, have full conversations with him. That I would receive wisdom and understanding that would guide me through turmoil and difficult decisions. I never did. For the first time in my life, I questioned why God had never talked to me. I thought I heard God's voice, but it was in my own voice, not his. I just assumed that was God. But what does his voice sound like? I felt so alone and afraid at that age, that I could do anything. And I acted about as far away from the tenets of the religion as I possibly could get.

My father was gay. He was a seminarian and left the priesthood struggling with his sexuality. Being that this was the 1970s, he went to a psychiatrist who said it was "Delayed adolescence" or some nonsense and told him to get married. A trained professional and all.

So, he did. And when he turned 42, he came out to my mother after struggling his entire marriage with the issue (12 years, 2 kids). He wasn't great to us after the divorce. He was in prison for a DUI (a year) and just left us kids for 3 1/2 years. I never forgave him, even when he came back, a move that I regret as he's been dead for 7 years. Anyway, all of that backstory is to tell you that my Dad was an atheist and a gay man. Because I hated him, I would change any behavior that I exhibited that remotely resembled my father. I hated him that much. And so as I struggled with my sexuality (Pansexual, accepted it when I was 10, talked out of it by the age of 12, ardently anti-gay at 16-18, mellowed considerably in 18-23 (that's when Dad died). Finally came to grips with it at age 24) and my political beliefs (Conservative to Liberal), I was always in competition with my father. We shared too much in common.

After Dad died, there wasn't that negative force. I tried to get to know myself better, what I liked and didn't, what I valued about life, and I learned a lot in the 5 years after his death. One thing: I tried to be a writer, reading voraciously, writing all day long, and I discovered I didn't have the talent to do so. I wasn't going to be happy. I came to grips with a lot of my adolescence and how I had treated people with my morality--my standards--instead of seeing them as human beings with lives and people who make mistakes. Forgiveness came, and I slowly started to ask myself what I really thought about the world--politics, social issues or our day, etc.

By this time, I was atheist and I never looked back. I am convinced that we created God, not the other way around. It's too perfect. You point to the sky and say "I didn't say that, God did" to get people to follow the rules. There's a perfect justice system in almost every religion where bad people are punished, and the good inherit paradise. There is no evidence one way or another for God to exist, and it sounds like a fairy tale to me. I think we should let people believe what they want to believe. If it keeps them sober or keeps them strong through difficult times, more power to them for believing in religion. But don't call me immoral for not being in your religion. Don't kill people because they don't meet your individual standard of what you think God said to do. That's just how I feel. If anyone disagrees, I will shake their hand, and move on. They are still my brother or my sister, but I won't be lectured when I got enough of that when I was growing up.

The Iraq War has a lot to do with why I am not a Republican anymore. I don't trust the hawks in that party to not do the same thing with Iran or Pakistan or China or Russia in the future. I don't like war, I've been touched by it in my family, and it chills my bones thinking that I supported a man that put Americans and Iraqis at risk for no reason. That's the most evil thing, in my book, you can do with that office (well, that's been done, genocide is worse). The other, is that being pansexual (considered evil) and atheist (considered evil) and valuing the rights and responsibilities of citizenship, even where money is concerned, and valuing all Americans, not some, I find it detestable some of the things said, and the way they govern, by the most outrageous members of the Republican Party. I simply don't agree that we don't need roads, or schools, or police, or social safety nets, and those things cost money. I believe in the infrastructure of society, and that's not a radical view. I also believe in civil liberties. And if there were two parties that believed those things, I would choose between them, but right now, the right is too full of businessmen that will cheat the middle class and rob our society (present and future) to do it. This anti-intellectualism that runs through the party is another thing I cannot tolerate. I was taught to reach for the stars, not belittle anyone who is different (or smarter) than I am.

So have I changed? I don't think so. I think I accept less of what someone tells me to do and try to find the answers myself, be committed to the truth, even if it hurts. That's new. But the personality, the sense of humor, the compassion for others (that I used to fight), all were just let out of the bag. Did I really change, I don't think so. I became more honest.
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Old June 17 2013, 08:18 PM   #19
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

I don't know?

I guess I'm less gung-ho about the death penalty than I use to be.

My views on Trek have definitely evolved though. In the old days, I made people like Warped9 look positively sane.
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Old June 17 2013, 08:29 PM   #20
J. Allen
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

HaventGotALife wrote: View Post
Wow. We have a lot in common. I was raised Catholic, was very devoutly religious, an altar boy, a boy scout, and went to mass every Sunday. My religious views didn't change all at once. I stopped going to mass for several reasons when I was 16-17-years-old. The first was that I read this book called "Conversations with God." It was promising that I could talk to the almighty, have full conversations with him. That I would receive wisdom and understanding that would guide me through turmoil and difficult decisions. I never did. For the first time in my life, I questioned why God had never talked to me. I thought I heard God's voice, but it was in my own voice, not his. I just assumed that was God. But what does his voice sound like? I felt so alone and afraid at that age, that I could do anything. And I acted about as far away from the tenets of the religion as I possibly could get.

My father was gay. He was a seminarian and left the priesthood struggling with his sexuality. Being that this was the 1970s, he went to a psychiatrist who said it was "Delayed adolescence" or some nonsense and told him to get married. A trained professional and all.

So, he did. And when he turned 42, he came out to my mother after struggling his entire marriage with the issue (12 years, 2 kids). He wasn't great to us after the divorce. He was in prison for a DUI (a year) and just left us kids for 3 1/2 years. I never forgave him, even when he came back, a move that I regret as he's been dead for 7 years. Anyway, all of that backstory is to tell you that my Dad was an atheist and a gay man. Because I hated him, I would change any behavior that I exhibited that remotely resembled my father. I hated him that much. And so as I struggled with my sexuality (Pansexual, accepted it when I was 10, talked out of it by the age of 12, ardently anti-gay at 16-18, mellowed considerably in 18-23 (that's when Dad died). Finally came to grips with it at age 24) and my political beliefs (Conservative to Liberal), I was always in competition with my father. We shared too much in common.

After Dad died, there wasn't that negative force. I tried to get to know myself better, what I liked and didn't, what I valued about life, and I learned a lot in the 5 years after his death. One thing: I tried to be a writer, reading voraciously, writing all day long, and I discovered I didn't have the talent to do so. I wasn't going to be happy. I came to grips with a lot of my adolescence and how I had treated people with my morality--my standards--instead of seeing them as human beings with lives and people who make mistakes. Forgiveness came, and I slowly started to ask myself what I really thought about the world--politics, social issues or our day, etc.

By this time, I was atheist and I never looked back. I am convinced that we created God, not the other way around. It's too perfect. You point to the sky and say "I didn't say that, God did" to get people to follow the rules. There's a perfect justice system in almost every religion where bad people are punished, and the good inherit paradise. There is no evidence one way or another for God to exist, and it sounds like a fairy tale to me. I think we should let people believe what they want to believe. If it keeps them sober or keeps them strong through difficult times, more power to them for believing in religion. But don't call me immoral for not being in your religion. Don't kill people because they don't meet your individual standard of what you think God said to do. That's just how I feel. If anyone disagrees, I will shake their hand, and move on. They are still my brother or my sister, but I won't be lectured when I got enough of that when I was growing up.

The Iraq War has a lot to do with why I am not a Republican anymore. I don't trust the hawks in that party to not do the same thing with Iran or Pakistan or China or Russia in the future. I don't like war, I've been touched by it in my family, and it chills my bones thinking that I supported a man that put Americans and Iraqis at risk for no reason. That's the most evil thing, in my book, you can do with that office (well, that's been done, genocide is worse). The other, is that being pansexual (considered evil) and atheist (considered evil) and valuing the rights and responsibilities of citizenship, even where money is concerned, and valuing all Americans, not some, I find it detestable some of the things said, and the way they govern, by the most outrageous members of the Republican Party. I simply don't agree that we don't need roads, or schools, or police, or social safety nets, and those things cost money. I believe in the infrastructure of society, and that's not a radical view. I also believe in civil liberties. And if there were two parties that believed those things, I would choose between them, but right now, the right is too full of businessmen that will cheat the middle class and rob our society (present and future) to do it. This anti-intellectualism that runs through the party is another thing I cannot tolerate. I was taught to reach for the stars, not belittle anyone who is different (or smarter) than I am.

So have I changed? I don't think so. I think I accept less of what someone tells me to do and try to find the answers myself, be committed to the truth, even if it hurts. That's new. But the personality, the sense of humor, the compassion for others (that I used to fight), all were just let out of the bag. Did I really change, I don't think so. I became more honest.
Wow! It's wonderful to see someone have such similar changes to my own. When I became more honest (as you put it) with myself, I thought for all the world that I was either stepping into a new world of opportunity, or right off a cliff. I couldn't decide, and I certainly didn't know what to expect at the time. Just as an aside, I also read "Conversations with God," though at the time, I was in ultra-fundamentalist mode, so I say the book as heretical.

Anyhoo, I am glad you have emerged a stronger person, one who is more honest with yourself. It's a great feeling. It's like removing an anvil off your chest. I hope you don't mind a hug, because you're getting one.

[HUG]

Also, to tsq, what a good idea for a thread!
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Old June 17 2013, 08:40 PM   #21
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

I think I'm like many others here where I haven't done some fast, extreme switch but rather my ideas and opinions have evolved over the years. I didn't have strong opinions when I was younger and I've gotten a little more certain about some of them, and in social issues I have definitely grown more strongly liberal.

Many people are mentioning religion here. I was raised in a theist household, I've gone through periods where I experimented with atheism, and these days I'm a pretty comfortable theist.

Growing up I had a narrower view of not just myself but also what my life would be like. I thought I had to follow a specific script and was always really hard on myself when I failed to. These days I'm reasonably comfortable with the fact that life can change in an instant. While I'm sure there are many challenges ahead, I don't have such strict expectations for myself. I think this attitude made it easier to deal with my marriage ending because I didn't instantly go into "My life is over" mode.

The area with the most extreme change would be just being less judgmental in general. I think that posting on internet forums is directly involved in that. In real life I tend to hang out with a more conservative group of people and we can often be superficial. Meeting people online opened up my social interactions with groups that I would never have really crossed paths with in real life. As a result, I found my own opinions changing but also I sometimes say things in real life now when someone mocks someone else. I probably don't speak up as much as I should, but I'll get there. I think it's a good improvement and it just feels right to me, to be more understanding and less judgmental.
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Old June 17 2013, 08:58 PM   #22
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

^Kestra, I believe you summed up some of what I was going to say rather well. Change for me as well has been somewhat more gentle.

I've found it takes experience to change perceptions about big things. Marriage equality... I can't say honestly that I was always supportive of it, but now, I regard it as necessary. Why have civil unions in the US when it'll be marriage anyway? It's silly not to call it what it's going to be.

As for religion... I've found my views weren't that rigid to begin with. Some of my family was more flexible and didn't force me to view one exact way. I'm an unusual person in that regard, looking for similarities between religious faiths rather than so many differences that I know are there. I think that truly started when I was in seventh grade.
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Old June 17 2013, 09:14 PM   #23
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

TSQ, great topic! J. Allen and others, thank you for telling your stories.

Pthalo BlueMoon wrote: View Post
Yep.

I used to be a leftist (bordering on socialist) first wave feminist. True story. I was so liberal that, when I go back and read old threads, I want to slap some sense into me!
Pthalo BlueMoon, I officially declare you the TrekBBS's oldest living member!
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Old June 17 2013, 10:28 PM   #24
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

I think I also used to be against universal health care. Now I've done a total flip-flop and am now in favor of a flat-out balls-to-the-wall single-payer system. That's as socialist as I dare get!
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Old June 17 2013, 11:34 PM   #25
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

HaventGotALife wrote: View Post
I think I accept less of what someone tells me to do and try to find the answers myself, be committed to the truth, even if it hurts.
I learned this very quickly when I was a kid.

As a kid, I was somewhat of a compulsive fibber, where I was led to believe I was getting away with everything. My parents didn't confront me directly on it, but pretty much it seemed like I was being thwarted by them indirectly on just about everything I was fibbing about. When I was older as an adult, my parents eventually told me outright they knew all along what I was doing, but didn't want to directly rain on my parade. (Essentially they were practicing some form of "reverse psychology" on me. I had to figure things out on my own through repeated failures).

As a byproduct of all this, from an early age I was able to figure out the likelihood of whether somebody was lying to me in person, and I became skeptical of stuff anybody said to me. Largely in my own mind, I was always thinking: "Is this the type of lie (or omission) I would have said in this situation?"

When I was a teenager and young adult, I was frequently confronting acquaintances, friends, speakers, teachers, etc ... on what they said, if I suspected they were being misleading or outright lying. (This was the in days before the internet and google). It shouldn't be too surprising that I was a very unpopular person, and didn't have many close friends when I was younger.

Through adulthood, it took me a long time to eventually figure out how human behavior and etiquette functioned in practice. Essentially I gradually went from being a "Sheldon Cooper" know-it-all type person (from the tv show "Big Bang Theory"), to behaving as a "normal" and semi-inconspicuous person.

I eventually came to the realization that many people over age 30 generally do not change their minds easily. So these days, I don't even bother attempting to confront somebody on whether they are being misleading or outright wrong. It is largely an exercise in futility. Other people have to figure things out for themselves on their own.


Over the last few years of going through an extended mid-life crisis, I've been starting to see the wisdom of how my parents raised me.
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Old June 18 2013, 12:52 AM   #26
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

jayceee wrote: View Post

I eventually came to the realization that many people over age 30 generally do not change their minds easily. So these days, I don't even bother attempting to confront somebody on whether they are being misleading or outright wrong. It is largely an exercise in futility. Other people have to figure things out for themselves on their own.
What would be an example of someone being misleading or wrong that you wouldn't confront? I'm missing something here because there are certainly ways to tell someone they are incorrect without making it about confronting them.
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Old June 18 2013, 01:13 AM   #27
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

As a teenager, I supported the death penalty. It seemed the best way to get rid of unwanted criminals to me at the time.

Since then, I've switched from being uncommitted to any religious view to being an atheist, which has altered my views on the morality of ending a life. Perhaps even more important on this issue, I've learned that (unlike the promises of many politicians) the death penalty is an ineffective deterrent, a more expensive sentence than life in prison, and an unequally applied sentence in terms of race and class.

Yeah, I'm certainly against it now.
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Old June 18 2013, 01:13 AM   #28
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

teacake wrote: View Post
What would be an example of someone being misleading or wrong that you wouldn't confront? I'm missing something here because there are certainly ways to tell someone they are incorrect without making it about confronting them.
Every now and then, I have friends who attempt to talk me into investing in a new business, some real estate, other investments, etc ...

When I was younger, I would have wasted their time by challenging their business plan, estimated numbers, etc ... by firing off repeated volleys of hard questions. In the past, I generally saw it as the equivalent of an intellectual sparring match or "bloodsport". (In the end after all the sparring, I would still say no to their requests).

Today, I will just let them know right away that I am not interested at all. I generally now stop myself from entering a "Sheldon Cooper" state of mind, and cut to the chase immediately.
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Old June 18 2013, 03:49 AM   #29
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

lurok wrote: View Post
Less idealistic and optimistic.
ALOT less, yes. Me too.

Also, as I got older, I found my beliefs turning away from liberalism and more conservitive. I'm now convinced that it's an age thing. I actually saw it happen to the adults in my life when I was growing up, but, naturally, being young, I didn't understand what I was seeing. But once it started happening to me, I understood it completely.

Alot of younger folks I meet make the mistake of thinking this means that I started out as a Democrat and am now a Republican. Not true. I've never had much faith in EITHER party, and I can't imagine that I ever will.
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Old June 18 2013, 04:09 AM   #30
teacake
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

jayceee wrote: View Post
teacake wrote: View Post
What would be an example of someone being misleading or wrong that you wouldn't confront? I'm missing something here because there are certainly ways to tell someone they are incorrect without making it about confronting them.
Every now and then, I have friends who attempt to talk me into investing in a new business, some real estate, other investments, etc ...

When I was younger, I would have wasted their time by challenging their business plan, estimated numbers, etc ... by firing off repeated volleys of hard questions. In the past, I generally saw it as the equivalent of an intellectual sparring match or "bloodsport". (In the end after all the sparring, I would still say no to their requests).

Today, I will just let them know right away that I am not interested at all. I generally now stop myself from entering a "Sheldon Cooper" state of mind, and cut to the chase immediately.
I still troll them if it's Amway. But otherwise, I get what you're saying. Better things to do with time.
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