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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Entertainment & Interests > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Doctor Who

Doctor Who "Bigger on the inside..."

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Old June 8 2013, 10:05 PM   #1
FreddyE
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Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

I just finished writing a Doctor Who short story called "Ouroboros". I would appreciate if anybody would read it and post comments and suggestions.

Here we go:

Ouroboros

All her muscles were aching and the heat was almost unbearable. "It will be fun, a little adventure trip thru the jungle", the Doctor had said. Maria cursed this whole damn jungle planet the Doctor had the TARDIS landed on. If only they hadn´t come here. If only she had seen the little venomenous snake that had bitten the Doctor in his ankle. "It will be alright, I just have to keep going and get him to the TARDIS", the tall, muscular 26 year old spanish Maria thought while she was carrying the unconscious Doctor towards the TARDIS.

She had been travelling with the Doctor for over a year now and she had seen lots of strange and scary things...Daleks, Cyberman...and the strangest but also most beautiful of all: She had wittnessed the wonder of regeneration. She had seen the Doctor change into a black haired man and a very cute face. To her, he seemed to be about 23 years old. And boy was he hot.

Finally they reached the TARDIS, she opened the door with the key the Doctor had entrusted to her and carefully laid him onto the floor. "Doctor, come on...please, wake up!", she cried out. After what seemed a long time, he finally opened his eyes. His gaze was strange, as if he was looking right thru her. His voice was week and raspy when he said: "Thank you for...bringing me here. But it wont...", a strange gurgling sound from his mouth interrupted his sentence. "...but it wont change anything. I´m dieing.", he said. "Well, then you will just regenerate again, right?", Maria asked hopefully. The Doctors voice now sounded very tired and very sad. "I´m sorry Maria. I can´t. The regeneration you saw...it was the last available to me...after twelve regenerations its finally time for me to really go. Don´t cry...I had a very long live. My only reget...with the last of the time lords gone, there will be no one left to protect the innocent and time and...", suddenly the light in the TARDIS dimmed. Parts of the ceiling fell down and the TARDIS main console went dark. A strange, lonley and frightening high pitched sound echoed from the walls of the room, as if the TARDIS itself was crying. "Doctor...what´s happening?!", Maria cried in alarm. The Doctors voice was almost drowned by the infernal noise. "The TARDIS and I share a symbotic bond..if I die...it dies to...Maria, go..go now, leave while you still can. Try to have a good live.", then the Doctors head rolled to the side and he was silent. The cloister bell started ringing, but after only a few seconds the bell stopped appruptly. It seemed to have gotten much colder in the room now. Maria frantically put her head on the Doctors breast and listened for a heart beat while she tried to find a pulse. After a few moments she was sure...the Doctor was dead. "No!!", she cried, her face wet with tears. "I never even got to tell you...I never even got to tell you that I love you!"

Rose woke up from her sleep. Her face wet from crying.
Susan felt a sudden and sharp pain in her head, then she new. And cried.
Donna sat at her kitchentable and ate a cake when she suddenly felt very strange and nauseous. Then suddenly she knew....she remembered, she remembered and knew and she was bloody furious! "How could that son of a bitch...!"
Rose, Susan and Donna felt beeing pulled away.

Maria had no more tears left to cry...then suddenly, she felt at piece. There was a strange, warm and confident feeling in her as she stood up and looked about. Little bits of strange sparkling energy had appeared around her. Now those tiny sparks multiplied and started to take shape. Finally they turned into to solid, living people of lots of different ages. Some seemed to belong into different time periods. Together they stood in a cirlce around the Doctors body. Maria recognised a girl standing next to her. Her name was Rose, the Doctor had told her about her and shown her pictures. To her left was a girl called Martha, next a woman the Doctor had seemed to be very sad about, called Donna. Maria realised that all those people that had appeared had to be the Doctors former companions. Nobody moved, nobody said anything. But everybody cried.

The tears of so many people made the Doctors body very wet...and then...it happened. The Doctors body started to slowly rise into the air. Little blue sparkles appearing around him, the sparkles multiplied and formed ribbons of light. Then the ribbons wrapped themselves around the Doctors body more and more, until he was enveloped by a coccoon of beautiful light. "So this is what happens when a Time Lord dies?", Maria wondered.

The coccoon now turned upright and decended onto the floor. Then with a very quick flash of bright blue light the cocoon vanished. Before them stood a man...no..a boy...he seemed to be about 15 or 16 years old. And he was grinning, his face was one awesome happy grin. He seemed a bit absent minded as he pulled down a bit of his short hair and exclaimed in delight "Finally! I´m ginger!". It was a miracle...the Doctor was alive.

The Doctors companions smiled and vanished to wherever they had come from.

"Doctor!", Maria cried as they shared an embrace. "This is cool! I never thought this could happen", the Doctor said happily. "But WHAT..happended..." Maria asked. "Well....you know, I told you that whoever travels in the TARDIS is infused with residual Artron energy, right? Strange thing this Artron stuff...sometimes reacts to strong emotions...makes stuff happen. The strong emotions you felt for me activated your Artron energy and it managed to find all my prior companions and brought them here across time and space...actually..in one case even from another universe. Everyone was crying for me...and everyones Artron energy activated, combined, multiplied......et voila, what do you know, isn´t this cool? I was revived and regenerated. And if I´m not very mistaken my dear..." he fiddeled with some TARDIS controles, which seemed to have turned back to normal..."..AHA! Cool thing, I even got an entire new cycle of regenerations, NOT counting the one that happened while I was beeing revived, reinstated, reborn, re-timey-whimied...or what the hell you might call it.. Hey..I should think of a cool new word for this...", the Doctors babbling was interrupted by a knock on the TARDIS doors. "Well my dear, it seems we have guest. Shoudn´t we let him in?". Maria opend the door. In front of the TARDIS was a man, or more like a strange man-creature. Walking on his hands and feet. His hair was white and dirty, he was old...very very old, he barley had skin on his bones...and then there was that infernal stench...as if he had spent who knows how long in a sewer. Then the man spoke...or maybe a better word was "croaked"...."10 Million Years....in a sewer....".

The Doctor slammed the door shut before the man could come in. Then Maria heared the TARDIS dematerialisation noise...it seemed the TARDIS had guessed what the Doctor wanted to do. "Yeah, exactly what I was thinking you cool Sexy...my Sexy.", he said. "Where are we going?", Maria asked. The Doctor grinned and answered: "We need to bribe an architect..."

Last edited by FreddyE; June 8 2013 at 10:06 PM. Reason: typo
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Old June 9 2013, 03:01 AM   #2
auntiehill
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Re: Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

FreddyE, if you want comments on your fanfic, you would be better off posting this in the FanFic section of the Trek Fandom forum. Just label it Non-Trek fic and post it there. They accept all kinds of fanfic, so don't let the forum title scare you away. You will find people there willing to give you comments and pointers.
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Old June 9 2013, 04:18 AM   #3
Mr. Adventure
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Re: Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

I'll leave the actual fan fiction critique to those who know that stuff but my advice is to not use Ouroboros or Endgame as a title. Heck, even that K9 series has an episode titled Ouroboros. Pet peeve of mine...sorry for the snark.
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Old June 9 2013, 10:41 PM   #4
publiusr
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Re: Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

I was thinking Full Metal Alchemist myself
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Old June 9 2013, 10:45 PM   #5
Ar-Pharazon
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Re: Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

Mr. Adventure wrote: View Post
I'll leave the actual fan fiction critique to those who know that stuff but my advice is to not use Ouroboros or Endgame as a title. Heck, even that K9 series has an episode titled Ouroboros. Pet peeve of mine...sorry for the snark.
Would the Doctor regenerate into a baby Lister and be found under a pool table????
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Old June 11 2013, 10:28 AM   #6
FreddyE
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Re: Doctor Who Short Story - Ouroboros

auntiehill wrote: View Post
FreddyE, if you want comments on your fanfic, you would be better off posting this in the FanFic section of the Trek Fandom forum. Just label it Non-Trek fic and post it there. They accept all kinds of fanfic, so don't let the forum title scare you away. You will find people there willing to give you comments and pointers.

Thanks. Could a mod please move this thread over there?
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