RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 140,093
Posts: 5,432,402
Members: 24,931
Currently online: 524
Newest member: emogs

TrekToday headlines

The Red Shirt Diaries #8
By: T'Bonz on Oct 20

IDW Publishing January Comics
By: T'Bonz on Oct 20

Retro Review: Chrysalis
By: Michelle on Oct 18

The Next Generation Season Seven Blu-ray Details
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

CBS Launches Streaming Service
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

Yelchin In New Indie Thriller
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

Saldana In The Book of Life
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

Cracked’s New Sci-Fi Satire
By: T'Bonz on Oct 16

Beltran Introduces Shakespeare To Theater Group
By: T'Bonz on Oct 16

Burton To Be Honored at Facets Boo! Bash
By: T'Bonz on Oct 16


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old April 21 2013, 04:26 AM   #1
The Illusive Man
LeadHead's Cerberus Title
 
The Illusive Man's Avatar
 
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

Hello everyone! Before my apologies for my tardiness, lets gets some winners on the board!




First up to the plate, the "Screw Diplomacy" Award, going to:

shivkala wrote: View Post


Picard: Mr. Worf, loathe as I am to admit it, diplomacy, at least in this case, isn't working. Phaser the sonuvabitch!
Next, we have the "WHOOPS!" Award, going to:

Herkimer Jitty wrote: View Post


Geordi: "LaForge to Picard, we've had a database error and all the beverages have been replaced with laxatives! Might want to keep away from the replicator."
Next, we have the "Oh, dear..." Award, going to:

Isis wrote: View Post


Riker: "I see that Lwaxana made it, but her clothes didn't."

Picard: "Just kill me now, Number One."
Next, we have the "OUCH!" Award, going to:

Holdfast wrote: View Post


FRAKES: Look Denise, it's your future career path!
Next, we have the "Touchy situations" Award, going to:

Gil T.Azell wrote: View Post


Picard: Admiral, may I request that Mr. Laforge take over you've had the right blinker on for a distance of 1,000 light years.


inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


Captain's Log: Stardate 41...errr lets see, there's a 1000 stardates in a year, we're three months into the year and five and a half hours into the day mean it's... Christ, why can't we use real dates?
Two great photoshops fought it out in my brain and I couldn't choose. Both win!

Gep Malakai wrote: View Post


"You guys got a 'Skywalker' up there?"
And...

Finn wrote: View Post


Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Picard: "I assure you--in all seriousness--it is a weapon! Now, I suggest you stop laughing and raise you hands like Mr. Worf said!"

Many thanks to all of our participants and congratulations to our winners!

So, times are busy in the crazy world of LeadHead, and will be for the next month. I'll do my best to be punctual, but I doubt I'll be entirely successful. So please bear with me while I go through the busy times.

Thanks!

And now, a new contest!











Enjoy!
__________________
Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
The Illusive Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 04:32 AM   #2
The Illusive Man
LeadHead's Cerberus Title
 
The Illusive Man's Avatar
 
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

\

Picard: Engage.

Riker: To where?

Picard: Whoops.




Data: While you're in there, could you program her to like whatever I get her for mothers day?




Worf: Captain. MRS. TROI?!




The crew went to extreme measures to keep the ships chocolate supply safe from Troi.



Picard: Perhaps it would be best if you left us alone and just mind controlled Wesley...
__________________
Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
The Illusive Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 07:25 AM   #3
Insp.LeStrange
Rear Admiral
 
Insp.LeStrange's Avatar
 
Location: tRiSkeliOn
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Picard: Dibs.
Ro: Oh no he di'in't!




Data: I'm confused. I thought the patient was required to be pantsless for this procedure.

Geordi & Crusher: <
Pretend not to hear>




Worf: Did you wash your hands? And do not say -

Picard: No! Captain's prerogative! <Wipes hand on Worf's sash>




Troi: It's some kind of - force field!

<Data & O'Brien eyeroll each other>




Picard: Ugly bags of mostly water! Prepare for destruction! Ha, just yankin' your chain. Whassup?
Insp.LeStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 01:54 PM   #4
shivkala
Rear Admiral
 
shivkala's Avatar
 
Location: Patrolling Sector 2814
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

Thanks, as always, for the win!



Picard: Lay in a course for Alpha Trion 3, Ensign. Eng---er, Number One, why is our navigator facing the wrong way?



Geordi: Data? Are you sure this is supposed to be Dr. Soong's wife?

Data: Yes, Geordi. Why do you ask?

Geordi: Well, she has a lot of sex doll subroutines programmed into her neural net...



Worf's plan to blow off work with two crew members to get an early start to the weekend hit a snag.



Possessed Troi: Did you two know about this forcefield?

Possessed Data: Of course.

Possessed Troi: And you couldn't warn me? Why?

Possessed O'Brien: For the lulz!



The 24th century version of "The Little Man Who Lives in the Refrigerator and Turns on the Light When You Open the Door," it's "The Alien Who Lives in the View Screen and Turns it on When Commanded."
__________________
"When I reach for the edge of the universe, I do it knowing that along some paths of cosmic discovery, there are times when, at least for now, one must be content to love the questions themselves." --Neil deGrasse Tyson
shivkala is online now   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 02:41 PM   #5
Geoff Peterson
Fleet Admiral
 
Geoff Peterson's Avatar
 
Location: 20 feet from an outlet
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Troi began to suspect there was more in the brownies than chocolate.



PICARD: Conan, we wanted to let you know that Leno is actually leaving this time....



PICARD: You might want to let that air out for a while.



PICARD: Ahem.....

RIKER: I'll have her remove it immediately
__________________
Nerys Myk
Geoff Peterson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 03:05 PM   #6
bullethead
Fleet Captain
 
bullethead's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy


The Enterprise's high navigator turnover rate meant that Ro surviving threw everyone for a loop.


Geordi: Let's see... 50 teraquads of documentaries, 200 teraquads of porn, 30 teraquads of scientific knowledge...
Riker: Dr. Soong had some interesting... priorities.


No one expected the Picard Inquisition.


Captain's Log, supplemental: Having overshot my intended target time and date of return from the Nexus, I have decided to take steps to prevent the destruction of the Enterprise-D.


Picard: Did you honestly think you would win? You're just a butt-headed alien of the week. Your people will never be seen or referred to after this episode, while we will get 7 TV seasons, 4 movies, and countless novels. We have something you will never have - the support and backing of the writers... and liberal amounts of plot shielding.


Deep in the recesses of Paramount's studios, a cabal of executives are responsible for approving and vetoing the TNG creative staff's ideas. Today's topic: whether Data should wear a red shirt.
__________________
A business man and engineer discuss how to launch a communications satellite in the 1960s:
Biz Dev Guy: Your communications satellite has to be the size, shape, and weight of a hydrogen bomb.
bullethead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 03:15 PM   #7
The Laughing Vulcan
Admiral
 
The Laughing Vulcan's Avatar
 
Location: At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Picard: "Make her sew."
Ro: "I ain't no goddamn seamstress!"



Data: "Perhaps you should reconfigure the secondary neural net buffer to handle multiphase processing and ease the burden off the primary buffers."
Riker: "I still reckon all she needs is a good lube job."
Crusher: "That what you said about Deanna when she was in here with a headache last month."
Riker: "It worked, didn't it?"
LaForge: "Stop back seat engineering!"



"Captain's Personal Log. I have located the one spot on the bridge where a shadow is cast that makes it look as if I still have a head of hair. The downside is that the port turbolift will now be out of commission as long as I remain Captain of the Enterprise."



Data: "Nice ass."
Troi: "Thanks... About this forcefield..."



What's the point of buying an HD screen if all you get is SD channels!
__________________
"Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end."

Anime @ MyReviewer
The Laughing Vulcan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 21 2013, 04:01 PM   #8
Yuckleberry Finn
Vice Admiral
 
Yuckleberry Finn's Avatar
 
Location: Finn
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

Thanks for the 'shop win




Geordi: *thinking* Nobody is the wiser. Only if they knew I was using this thing to download her thoughts and emotion database. Barclay and I will be able to pick up women in no time after a couple hours in the holodeck
Yuckleberry Finn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 01:56 AM   #9
Holdfast
Procul, O procul este profani!
 
Holdfast's Avatar
 
Location: 17 Cherry Tree Lane
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

TFTW, LeadHead!





PICARD (to RIKER): Pull my finger.
RIKER: No way; I've seen this one before.
PICARD (to RO): Pull my finger.
RO: You're a disgusting old man, you know that?





DATA: ... so he said, "woah there Doc, I'm no brain surgeon" and she said, "don't worry, neither am I", and then they just cracked her open and got to work.
RIKER: Hmm, well, it sure sounds like the start of a joke, but I don't think we're going to get a funny ending.





PICARD: You might want to give it a few minutes before going in there.





Lost TNG Episode #184: The crew get trapped within a mysterious alien snowglobe. Troi attempts to communicate telepathically with it, with unexpected but hilarious consequences.
Holdfast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 05:48 AM   #10
Insp.LeStrange
Rear Admiral
 
Insp.LeStrange's Avatar
 
Location: tRiSkeliOn
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Riker: Captain, what are you doing?
Picard: I'm crushing her head!
Riker: You're pinching her puppies, aren't you.
Picard: Tee hee!




Crusher: Careful, Geordi. You burned out her spare emotion chip.
Geordi: I don't want to be late for lunch, it's green jello day.
Data:...?




Worf: Was there any green jello left?
Picard: Sorry, there were only six. Maybe next year.
Worf: I SHOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!
Picard: I wish you would, that was too much jello!




Troi: I'm serious. One little blinky light to tell you there's an active forcefield. Instead of people bumping into them nose first all the time.

O'Brien: An engineer's gotta get laughs somehow.
Insp.LeStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 05:59 AM   #11
Geoff Peterson
Fleet Admiral
 
Geoff Peterson's Avatar
 
Location: 20 feet from an outlet
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



RO (thinking) In a different universe, I'd frakking kill both of them.



DATA: Odd, she only came in for a trim and color touch up.
__________________
Nerys Myk
Geoff Peterson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 03:18 PM   #12
The Laughing Vulcan
Admiral
 
The Laughing Vulcan's Avatar
 
Location: At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Riker: "The pull my finger gag again, sir?"
Picard: "No, just pointing. Learned my lesson from that brat Wesley. He wouldn't stop pulling until I sharted!"
__________________
"Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end."

Anime @ MyReviewer
The Laughing Vulcan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 03:39 PM   #13
Geoff Peterson
Fleet Admiral
 
Geoff Peterson's Avatar
 
Location: 20 feet from an outlet
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



RIKER: She's Bajoran, sir. An apparently well known race we've never heard of until right now.

PICARD: Ah, I see. Carry on.
__________________
Nerys Myk
Geoff Peterson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 22 2013, 05:36 PM   #14
Jonas Grumby
Vice Admiral
 
Jonas Grumby's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy

TFTW, LeadHead!



Picard: "Will, look at this! Is that Ensign Ro manning Ops?"
Riker: "No, sir! That's your finger!"
Picard (sighs): "Idiot."
__________________
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
Jonas Grumby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 23 2013, 12:09 AM   #15
Insp.LeStrange
Rear Admiral
 
Insp.LeStrange's Avatar
 
Location: tRiSkeliOn
Re: TNG Caption This! 312: Bring on the comedy



Picard: What is the meaning of this?
Riker: Sorry, sir. There weren't any naive twenty year olds on the transport this week.
Insp.LeStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:21 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.