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Old August 6 2014, 08:21 PM   #1
Joe Washington
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Location: Providence, Rhode Island, United States
David Lynch's Star Wars

I just had a crazy idea for a latest what-if scenario: what if David Lynch had directed the original Star Wars trilogy? Do you imagine would have been his vision of that sci-fi world and its characters?
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Old August 6 2014, 09:14 PM   #2
Silvercrest
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Well... all the aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina would be more disturbing.

And let's not talk about Jabba's palace.

Come to think of it, let's not talk about Jabba.
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Old August 6 2014, 09:17 PM   #3
Captaindemotion
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

He was one of those under consideration to direct ROTJ, along with the equally improbable and equally David-esque Mr Cronenberg:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wa...rn_of_the_Jedi
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Old August 6 2014, 09:24 PM   #4
Silvercrest
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Let's definitely not talk about a Cronenberg Jabba.
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Old August 6 2014, 09:28 PM   #5
ManOnTheWave
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Cronenberg Sarlaac would turn you off sex forever.

Or physical contact of any sort.

Or life.
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Old August 6 2014, 09:37 PM   #6
Silvercrest
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Cronenberg Sarlaac
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Old August 6 2014, 10:43 PM   #7
Captaindemotion
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Cronenberg Han Solo would emerge from carbonite buck naked and have a bone-crunching fight with Jabba's henchmen.
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Old August 7 2014, 04:11 AM   #8
BeatleJWOL
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

well...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PALjbTo1D5U
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Old August 7 2014, 05:34 PM   #9
ManOnTheWave
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

I really like the idea of Lynch directing the cave scene from Empire.

Luke enters the cave. He draws his lightsaber at the sight of a shadow resembling Vader. It crumbles in his hand. His hands begin to melt. His face melts off. A puddle of goo is drawn away from his now empty clothes and reforms as a malevolent Luke Skywalker dressed in black. He examines his flexing fist only to see the flesh burn away revealing bloody charred bones. He screams as his arms and legs burns away while bits of armor and circuitry creep up his body. Unseen voices yell in backwards voices. Obi Wan appears and coldy muffles his last cries while placing Darth Vaders mask on Luke's head. The backward voices chant.

Ext. The cave.

Yoda: What did you see?

Luke: I shit my pants.
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Old August 7 2014, 08:26 PM   #10
BigJake
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

That was good.
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Old August 7 2014, 08:33 PM   #11
ManOnTheWave
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Always happy to please.
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Old August 8 2014, 02:41 PM   #12
The Wormhole
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

I'm just picturing Luke dancing with a tuantaun while a traffic light swings above them.
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Old August 8 2014, 03:11 PM   #13
Captaindemotion
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Would Vader's mask look like Dennis Hopper's gas mask (or whatever it was) in Blue Velvet?
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Old August 8 2014, 10:30 PM   #14
publiusr
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

"Ohhh....Padme."

Now who would Brad Dourif be in this picture?

I can see Isabella Rossellini as Leia very easily
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Old August 8 2014, 10:49 PM   #15
Asbo Zaprudder
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Re: David Lynch's Star Wars

Captaindemotion wrote: View Post
Would Vader's mask look like Dennis Hopper's gas mask (or whatever it was) in Blue Velvet?
In the script it was supposed to be helium to give Frank a high-pitched voice (I shit you not); Hopper thought it should be amyl nitrate instead and convinced Lynch to adopt this suggestion. Apparently, Hooper later thought that the helium idea would have been better after all.

Really, I'm glad Lynch didn't make any Star Wars movies -- I would now be as obsessed by them as people younger than me who watched the original IV, V, and VI during their childhoods. A guild navigator with its vulvic mouth would have been a much better Jabba the Hutt.
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