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The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old March 8 2013, 04:48 AM   #1
The Illusive Man
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TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel

Hello everyone! Thanks very much for your patience in my starting this contest, I have a good reason, which will be clear further down this post. Lets get things started!




First up to the plate, we have the "Special Guests in the new Star Wars Movies" Award, going to:

Vassa wrote: View Post

New Cantina scene from Abram's upcoming Star Wars movie.
Next, we have the "Be careful what you wish for" Award, going to:

inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


Data: ...and that is the intersection on the ven diagram between those who wish you had directed Star Trek: Nemesis and those who have seen Thunderbirds.
Next, we have the "Pride Overload" Award, going to:

shivkala wrote: View Post


Will and Thomas: I can't stay mad at you, you handsome bastard!
Next, we have the "Which Version are we talking about?" Award, going to:

JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


TROI: Beverly, you know the movie Karate Kid isn't real karate, right?
BEVERLY: Next time the ship is invaded, CRANE KICK!
Next, we have the "Priorities" Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


While you're down there get my frisbee!
The Photoshop Award, goes to:

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


CRUSHER: I don't see how this will help me resolve my issues with Jean-Luc.

TROI: Use the puppet Beverly



Ln X wrote: View Post

Captain's log supplemental: The hunt continues for a swarm of spiders which turns my crew into a bunch of sissies...


Mistral wrote: View Post


"Damn, turkeys really can't fly!"

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners! And now, I promised to explain my lateness in starting this up, well typically I have an opportunity on the weekend to end one contest and start another. Well, I didn't have that time last weekend, because I was going to see this guy...



10 points to the first person to figure out what event that was! DISCLAIMER: The points don't matter, like the ones Drew Carey gave out on Whose Line Is It, Anyway?

And now, we complete out journey through the TNG Seasons with a contest showcasing one of my favorite Trek episodes of all time, Parallels! I'm planning to have some special awards this time around, so lets have some fun!

This contest will run through March 16-17.











Enjoy!
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Old March 8 2013, 04:57 AM   #2
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Even in the 24th Century, people still don't like getting flu shots.



It's "Switch Jobs" day aboard the Enterprise. Data is a Nurse, Ogawa is the CMO and Worf is the orderly.



Worf: (thinking) The good news, I'm First Officer. The bad news, that kids got my old job.



Picard: Didn't LeadHead just have a contest with doubles in a photo?



Worf: You were Captain.

Riker: That's Good!

Worf: Picard was dead.

Riker: That's Bad.

Worf: I was your First Officer.

Riker: That's Good!

Worf: Wesley was the security chief.

Riker: That's bad.

Worf: Deanna was still the counselor.

Riker: That's Good!

Worf: She was my wife.

Riker: That's Bad.

Worf: We were at peace with the Cardassians.

Riker: That's good!

Worf: The Bajorans were violent and aggressive attacking starships.

...

Worf: That's bad.

Riker: Can I go now?
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Old March 8 2013, 05:02 AM   #3
George Steinbrenner
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Scenes from Picard's one-man show, "Engage This!"
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Old March 8 2013, 05:18 AM   #4
Geoff Peterson
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



WORF: You are mistaken, Doctor. Klingons do not chafe.



DATA: I do not see how squashing a small furry lifeform is a great victory for the Empire.



WORF (thinking): Wesley must have majored in Smug Douchebaggery at the Academy.



RKER: Why is it always the same damn episode?



WORF: Your translation is faulty, Commander. It says "first place" not "participant".



STEWART: Also, I won't be answering any questions about Star Trek or X-Men.

Off stage, the head of Con Security issues a red alert.
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Old March 8 2013, 05:34 AM   #5
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Charles Xavier projecting himself into the minds of a room full of people all at once?



No thank you Doctor, I just got a massage from Deanna in the last dimension



When smart people talked... Worf tended to snooze a bit



Worf: This can't be a coincidence. I'm the XO, & I still haven't had a post with a chair since I was a Lt. Junior Grade



Picard: Jesus... I hope I was dead before I had to see this



Worf: Good news, You should enter the tournament next year. They're going to have a "blow hard" event
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Old March 8 2013, 05:37 AM   #6
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel


Captain's Log: I'm beginning to think I've made some bad decisions in crew assignments
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Old March 8 2013, 06:23 AM   #7
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



WES: Did you say open hail or fire phasers? I always mix those up.
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Old March 8 2013, 06:42 AM   #8
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Picard: Interesting bridge design

Alternate Riker: Yep, dates back to the great Chief Engineer Parker who rose to fame when the legendary Trip died in 2161

Picard: Trip who?
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Old March 8 2013, 08:39 AM   #9
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



King of the Nerds audition video # 65423425.

"Bones! Spock!"

"Next!"




Beverly: It's Beverly. Not "Murdock," whoever that is.




Data: Sorry Lieutenant; it seems your "Angry Targs" app is not catching on with the crew.




Worf: That was the last torpedo, sir.
Riker: Well then Worf, find something else we can shoot at them.
Crusher: Don't even think about it, Commander.




Riker'':Captain...Picard?
Picard: I'm sorry, have we met?
Riker': !@#$%.




Riker: You...actually fought in the tournament? And didn't use it as an excuse to bang every chick from Qam-Chee to the Lake of Lusor?

Worf: <does double take>

Riker: Honorable. But stupid.
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Old March 8 2013, 11:14 AM   #10
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Worf: ....yeah, she said I was the only one she did it with when she was aboard nine months before Alexander was born.

Riker: *thinking* Oh boy
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Old March 8 2013, 01:06 PM   #11
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Patrick Stewart's impersonation of his own microphone was a big hit at the convention.
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Old March 8 2013, 06:34 PM   #12
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel



Data: Commander Worf, I'm not certain that you people are suited for this type of work.

Worf: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "YOU PEOPLE"?



Worf: AND THEN HE REFERRED TO ME AS "YOU PEOPLE"

Riker: What? The emotion chip is creating some problems clearly.

Worf: He then laughed and said "TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE!" - I took the tricorder to the bridge and he laughed at me further. Klingon honor demands I redeem myself!!
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Old March 8 2013, 06:36 PM   #13
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Riker: Alright everyone, strategic advice?

Crusher: Well Commander, I -

Riker: EXCUSE ME WESLEY, VIRGINS DON'T COUNT.
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Old March 8 2013, 06:58 PM   #14
inflatabledalek
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Re: TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel

Bless ye FTW!



Patrick Stewart: God, I hate fans. Smelly, ugly, stupid people that make me want to vomit. Especially the ones who take part in caption contests. The only reason I do these freak shows is to make enough money to keep me in cocaine and hookers.


Wait... is that camera on?




Crusher: In any Universe the one constant is after a night with Troi you need your jabs.




Data: Can I please stay to watch you play "Doctors"?




Wesley: In this Universe, I'm the most popular character.





Captain's Log Stardate 47685: We've just encountered an alternate Enterprise where that bearded, pie eating dim witted sex maniac actually made Captain. Sucks to be them.


Captain's Log Stardate 47685: We've just encountered an alternate Enterprise where that bald, cowardly frigid French git is still Captain. Sucks to be them.






Riker: So you got a focus episode that wasn't about honour, Klingon politics, your bastard son or all three? How'd that happen?

Worf: I think Braga got me mixed up with Geordi.
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Old March 8 2013, 07:02 PM   #15
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Patrick Stewart: Hey Seth! I've come back from the future to warn you! You should go with the Star Trek captain who actually knows you from Adam for the Oscars thing!
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