Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work?

Kenbushway · February 7 2013, 01:54 AM

I am not trying to start a religious debate but I saw an interesting topic and thought it would be good to see if anyone had insight.
Question is the thread title, can a religious and non- religious relationship work whether it be marriage or just dating? I don't mean to open old wounds for anyone, but does anyone have experience and insight they are willing to share? Can it work, if so what is the secret to success? Does it depend on the individual?

J. Allen · February 7 2013, 01:58 AM

Yes, it can work, depending on the religion. If it's a Buddhist and an atheist, that could work. A fundamentalist Christian and an anti-theist, that very likely wouldn't work, though there is still a chance that it could.

teacake · February 7 2013, 02:05 AM

It depends on each person being able to be happy for the other person having beliefs that work for them and not desiring to change the other person.

It's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is sucked in/believes nonsense. And it's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is going to hell.

More fraught issues come up if you have children.

Kirby · February 7 2013, 02:05 AM

Just like any relationship, it CAN work if the two people want to make it work. I grew up in a household that only went to church on Christmas and Easter, and my wife grew up in a Catholic family.
After I proposed to her, I decided that I would support her and go to church with her (mainly because I had an uncle who just refused to go to church with my aunt, and he was a real dick about it. Obviously that marriage ended in divorce). Never once did she insist, or even suggest that I go with her.
I did convert to Catholicism in 1998, and have no issues with it.

Deranged Nasat · February 7 2013, 02:11 AM

Of course it can. Although sometimes it won't. The question really being asked here is simply, "Can two people with worldviews that differ in some way have a successful relationship?" And of course, that's not really a very helpful question, because it depends on how divergent those worldviews are, how strongly each maintains their worldview, how important it is to them that others share their perspectives on certain issues, etc, etc. I don't see how religion is different from any other major lifestyle preference or aspect of identity. Any prospective relationship, people will be judging how compatible they are and if they feel comfortable wrapping their life around the other's in intimate fashion.

thestrangequark · February 7 2013, 02:22 AM

I'm sure it can, though I'm just as certain that it wouldn't work for me. I'm a little ashamed of that fact, actually. I have a lot of religious friends, whom I love and respect entirely, but I just think my worldview is too different from that of the religious to maintain a relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling now.

junxon · February 7 2013, 02:24 AM

my friends ex boyfriend started out normal then got increasingly hardcore religious. he didn't seem to realise that hell isn't a threat if you don't believe in it. luckily she told him to fuck off. i think he was arrested for possession of child porn later on. but he was a scumbag and not representative of religious people in general.

doesn't really help answer the question does it?

MacLeod · February 7 2013, 02:32 AM

It could work, though both parties have to accept the others views.

Kenbushway · February 7 2013, 02:34 AM

junxon wrote:

my friends ex boyfriend started out normal then got increasingly hardcore religious. he didn't seem to realise that hell isn't a threat if you don't believe in it. luckily she told him to fuck off. i think he was arrested for possession of child porn later on. but he was a scumbag and not representative of religious people in general.

doesn't really help answer the question does it?

I think its a good answer, you gave an example of how at first it may have been working fine but as one became self-ish in the relationship that is when it ended. So that tells us that when someone tries to force in these kind of relationships it could end bad.

Peach Wookiee · February 7 2013, 02:38 AM

I think it can work depending on the people involved. But you, the couple, have to discuss some big issues, should it become serious.

Mr. Laser Beam · February 7 2013, 02:48 AM

Yes.

teacake · February 7 2013, 02:53 AM

Mr. Laser Beam wrote:

Yes.

Dude, where's your qualifiers?

auntiehill · February 7 2013, 02:56 AM

thestrangequark wrote:

I'm sure it can, though I'm just as certain that it wouldn't work for me. I'm a little ashamed of that fact, actually. I have a lot of religious friends, whom I love and respect entirely, but I just think my worldview is too different from that of the religious to maintain a relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling now.

My sentiments exactly. Of it is very possible that it could work; I just happen to know it would never work in MY particular case. My best pal is rather religious and we get along extremely well and it's never really even been an issue. But my worldview is too different from that of a religious person for me to really feel "secure" in a romantic relationship. My husband and I are both atheists and therefore tend to look at the world in the same way regarding many, many issues.

Use of Time · February 7 2013, 02:57 AM

It gets real fun if you decide to bring kids into it. I've seen that get nasty real quick.

Nerys Myk · February 7 2013, 03:16 AM

It hasn't worked for me, but that's just me.

View Poll Results: Can a religious and non-religious relationship work?
Yes	10	29.41%
No	3	8.82%
It depends on the individuals involved	25	73.53%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll

February 7 2013, 01:54 AM	#1
Kenbushway Commander Location: Georgia	Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? I am not trying to start a religious debate but I saw an interesting topic and thought it would be good to see if anyone had insight. Question is the thread title, can a religious and non- religious relationship work whether it be marriage or just dating? I don't mean to open old wounds for anyone, but does anyone have experience and insight they are willing to share? Can it work, if so what is the secret to success? Does it depend on the individual? __________________ For great info on do-it-yourself auto repair and maintenance: www.ericthecarguy.com (warning: When getting into the harder areas some car knowledge is recommended)

February 7 2013, 01:58 AM	#2
J. Allen Professional Enabler Location: A Quantum State	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? Yes, it can work, depending on the religion. If it's a Buddhist and an atheist, that could work. A fundamentalist Christian and an anti-theist, that very likely wouldn't work, though there is still a chance that it could. __________________ The most horrible suffering one can bring upon another person in dire need, is that of indifference. With love, you try to uplift their life. With hatred, you seek to end that life. With indifference, however, you seek merely to render it inconsequential.

February 7 2013, 02:05 AM	#3
teacake Admiral Location: Militant Janeway True Path Devotees Compound. With Sehlats.	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? It depends on each person being able to be happy for the other person having beliefs that work for them and not desiring to change the other person. It's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is sucked in/believes nonsense. And it's not going to work if one person is stressed out that the other person is going to hell. More fraught issues come up if you have children. __________________ Rider: I can't believe you'd kill me for a field of empty holes. J'onn: It's all I have. ■ ■ ■ Janeway does Melbourne

February 7 2013, 02:05 AM	#4
Kirby Rear Admiral Location: Alt: 5280	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? Just like any relationship, it CAN work if the two people want to make it work. I grew up in a household that only went to church on Christmas and Easter, and my wife grew up in a Catholic family. After I proposed to her, I decided that I would support her and go to church with her (mainly because I had an uncle who just refused to go to church with my aunt, and he was a real dick about it. Obviously that marriage ended in divorce). Never once did she insist, or even suggest that I go with her. I did convert to Catholicism in 1998, and have no issues with it. __________________ Henderson!!!!

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ABOUT US

February 7 2013, 02:11 AM	#5
Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Location: Warped off into the sunset. With fond memories of most of you, and not a little sorrow at leaving.	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? Of course it can. Although sometimes it won't. The question really being asked here is simply, "Can two people with worldviews that differ in some way have a successful relationship?" And of course, that's not really a very helpful question, because it depends on how divergent those worldviews are, how strongly each maintains their worldview, how important it is to them that others share their perspectives on certain issues, etc, etc. I don't see how religion is different from any other major lifestyle preference or aspect of identity. Any prospective relationship, people will be judging how compatible they are and if they feel comfortable wrapping their life around the other's in intimate fashion. __________________ We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away. Last edited by Deranged Nasat; February 7 2013 at 02:27 AM.

February 7 2013, 02:22 AM	#6
thestrangequark Vice Admiral Location: Brooklyn!	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? I'm sure it can, though I'm just as certain that it wouldn't work for me. I'm a little ashamed of that fact, actually. I have a lot of religious friends, whom I love and respect entirely, but I just think my worldview is too different from that of the religious to maintain a relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling now. __________________ The Enterprise is my TARDIS. View my art!

February 7 2013, 02:24 AM	#7
junxon Fleet Captain Location: somewhere boringly picturesque	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? my friends ex boyfriend started out normal then got increasingly hardcore religious. he didn't seem to realise that hell isn't a threat if you don't believe in it. luckily she told him to fuck off. i think he was arrested for possession of child porn later on. but he was a scumbag and not representative of religious people in general. doesn't really help answer the question does it? __________________ Les yeux sans visage, Eyes without a face, Captain. - Harry Kim Hello to Jason Isaacs!

February 7 2013, 02:32 AM	#8
MacLeod Vice Admiral Location: Great Britain	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? It could work, though both parties have to accept the others views. __________________ On the continent of wild endeavour in the mountains of solace and solitude there stood the citadel of the time lords, the oldest and most mighty race in the universe looking down on the galaxies below sworn never to interfere only to watch.

February 7 2013, 02:38 AM	#10
Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Location: Peach Wookiee	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? I think it can work depending on the people involved. But you, the couple, have to discuss some big issues, should it become serious. __________________ Peach's Websites http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1373040/ http://peachwookiee.deviantart.com/ http://peachwookieesparty.blogspot.com/ Check them out!

February 7 2013, 02:48 AM	#11
Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Location: The visitor's bullpen	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? Yes. __________________ It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

February 7 2013, 02:57 AM	#14
Use of Time Fleet Captain Location: Va. Beach, VA	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? It gets real fun if you decide to bring kids into it. I've seen that get nasty real quick. __________________ Searching for something, a million miles and a ways to go.

February 7 2013, 03:16 AM	#15
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: Can a Religious and Non religious relationship work? It hasn't worked for me, but that's just me. __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com