Dating Range?

[RoJoHen]

teacake wrote:

---

Really?! That's what in there "deep down"?

And here I thought they were stuffed with beer and pretzels.

The emotions lie beyond the pretzels.

[Shanndee]

I chose +/-10 years. Hubby is 6 years younger than me, so -5 wasn't an option!

I have to agree with what everyone has been saying, that dating range is fluid depending upon the individual personalties involved. As long as people have common interests and are compatible that is all that really matters.

[RoJoHen]

Shanndee wrote:

---

I chose +/-10 years. Hubby is 6 years younger than me, so -5 wasn't an option!

I have to agree with what everyone has been saying, that dating range is fluid depending upon the individual personalties involved. As long as people have common interests and are compatible that is all that really matters.

Besides, it really depends on how old you are when you start. Somebody 10 years younger than me isn't even legal!

[DrCorby]

auntiehill wrote:

---

I married someone 5 years older, so I put +5. But, to be honest, as long as they are somewhere AROUND my age, I don't care. I think having common interests and attitude is more important.
...
Being able to enjoy the same types of things is very important. ... We have common interests and approaches. ...
I'm not sure that someone 20 years younger than I would really have the same attitudes or frame of reference that I have; I think it would harder to find common ground. However, it's not impossible, not by any means. I just don't think it's as likely.

Agreed. I also chose +/-5. My wife is 2 years older than I am, but then, we share a lot of interests and views on life. We even met through a common interest (medieval re-creation), and 20+ years later, we still have lots we like to talk to each other about (books, movies, things we're learning, hobbies) in addition to the usual day-to-day stuff.

Before I was married, I dated a woman who was about 4 years older than I was. (Honest, I didn't set out to date older women. Most of the time, it was women 1-2 years younger. But the outliers are interesting... ) She constantly refered to the age difference, and thought I should just follow her lead in all things, due to her "greater experience". That got old very fast.

teacake wrote:

---

The older you get the more fluid your range becomes and the less difference the age makes. If you have a big gap though at some point the older person's aging issues, whether in looks or life choices or health can potentially cause relationship issues. Yes I know people will say it shouldn't matter, but issues arise just like the do for other differences between people such as religion or culture.

Yes, there are definitely times of life where physically/psychologically, people are usually in very different places than someone 10 years older/younger than they are. In the middle years, 10 years isn't as big a difference; but it can be in the late teens/early 20s or the later part of life (with more health concerns, for example).

teacake wrote:

---

My test would be..

Me: Do you like Lady Gaga?

Dude: It is TOTAL CRAP!!! (has never listened to it other than in the background of course)

/ GONG!! Good bye.

I'm fairly meh on her pop music (that I've heard), but I did enjoy the duet she did with Tony Bennett. So I think she has an amazing voice, but I don't care for a lot of what she sings. Wait... does mentioning Tony Bennett make me an old fogey?

Locutus of Bored wrote:

---

I think if Jurassic Park was made before you were born, or you lived through the Jurassic period, you're too young and old for me, respectively.

Star Wars seems to be an easy touchstone. We have a friend who was taken to it when she was a babe in arms. I went to see it as one of my first dates in high school. There are often times when she just doesn't get a reference that my wife or I make, that we have to circle back and explain. I can't imagine dating someone who didn't share most of the cultural milestones with me. (That "common ground" that auntiehill described so well above.)

[trampledamage]

mr trampledamage is five years older than me. I honestly haven't dated enough to have built a preference for an age range. We met at university where, pretty much, all that mattered was that you were a student - the actual age was irrelevant.

[tighr]

According to XKCD, the formula is:

(Your age)/2 + 7 = partner's lower bound.

The reciprocal would be:

((Your age) - 7) * 2 = partner's upper bound.

Works for all ages 14+. Indirectly, that essentially means that you shouldn't start dating until you are 14, as well.

[RoJoHen]

tighr wrote:

---

According to XKCD, the formula is:

(Your age)/2 + 7 = partner's lower bound.

The reciprocal would be:

((Your age) - 7) * 2 = partner's upper bound.

I need a much narrower field than that gives me.

[Shanndee]

RoJoHen wrote:

---

Besides, it really depends on how old you are when you start. Somebody 10 years younger than me isn't even legal!

Oh, absolutely! Hubby loves to torment me with "Wow, when you were starting university I was 12!" My response is always...Ewwwwww!

[Robert Maxwell]

I'll go 10 years younger, and up to 15 years older. I'm more flexible on the older part. I'm 31, so I can't go much more than 10 years younger anyway.

When I started dating again, I was trying to go +/- 5 years. It wasn't until I opened up the range that I met my current girlfriend--who is 9 years younger. But we've been together for two years now, so we must be doing something right.

[Gul Re'jal]

I won't vote, because I'd date someone based on the level of their maturity, not digits. As long as I find them "compatible" with me, I don't care about numbers

[Finn]

^but maturity is relative. A mature 20 year old is still quite different from a mature 40 year old. Why? The 40 year old usually has twice the lifetime experience.

[Kelthaz]

I went with +/- 5 years. However, that's not a rule, but simply the belief that someone outside of that age range would be unlikely to be compatible with me.

[teacake]

Finn wrote:

---

^but maturity is relative. A mature 20 year old is still quite different from a mature 40 year old. Why? The 40 year old usually has twice the lifetime experience.

We should have different words for maturity. Life experiences definitely mature a person in a different way than just aging. Maybe it's not that you are more mature, but more seasoned.

[Kommander]

I voted -5/+10. I tend to prefer women that are slightly older than I am, and I'm not sure why that is. 25 to 40 is probably a good general range, but there are exceptions. The last girl I asked out is 22.

I'm involved with one person right now, and she is four years older than I am. (I'm 28, she's 32,) that suits me pretty well. I'm not sure what she thinks. Actually, I don't think she knows how old I am... and the night I met her she commented that she doesn't like dating younger men. I'm afraid to tell her now. Luckily I impressed the hell out of her so maybe she'll overlook it.

Hopefully.

[Melakon]

The oldest was my ex-wife, who was 8 months older.
The youngest was when I was 45, and a 35yr old woman lived with me for 2 years.
I didn't take the poll, since I'm 62 now and haven't had a date since then.