How to know when you're too old for your clothes

[Rhubarbodendron]

If you ask me he doesn't just look like one...

LOL, ok, that was really unfair, so back to the discussion.
I see your point and I'm honestly trying to be tolerant but some things just make me physically sick. Baggy pants and bad tatoos are definitely beyond my pain threshold.

But that's what the whole thread is about, after all. It's about what we personally and individually consider ok and what we find intolerable. It doesn't neccessarily mean we all must agree on everything. In fact, it'd be a terribly boring world if we did!
It doesn't mean either that anyone is right or wrong. In matters of aesthetics there can't be a right or wrong, only preferences, impressions and feelings.

But that's what makes this thread so interesting. So many different views and new perspectives. Spock would be fascinated =)

[Kestra]

Yeah, I mean honestly that just makes me insecure about the way that I look. I think there's already too much pressure to be attractive. So what if someone isn't aesthetically pleasing? Good hygiene should really be all that we care about.

[Rhubarbodendron]

{{{{{{{Kestra}}}}}}} Don't ever be insecure. You have such a beautiful personality! Good looks are only temporary at best. After a few years they are gone. The sexiest body will sooner or later give in to gravity. All that being handsome is only on the surface and doesn't count after the first 2 minutes. Admittedly, the body is what attracts us. But the mind is what makes us stay.

[Kestra]

Rhubarbodendron wrote:

---

{{{{{{{Kestra}}}}}}} Don't ever be insecure. You have such a beautiful personality! Good looks are only temporary at best. After a few years they are gone. The sexiest body will sooner or later give in to gravity. All that being handsome is only on the surface and doesn't count after the first 2 minutes. Admittedly, the body is what attracts us. But the mind is what makes us stay.

Haha, my husband and I are getting a divorce and I found out that he was sleeping with a 21 year old so all this talk about looks fading isn't helpful right now! But I know what you mean. I just think you should be more accepting of people's individual expression when it comes to looks. There are things I don't care for, definitely. I prefer people who are really clean cut. But I wouldn't expect any random stranger to alter their appearance because of my own aesthetic preferences, if that makes sense. It's all just so personal.

[macloudt]

JoeZhang wrote:

---

Most men look terrible as they get older because they get fat - when you get fat, your arms don't grow as your belly grows so shirts rumple in odd because the proportions are wrong. Then they couple that look with some shapeless jeans that look like they have just robbed them off a homeless person.

It must be much harder for larger men to buy clothes that fit properly than us larger women. I'm a UK size 16-18, and shop almost exclusively at stores that cater for larger sizes because the proportions of the clothes in these stores are right. Simply upsizing a size 8 pattern to a 16 doesn't work because the overall proportions change. It's pretty easy for me to find clothes that fit properly, including jeans, but it must be much harder for larger men. I can't think of any store which caters exclusively for their clothing needs.

I'm 44, and lately when I've been shopping with my teenaged daughter I've asked her point-blank whether I'm too old to wear a particular item of clothing. This is when her brutal honesty comes in handy.

[teacake]

Rhubarbodendron wrote:

---

If you ask me he doesn't just look like one...

LOL, ok, that was really unfair, so back to the discussion.
I see your point and I'm honestly trying to be tolerant but some things just make me physically sick. Baggy pants and bad tatoos are definitely beyond my pain threshold.

Where I live that's called uptight.

Seriously, your pain threshold?! It's diversity and living in a society where people feel free to wear what they like and decorate themselves as they like when walking down the street is a something to celebrated. It didn't just happen, it's a result of years of other kinds fights for acceptance. It's the spillover of a more liberal society that doesn't judge people on sexual preferences, ethnicity, religious beliefs, a society that allows personal choices in the matter of identity. You don't have to look far to find societies where stuff we might take for granted (cross dressing for instance) is an abomination and will get you in legal trouble.

Try enjoying the personal freedoms your society has evolved to accepting. They don't have to be your choices to be something to celebrate.

[scotpens]

macloudt wrote:

---

. . . It's pretty easy for me to find clothes that fit properly, including jeans, but it must be much harder for larger men. I can't think of any store which caters exclusively for their clothing needs.

Link: Tall and Fat

Seriously, in America there are big-and-tall stores everywhere. Don't they have those in the UK?

[Mr. Laser Beam]

teacake wrote:

---

Where I live that's called uptight.

Seriously, your pain threshold?! It's diversity and living in a society where people feel free to wear what they like and decorate themselves as they like when walking down the street is a something to celebrated. It didn't just happen, it's a result of years of other kinds fights for acceptance. It's the spillover of a more liberal society that doesn't judge people on sexual preferences, ethnicity, religious beliefs, a society that allows personal choices in the matter of identity. You don't have to look far to find societies where stuff we might take for granted (cross dressing for instance) is an abomination and will get you in legal trouble.

Try enjoying the personal freedoms your society has evolved to accepting. They don't have to be your choices to be something to celebrate.

You have my attention.

[Rhubarbodendron]

teacake wrote:

---

Where I live that's called uptight.

Seriously, your pain threshold?! It's diversity and living in a society where people feel free to wear what they like and decorate themselves as they like when walking down the street is a something to celebrated. It didn't just happen, it's a result of years of other kinds fights for acceptance. It's the spillover of a more liberal society that doesn't judge people on sexual preferences, ethnicity, religious beliefs, a society that allows personal choices in the matter of identity. You don't have to look far to find societies where stuff we might take for granted (cross dressing for instance) is an abomination and will get you in legal trouble.

Try enjoying the personal freedoms your society has evolved to accepting. They don't have to be your choices to be something to celebrate.

Which was my point in the second half of my post which you chose not to quote.

[teacake]

Yes RH you said this:

But that's what the whole thread is about, after all. It's about what we personally and individually consider ok and what we find intolerable. It doesn't neccessarily mean we all must agree on everything. In fact, it'd be a terribly boring world if we did!
It doesn't mean either that anyone is right or wrong. In matters of aesthetics there can't be a right or wrong, only preferences, impressions and feelings.

In which you say there is no right or wrong, it's all taste.

But that's quite in contrast to your other posts, including this :

Much the same goes for tattoos in my opinion. They are something not everyone wants to see and that should therefore be looked at privately, but not be forced upon all the world.

And this:

I don't want to have no alternative to looking at bad tatoos. People who don't cover their tatoos violate other people's rights to not be offended esthetically.

Not quite a celebration of diversity. People not covering their tattoos are violating your rights? They shouldn't be forced upon the world by being on exposed skin? So no, you did not make the same point I did about diversity at all.

[Rhubarbodendron]

but I did point out every time that it was my personal opinion.
And that was your point, wasn't it, that everyone should be allowed to have their own opinion?
And that this variety of opinions is something positive (on which we both agree).

So, on the whole we agree to disagree and that this disagreement is something agreeable..., kindof..., errrr... argh! Sorry, this early in the morning parts of my brain are still in a semi-coma.


I think we both mean basically the same thing, only I am too clumsy to explain it properly.
We both think different opinions are good because they make life interesting and they open us a new perspective. And we both think that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion and shouldn't force it upon others.
I believe, so far I got it right?

Now, the point where the misunderstanding lies, I believe, is that I was so clumsy to create the impression that I wanted everyone to share my view (for example by forcing people to cover ugly tattoos or to pull up their pants).
That is not precisely what I meant.
What I did mean is: I, individually, as a person, find unartistic tattoes and baggy pants so ugly that they make me want to puke. I *wish* that I could be spared these views but am fully aware that I have no right to *demand* it.
As I loathe these two particular fashion trends so deeply, I protested them so passionately that the fact that I expressed a wish (or a hope rather, to be honest) somehow didn't show clearly enough.

IIRC someone in an early post said a certain fashion ought to lead to capital punishment. If memory serves it was the wrong way baseball cap. I should perhaps have used a similarly drastic phrase to make it plain that I didn't make a suggestion.

Sorry about the misunderstanding.

[Retu]

macloudt wrote:

---

It must be much harder for larger men to buy clothes that fit properly than us larger women. I'm a UK size 16-18, and shop almost exclusively at stores that cater for larger sizes because the proportions of the clothes in these stores are right. Simply upsizing a size 8 pattern to a 16 doesn't work because the overall proportions change. It's pretty easy for me to find clothes that fit properly, including jeans, but it must be much harder for larger men. I can't think of any store which caters exclusively for their clothing needs.

scotpens wrote:

---

Link: Tall and Fat

Seriously, in America there are big-and-tall stores everywhere. Don't they have those in the UK?

Being a fat bastard myself, I can tell that finding a good pair of trousers is a bit tricky sometimes. Here they seem to take "big and tall" a bit too seriously, since every time I find a pair of trousers with fitting waist, they are too long. And I'm not even that short (about 177 cm, 5' 10").

Yes, there are shops for big guys, but they usually are located in the larger shopping malls and such malls are not too common here in Finland. So you might have to drive around a bit, unless you live in a "big" city (none of them can be considered big in global scale).

[MacLeod]

macloudt wrote:

---

It must be much harder for larger men to buy clothes that fit properly than us larger women. I'm a UK size 16-18, and shop almost exclusively at stores that cater for larger sizes because the proportions of the clothes in these stores are right. Simply upsizing a size 8 pattern to a 16 doesn't work because the overall proportions change. It's pretty easy for me to find clothes that fit properly, including jeans, but it must be much harder for larger men. I can't think of any store which caters exclusively for their clothing needs.

I'm 44, and lately when I've been shopping with my teenaged daughter I've asked her point-blank whether I'm too old to wear a particular item of clothing. This is when her brutal honesty comes in handy.

If you on either end of what is considered normal, you could have difficulty clothes shopping.

[Rhubarbodendron]

which is why I am knitting my own sweaters and sewing my own blouses and Jeans. They are cheaper and sturdier, too

[macloudt]

scotpens wrote:

---

Link: Tall and Fat

Seriously, in America there are big-and-tall stores everywhere. Don't they have those in the UK?

Not in my part of the country, at least not in my city. I'm sure London has shops like that, and possibly larger cities like Birmingham and Manchester, but they're quite a trek from where I am. Good thing my husband weighs 4 stone less than me.