DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events!

LeadHead · December 8 2012, 06:59 PM

Hello everyone! I've been pretty lame recently about starting on time, or within a reasonable amount of time and I apologize. Life is crazy for LeadHead these days. Lets get going!

First up to the plate, we have the "The Return of Jadzia" Award, going to:

Santa Kang wrote:

EZRI: Jadzia???!!!! I suppose you'll want the symbiont back?

Next, we have the "Predictable Doom" Award, going to:

Hanukkah Jitty wrote:

Nog: "Great. Here comes crazy Garak. I bet this is the part where he kills us."

Garak: "Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"

Next, we have "The Science of Destruction" Award, going to:

Ln X wrote:

Sisko: How many times is it now?
Kira: Seven I think, this is the seventh time she's blown up the science lab.
Sisko: As I keep warning you, Dax's can be impulsive.

Next, we have the "Dark Warnings from the Future" Award, going to:

Rudolph the Red Nosed Vulcan wrote:

Bashir 1: "I'm you from the future. I'm here to stop you sleeping with Leeta. You'll give her an STD, which she'll pass on to Rom when she leaves you, which will mutate and infect the entire Ferengi Alliance. They'll all suffer shocking lobe reduction, which will spur them to a devastating war with the Federation, who they'll blame."
Bashir 2: "Leeta leaves me... For Rom!"
Bashir 1: "Missing the point here."

Next, we have the "Can we get an Emergency Beam out over here?" Award, going to:

Rush Limborg wrote:

"And I thought the sign "Bates Motel" was an homage...."

The Photoshop Award, goes to:

Merry Christmas wrote:

Kira: "Where is that damn cat?"

Tres_Kings wrote:

Kira: Lasertag? On a space station? During wartime?
Sisko: Just the stress release we all need. <Shoots lasers into her eye>

Many thanks to everyone for participating! Congratulations to our winners!

I'm really sorry for the delays in starting contests over the last couple of months, things have been crazy in the world of LeadHead. I'll do my best to keep things moving better in thee future, but I can't promise it, December has already been crazy busy and doesn't look to cool down any time this year.

Enjoy!

LeadHead · December 8 2012, 07:02 PM

Bashir: (thinking) If O'Brien keeps talking tachnobabble, I may go crazy here.

Nana: What do you mean we're gonna be in a relationship?!

Rene: Hang on, lets see where they go with it...

Worf couldn't live down the humiliation of Sisko defeating him at arm-wrestling.

Sisko: So, what do you all think of these 3am staff meetings?

Sisko: Take that, Picard!

Jonas Grumby · December 8 2012, 07:26 PM

Odo: "I'm sorry, Morn. We don't mean to stare. It's just that...I don't think we've ever seen you in a speedo before."

Nerys Myk · December 8 2012, 07:57 PM

ODO: Okay, busting in to Quark's quarters hoping to catch him in the act wasn't the best idea.

SISKO (shudder): What we caught him in the act of doing is going to take years of therapy to erase.

ODO: Why do I feel like we're trapped in a sitcom freeze frame?

bullethead · December 8 2012, 08:05 PM

This week's agenda - dealing with the raktajino shortage.

Kira and Odo react to this week's caption entries.

Worf: Captain, I drink prune juice, not raktajino.
Sisko: Surely you still have some connections in the Empire that can get us some?
Worf: (sighing) Yes sir. I'll go call them now.

Everyone was thrilled about dealing with the fallout of yet another new mishap involving the mirror universe.

Like all Terrans, Sisko loved to duel wield pistols and shout "Surprise motherfuckers!" while on Rebellion missions.

Nerys Myk · December 8 2012, 08:24 PM

MEANY: I here by call this meeting of "Characters Sidelined By the Addition Worf" to order.

R. Star · December 8 2012, 08:39 PM

Dax: We still love you miles.
Kira: Not really.
Bashir: I can't believe you wrote that.
O'brien: This is the last time I write fanfiction you sods!

Odo: Did Captain Sisko shave his head?
Kira: Who does he think he is? Jean-Luc Picard?

Sisko: A bet is a bet Mr Worf. You'll be singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot" in Quark's at 1900 hours.
Worf: How can a human drink that much?

Kira: Who the hell puked in the wardroom?!
Sisko: It's vile.
Dax: I think I'm going to throw up.
Worf: Hmm, the gagh is still alive.

Sisko: That's right, in the mirror universe I'm bangin the bitches and duel wieldin tha guns. The pimp hand of the Sisko layeth the smackdown!

shivkala · December 8 2012, 09:02 PM

Bashir: My appointment was an hour ago! This is intolerable having to wait this long!

O'Brien: Well, Julian, now you know how we all feel when we have a doctor's appointment and it takes you forever to call us. Just be glad you don't have to strip down, put on a paper-thin apron, and wait in a cold examination room for another 30 minutes here!

Kira: Oh, thank God, you're back. Look, we may be images on a TV screen, but we have feelings, too! Leaving us on pause like that, well, it's just plain rude! I know you had Taco Bell, but next time, could you take care of your business before you start watching?

Odo: And, another thing, that painting behind your couch, it's ugly, get rid of it.

Worf could not get over losing usmagazine.com's "Who Wore it Best" poll. He was sure his choice to accessorize his uniform with a sash would gain him more votes than Sisko's rather austere look.

Sisko: I know I said it before, but I swear this is the last time I attend one of Julian and Miles' improv nights!

Here's a little known DS9 fact...John Woo directed an episode. Any guesses which one?

Ln X · December 8 2012, 10:30 PM

Thanks for the win LeadHead!

Q: Don't you two know, you're going to be a couple passionately in love!
Kira: Say what?

Sisko: Mr Worf do you really feel it is necessary to bunk up in the Defiant to avoid your wife.
Worf: It is complicated sir.
Sisko: From what I hear you quarrelled over the matter of adding mint frosting to your dinner!
Worf: As I said, it is complicated...

Starfleet top brass: You have to shave your hair for that captaincy!
Benjamin: NEVER!

Jonas Grumby · December 8 2012, 11:34 PM

Sisko: "Three day's shore leave if you can smell my finger and guess where it's been!"

Finn · December 9 2012, 12:04 AM

\

Kira: I'm stumped

Odo: *turns head* Hey you at home, Could you help us here? Did you see a scene with Quark buying the illegal cargo from the Ktarian Captain?

Triskelion · December 9 2012, 12:58 AM

Hey, TFTW LH!

Kira: Huh?
Clayton Runnymede Odocott III: Just run with it, Major.

Kira: I don't think this is right either, is it?
Clayton Runnymede Odocott III: Another clerical error by Pete, no doubt. Damned Talaxians.

Nerys Myk · December 9 2012, 01:22 AM

KIRA: And the hedgehog?

ODO: I don't wanna talk about it.

jespah · December 9 2012, 01:35 AM

Sisko's Niagara Falls vacation slides were endless.

We're brother and sister? Don't you have the wrong franchise?

All I'm sayin', man, is she likes a little foreplay.

The crew grimly attended their mandatory Electric Slide lessons.

You know why the Quarter Pounder is called a 'Royale' in France? Do ya??

JirinPanthosa · December 9 2012, 01:56 AM

BASHIR: Fine. If you don't want to sleep with me I'll just bang the hell out of your next host, and there's nothing you can do about it.

ODO: Is that Quark, wearing a giant tree costume?
KIRA: I think he's starting to lose respect for you.

Come on, Michael. I know you really wanted to do your 'Captain Worf' series, but viacom wants to focus on the new movies.

The crew learned a lesson today: Never tell a vulcan he has a stick up his butt. They are surprisingly creative with revenge.

Can't talk now Cassidy, gotta shoot stuff.

December 8 2012, 07:02 PM	#2
LeadHead Insert Clever Title Here Location: Somewhere with Internet access.	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Bashir: (thinking) If O'Brien keeps talking tachnobabble, I may go crazy here. Nana: What do you mean we're gonna be in a relationship?! Rene: Hang on, lets see where they go with it... Worf couldn't live down the humiliation of Sisko defeating him at arm-wrestling. Sisko: So, what do you all think of these 3am staff meetings? Sisko: Take that, Picard! __________________ Caption Contests: TOS TNG ENT Movies I-X

December 8 2012, 07:26 PM	#3
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Odo: "I'm sorry, Morn. We don't mean to stare. It's just that...I don't think we've ever seen you in a speedo before." __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

December 8 2012, 07:57 PM	#4
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! ODO: Okay, busting in to Quark's quarters hoping to catch him in the act wasn't the best idea. SISKO (shudder): What we caught him in the act of doing is going to take years of therapy to erase. ODO: Why do I feel like we're trapped in a sitcom freeze frame? __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com

December 8 2012, 08:05 PM	#5
bullethead Fleet Captain	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! This week's agenda - dealing with the raktajino shortage. Kira and Odo react to this week's caption entries. Worf: Captain, I drink prune juice, not raktajino. Sisko: Surely you still have some connections in the Empire that can get us some? Worf: (sighing) Yes sir. I'll go call them now. Everyone was thrilled about dealing with the fallout of yet another new mishap involving the mirror universe. Like all Terrans, Sisko loved to duel wield pistols and shout "Surprise motherfuckers!" while on Rebellion missions. __________________ A business man and engineer discuss how to launch a communications satellite in the 1960s: *Biz Dev Guy*: Your communications satellite has to be the size, shape, and weight of a hydrogen bomb.

December 8 2012, 08:39 PM	#7
R. Star Rear Admiral Location: Terra 3	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Dax: We still love you miles. Kira: Not really. Bashir: I can't believe you wrote that. O'brien: This is the last time I write fanfiction you sods! Odo: Did Captain Sisko shave his head? Kira: Who does he think he is? Jean-Luc Picard? Sisko: A bet is a bet Mr Worf. You'll be singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot" in Quark's at 1900 hours. Worf: How can a human drink that much? Kira: Who the hell puked in the wardroom?! Sisko: It's vile. Dax: I think I'm going to throw up. Worf: Hmm, the gagh is still alive. Sisko: That's right, in the mirror universe I'm bangin the bitches and duel wieldin tha guns. The pimp hand of the Sisko layeth the smackdown! __________________ "I was never a Star Trek fan." J.J. Abrams

STAR TREK

CSI

ABOUT US

December 8 2012, 08:24 PM	#6
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! MEANY: I here by call this meeting of "Characters Sidelined By the Addition Worf" to order. __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com

December 8 2012, 09:02 PM	#8
shivkala Rear Admiral Location: Patrolling Sector 2814	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Bashir: My appointment was an hour ago! This is intolerable having to wait this long! O'Brien: Well, Julian, now you know how we all feel when we have a doctor's appointment and it takes you forever to call us. Just be glad you don't have to strip down, put on a paper-thin apron, and wait in a cold examination room for another 30 minutes here! Kira: Oh, thank God, you're back. Look, we may be images on a TV screen, but we have feelings, too! Leaving us on pause like that, well, it's just plain rude! I know you had Taco Bell, but next time, could you take care of your business before you start watching? Odo: And, another thing, that painting behind your couch, it's ugly, get rid of it. Worf could not get over losing usmagazine.com's "Who Wore it Best" poll. He was sure his choice to accessorize his uniform with a sash would gain him more votes than Sisko's rather austere look. Sisko: I know I said it before, but I swear this is the last time I attend one of Julian and Miles' improv nights! Here's a little known DS9 fact...John Woo directed an episode. Any guesses which one? __________________ "When I reach for the edge of the universe, I do it knowing that along some paths of cosmic discovery, there are times when, at least for now, one must be content to love the questions themselves." --Neil deGrasse Tyson

December 8 2012, 10:30 PM	#9
Ln X Fleet Captain Location: Blottoed in Quark's bar	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Thanks for the win LeadHead! Q: Don't you two know, you're going to be a couple passionately in love! Kira: Say what? Sisko: Mr Worf do you really feel it is necessary to bunk up in the Defiant to avoid your wife. Worf: It is complicated sir. Sisko: From what I hear you quarrelled over the matter of adding mint frosting to your dinner! Worf: As I said, it is complicated... Starfleet top brass: You have to shave your hair for that captaincy! Benjamin: NEVER! __________________ ST: The Approaching Shadow... Caption contests: *VOY ,* *DS9* Last edited by Ln X; December 9 2012 at 12:17 AM.

December 8 2012, 11:34 PM	#10
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Sisko: "Three day's shore leave if you can smell my finger and guess where it's been!" __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

December 9 2012, 12:04 AM	#11
Finn Vice Admiral Location: West of Boston	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! \ Kira: I'm stumped Odo: turns head Hey you at home, Could you help us here? Did you see a scene with Quark buying the illegal cargo from the Ktarian Captain?

December 9 2012, 12:58 AM	#12
Triskelion Commodore Location: Across a sea of suns	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Hey, TFTW LH! Kira: Huh? Clayton Runnymede Odocott III: Just run with it, Major. Kira: I don't think this is right either, is it? Clayton Runnymede Odocott III: Another clerical error by Pete, no doubt. Damned Talaxians. __________________ Star Trek Voyager: Shock Nova Flicker Burn Theater Presents: Zontar the Thing from Venus Last edited by Triskelion; December 9 2012 at 01:15 AM.

December 9 2012, 01:22 AM	#13
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! KIRA: And the hedgehog? ODO: I don't wanna talk about it. __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com

December 9 2012, 01:35 AM	#14
jespah Commodore Location: Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! Sisko's Niagara Falls vacation slides were endless. We're brother and sister? Don't you have the wrong franchise? All I'm sayin', man, is she likes a little foreplay. The crew grimly attended their mandatory Electric Slide lessons. You know why the Quarter Pounder is called a 'Royale' in France? Do ya?? __________________ Honk if you love silence http://www.jespah.com (includes fanfiction with most ratings). TU Publishing Adult Trek Anthology

December 9 2012, 01:56 AM	#15
JirinPanthosa Fleet Captain	Re: DS9 Caption Contest #65: What a fortunate turn of events! BASHIR: Fine. If you don't want to sleep with me I'll just bang the hell out of your next host, and there's nothing you can do about it. ODO: Is that Quark, wearing a giant tree costume? KIRA: I think he's starting to lose respect for you. Come on, Michael. I know you really wanted to do your 'Captain Worf' series, but viacom wants to focus on the new movies. The crew learned a lesson today: Never tell a vulcan he has a stick up his butt. They are surprisingly creative with revenge. Can't talk now Cassidy, gotta shoot stuff.