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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Movies > Star Trek Movies I-X

Star Trek Movies I-X Discuss the first ten big screen outings in this forum!

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Old January 3 2013, 06:37 AM   #1
LeadHead
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Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the repeated delays. Lets get things moving.




First up to the plate, we have the "Design Oversight" Award, going to:

BriGuy wrote: View Post


Drone 1: This would be easier if they had kept the "start" button.

Next, we have the "High Turnover" Award, going to:

R. Star wrote: View Post


Krudge: Gunner, target their engine only. I want prisoners.
Other Klingon: Sir, you executed the main gunner, I'm just the janitor. I don't even know what an engine looks like.

Next, we have the "Starfleet's the Good Guys, Right?" Award, going to:

Smellincoffee wrote: View Post

Spock: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just signed legislation outlawing the Klingon Empire. The Genesis terraforming of Kronos begins in four minutes.
Loved our Photoshops this contest! Two winners! Here they are:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Spock: If that concludes the meeting let the hot tub party commence. Please observe the dynametric limit on Speedo tension force. What is it, Mister Scott?

Scott<grumbles>: Fifty pounds per square inch.

Spock: Thank you, Mister Scott.

And...

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


SPOCK: And now Captain Scott will throw the ceremonial first dice and this casino will officially be open.
A Special Award goes to Isis for making me laugh bigtime about an extremely annoying problem that I'm going through with Microsoft and Xbox Live. (Believe me the problem isn't funny, but given that I first saw this right after spending lots of time talking to a brick wall. "A brick wall" being a great name for Microsoft Support in my opinion at the moment.

Isis wrote: View Post


Borg: "Since they made us put symbols in our password, I can never keep track of mine. I need some help--can anyone find me a criminal or a 10-year-old boy?"



inflatabledalek wrote: View Post


Nimoy: Does anyone have a question?

*All hands go up*

Nimoy: That's not about Star Trek?

*All but two hands go down*

Nimoy: Nor The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins...

Great contest this time around! Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!







Enjoy!
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Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
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Old January 3 2013, 06:39 AM   #2
LeadHead
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need to talk.

Picard: What is it, Beverly?

Crusher: Wesley isn't your son.

Picard: What?

Crusher: It gets better, he's you from an alternate universe where your hair didn't fall out.




Spock: (listening) They say, they can save us 10% by changing our long distance carrier.



Chekov suspected that the new crew members would try to get rid of him at the first opportunity. He was right.
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Old January 3 2013, 09:51 AM   #3
Herkimer Jitty
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Picard: "I've called both of you here to say nice things about me."

....

Picard: "Any time now."



McCoy: "Damn it, man, you green blooded hobgoblin!"

Spock: "If you'll pardon me for a moment doctor, I am recieving a hail from 1-800-Go-Fuck-Yourself."



Decker: "Yep. Carpal tunnel. One 'photon torpedo' too many, eh Chekov?"
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Old January 3 2013, 10:49 AM   #4
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

LeadHead wrote: View Post


Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need to talk.

Picard: What is it, Beverly?

Crusher: Wesley isn't your son.

Picard: What?

Crusher: It gets better, he's you from an alternate universe where your hair didn't fall out.
LOL!



TFTW, Leadhead!



Picard: I've asked you both here to help me source a new hair guy.
Crusher: What makes you think we know a good hair guy?
Picard: I've scanned your carpet. Or should I say, your hardwood flooring. Who does your drapes?
Riker: Thank you for inviting me for this, Captain.
Picard: Indeed, Number One.




Is that Jim? Ask him if he's got my disco medallion!
Patience, Doctor, I am waiting for him to complete his massage instructions.

...Fascinating.



Ilia and I will now demonstrate how to use a condom.

Nooooooo!

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Old January 3 2013, 10:54 AM   #5
inflatabledalek
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

Thanks for blending me.



Crusher: I've finished the crew evaluation, and only one crewmember needs to be put on an emergency diet.

Riker: It's Worf, right?




Spock: I have now listened to the entire 50 Shades of Grey audiobook and can find no logical reason as to why Uhura spends so much time alone in her quarters with it.



Chekov: Christ, Shatner wasn't kidding about what these uniforms do to your balls. For the love of God, change it for the sequel!
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Old January 3 2013, 04:29 PM   #6
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

Happy new year everyone, and thanks for the win Leadhead!



Crusher: We have to tell you something Jean-Luc.
Riker: Well.... Beverly and I are... getting married.
Picard: What?! How could you two do this to me, I--- wait, so does that mean Counselor Troi is available?



Spock: I have a vision of my future. You are in it, but look different.
McCoy: Look different?
Spock: Almost as if someone replaced you.




Decker: Okay, okay, Chekov! I promise to have the quartermaster issue me a jumpsuit a size bigger at the waist... sheesh!
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Old January 3 2013, 06:16 PM   #7
Jonas Grumby
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Kelley: "My God, man! You would not believe some of the things George and Nichelle were just telling me about what an asshole Bill Shatner is! I had no idea!"
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Old January 3 2013, 07:18 PM   #8
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Gates McFadden: Look, Patrick, we've played along so, far, but really, it's been over 10 years now, and, well, it's over. At first, it seemed like fun, put on the old uniforms and recreate some of the scenes, but, it's time to move on.

Patrick: I see, thank you Doctor. Number One, your analysis of the situation?

Jonathan: Clearly the Doctor has been brainwashed, Sir. I recommend isolating her before she causes real damage.

Gates: *under her breath* What the Hell, Frakes?

Jonathan: *under his breath* Oh, he's nuttier than a fruitcake, but until his checks stop clearing, I'm playing along...



McCoy: No, seriously, what's death like?

Spock: Excuse me, Doctor, I'm getting a call that I have to take...

McCoy: Damn him and damn his invisible phone trick!



Persis: What's the matter?

Stephen: He saw your head and thought Shatner's toupee fell off again...

Persis: I don't understand.

Stephen: Pray you never have to...
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Last edited by shivkala; January 3 2013 at 09:37 PM.
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Old January 3 2013, 08:33 PM   #9
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



MCCOY: Could you play "Georgia On My Mind"?

SPOCK: Yo, read the sign. I don't do requests!
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Old January 3 2013, 08:40 PM   #10
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.


Chekov: "Get his bulge away from me! Get his bulge away from me!"
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Old January 3 2013, 09:18 PM   #11
BriGuy
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Spock: I'm sorry, doctor, I'm currently tripping too much on LDS to deal with your shit.



(Please add your own exaggerated Russian accent to Chekov's lines...)

Decker: Pavel, what's wrong?

Chekov: I... I have seen the future! I go from being a competent security officer to bumbling idiot used only for exposition and comedic relief! It can't be true!
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Old January 3 2013, 09:50 PM   #12
inflatabledalek
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

BriGuy wrote: View Post



(Please add your own exaggerated Russian accent to Chekov's lines...)

Decker: Pavel, what's wrong?

Chekov: I... I have seen the future! I go from being a competent security officer to bumbling idiot used only for exposition and comedic relief! It can't be true!
Decker: Don't worry Pavel, it's just an untrue dream. You've never been competent.
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Old January 4 2013, 12:02 AM   #13
Finn
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



McCoy: ...You green-blooded hobgoblin...
Spock: Could you please scoot over, Doctor. You are blocking my view of Nyota.
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Old January 4 2013, 01:32 AM   #14
Triskelion
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



Picard: I can't believe you've let me do this to you under the table for five minutes without saying a word, Beverly.

Beverly:
Do what?

<Riker clears throat>



Pepperoni, you walking abacus. If you order anything other than pepperoni on the pizza I'll have you in a court marshal for that little incident on Risa.

...and half sehlat sausage, half eel.

Why you pointy-eared, green-blooded -

May I remind you Doctor, of who manned the camcorder during said incident?






And then Chekov swore he would never pre-pay for a head job again.
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Old January 4 2013, 02:09 AM   #15
Nerys Myk
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Re: Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.



DECKER: Relax, its was just an early review. I'm sure the later ones will be more positive.
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