The Caregivers' Thread - Page 2

macloudt · January 1 2013, 03:30 PM

We have a Golden Retriever, and we're constantly keeping an eye out for hip and joint trouble as it's so prevalent in his breed as well. I'm sorry your lab is suffering so badly. Hopefully the treatments she's receiving give her some relief.

SmoothieX · January 2 2013, 12:56 PM

We had a Golden when I was growing up, she was a great dog. She never had those issues but my parents were idiots and fed her stuff you shouldn't give to a dog, so she had kidney and bladder issues now and again.

I've tried to learn my dog's limits. When she overdoes it, it's obvious. She spends the rest of the day lying in a corner. If she has to get up for some reason, it's a real effort to drag her back end up.

Peach Wookiee · January 3 2013, 07:25 AM

macloudt or anyone who deals with elderly patients with differing forms of dementia, how do you deal with angry outbursts from those you care for? I find my mother is... rather angry at times. I've worked with kids from the time I was twelve and can generally deal with a bad-tempered child. An adult, especially one's mother, seems to be in a rather different category. Any ideas how to deal when she uses... language?

Tora Ziyal · January 3 2013, 04:17 PM

My father had dementia for several years. Worst disease ever. My heart goes out to you and the others dealing with it.

My take on responding to your mother's anger: Don't argue, don't reprimand. Just redirect/distract her as much as possible. If she's anything like my father, the anger will blow over really quickly anyway.

And (hard as it is) don't take it personally. At those moments, try to think of her more as a patient than your parent.

Peach Wookiee · January 3 2013, 10:14 PM

^How do you distract when your options are very limited? I can't get her out of the house when I'm alone and when I try to be positive, she goes even more negative.

Tora Ziyal · January 3 2013, 11:26 PM

Are there any activities that she still enjoys? Some simple task she can help with, like drying dishes? Or just try putting on some music or a movie that she likes.

Peach Wookiee · January 4 2013, 12:36 AM

Her hands don't work well anymore (Dad has to feed her) and she hates just listening to music. I wish she was into more than watching TV and that we had the wheelchair lift in...

Tora Ziyal · January 4 2013, 11:36 PM

Peach, that must be so frustrating for you.

We were lucky -- my father was in good shape physically until a month before he died. He could take part in activities, and he usually enjoyed them, even though he didn't remember doing them a few minutes later.

BTW, he also took a low dose of an antipsychotic med to combat his anger and paranoia. Worked wonders w/ minimal side effects.

Mr. Laser Beam · January 4 2013, 11:38 PM

My stepmother seems to be developing dementia, or something very much like it. At first we thought it was because of the heart attack she had years ago playing tennis (which cut off the blood to her brain for a very short time). But her mother had dementia, so she is at higher risk for it too... in any case, my dad is pretty much a full time caretaker for her. She has basically no short term memory, can't even cook a meal anymore. I'm surprised she can even drive a car.

Tora Ziyal · January 5 2013, 02:06 AM

^ Can't help asking... if her memory is so bad that she can't cook a meal, should she really be driving?

Mr. Laser Beam · January 5 2013, 02:42 AM

Tora Ziyal wrote:

^ Can't help asking... if her memory is so bad that she can't cook a meal, should she really be driving?

I don't know...probably not.
Fortunately she doesn't really want to drive anymore anyway.

Tora Ziyal · January 5 2013, 10:59 PM

^That's good. But if she's still driving even a little, you might want to make a point of being a passenger in her car occasionally, just to monitor how she's doing.

When I went to visit my father once (he was still living on his own in another state), the ride to his house from the airport was terrifying. He had always been a very careful driver, but suddenly he was making risky left turns, going through red lights, and making light of it when I said something. His judgment was shot to hell, just since last time I'd seen him. I took the car keys away that day.

Peach Wookiee · January 6 2013, 01:22 AM

^Did he willingly give up the keys?

Captain Ice · January 6 2013, 01:42 AM

I'm wonderring the same thing.

Tora Ziyal · January 6 2013, 01:42 AM

Nope.

I arranged for a friend to stay with him temporarily until I could get him into assisted living a couple months later, and she kept the keys hidden and did all the driving. Well, except the time he found the keys and snuck out. Luckily he only drove two blocks to the post office, but boy did I get a hysterical phone call from the friend!

Funny in retrospect, but not at the time.

Once he was in assisted living and didn't have the car parked in front of his house to remind him, he was okay with not driving.

January 1 2013, 03:30 PM	#16
macloudt Shut up, I'm counting Location: a Canuck in southwest England	Re: The Caregivers' Thread We have a Golden Retriever, and we're constantly keeping an eye out for hip and joint trouble as it's so prevalent in his breed as well. I'm sorry your lab is suffering so badly. Hopefully the treatments she's receiving give her some relief. __________________ "Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be."--Mignon McLaughlin My crafting and cooking blog

January 2 2013, 12:56 PM	#17
SmoothieX Vice Admiral Location: Massachusetts	Re: The Caregivers' Thread We had a Golden when I was growing up, she was a great dog. She never had those issues but my parents were idiots and fed her stuff you shouldn't give to a dog, so she had kidney and bladder issues now and again. I've tried to learn my dog's limits. When she overdoes it, it's obvious. She spends the rest of the day lying in a corner. If she has to get up for some reason, it's a real effort to drag her back end up.

January 3 2013, 07:25 AM	#18
Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Location: Peach Wookiee	Re: The Caregivers' Thread macloudt or anyone who deals with elderly patients with differing forms of dementia, how do you deal with angry outbursts from those you care for? I find my mother is... rather angry at times. I've worked with kids from the time I was twelve and can generally deal with a bad-tempered child. An adult, especially one's mother, seems to be in a rather different category. Any ideas how to deal when she uses... language? __________________ Peach's Websites http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1373040/ http://peachwookiee.deviantart.com/ http://peachwookieesparty.blogspot.com/ Check them out!

January 3 2013, 04:17 PM	#19
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread My father had dementia for several years. Worst disease ever. My heart goes out to you and the others dealing with it. My take on responding to your mother's anger: Don't argue, don't reprimand. Just redirect/distract her as much as possible. If she's anything like my father, the anger will blow over really quickly anyway. And (hard as it is) don't take it personally. At those moments, try to think of her more as a patient than your parent.

January 3 2013, 10:14 PM	#20
Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Location: Peach Wookiee	Re: The Caregivers' Thread ^How do you distract when your options are very limited? I can't get her out of the house when I'm alone and when I try to be positive, she goes even more negative. __________________ Peach's Websites http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1373040/ http://peachwookiee.deviantart.com/ http://peachwookieesparty.blogspot.com/ Check them out!

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January 3 2013, 11:26 PM	#21
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread Are there any activities that she still enjoys? Some simple task she can help with, like drying dishes? Or just try putting on some music or a movie that she likes.

January 4 2013, 12:36 AM	#22
Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Location: Peach Wookiee	Re: The Caregivers' Thread Her hands don't work well anymore (Dad has to feed her) and she hates just listening to music. I wish she was into more than watching TV and that we had the wheelchair lift in... __________________ Peach's Websites http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1373040/ http://peachwookiee.deviantart.com/ http://peachwookieesparty.blogspot.com/ Check them out!

January 4 2013, 11:36 PM	#23
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread Peach, that must be so frustrating for you. We were lucky -- my father was in good shape physically until a month before he died. He could take part in activities, and he usually enjoyed them, even though he didn't remember doing them a few minutes later. BTW, he also took a low dose of an antipsychotic med to combat his anger and paranoia. Worked wonders w/ minimal side effects.

January 4 2013, 11:38 PM	#24
Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Location: The visitor's bullpen	Re: The Caregivers' Thread My stepmother seems to be developing dementia, or something very much like it. At first we thought it was because of the heart attack she had years ago playing tennis (which cut off the blood to her brain for a very short time). But her mother had dementia, so she is at higher risk for it too... in any case, my dad is pretty much a full time caretaker for her. She has basically no short term memory, can't even cook a meal anymore. I'm surprised she can even drive a car. __________________ It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

January 5 2013, 02:06 AM	#25
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread ^ Can't help asking... if her memory is so bad that she can't cook a meal, should she really be driving?

January 5 2013, 10:59 PM	#27
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread ^That's good. But if she's still driving even a little, you might want to make a point of being a passenger in her car occasionally, just to monitor how she's doing. When I went to visit my father once (he was still living on his own in another state), the ride to his house from the airport was terrifying. He had always been a very careful driver, but suddenly he was making risky left turns, going through red lights, and making light of it when I said something. His judgment was shot to hell, just since last time I'd seen him. I took the car keys away that day.

January 6 2013, 01:22 AM	#28
Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Location: Peach Wookiee	Re: The Caregivers' Thread ^Did he willingly give up the keys? __________________ Peach's Websites http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1373040/ http://peachwookiee.deviantart.com/ http://peachwookieesparty.blogspot.com/ Check them out!

January 6 2013, 01:42 AM	#29
Captain Ice BBT Fan Location: Captain Ice's alter ego	Re: The Caregivers' Thread I'm wonderring the same thing. __________________ Captain Ice is now Captain Stoned. - KM You are too straight to be a floral designer. - da Bunny RIP Dad Apr 22, 1942 - Dec 2, 2011

January 6 2013, 01:42 AM	#30
Tora Ziyal Rear Admiral Location: Baltimore, MD, USA	Re: The Caregivers' Thread Nope. I arranged for a friend to stay with him temporarily until I could get him into assisted living a couple months later, and she kept the keys hidden and did all the driving. Well, except the time he found the keys and snuck out. Luckily he only drove two blocks to the post office, but boy did I get a hysterical phone call from the friend! Funny in retrospect, but not at the time. Once he was in assisted living and didn't have the car parked in front of his house to remind him, he was okay with not driving.