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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Voyager

Voyager There's coffee in this forum!

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Old December 21 2012, 11:22 PM   #1
Ln X
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VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

The weekend starts here with the latest caption contest!!!

This contest nearly didn't happen today after I bust open my lower lip and chin slamming hard whilst skateboarding a few hours ago... (curse you bs noseslashers!!!)



Damn things are still bleeding, but anyway moving away from all of that we move on to the winners of last week's contest...



Santa Kang wrote: View Post


EMH: Why is there a tattoo of the Vulcan word for "bitch" on your lower back?

JANWAY: Damn it, Tuvok said it meant "courage'"!!!
Tres_Kings wrote: View Post


It's my chick magnet.
It seems the polarity has been reversed.
Yeah. I know.
Finngle Bells wrote: View Post


Vorik:
Have you heard of the T'Pol Method?
Violet.Phoenix wrote: View Post


Harry: Ah Chapman...he turned me down too!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Vulcan wrote: View Post



EMH: "I'm sorry Neelix, it's bad news. That outfit is deader than plaid."
///

And now the special award:



TiberiusMaximus wrote: View Post



After Vorik put down his rock and B'Elanna put down her sword, they tried to kill each other like civilized people.
///

///

///


After a hard day's work, every crew member always goes for a beverage... Though sometimes they don't always get what they want... And this can have violent consequences...











Next caption contest 28th of December. Have fun!
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Caption contest: DS9

Last edited by Ln X; December 22 2012 at 12:05 AM.
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Old December 21 2012, 11:27 PM   #2
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage


Janeway: Damn mugs! The replicator keeps putting holes to the bottom of them! You would almost think this is a practical joke on me!

Chakotay stays silent...



Tom: I would bet everything in this quadrant Harry that you could not successfully hitch this beautiful holographic lady...


Tom: Can I bite you in the neck Klingon style?
B'Elanna: You can't be serious!


Janeway: The ship may be wrecked, but the replicators sure make good coffee!


A typical day for Neelix wouldn't be complete without at least one crew member throttling him for substandard cooking...
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Old December 21 2012, 11:56 PM   #3
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

Thanks for the Win!



Neelix: It was customary for the inhabitants of Rinax, dating back to the first Rinax landing 1,300 years, to strip when eating soup in a certain way. Let me show you, Harry

Tom: Wanna get out of here?

B'Elanna: Are you kidding? I'd rather listen to the doctor signing Bolian Opera.
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Old December 22 2012, 01:34 AM   #4
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage


Scenes from the next Iron Chef: Delta Quadrant.
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Old December 22 2012, 02:28 AM   #5
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

Thanks for the win!



Janeway: Damn...B'Elanna still hasn't removed those coffee-eating tribbles from my replicator.



Tom: Hey, uh, Harry...

Harry: Not now, the intergalactic frisbee matches are about to start, and I've got a hundred credits on the Unwinnables.



B'Elanna: So...did you hear that Harry go turned down by Chapman?



Janeway: Never have I ever...slept with a Talaxian.

(Everyone takes a sip except Janeway and the Doctor).

Janeway: Care to explain?

Kim: Desperate times call for desperate measures.



Noah Lessing: What did I say about serving me the squid special?!
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Old December 22 2012, 02:30 AM   #6
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage




Janeway:
-sigh- I need to stop ordering coffee mugs 100% full.



Tom:
Harry, there are times I wonder if you have a pulse. She's willing and is programmed to have sex with anything male... or female.
Harry: I would never fall for a hologram.



Tom:
(singing) You've lost that looooooving feeling. Ooooh that loooving feeling. You've lost that loooooving feeling and now it's..
All: Gone! Gone! Gone! Oooh ohoho!



Janeway:
When Chell said Nebula soup was on the menu, I thought it was a metaphor.
Neelix: Miss my cooking yet?
All: No!



Tuvok:
Happy, happy! Joy! Joy! Happy, happy! Joy! Joy!
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Old December 22 2012, 02:37 AM   #7
JirinPanthosa
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage




Janeway: Okay, you can have some, if you promise not to tell the crew I got my replicator to make alcohol instead of synthehol.



Paris: I'm glad you decided not to put the timeline the way it was supposed to be after all. Now you and I can hang out in Paris.
Kim: I'll show you a picture of Libby and my new baby if you take off that fake uniform.
Paris: It helps me get girls.



B'elana: So Janeway demoted you for trying to save the environment on a water sphere, just a year after she saved the Borg from extinction?
Paris: I'm going to go steal a shuttle or something. Janeway's moral lectures are hilarious.



The crew suddenly remembered that Kes warned them about the Krenim. And all they can do is sit back and take a shot of whiskey.



Neelix suddenly realizes that all the women he'll see for the rest of his life find Talaxians completely unattractive.

Last edited by JirinPanthosa; December 22 2012 at 02:41 AM. Reason: Forgot important detail of second caption
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Old December 22 2012, 03:23 AM   #8
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

TFTW, Ln X!



Chakotay: Problem with the coffee?
Janeway: I'll say. I ordered a Screaming Orgasm.



Tom: Think of this as the next level of a Ms Pacman game.
Harry:
Does she go "Woo-woo-woo-woo?"
Milfie: I doubt it, but that's never stopped me before.



B:
Know what happens when you put roofies in plomeek soup?

T: You get to lay long and perspire.




Janeway: Like the coffee? I make my own cream.
<Group spit take>




Sorry Mister Vulcan! All I asked was if Vulcans get too tense when you lay under a blanket!
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Old December 22 2012, 03:58 AM   #9
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



Janeway: Is the door locked?

Chakotay: Yes, Captain

*Starts licking the coffee off the replicator*

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Old December 22 2012, 03:59 AM   #10
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



JANEWAY: You call that a grande? Who programmed this thing?



TOM: Nope, she's still not drunk enough to have sex with you.

HARRY: How is that possible? It's my program!!!!!



TORRRES: This is the cool kids table by default.



EMH: I wish I could say I come here for the view, ambiance and conversation. I really wish I could.



TUVOK: Ah ha! As I suspected. Leola root is made of people!!!!!
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Old December 22 2012, 04:19 PM   #11
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage

Thanks for the win!

Tres_Kings wrote: View Post




Chakotay: Problem with the coffee?
Janeway: I'll say. I ordered a Screaming Orgasm.
Chakotay: "Looks like the replicator had one..."



Chakotay: "That's an Enterprise D model replicator. It'll throw a tantrum if you don't order Earl Grey tea once every few days."
Janeway: "I want it off my ship."



Harry: "Now?"
Girl: "Not yet, ma cherie."
Harry: "Have another drink."
Tom: "What are you doing? Getting her drunk?"
Harry: "Drunk enough to go out with me, yes."
Tom: "It's a holodeck. You can reprogram her."
Harry: "You don't think I haven't tried?"



B'elanna: "One time, at Klingon camp, I stuck a Bat'leth..."




Neelix: "Um, danger? Purple swirly thing alert!"



Tuvok: "The Jimmy Saville investigation team want to have a word."
Neelix: "Ocampan... O...cam... pan..."
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Old December 22 2012, 07:29 PM   #12
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



EMH: "Now, the rules of the game are, any time anyone says Talaxian, we drink."

-- they all drink --

EMH: "I didn't say Talaxian yet!"

-- they all drink again --

EMH: "Wait! Oh, to hell with it. Talaxian."
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Old December 23 2012, 07:55 AM   #13
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



Janeway: "Voyager... are we going to have to potty train you?"



@harrykim

still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
didn't get that promotion today #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager
still an ensign #voyager



Paris: "You're an engineer, so tell me: why do these tables all have a ditch in the middle?"

Torres: "To drain out the vomit after the lunch special."



EMH: "Well, at least they have a Starbucks in Detroit."



[Tuvok chokes Neelix.]

Tuvok: "Refer to me as an elf. One more time. I dare you."

Neelix: "You're an angry elf."

[The strangling resumes.]
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Old December 23 2012, 09:35 AM   #14
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



Wait - if this isn't the urinal - where have I been getting my coffee?




She said she wanted Sex on the Beach, Harry.

I know, I'm looking up the French translation for the bartender.




- And then he said, "I'm looking up the French translation for the bartender."

And he wonders why he's still an Ensign?




EMH: You all have Talaxian Taint Fungus.
<Group spit take>



What? All I asked was if you like my stir-fry with morning wood?
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Old December 24 2012, 09:41 AM   #15
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Re: VOY Caption This 95; Beverage



Damn it!

Broken replicator, Kathryn?

Who cares. We need a technology for putting spilled coffee back in a cup.




Kim: I'm looking for a good French pickup line.
Paris: She's a hooker from Toledo.
Kim: Just a minute, I'm indexing idioms by province.



Wanna go get naked?
Does a Vulcan bricklayer get sand in his crack?




Sorry you told Q what a lava lamp was, Captain?
Shut up, Harry.




The secret ingredient in the Number Two Special is plomeek, Mister Vulcan! I swear!
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