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Old December 3 2012, 01:38 AM   #211
SeerSGB
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Snowjourner wrote: View Post
I know plenty of people who work from home that aren't freelance. I wouldn't conflate the two.
Problem is a lot of employers do and so do people that don't get the "work" part of "work from home" when you tell them what you do. "So you want to be on contract...well, yeah we know the ad called for telecommuting, but isn't that the same thing as freelancing?"
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Old December 3 2012, 02:30 AM   #212
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

The one that has really been bugging me lately is when people say "<insert title of hobby/career/volunteer work> is my passion." If I were president I'd order a god damned Predator drone strike on anyone who uttered that phrase.
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Old December 3 2012, 03:05 AM   #213
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

auntiehill wrote: View Post
No, you then hug the person and let the person talk if they want to.
Exactly. Say less, listen more to the person who's hurting.

Rhubarbodendron wrote: View Post
While "it's gonna be allright / will get better" is a comfort at times, in a situation that you are certain won't improve its use is not really appreciated. It always depends on the situation. For example, it would be pretty foolish to say it to someone who's on the verge of dying. It might, however, be helpful with a kid who fell and hurt a knee.
I agree. It's all about the context.

Thoughtless phrases, if recognized as such, can hurt more than insults because they indirectly tell us that the other person doesn't really care about us but reacts only automatically and without conscious thinking.

If you manage to put some feelings behind the words, it's a completely different matter. Then it's really a comfort
Yup. I've had people say things to me that would normally infuriate me, but the expression on their face spoke way more clearly than their inept words, and I was fine. I could even laugh afterwards, "I can't believe he said that, and I actually felt better!"

Something I've found in the last two and a half years is that the people who said little more than, "OMG, I'm so sorry!" when they first learned of my crises tended (notice I said "tended"; these are not absolutes) to be the ones who listened, or just sat with me while I cried, or provided practical assistance. They are the ones I will be eternally grateful for. The ones who initially said the most tended to be the ones who in the long run were less supportive, both emotionally and practically.

Ironically, the least helpful/reliable were the ones who started out with the most enthusiastic variations on, "Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Anything at all!" Anything apparently except what I actually needed -- mostly simple stuff, like a ride to a doctor's appointment. I suspect that on some level they were making the offer more to feel good about themselves than anything to do with me.

"What can I do to help?" is a wonderful thing to say -- when you really mean it and act on it. Otherwise, it goes on the hated sayings list for setting up false expectations.

(Okay, rant over. )
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Old December 3 2012, 04:18 AM   #214
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

SeerSGB wrote: View Post
"Working from home is so easy, all you do is sit around and get paid to do jack shit, you got it made." - just fucking die already, please. I'll trade my contract to contract freelance (and dwindling) income for your week to week paycheck with benefits, then you can sit at home trying to drum up contracts, deal with the headaches of clients that know piss all about what they want, then sweat when some client fucks up legally and you find out when they call in a panic about legal threats and, oh by the way, they've put you in the middle cause you did the work for them.
Oh, joys of freelance work! When I worked as a translator, my mother kept asking when I'd get a "real" job. If my job wasn't real, then why was I making 3x more than she did in her real job?
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Old December 3 2012, 04:42 AM   #215
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Snowjourner wrote: View Post
I know plenty of people who work from home that aren't freelance. I wouldn't conflate the two.
No doubt, I don't think either of us was trying to say that all people who work from home are freelancers. I think we were both lamenting about the attitude people have towards people who work from home.
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Old December 3 2012, 04:49 AM   #216
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Yoda wrote: View Post
The one that has really been bugging me lately is when people say "<insert title of hobby/career/volunteer work> is my passion." If I were president I'd order a god damned Predator drone strike on anyone who uttered that phrase.
Those people are such fun when they have a bad day. That face of dawning realization that their "passion" is actually work and work isn't all that fun.

Here's some for all the writers in the house:

"What's so hard about writing?"

"400 pages, big deal I could do that in a couple hours, it's not like real work"

"Why don't you right one of those (insert hot book of the moment) they make a mint"

"Writer? Fuck sell one book and you're set for life."

"You got rejected? Maybe if you wrote like (insert popular fad author of the week) you could sell a book."

"You know what your problem is? You just need to do it, just write a book and sell it. Why's that so hard?"

Or any variation of the above.
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Old December 3 2012, 06:14 AM   #217
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Rhubarbodendron wrote: View Post

The problem is, imo, that many people use those phrases without thinking. It's just like saying "Gesundheit!" when someone sneezes. It's something you do automatically, because it's what one does. But you don't consider first that it means "good health to you!" and then very deliberately wish that to the sneezing person.
I say "you're so good looking" instead of gesundheit or "bless you". If the person has seen Seinfeld, I'll get a chuckle, if not
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Old December 3 2012, 07:47 PM   #218
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

"Fiscal cliff".

Must they use such a melodramatic phrase? "Oh no, look at all the finances going off the fiscal cliff, into the canyon. We'll all be doomed."

I get so tired of media fear-mongering about this or that next big crisis. Yet I keep tuning in to the news because I like to keep informed about current events.
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Old December 3 2012, 07:51 PM   #219
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

^Along those lines, "global warming." I'm not saying that I believe in it one way or another, but I get tired of the term being thrown around any time the weather is slightly warmer than normal.

It's in the 60s today, which is unseasonably warm for December. My Facebook is full of people blaming global warming and the fact that we're killing the planet.

Weather =/= Climate. Sometimes the weather is just weird. I'm sure it'll be below freezing in no time.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:10 PM   #220
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Ood Sigma wrote: View Post
^ I'm not going to lie, I was absolutely 110% positive that someone would do that.
This.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:15 PM   #221
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Yoda wrote: View Post
The one that has really been bugging me lately is when people say "<insert title of hobby/career/volunteer work> is my passion." If I were president I'd order a god damned Predator drone strike on anyone who uttered that phrase.
Oh yes! I find the word "passion" to be greatly overused in general. Every job I apply for wants me to be "passionate" - about the career path or about something. At courses, inductions or even in casual conversation I get asked what I'm "passionate" about. I was always of the impression that passion is a rare thing - that if you're truly passionate about something, then that shows an extraordinary commitment or enjoyment; you're a very rare and lucky person if passion truly takes hold. But it seems passion is now something that everyone is expected to have, like it's the latest fad.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:33 PM   #222
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Someone who I would consider about being passionate about his job would be Sir David Attenborough. When he thought he was going to be offer the job of Director General of the BBC, he decided that the only thing he really wanted to do was to make wildlife documentaries and that he was truly passionate about doing that. So we ended up with decades of his wonderful work instead of him sacrificing it to take the top job at the BBC.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:36 PM   #223
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

I am passionate about my job.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:36 PM   #224
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

I don't know that I'm passionate, but I do think my job is pretty awesome.
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Old December 3 2012, 10:37 PM   #225
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Re: Sayings that you hate now

Miss Chicken wrote: View Post
Someone who I would consider about being passionate about his job would be Sir David Attenborough. When he thought he was going to be offer the job of Director General of the BBC, he decided that the only thing he really wanted to do was to make wildlife documentaries and that he was truly passionate about doing that. So we ended up with decades of his wonderful work instead of him sacrificing it to take the top job at the BBC.
I met David Attenborough at a book signing. I told him it was an honour and felt very chuffed indeed. So maybe I'm passionate about David Attenborough?
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