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Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

View Poll Results: What is your age range?
13-17 1 0.83%
18-24 7 5.83%
25-29 25 20.83%
30-39 35 29.17%
40-49 31 25.83%
50-59 17 14.17%
60-69 2 1.67%
70+ 2 1.67%
Voters: 120. You may not vote on this poll

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Old October 26 2012, 06:40 PM   #136
wissaboo
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Re: What is it like getting older?

kolibri wrote: View Post
I just turned 22, and getting older feels like crap. I went from college life which consisted of night classes, staying up until 6AM, sleeping until 3PM, screwing around all day and doing a little homework now and then, to the horrible reality of having to get a FULL TIME job, move out, pay bills, do laundry, feed myself, being a boring adult with adult responsibilities.

I can look at myself at 15 and say that I have better judgement and taste in things, and that I'm a little smarter in general, but my mentality probably hasn't changed a lot. I'm still basically a child. And I still haven't found a job. So I'm like, desperately clinging to these last few months where I can sit around and do nothing. I am focusing really hard on leisure.

I feel pretty unmotivated. Disillusioned. Not energetic in the slightest. I have this uncontrollable urge to just enjoy life for what it is and not drive myself crazy chasing after goals that don't mean much to me. I'm probably going through my quarter-life crisis.

The worst thing is, my 22nd birthday was the first one I've never looked forward to. I can do everything now. Drink, smoke, drive. Found out all of those things were meh. What's even left? Joining the AARP at 50? Collecting social security?
the bolded part pretty much describes me up to and including my current age of 47. Just a little bit smarter than I used to be. Judgements a little better. Still feel like the kid I was.

btw, early 20's is a very difficult time of most people's lives and it isn't really well known. You have to start dealing with the fact that doors are closing and there are things you aren't going to do. And the idea of working for the next 40 years is more than daunting.
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Old October 27 2012, 08:21 AM   #137
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Also you make what might be the best relationship decisions you could at the time but they don't work out in the long run. Society tells you that you made the WRONG decision but IMO it's a cycle of life deal.
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Old October 27 2012, 09:50 AM   #138
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Even right decisions don't necessarily last forever.
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Old October 27 2012, 09:53 AM   #139
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Exactly.
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Old October 27 2012, 04:14 PM   #140
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Re: What is it like getting older?

RJDemonicus wrote: View Post
Even right decisions don't necessarily last forever.
That's the truth. Benign neglect isn't necessarily all that benign.

My Mom asked me why Hubby and I rehash the good things about our past, what we liked in each other, etc. I said that those who don't tend to forget and either come to ignore each other, take each other for granted, are unhappy, break up, or have major fixing to do. We're just doing preventive maintenance on our relationship. (We were inspired by seeing "Hope Floats" and don't want to get to that point)
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Old October 27 2012, 07:08 PM   #141
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Have not read all the posts, so if I repeat anything it is because I agree with it!

At 63 I will tell you this:
1. Learn to handle money.
2. Keep up your health, exercise and eat right.
3. Love! Even if you lose it, do it. Hubby of 29 years, well worth it. Still miss him, but do not regret.
4. Whatever age you are, beats the heck out of the other option...I'm sure hubby would agree if he could.
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Old November 2 2012, 04:47 PM   #142
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Re: What is it like getting older?

5. Don't let problems scare you. Have a look at them from as many different angles as you can. Then you'll find their weak spot and be able to divide them up into small and managable sub-problems.

6. A sense of humour helps (often more than a fat bank account)

7. Always look at the bright side of life
A stereotype but sound advice. A positive atitude will help you avoid most problems and deal better with the remaining ones. As my great-granny used to say: there's scarcely a catastrophy without a good use.
She was right. The trick is to make the best of a situation. This way you can turn a defeat into a victory.

8. buy a book on housekeeping and a good recipe book and attend DIY classes. You'll be surprised how much money you can save by doing smaller repairs yourself or by cooking good meals from fresh seasonal ingredients. (Or knitting a sweater or warm socks that nobody else in the world has =) )

9. The shittiest life is still a good deal better than the best death.
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Old November 18 2012, 05:11 PM   #143
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Re: What is it like getting older?

I was so sure I posted in this thread. Dug it up because I have an "feelin' old moment".

Oh well, first off:


28 on on the 24th and while last years has been kinda tough, in a lot of ways I'm feeling the best I've ever felt. At least mentally. When I was 13 I was convinced I wouldn't make it to 20. That I'd be dead by either my tormentors or my own hand.

But I was wrong and I got free of all that bullshit. Worse for wear, true, but alive. I've got a good job, I live pretty well in a decent neighborhood. I share an apartment with my little brother who I could not be more proud of, and he's also the definition of a "real bro". My parents are pretty darn great and my sisters are doing well, the youngest just having had great acclaim with her art exhibit. We have a great little dog that almost always lifts your spirits, and some snuggly cats. I have some great friends, some pretty close ones even.

I have far many more things I want to do in my life, but the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman. it's way harder then it should be, but there it is.



Anyway, the feeling old thing. Everyone knows I'm a car guy, a muscle car guy to be more exact. Next fall I have an opportunity to change the lease for the company car to a Camaro. The car of my dreams. The car I've lusted over for years. But I've come to realize that it's just not going to work. It probably would economics wise. But fact is, I can not have a muscle car as a work car. So I've looked at other cars and come down to the Subaru Outback, which is a station wagon. And I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!
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Old November 18 2012, 05:43 PM   #144
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Jim Steele wrote: View Post
At 28 I feel like I've cocked everything up and my life is basically over and the next 30-50 years will be spent meandering toward oblivion achieving little more than acruing regrets.
Easier set than done, but best not to try and focus on the things that didn't go right and/or regretting too much the mistakes.

Sure it's easy to look to back and thing I wish I had/hadn't done that, but the past is the past learn from it and move on.
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Old November 18 2012, 05:58 PM   #145
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Re: What is it like getting older?

MacLeod wrote: View Post
Jim Steele wrote: View Post
At 28 I feel like I've cocked everything up and my life is basically over and the next 30-50 years will be spent meandering toward oblivion achieving little more than acruing regrets.
Easier set than done, but best not to try and focus on the things that didn't go right and/or regretting too much the mistakes.

Sure it's easy to look to back and thing I wish I had/hadn't done that, but the past is the past learn from it and move on.
Yeah, I'm closing in on 30 and it's so easy for me to feel like my entire adult life has been one mistake after another. What a waste, right?

But I'm totally fighting that. That's not to say I haven't made mistakes, because I have. Lots of them. But at the same time, I generally like the person that I am right now. And I have so many amazing relationships with so many amazing people. I had long suspected that my friends and family were awesome, but that hypothesis has recently been proven without a doubt.

So yeah, lots of mistakes, but I figure I must have done a couple things right along the way!
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Old November 18 2012, 06:31 PM   #146
Rhubarbodendron
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Emher wrote: View Post
Worse for wear, true, but alive.
in my experience one gains a lot of strength from such an ordeal.
the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman.
That's something that won't change with age, I'm afraid.
I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!
LOL naaah you're getting mature! And that car will be a far better bait in the GF hunt than the muscle car would have been. Don't know about the ladies in your country, but over here we think that men get muscle cars only to compensate certain other ahem.. shortcomings.
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Old November 18 2012, 07:56 PM   #147
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Twenty years ago tonight I was in a car wreck with a friend that could have easily killed me (my friend's passenger side seatbelt wasn't working and my head cracked the windshield upon our impact with the oncoming vehicle), so since that evening - just two weeks after turning all of 18 - I've learned to embrace life a little more than I did before then because you just never know when it might theoretically come to an end through accident or illness or somebody else's design.

I was given a bit of a gift that night by walking away from a wreck more or less unscathed and since then try to take less for granted as I've gotten older. Losing quite a few family members to illness or old age in the ensuing years contributes to that attitude as well. My attitude as I approach 40 is the following: this is the only life we might get whether you believe in something greater after this world or not...be sensible and smart, but try to live that life to the fullest and embrace friends, love and opportunities to be with and share your life with others.
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Old November 18 2012, 08:52 PM   #148
teya
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Australis wrote: View Post
Just gone 54. Some days are cruisy, some days are far tougher than they should be. If there was one piece of wisdom I could impart, it would be:

Whatever you want to do, start it as soon as you can. Getting an education, saving for a house, raising a family, becoming an artist, anything. Start now.

And, I'm reluctant to say it, you have to do two things: find the thing you really want to do, really really want to do, and do it. And if it doesn't support you straight away, make sure you have a second string to your bow that will support you and your family until your passion can become your full time gig. Friend of mine, really good bassplayer, also learned to be a bricklayer. He had to do it for years, but he now lives off his music and has a recording studio. Whereas I left things late, and well...

When you get older, it gets hard. Hard. Do it now, make it easier in the long run.
Great points. I know I've gotten off-track at some points in my life.

At 56, I find I'm rediscovering the things I really loved when I was younger--and that comes down to making things with my hands. I had a great childhood, but the fondest memories are knitting & baking & gardening.

When I was in my 30s, I left the country & moved to the big city & set those things aside. Feminists were telling me that I was a throw-back, wasting my intelligence on such things. So, newly divorced & living in Manhattan, I set out to have a wonderful, exciting career.

But a few years ago, I looked at my life & realized that most of my friends were creative types: musicians, artists, chefs, photographers, actors. I was surrounding myself with people who were doing the things that I'd wanted to do when I was younger. In a lot of ways, I was living vicariously.

One day I was doing a stroll through a shopping area and stumbled across a yarn store. I went in & bought a skein of yarn, went home & knit a scarf. I hadn't picked up needles in 20 years. I'd forgotten how meditative it was. I was hooked.

Then Irene hit last summer & I watched live on Twitter as home was inundated under 8 ft of water. Friends lost their homes and farms. Roads & bridges were washed out. An entire year's work gone. The national media barely noticed.

It was one of those life crises that snaps you to attention. I reconnected with the place I love the most on the planet. I reconnected with people. I made new friends in the area. I remembered the things I love the most and, thanks to technology that wasn't there 20 years ago when I left, I'll be able to have a future there.

So, now I'm on the 5 year plan. My plans are never cast in stone--just a general direction. But in 5 years, I'll be collecting a pension, be able to telecommute from the Catskills to LA, and so I'll be able to buy a few acres, raise bunnies, spin yarn, make jams, and do for myself.

I'm ridiculously healthy for my age (knock wood) and come from a long line of long-lived people.

I hope I'm planting a tree on the day I turn 100.

I wouldn't trade this for my 20s or 30s at all. I don't even regret coming full circle late in life. It's the choices I made then, the good & the bad, that ended me up here.

And here's pretty damn good.

Oh, and I'm now up to my ears in yarn.
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Old November 19 2012, 12:41 AM   #149
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Re: What is it like getting older?

Rhubarbodendron wrote: View Post
Emher wrote: View Post
Worse for wear, true, but alive.
in my experience one gains a lot of strength from such an ordeal.
the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman.
That's something that won't change with age, I'm afraid.
I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!
LOL naaah you're getting mature! And that car will be a far better bait in the GF hunt than the muscle car would have been. Don't know about the ladies in your country, but over here we think that men get muscle cars only to compensate certain other ahem.. shortcomings.
I did gain a lot of strength. But there have many times where I would just as easily feel I would have happier had I not gone trough it.

And yes, I know age will not change my relationship status...but hopefully me gaining life experience will.

Honestly, the muscle car was never about getting ladies. It's the love of the car, of the engineering and styling. Me and muscle cars goes back to my childhood when my dad used to renovate them. It's one of the things that bond us together. If I have the money when he turns 60 in 2018 I'll get him a '68 Dodge Charger R/T, black with black vinyl roof. His favorite car.

As for the ladies in my country...the freaking Volvo-hicks (i.e. young men that drift around in crappy, broken and loud old Volvos) manage to get women somehow so I think I'll manage in the end. Not that I'd ever be interested in girls interested in those kinds of guys.
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