TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!"

MANT! · August 25 2012, 12:34 AM

First..the..(Drum Roll)

Winners!

TrickyDickie wrote:

Kirk: "I don't care if you beat me to death, but I will not listen to Justin Bieber!"

BoredShipCapt'n wrote:

Kelley: "Well, I'm sorry. Adam West told Bill you always liked it when he touched you there."

T'Girl wrote:

McCoy: "Tell me Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Jonas Grumby wrote:

Spock: "My operatives will avenge this prank! And some of them are Vulcans!"

And..

Chopshop winnah!!

Nerys Myk wrote:

SPOCKO MARX: That's the most illogical thing I've ever heard!

Lots of good entries, don't think I didn't laugh at them..

On to the next...

Enjoy!

dodge · August 25 2012, 12:48 AM

Kirk: "Spock, are you sure these will protect us from landsharks?"

Nerys Myk · August 25 2012, 02:36 AM

KIRK: Dammit woman, what did you say to him?

YEOMAN: I said he was cute and asked him out.

Guys somewhere

Okay freeze frame and zoom. I know I saw it!!!!!!

STONE AGE GUMBY: My brain hurts!

KIRK: Remember on Lost when Sawyer and Kate were locked in cages?

SPOCK: Yes and.....

KIRK: Nothing, this just reminds of that.

UFO · August 25 2012, 02:56 AM

Krik: Could you give us a minute buddy?

Chekov: I like your boots. What did you say they are called again?

Caveman: Ugg

Kirk: Our captors do realise we can fit between these bars, right?

Spock: I believe the cages are symbolic Captain.

Kirk: Ah, of course, ... what?

Burma Ryder · August 25 2012, 03:44 AM

Kirk: Spock, what is it?

Spock: Curious, Captain. There seem to be a large flock of over-sized irate feathered winged bipedal endothermic vertebrate gathering near some sort of catapult device just over the rise back there.

Kirk: Oh #@*$!

Maurice · August 25 2012, 08:55 AM

SHATNER: What happened to him?
ACTRESS: The director told him how many of his lines you took.
TAKEI: En...sem...ble.
SHATNER: In your dreams!

KIRK: Now, gang, I'll tear off her mask and we'll see who really tried to convince us this planet was haunted. <riiiip> Uh...uh oh...

CHEKOV: Leg varmers? Ve must be on the planet of the 80s.

KIRK: Worst. Shellgame. Ever.

Smellincoffee · August 25 2012, 12:10 PM

Kirk: These people have been living here for milennia, and they've never mastered the rudiments of agriculture?
Chekov: No, sir, but they have at least managed to register with GEICO Car Insurance.

The Laughing Vulcan · August 25 2012, 01:34 PM

Sulu: "Kiss me, Hardy..."
Kirk: "Hornblower, not Nelson."

Cloud William: "What you do with post-op Cloud Festus?"

Chekov: "Vhere do you get your vigs?"

Kirk: "I hate these Vietnam allegory episodes!"

R. Star · August 25 2012, 01:39 PM

Sulu was just holding out for mouth to mouth.

Kirk: She's so easy, a caveman could do her!

Chekov: The furry booties were an original Russian invention!
Kirk: I wouldn't brag about that Chekov.

Kirk: Seriously, could we get imprisoned in a technologically advanced prison just once? It's animated, it's not like there are budget issues!

Jonas Grumby · August 25 2012, 04:43 PM

Thanks for the win, MANT!

Kirk: "Granted, Yeoman, he's not exactly what you'd call 'smooth' when it comes to conversing with women. Still, you didn't have to slug him quite that hard."

Kirk: "What's that you say, Sirah? I can have you, but only after I pay the guy in the fur coat? Why does all this seem vaguely familiar?"

Morg: "The women? The women all live underground, completely separated from us men."
Chekov: "I suppose dat vould explain your grooming habits."

LeadHead · August 25 2012, 05:26 PM

Kirk: Sulu, what happened to you?!

Sulu: Forced... to... watch....reality tv.... (dies)

Kirk: This guy doesn't know either. I knew it was a mistake to stop and ask for directions...

Spock: Captain, why are you smiling?

Kirk: These Amazonian women are supposed to be a lot of fun...

Mr. Laser Beam · August 25 2012, 07:36 PM

Kirk: Ensign Gaga, please assist me with the lieutenant.

T'Girl · August 25 2012, 08:38 PM

Kirk: "The Federation is a instrument of civilization."

Cloud: "Says man in corner, hiding behind woman."

Kirk: "Is there anything we can do for you Sulu?"

Sulu (mumbling): "A MMF three-way would be nice."

Spock suddenly realized that Kirk's idea of shore leave on the Bondage and Domination planet wasn't going to be the "fun" that Kirk said it would be.

(Kirk: "Spock, I know this place where the Dominatrix are sooo ...")

Kirk: "Diplomacy and reason don't seem to be working."

Chekov: "How about I shoot him in the testicles with my 'fire box.' See if that works"

.

TrickyDickie · August 27 2012, 07:41 AM

Thanks for the win!

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are less than impressed with the re-imagining of 'The Cage.'

TrickyDickie · August 27 2012, 07:48 AM

Kirk: "We know that you're one of those pagans from 'Dragnet: 1987'....the goat leggings prove it!"

Chekov: "Vhat....?!?"

August 25 2012, 12:48 AM	#2
dodge Lieutenant Commander	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: "Spock, are you sure these will protect us from landsharks?" __________________ Dear Sir, I object very strongly to that last scene, and to the next letter.

August 25 2012, 02:36 AM	#3
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" KIRK: Dammit woman, what did you say to him? YEOMAN: I said he was cute and asked him out. Guys somewhere Okay freeze frame and zoom. I know I saw it!!!!!! STONE AGE GUMBY: My brain hurts! KIRK: *Remember on Lost* when Sawyer and Kate were locked in cages? SPOCK: Yes and..... KIRK: Nothing, this just reminds of that. __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land** A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com

August 25 2012, 02:56 AM	#4
UFO Captain	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Krik: Could you give us a minute buddy? Chekov: I like your boots. What did you say they are called again? Caveman: Ugg Kirk: Our captors do realise we can fit between these bars, right? Spock: I believe the cages are symbolic Captain. Kirk: Ah, of course, ... what?

August 25 2012, 03:44 AM	#5
Burma Ryder Lieutenant Commander	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: Spock, what is it? Spock: Curious, Captain. There seem to be a large flock of over-sized irate feathered winged bipedal endothermic vertebrate gathering near some sort of catapult device just over the rise back there. Kirk: Oh #@*$!

August 25 2012, 08:55 AM	#6
Maurice Rear Admiral Location: Maurice in San Francisco	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" SHATNER: What happened to him? ACTRESS: The director told him how many of his lines you took. TAKEI: En...sem...ble. SHATNER: In your dreams! KIRK: Now, gang, I'll tear off her mask and we'll see who really tried to convince us this planet was haunted. <riiiip> Uh...uh oh... CHEKOV: Leg varmers? Ve must be on the planet of the 80s. KIRK: Worst. Shellgame. Ever. __________________ * * * "Star Trek…at times sparkled with true ingenuity, and pure science fiction approaches, and at other times was more carnival like, and very much more the creature of television than the creature of a legitimate literary form." —Rod Serling, 1970"

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August 25 2012, 12:10 PM	#7
Smellincoffee Fleet Captain Location: Vulcan	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: These people have been living here for milennia, and they've never mastered the rudiments of agriculture? Chekov: No, sir, but they have at least managed to register with GEICO Car Insurance. __________________ "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.

August 25 2012, 01:34 PM	#8
The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Location: At The Laughing Vulcan's party...	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Sulu: "Kiss me, Hardy..." Kirk: "Hornblower, not Nelson." Cloud William: "What you do with post-op Cloud Festus?" Chekov: "Vhere do you get your vigs?" Kirk: "I hate these Vietnam allegory episodes!" __________________ "Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right. Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end." Anime @ MyReviewer

August 25 2012, 01:39 PM	#9
R. Star Commodore Location: Terra 3	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Sulu was just holding out for mouth to mouth. Kirk: She's so easy, a caveman could do her! Chekov: The furry booties were an original Russian invention! Kirk: I wouldn't brag about that Chekov. Kirk: Seriously, could we get imprisoned in a technologically advanced prison just once? It's animated, it's not like there are budget issues! __________________ "I was never a Star Trek fan." J.J. Abrams

August 25 2012, 04:43 PM	#10
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Thanks for the win, MANT! Kirk: "Granted, Yeoman, he's not exactly what you'd call 'smooth' when it comes to conversing with women. Still, you didn't have to slug him quite that hard." Kirk: "What's that you say, Sirah? I can have you, but only after I pay the guy in the fur coat? Why does all this seem vaguely familiar?" Morg: "The women? The women all live underground, completely separated from us men." Chekov: "I suppose dat vould explain your grooming habits." __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer Last edited by Jonas Grumby; August 25 2012 at 05:44 PM.

August 25 2012, 05:26 PM	#11
LeadHead The Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot Location: Somewhere with Internet access.	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: Sulu, what happened to you?! Sulu: Forced... to... watch....reality tv.... (dies) Kirk: This guy doesn't know either. I knew it was a mistake to stop and ask for directions... Spock: Captain, why are you smiling? Kirk: These Amazonian women are supposed to be a lot of fun... __________________ Current Caption Contests: TNG TOS Movies I-X

August 25 2012, 07:36 PM	#12
Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Location: The visitor's bullpen	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: Ensign Gaga, please assist me with the lieutenant. __________________ It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

August 25 2012, 08:38 PM	#13
T'Girl Vice Admiral	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: "The Federation is a instrument of civilization." Cloud: "Says man in corner, hiding behind woman." Kirk: "Is there anything we can do for you Sulu?" Sulu (mumbling): "A MMF three-way would be nice." Spock suddenly realized that Kirk's idea of shore leave on the Bondage and Domination planet wasn't going to be the "fun" that Kirk said it would be. (Kirk: "Spock, I know this place where the Dominatrix are sooo ...") Kirk: "Diplomacy and reason don't seem to be working." Chekov: "How about I shoot him in the testicles with my 'fire box.' See if that works" . Last edited by T'Girl; August 26 2012 at 02:22 AM.

August 27 2012, 07:41 AM	#14
TrickyDickie Commodore	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Thanks for the win! *Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto are less than impressed with the re-imagining of 'The Cage.'*

August 27 2012, 07:48 AM	#15
TrickyDickie Commodore	Re: TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!" Kirk: "We know that you're one of those pagans from 'Dragnet: 1987'....the goat leggings prove it!" Chekov: "Vhat....?!?"