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Old September 2 2014, 06:48 AM   #1
Spockkirk
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Location: USA
September 11th what a mess poem

Planes crashed


Millions of people maimed and killed


September 11th what a mess!


Screaming crying


Frightend people everywhere


September 11th what a mess!


Sounds of rumbles the towers fell


Our lives turned into a living Hell


September 11th what a mess!


God was there he still cared


As for me I saw the pain didn't want to care


September 11th what a mess!


My heart still breaks I wanna cry


All those poor people killed


September 11th what a mess!


People panicked I tried to be brave


still the truth I was afraid


September 11th what a mess!


Tried to sing


Praise Jesus in the rein


Still I felt trapped in an awful destiny


September 11th what a mess!


Wanted to shout wanted to scream


Why God Why was this happening?


September 11th what a mess!


Bin laden is dead


People cheered


But is that really how it ends?


September 11th what a mess!


I still wonder


I still fear


Will this happen yet again?


September 11th what a mess!


Sees planes flying low


have to wonder


have to know


Is this really the end


September 11th what a mess!


Seeing them hover makes me fret


turns my insides to a jello mess


September 11th what a mess!


Will we die


are we safe?


Planes why fly so low anyways?!


September 11th what a mess!


Still have visions


still have those dreams


what will it take


to feel safe again?!


September 11th what a mess!


Those reminders have my eyes tearing


have my insides turned to shreds


will we truly be the same again?!


Why oh Why September 11th did you have to happen!?!
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Old September 2 2014, 07:20 AM   #2
Locutus of Bored
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

You are the Maya Angelou of mass murder.
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Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
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Old September 2 2014, 09:26 AM   #3
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

I stopped reading about a quarter of the way through, mostly because of the unnecessarily large spaces between lines.
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Old September 2 2014, 10:55 AM   #4
Zulu Romeo
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
You are the Maya Angelou of mass murder.
21st Century's William McGonagall.
Something like that but with somewhat less doggerel.
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I continue to be Zion Ravescene...
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Old September 2 2014, 11:05 AM   #5
Locutus of Bored
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

RoJoHen wrote: View Post
I stopped reading about a quarter of the way through, mostly because of the unnecessarily large spaces between lines.
The spaces symbolize the divide between the fractured pre and post-9/11 American psyche. The abyss between lines beckons to the reader, inviting them to give in to despair, before the next stanza reminds us that we, as a nation and a people, still have so much left to achieve.
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My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
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Old September 2 2014, 11:17 AM   #6
Pingfah
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

I'm sorry if you are still feeling anxiety SpockKirk.

I do feel you have rather overestimated the death toll though. And if it makes you feel any better, planes fly low around cities because they have to land. That's not likely to change soon.
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Old September 2 2014, 01:22 PM   #7
Ethros
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

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Old September 2 2014, 09:46 PM   #8
Squiggy
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Not everyone's creative tendencies need to be encouraged.
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Old September 2 2014, 11:25 PM   #9
Tora Ziyal
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Spockkirk, kudos for having the guts to post your poem here! We're not an easy audience.

Pingfah wrote: View Post
I'm sorry if you are still feeling anxiety SpockKirk.

I do feel you have rather overestimated the death toll though. And if it makes you feel any better, planes fly low around cities because they have to land. That's not likely to change soon.
This, exactly.

FYI, about three thousand people died.

Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
RoJoHen wrote: View Post
I stopped reading about a quarter of the way through, mostly because of the unnecessarily large spaces between lines.
The spaces symbolize the divide between the fractured pre and post-9/11 American psyche. The abyss between lines beckons to the reader, inviting them to give in to despair, before the next stanza reminds us that we, as a nation and a people, still have so much left to achieve.


Zion Ravescene wrote: View Post
21st Century's William McGonagall.
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Old September 2 2014, 11:36 PM   #10
CorporalClegg
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

I read between the lines and found emptiness, which is how I felt that day.
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Old September 2 2014, 11:42 PM   #11
auntiehill
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Zion Ravescene wrote: View Post
Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
You are the Maya Angelou of mass murder.
21st Century's William McGonagall.
Something like that but with somewhat less doggerel.
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Old September 2 2014, 11:47 PM   #12
Zulu Romeo
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

auntiehill wrote: View Post
Zion Ravescene wrote: View Post
Locutus of Bored wrote: View Post
You are the Maya Angelou of mass murder.
21st Century's William McGonagall.
Something like that but with somewhat less doggerel.
They say I'm a poet but I just don't knoet.
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I continue to be Zion Ravescene...
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Old September 2 2014, 11:49 PM   #13
Melakon
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Tora Ziyal wrote: View Post
Spockkirk, kudos for having the guts to post your poem here! We're not an easy audience.
We don't even kiss on the first date.
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Old September 3 2014, 12:26 AM   #14
KimMH
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Re: September 11th what a mess poem

Tora Ziyal wrote: View Post
Spockkirk, kudos for having the guts to post your poem here! We're not an easy audience.

:
This.

Tip: you will always find a kind hearted response from TZ here.
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Old September 3 2014, 03:31 AM   #15
Spockkirk
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Location: USA
Re: September 11th what a mess poem

My heart is breaking I thought I would share my feeling I'm sorry for messing up.
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