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Old April 1 2012, 05:12 AM   #91
Gibraltar
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Thru Chapter 16

I'm glad to see Dahlgren's calling in backup, given the seriousness of the situation and how many civilian lives are at stake. Great idea splitting his forces with the prize crew aboard the White Cloud to investigate Inderi's origins.

I hope I'm wrong, but I've got a bad feeling about the fate of all those colonists.
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Old April 1 2012, 01:21 PM   #92
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Wow, what an ending. Things really got heated and personal there. For a moment it really stretched believability how aggressively the ambassador went after Dahlgren and his family. Then you tagged on the perfect explanation with a terrifically evil conspiracy against our hard-nossed captain. All that was missing was round of maniacal laughter.

This was truly a epic undertaking and I'm still stunned by how quickly you were able to churn out such a series of compelling stories and if the ending is any indication, there'll be more adventures of the newly redeemed Republic in the future.

Outstanding job.
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Old April 2 2012, 06:44 AM   #93
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Into Chapter 18 now, and Dahlgren's undertaking a dangerous but bold plan to either rescue the colonists or failing that, destroy the aliens' long-range transporter system.

At some point, I'm thinking the crew's going to stop gawking at him for a few seconds whenever he tells them what crazy, ambitious plan he's going forward with!

Here's hoping the aliens don't think Republic's bluffing and try and call... wrong ship, and definitely the wrong captain to underestimate.
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Old April 2 2012, 03:40 PM   #94
TrekkieMonster
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

MasterArminas wrote: View Post
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a blast writing this. It is complete. I may, after a little rest, start work on a Book II. For now, however, this is it.

I hope you have enjoyed the ride, and that I was able to contribute a small measure to the Star Trek universe.

Master Arminas
It's been an enjoyable ride for me, too. Thanks!

I wanted to say that I really like how you wrapped it up,


I was having some trouble understanding why Ambassador Mar was being such a ... well, to put it bluntly, ... an irrational bitch. But, that last scene in her stateroom on the Vancouver made it all clear ... and gave me chills. Well done! Looking forward to your next installment.
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Old April 2 2012, 06:16 PM   #95
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

This has been a really awesome story. The characters and everything have been mind-blowing. I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Keep up the great work, please.

:b olian:
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Old April 3 2012, 07:41 PM   #96
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

It’s bad enough to be facing a prospective foe whose ‘military’ is made up of overgrown children ( literally) but then to have a subordinate captain who disagrees with your course of action try and undermine your command… yeah, Dahlgren’s having quite the day.

True, Captain Myers did try repeatedly to have the conversation in private, but I’m thinking Dahlgren had already guessed as to the topic. Though I agree with Dahlgren putting Myers in his place (a crisis situation is no place to start a territorial pissing match), calling him out for a duel was definitely over the line.

Granted, I’d pay good money to see Dahlgren shove a couple of feet of steel through Myer’s midsection, but man, you just can’t say that stuff on an open comms channel!

Again, wonderful dialogue here, and you’ve got a knack for explaining the technical details of their situation without overwhelming the narrative with exposition. I know from experience that’s a tough balance to achieve.

I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
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Old April 4 2012, 05:02 AM   #97
MasterArminas
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

A lot of folks (I mean a lot) didn't care for the ending. So here is an alternate. You guys let me know which one works better and that will be the true ending.

Chapter Twenty-Three (cont.)

Bridge to Captain Dahlgren,” the speaker announced. Matt frowned and he sat back in his chair in his ready room and tapped his comm badge. “Go ahead, Mister Shrak.”

Captain, Vancouver has transported the Council Delegation to the surface—with one exception. Ambassador Delena Mar has transported to the ship. She is demanding a private meeting with you.”

Matt sighed, “Escort her to my ready room, Mister Shrak.”

The Captain stood, and smoothed out the wrinkles in his uniform as the chime sounded.

“Come.”

The door slid open and the Ambassador, her aide, and Chan entered Matt’s office. “Captain Dahlgren, may I pre . . .”

“He knows who I am,” the Ambassador snapped. “You are excused.”

“Madame Ambassador, welcome aboard Republic. Commander Shrak, would you care to join us—please everyone take a seat.”

Mar glared at Matt. “I said he was excused; my business is with you.”

“Unfortunately, Madame Ambassador, you are not in command here,” Matt answered as he took his seat without waiting for the Councilwoman. “I am.”

Chan’s antennae quivered as the Argellian’s skin flushed red and her aide had a pained look on his face. “Captain Dahlgren, if you would excuse me, I am supervising the transfer of the final load of stores from Portsmouth to our cargo holds.”

“Of course, Mister Shrak. I will join you shortly on the bridge.”

The Andorian nodded his head, smartly turned on his heel, and exited the ready room, antennae still twitching.

Matt took off his reading glasses and set them down on the desk in front of him. He sat back and folded his hands in front of him. “And what may I do for the Federation Council today, Madame Ambassador?”

Mar took her seat, her aide still standing off to one side behind her. “You can resign,” she hissed.

“Request denied,” Matt answered with a small twitch of his lips.

“I’ve read the reports on the Lorsham Affair, Captain Dahlgren. I am fully aware that despite that charade of a court-martial, you are guilty of breaking the Prime Directive. You do not deserve to wear that uniform and this ship does not deserve to remain on active duty.”

“And yet, here we both are, Madame Ambassador. I do hope that you did not travel for more than four standard weeks to New Columbia in order simply to ask me to resign; you could have easily have gotten my answer over sub-space radio.”

“No, Captain, I intend to fully participate in the Council Inquiry into exactly what happened here at New Columbia. You are an anachronism, a throw-back to the bad old times, a myrmidon who relishes in the power at your fingertips in the form of phasers and torpedoes. You are consumed with violence, and it is always your first answer—and that Captain is an abomination to the Federation. And I will uncover the Truth of your activities out here, no matter how deeply your Starfleet buries it.”

The Ambassador straightened her spine and she sniffed. “I had hoped that some small portion of your intelligence might remain that has not been overcome by your naked aggression; that you would see the sense in what I ask and resign to spare yourself—and others—the shame of what is to come.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Madame Ambassador; what precisely is to come?”

“Sooner or later, Captain, you will cross the line. This ship will reveal its true dishonor to the entire galaxy. And when that day arrives, I intend to see that you get everything that you so richly deserve.”

Matt frowned, and he rocked back and forth in his chair for a moment. “Madame Ambassador, I fear that you will have a long wait.”

“Really? This coming from a Starfleet Captain who threatened a fellow officer with murder. A Captain who condones the theft of weapons of mass destruction. A Captain who ignores the regulations when they do not suit him. No, Captain Dahlgren, your history indicates that you will go too far one day, and on that day, I will be waiting.”

“But not today, Madame Ambassador,” Matt replied.

Delena Mar smiled cruelly. “No, not today, Captain Dahlgren. Today, you are a hero of the Federation, a brave Captain whose actions resulted in the loss of an entire starship and her crew, but you did save the colonists of New Columbia and establish peaceful contact with the Nephkyrie. Of course, you did abduct a being in neutral space, you lied to our Romulan allies, you took it upon yourself to decide Federation policy in lieu of the Council—so I thought that you might appreciate reading our preliminary report.”

She extended her hand and her aide placed a PADD in it. She set the PADD on the desk and slid it across to Matt. Matt picked up his reading glasses and placed them on his head, and he scrolled through the document; he read it again and then he sat the PADD down and removed the eyewear, folding its legs and placing them atop of the electronic device.

“I see that the art of fiction writing is still alive and well, Madame Ambassador. It was kind of you to at least mention Republic in that dispatch where you give credit to Captains Myers and Salok, as well as Commanders Carmichael and Philips for resolving the situation. Although, your mention implies that were it not for Republic there would not have been a situation to resolve in the first place.”

“That part is true, Captain Dahlgren. Without your ship arriving here unscheduled, it would have been another Starfleet vessel—a more reputable and honored Starfleet vessel—that would have dealt with the Nephkyrie. And with your penchant for issuing threats—threats that could be considered conduct unbecoming a Starfleet officer—it is for the best that your role here be . . . understated.”

“Madame Ambassador, whatever your problems with me,” Matt said, “this crew deserves their valor be acknowledged.”

“Captain Dahlgren, I don’t give a damn about this crew. Or this ship. Or you, for that matter. All of you are guilty of crimes against the Federation—and you should suffer for that. Today, you get yet another chance to postpone the reckoning. But I will be watching, Captain Dahlgren—and I will be counting the votes in the Council very carefully. So step lightly.”

Delena Mar stood, followed by her aide and Matt. “Do us both a favor, Captain,” she said with a beaming smile on her face; a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Do try and get yourself killed on the frontier. It would make my job so much easier.”

Without waiting for an answer, the Ambassador and her aide turned and left the ready room.


Epilogue

“We are clear of Portsmouth, Sir,” Isabella called out from her station. “Course heading Two-Two-Seven Mark Forty.”

“Increase to half-impulse, Miss Montoya,” Matt said quietly. “When we clear Balao’s perimeter patrol take us to Warp 9. Next stop, the Cygnus Sector.”

“Aye, aye, Sir,” the helmsman answered sharply. “Accelerating to Warp Factor 9.”

And Republic surged forward and shot past the light-speed barrier.

************************************************** ************

Delena Mar watched as the streak of light Republic left in her wake faded. She turned away from her window aboard the Vancouver and walked back over to the table her aide and another man hidden by the shadows was sitting at.

“We can try to convince the rest of the delegation that he is a loose cannon,” her aide said. “We have his threats to Myers and his actions on McKinley Station and against the Lorsham; surely that will be enough . . .”

“No, Jas,” Delena answered as she took her seat and picked up a cup of tea. “I cannot afford to expend the political capital over this matter just now, not if I intend to become President in two years. But then, perhaps we do not have deal with Dahlgren and his ship ourselves. Isn’t that correct, Lord Mak’vegh?”

“That p’tahk cost my House dearly; he destroyed the plans of many years. Yes, Ambassador, he has many enemies, and I shall be the one who drinks of his blood.”

“Chancellor Martok has declared you a renegade, Lord Mak’vegh; you understand I cannot and will not come to your defense?”

“Martok’s end draws nigh. And I may be in exile, but I retain more than enough strength to pay Dahlgren fully for what he cost me. What a pair shall we make, Ambassador—Chancellor and President, ushering in a new era for the Federation and Empire.”

Mar smiled. “After you remove Dahlgren and his ship from play, Mak’vegh, we can discuss how our future realm shall be arranged. For now, pay attention to the present. I believe that Jas here has those schematics you requested—complete plans for Republic, including her command codes.”

The Klingon barked out a laugh and he took the data-card Jas held out to him. “Your thorn will soon be no more, Madame President.”

She lifted her cup of tea in a salute, and Mak’vegh drank deep of his blood-wine.
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Old April 4 2012, 11:17 AM   #98
theonering
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

I prefer the original ending. I think it sets up the story going forward better, and there's a lot more potentially at stake than just captain dahlgren and the republic's reputation and future.
I'd be interested in hearing what the prevailing criticism was against the original ending that made you feel like it needed a rewrite?
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Old April 4 2012, 03:32 PM   #99
MasterArminas
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

I'll let you read them yourself: http://forums.spacebattles.com/showt...219769&page=12 if you care to. There are links to the prior THREE threads of commentary on the first page (74 pages in total with 1,833 posts).

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Old April 4 2012, 09:28 PM   #100
CeJay
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Another vote here for the original ending which I liked a lot better. Mar's personal and irrational feud with Dahlgren and Republic is much more believable, I thought, if it is driven by twisted fanaticism and/or mind wash of an alien race. I also liked how it linked into the earlier story-line.

I don't really see how Dahlgren should be a concern to the ambassador's ambitions in the alternate ending.
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Old April 4 2012, 10:26 PM   #101
theonering
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

After reading everyone else's criticism, I'd still have to say I prefer the original ending.
But I would be the first in line to read the sequel no matter which ending you choose to build on.
My only advice to you would be to stick with your guns. And follow through on the vision you have for the story going forward. Remember... They are your characters, it's your universe. The rest of us are just along for the ride.
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Old April 5 2012, 12:51 AM   #102
TrekkieMonster
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

I also have to vote for the original ending. I can see where the second version might leave you a bit more flexibility in the future but, to be honest, it just seems a bit too ... tame, if you will, for the story you told. If your Dahlgren wasn't who you portrayed him to be, this "gentler" ending would be fine, but I personally feel your original was more fitting for the story you told. Just my 2 cents worth.

And I, too, will be looking forward to the sequel, regardless.
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Old April 7 2012, 12:21 AM   #103
Gibraltar
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Okay, having now read both, I have to agree with the others who liked the original ending better. Mar’s dark ambition was cut off at the knees by Dahlgren, and justifiably so. I almost considered his threat to kill the ambassador to be going too far, but in the face of her threats to his children’s safety… that’s where the kid gloves come off.

The original ending was truer to your characters, and I for one don’t think for a second that Mar isn’t still searching for some way to undermine Dahlgren’s reputation and that of Republic as a whole.

This was a rollicking, swashbuckling tale of intrigue, adventure, and of tainted honor reclaimed though glorious deeds.

Consider me onboard for the further missions of Captain Dahlgren and the good ship Republic!
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Old April 10 2012, 04:01 AM   #104
MasterArminas
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

All right, then. The original ending it shall be. Thank you all and I am glad that you enjoyed the tale.

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Old May 27 2012, 12:00 AM   #105
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Re: Star Trek: Republic

Just a quick update: I have begun an outline for Star Trek: Republic (Book II: Blood Ties). First snippet/chapter/prologue (whatever) should be up by June 1.

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