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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Voyager

Voyager There's coffee in this forum!

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Old March 20 2015, 01:18 AM   #1
Catarina
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Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



fonzob1 wrote: View Post



"I"m still trying to swallow down my last bite of Neelix' latest culinary creation. I can't bring myself to do it."

joededman wrote: View Post


KJ: I picked up these flowers because they made me think of you. Guess which ones specifically?
tharpdevenport wrote: View Post


Where will you be when your space diarrhea comes back?

tharpdevenport wrote: View Post


Chacotay: "Oh, I'm sorry, are we bowing now?"

Janeway: "No, I crapped by pants. Computer, granny panties, size large, hot."
locutus101 wrote: View Post


Janeway: Hey Chak! There's a monkey on my back pulling on my ponytail! It hurts!

Chak: That's not a monkey. It's Neelix.

Janeway: Six of one...! Do something about it!!!
Mr.LaserBeam wrote: View Post


Chakotay: Captain, I recommend a commendation for whichever crewman installed this urinal in Astrometrics.
Nebusj wrote: View Post



Janeway: ``OK, my hair has engaged full deflectors. Now what's this shocking news?'
'
...............


DexterRemmick wrote: View Post

That awkward moment when two officers break the tension by breaking wind. At the same time.
"Jinx!"


Janeway: "I don't know what they've been saying, but I have not, I repeat not, been leaving the seat up."


fonzob1 wrote: View Post



"Wait a second. You want me to strap on a dildo and do what?"
...............


A tie:
NerysMyk wrote: View Post


JANEWAY: It's not really Popeye without a pipe.

Triskelion wrote: View Post

ChakotesMaGoats: Pink Tulips...bowl of salty nuts... aromatic oil candles... mood lighting... Are you trying to give me a sign, Captain?
Janewut: MERGE.
ChakotesMaGoats:
Just tell me yes or no....
Janewut: SLIPPERY WHEN WET.
ChakotesMaGoats: Whatever you want....
Janewut: ENTER WHEN READY
ChakotesMaGoats: Just let me know.
Janewut: SLOWWWWWWW
ChakotesMaGoats: Any sign at all....
..............


QUOTE=hux;10814149]



Janeway: Hang on, so you're saying the mobile emitter has spawned a huge Borg drone......I'm really getting sick of this shit
I was too, Captain.


Next week I'll have a new award to compete for. Onward to deck five!










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Old March 20 2015, 01:36 AM   #2
Nerys Myk
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



EMH: I'm just surprised the ship actually has a pilot light.
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Old March 20 2015, 01:40 AM   #3
Nerys Myk
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



PETER: I'm sorry Tinkerbell. The pixedust isn't working on these two.
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Old March 20 2015, 11:51 AM   #4
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



MARTHA: "What do you mean, they're killing off Seska to make way for some rehabilitated Borg? That's horseshit! Seska and Suder are the two coolest characters on VOYAGER, they're not getting rid of us. When are you going to stop stirring the pot? ... Huh?!"

BOB: "I don't make-up the news. I just report it."
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Old March 20 2015, 01:13 PM   #5
tharpdevenport
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay

My terrible humor won. ;-)


So, time to re-use an image and caption from the last contest:



"Wait a second. You want me to strap on a dildo and do what?"

MINUTES LATER...

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Old March 20 2015, 02:52 PM   #6
hux
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay

Already onto the next caption competition Speedy

Thanks for the win.



Paris: Try eating your own god damn food
Neelix: No!!!



Doctor: If we don't cure this man soon, his anus will explode all over the place
Chakotay: I'm afraid it's too late doctor



Doctor: As requested....Michael Sullivan inside a snow globe......merry Christams captain!
Janeway: Idiot, I said I wanted Michael Sullivan inside me for a slow probe



Seska: If the baby isn't Chakotay's then how come it's so boring and has no enthusiasm for anything....answer me that doctor!



Kazon: That's right, you put your hand there and tell me I've been a very bad girl.....then I tell you that you're a big handsome warrior
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Old March 20 2015, 05:11 PM   #7
tharpdevenport
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



"TELL ME WHO THE WINNERS ARE for Voyager Caption Contest 125: The Trouble with Tom, now!"

"I'm too lazy!"
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Old March 20 2015, 10:50 PM   #8
joededman
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay

Whoo hoo! A little success creates an overwhelming desire to try and repeat.

Thanks Catarina.



That's right Neelix. Open wide for some of YOUR OWN DAMN LEOLA ROOT Spring rolls.



Mulgrew: You know, I can't even be bothered to act surprised by what ever cheap lame crap the FX guys are going to add in post.



Seska: I heard that you could really light things up in the sack.
EMH: Yea, well if the ship travelled an extra couple of light years for every time I've heard that line, we'd be home by now.
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Old March 21 2015, 07:51 AM   #9
Ithekro
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



EMH: You know I think you are actually a Klingon, pretending to be a Romulan, pretending to be a Cardassian, who was pretending to be a Bajoran.

Seska: Oh you are so very, very close, Doctor. I'm actually a Time Lord, pretending to be a Human, pretending to be a Klingon, pretending to be a Romulan, pretending to be a Cardassian, who was pretending to be a Bajoran. Later I am going to regenerate into a Borg, and be back to taunt you.
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Old March 21 2015, 03:15 PM   #10
JirinPanthosa
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



NEELIX: AHH! Okay, I'll stop putting liola root in everything!
TUVOK: And?
NEELIX: I'll stop paying you visits and being a dick about your emotionlessness!




DOC: I'm sorry. I operated for ten hours straight, but I couldn't save his personality.



MU JANEWAY: Your people have been gradually switching places with my people. Obviously, you're doing this intentionally to capture the ship. So I've programmed the transporters to continuously monitor the ship and transport any non-crewmembers who appear into space.
MAN: Okay, okay, I'll bring your crew back!
MU JANEWAY: That's right. We're all unfailingly competent in this dimension.



SESKA: Say it.
DOCTOR: *sigh* Please state the nature of the sexual emergency.
SESKA: Beautiful. Continue the Doctor's reprogramming. Try to make him look like Chakotay.



CHAKOTAY: Cullah? What do you want? Why are you still following us? Seska is dead!
CULLAH: I want to come with you to the alpha quadrant. I can't stop fantasizing about Cardassians, and I hear there are billions of them there.
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Old March 21 2015, 04:51 PM   #11
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay

T4TW Catarina!



EMH: After replacing his lungs, for a hundred credits more I can give you a holographically-enhanced bodybuilder chest. Or for a thousand more I can give you the full, ahem, package.
Kes: Sold!




EMH: Thanks for helping me decontaminate all the radioactive conduit gunk from the patient.
Chakotay:
Yikes!
EMH:
Now that B'Elanna's pelvic exam is finished, help me with the Malon.




Janeway: Computer, put up a level one forcefield around mister touchy-feely. And increase structural integrity field around the Captain's coif by forty percent.
Computer: Affirmative.
Janeway: And reprogram the Omega Directive protocols to these settings.




Seska: I'd like to schedule a gyno exam, doctor. Kazon doctors -
EMH: Are untrained in Cardassian physiology?
Seska: Are incapable of being reprogrammed to violate their ethical standards while on video.
EMH: Ha, I thought - wait, what?




Chakotay: So they brought you here to see your first human. Take a good look. You won't see any hate in my eyes. I'm a gentle man from a gentle people who wish you no harm.
Kazon: I gotta get my own washing machine.

Last edited by Triskelion; March 21 2015 at 07:02 PM.
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Old March 22 2015, 03:39 AM   #12
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay

Thanks for the ``You Must See''! I'll try to live up to the standard.




The Doctor: ``It's most serious. If we can't recover from the Vidiians Neelix's ability to yawn naturally he'll never be able to interact with Commander Chakotay again.''




The Doctor: ``Ah, yes, the old exploding hypospray trick ... that's the fourth time this month I've fallen for it.''
Chakotay: ``You've fallen for it?''




``I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! See this? I'm not touching you!''
Janeway: ``Computer, delete the oxygen.''




The Doctor: ``Well, I've never before --- I'm sorry, are you wearing broccoli on your shoulder pads? The heck?''




``I've always wanted to strangle the Man in the Moon from A Trip To The Moon!''
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Old March 23 2015, 12:02 AM   #13
2takesfrakes
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



... I don't know how long they tortured him, but through the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words: "SHIRE! BAGGINS!"
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Old March 23 2015, 05:59 PM   #14
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



Mal Reynolds (behind the forcefield): "What kind of gorram witch craftery is this?"

Janeway: "It's a forecefield."

Mal: "Shiny."

Janeway: "By the way, my deeply inferior show will lat seven seasons and yours not a full one. And they'll move the pilot around."

Mal: "Not so shiny."
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Old March 23 2015, 07:09 PM   #15
Triskelion
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Re: Voyager Caption Contest 128: Real action is in Sickbay



Neelix: Fourteen episodes! Fourteen episodes!
EMH: Get me a sedative! It was canceled in 2003, for crying out loud!
Neelix: ..............Fourteen episodes! Fourteen episodes!
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