Hello everyone! Hope you all had a good New Year. I'm now back from my brief holiday hiatus with a new episode of my Deep Space Nine Season 10 fan-fic project. For those who want to catch up on the first half of the season, here are the links to the previous threads containing the previous stories: Original discussion thread, covering Episodes 1 to 7 Discussion thread for Episode 8 Discussion thread for Episode 9 Discussion thread for Episode 10 Discussion thread for Episode 11 Discussion thread for Episode 12 Direct links to the PDFs of episodes 1 to 12: 10x01 - "Emancipation" 10x02 - "Brave New World" 10x03 - "Steppin' Out" 10x04 - "Easy Come, Easy Go" 10x05 - "Deep Down" 10x06 - "The Dream Box" 10x07 - "Instinct" 10x08 - "Property Values" 10x09 - "Blank Slate" 10x10 - "In Two Minds" 10x11 - "Harmony" (part 1 of 2) 10x12 - "Heresy" (part 2 of 2) If anyone wants a quick reminder of what's happened in the season thus far, without going back to read every single episode again, here are some quick recaps, spoiler coded so as not to spoil those who haven't yet read the full versions: Spoiler: 10x01 “Emancipation” A group of admirals comes to the station to debrief the crew about their recent activities. Taran’atar’s attempts to help the freighter ship Even Odds are met with distrust and hatred. Spoiler: 10x02 “Brave New World” A new kai is elected, Sisko celebrates his baby daughter’s birthday and fights with Vaughn, and Taran’atar returns to the Dominion only to discover it is in chaos. Spoiler: 10x03 “Steppin’ Out” Vic Fontaine steps out of the holodeck to explore life with his friends on the station. Dax tries to find a way to tell Bashir that she’s transferring. Spoiler: 10x04 “Easy Come, Easy Go” Old friends return to the station while others get ready to depart, with both bringing up emotional issues for the crew. Taran’atar returns as the new official Dominion Ambassador. Spoiler: 10x05 “Deep Down” Various crew members begin suffering from a series of nightmares, leading to paranoia on the station and Bashir’s desperate search for the cause. Spoiler: 10x06 “The Dream Box” The discovery of an ancient Hebitian city on Cardassia leads to more political upheaval and bloody consequences for everyone, including “Uncle” Garak. Spoiler: 10x07 “Instinct” The O’Brien family’s escape from Cardassia brings young Yoshi back to the station, where Kira gets attached. Taran’atar’s visions of the Vulcan woman L’Haan grow increasingly powerful. Spoiler: 10x08 “Property Values” Treir’s old slave-master appears, leading Quark to offer her asylum in his bar. But a bitter Orion and three impatient Ferengi warships could spin the whole situation out of control. Spoiler: 10x09 “Blank Slate” Ro bangs her head and is forced to live through her whole life of memories again – she doesn’t like what she sees. Taran’atar’s problems with the illusory L’Haan come to a head. Spoiler: 10x10 “In Two Minds” Finally realizing that Taran’atar is possessed by the katra of the Intendant’s dead handmaiden, Vaughn summons her opposite number to help. But certain people have other ideas. Spoiler: 10x11 “Harmony” Kira tries to rally the Federation, the Bajorans, the Eav’oq and the Dominion all together to address the Ascendant situation. Meanwhile Dax returns, leading to more arguments with Bashir. Spoiler: 10x12 “Heresy” Kira’s attempt at peaceful contact with the Ascendants goes disastrously wrong, until a vision from the Prophets tells her of a new direction. Fed up with the entire situation, Bashir resigns his post. All episodes are also available at the Ad Astra fan-fic archives, link here. . With all that out of the way, here at last is episode 10x13 - "The Case of the Flamping Flurble." Enjoy! .
. TEASER FADE IN: 1 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - ESTABLISHING Pleasant standard establishing shot, featuring the Defiant at rest and at least one Bajoran shuttle docked. 2 INT. DS9 – PROMENADE 2 One of the circular airlocks rolls open, and a small procession of new arrivals emerge from the Bajor shuttle. Bajorans, humans, Starfleet officers, others. Among them is JAKE, holding the hand of RENA. Rena steps over the threshold, looking around in quiet amazement at everything around her. As they move further into the Promenade, a random ALIEN passes by on his own business. Rena blinks a little at the sight of him. Jake sees her reaction. She gives a sheepish smile in reply, daunted but excited at the new experiences. 3 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR 3 Lunch-time crowd. Customers sat at the bar, at tables all over the place, and a small collection at the dabo tables. Jake and Rena enter. Rena is still somewhat nervous - just the sheer crowds are a little overwhelming for a small-town girl like her. A shout of victory goes up from the dabo table, and she’s startled. She looks over to see HETIK is congratulating a new winner. NOG and SHAR are sat side-by-side at the bar, both with small plates of food and padds – a working lunch. Jake and Rena approach – Nog turns at the sound of their footfalls. NOG Jake! Nog jumps off his stool and hugs Jake in welcome. Then he does the same to Rena. Behind them, Shar also stands with somewhat more decorum, polite but friendly. Under all that: JAKE Hey, Nog. NOG You guys! It’s great to see you. What are you doing here? JAKE It’s Rena’s first trip to the station. I wanted to show her where I used to live. RENA (bashful) First trip off the planet altogether. Rena looks past Nog to Shar, who is politely waiting to be acknowledged. She gazes a little bemused at his blue skin and antennae. She’s never seen an Andorian before. NOG Oh! Jake, you remember Shar? JAKE Of course – we met at the Federation signing ceremony, right? How are you? SHAR I am well, thank you. It is a pleasure to see you again, Mr Sisko. JAKE Jake, please. And this is Rena, my wife. SHAR Thirishar ch’Thane. Welcome to Deep Space Nine, Mrs Sisko. NOG How long are you staying? JAKE Oh, we don’t know yet. There’s a lot of things I want to show her, a lot of people to catch up with. RENA (grin) It’s all he’s talked about for weeks. JAKE Why, are you in a rush? NOG Kind of, yeah. (re padds) Shar and I were just finalizing our plans for a little mission. We’re supposed to leave this afternoon. SHAR In fact, if you’ll excuse me, there are things I must do in Ops before we leave. Shar turns and picks up his padd from the counter. He’s a little uncomfortable, feeling like the odd one out. But he’s not unpleasant about it. NOG I’ll catch up with you later. Jake and Shar nod their acknowledgements. Jake has no reason to dislike Shar, he just doesn’t know quite what to make of him. Shar turns to leave. Rena calls after him. RENA Nice to meet you. Shar exits. With him gone, Nog returns to his seat and beckons Jake and Rena to join him. He tucks into his food. Rena is still looking around, bemused at all the colourful aliens filling the room. At the far end of the bar, TREIR is working. Rena gazes in wonder again – a bright green woman. Closer to them, sat at the bar, is MORN, guzzling his ale as usual. As Rena gazes at his large lumpy form, the barfly BELCHES loudly. Rena jumps in shock. RENA Ah! NOG (amused) You okay? RENA Just never seen so many different types of people in one place. It takes a little getting used to. NOG You’ve seen aliens before though, right? RENA Well, humans, of course. Although they’re barely any different, really. The occasional Cardassian when I was younger, during the Occupation. Although even they didn’t really bother with Mylea all that much. They pretty much left us to ourselves. And I’ve seen lots of different faces on the Bajoran news nets since we joined the Federation. But... JAKE But seeing them in the flesh is another matter. RENA Yeah... I thought Bajorans came in all the colours. But we don’t have blue, or green, or orange, or purple, or... whatever you call that colour. It’s... well, it’s wonderful! So much life. Jake smiles, clearly charmed. He leans over and gives Rena a kiss on the cheek, which she receives bashfully. Nog smiles – they’re cute together. Then Morn BELCHES again. RENA Ah! Jake chuckles. Rena gives him a playful glare. JAKE So what’s this mission? NOG Oh, nothing big. Just a quick trip through the wormhole to run a check on the subspace relay. JAKE That doesn’t sound too compli- cated. We might still be here when you get back. RENA Why don’t we just come with you? Nog and Jake are both pleasantly surprised by the idea. JAKE Would Kira let us? NOG Probably. I’d have to ask. But honestly, it’s not all that interesting. We’re going through the wormhole, do some tech stuff, and then straight back. RENA So let’s make it interesting. Why don’t we visit a few places while we’re out there? JAKE Are you sure you want to do that? The Gamma Quadrant seems like an awfully big step for your first time off-world. RENA If I’m going on an adventure, I might as well go all the way. NOG (grin) Oh, those are dangerous words. RENA With you two around, it’s almost guaranteed. JAKE Okay then. I guess it’s all decided. Treir drifts over to them. TREIR How are you pretty young things doing over here? Can I get you anything? NOG No need, thanks, Treir. We’ve got to start packing. We’re going on a road trip! Ending on Nog’s grinning, excited face... FADE OUT: END OF TEASER .
. ACT ONE FADE IN: 4 ON KIRA Looking somewhat confused. KIRA A road trip? WIDEN to reveal... 5 INT. DS9 – KIRA’S OFFICE KIRA sits behind her desk. Nog stands hopefully in front. NOG Yes, sir. I’ll make sure the subspace relay is good and solid first, but once that’s done... I thought it might be good for morale. KIRA Nog... are you sure this is a good time to be wandering around the Gamma Quadrant? It’s pretty dangerous out there right now. NOG (grin) Why do you think I’m taking the Rio Grande? The only runabout that’s always brought everyone home safe. KIRA (dubious) Well, okay, I guess. But you’re in command, alright? It’s up to you to take good care of every- one. And the ship. NOG I promise. Trust me, nothing’s going to go wrong. 6 INT. DS9 – PRYNN’S QUARTERS On PRYNN, wearing a fluffy pink robe and drying her hair with a towel, post-shower... PRYNN (excited) A road trip? NOG Yep. Chance to stretch your legs, grab some fun and excitement. Never know what you’ll find. PRYNN Sounds like a great idea. Just let me pack my party clothes and I’ll meet you there. NOG Great! 7 INT. DS9 – OPS CENTRE On Shar, sat at the science console, while Nog leans over it to talk to him. Shar reacts as if to foreign words... SHAR A road trip? NOG (hangs head) Don’t tell me I have to convince you as well, now. Yes, a road trip. We just get in the runabout and see where it takes us. SHAR And this was Rena’s idea? NOG Yes, and it’s a good one. Fun, Shar! You enjoyed the Defiant’s trip through the Gamma Quadrant, didn’t you? Just think of the new discoveries waiting for you. Shar allows a small smile. He knows Nog is just telling him what he wants to hear, but it does sound good. SHAR Very well, Nog. A road trip. NOG Excellent! We’ll be like the DS-Nine Junior Heroes! Fifteen- thirty-hours at the Rio Grande, alright? Prynn’s meeting us there. Shar’s smile drops. SHAR You invited Prynn? NOG Yeah. We’ll need a professional pilot. Why, is it a problem? Shar’s face reflects his uncertainty on that question... 8 INT. RUNABOUT – COCKPIT Prynn is sat in the pilot’s seat. Behind her, Nog, Jake and Rena enter, all carrying small travelling bags. A few steps behind, Shar enters. Prynn turns to greet them all, but her smile freezes a little as she and Shar make eye contact. He nods to her, uncomfortable. Nog is oblivious. NOG Right, everyone throw your bags in the back. There’s a private bed area for the happy couple, and the rest of us... we’ll figure something out. Jake and Rena bustle into the back, followed by Nog. Shar hesitantly approaches Prynn, not sure how to act. SHAR Prynn... you may take the second bunk if you wish. PRYNN No, that’s fine. Somebody’s got to drive. (beat; genuinely) But thank you. Shar nods and turns away towards the back. 9 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE The runabout pad rises up, locking into place. The ship powers up and lifts off. It turns towards the wormhole, swoops around and dives into the opening. 10 INT. RUNABOUT – COCKPIT Prynn piloting, Nog beside her, Shar at a rear console. Jake and Rena stand behind the front seats, gazing out the window at the currents and swirls of the wormhole interior. Jake reaches out to hold Rena’s hand, and she turns to him, happy tears in her eyes. 11 EXT. SPACE The runabout holds position next to an unpowered subspace relay, as seen in 3x15 “Destiny” and 8x23 “Rising Son.” 12 INT. RUNABOUT – COCKPIT Shar and Nog work diligently at various panels, with displays showing schematics of the subspace relay and various other technical stuff. Rena still gazes out of the window at the stars, enchanted. RENA The stars, they’re all different. Jake brings her back a drink from the replicator. She takes it with a smile, and he drapes an arm around her shoulder, joining her in looking out of the window. Prynn is sat with her arms folded, bored. PRYNN I’m bored. When do we get the fun and excitement I was so faithfully promised? RENA I would think you got plenty of excitement, Prynn. Aren’t you the Defiant’s pilot? PRYNN Which would be great if the Defiant ever went anywhere. (beat) Okay, that’s not fair. It’s actually a pretty sweet gig. I mean, the Defiant’s a legend. Everything it did during the war... how could I not want to be a part of that? Nog stops what he’s doing and turns to look at her. NOG You do realise it’s not the same ship, right? PRYNN Yeah, I know. But there are other reasons to be there. NOG (continuing) Although I never did understand how it ended up with the same registry number. PRYNN Ah, well, I asked my dad about that. He says it’s actually a deliberate ploy to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies. NOG (dubious) Really? How so? PRYNN The first Defiant was destroyed at Chin’toka, right? How much propaganda play do you think the Dominion got out of that? Nog allows that it was probably a lot. PRYNN (cont) So what does Starfleet do? It fields an identical ship with the same name, same number, even the same crew. And it carries right on. NOG Which makes the Defiant look more indestructible than ever. PRYNN Not only do Starfleet’s officers come back from the dead, now so do its ships. At the same time, it makes the Dominion look desperate and pathetic for having claimed to destroy it in the first place. Pretty cool, if you think about it. Under all this, Shar has been studiously working, keeping out of the conversation. Now he calls out: SHAR Nog? Your assistance, please? Nog goes back to paying attention to the job. RENA But somebody will still know the truth. PRYNN (shrug) Doesn’t matter what the truth actually is. Only matters what enough people think the truth is. That’s another lesson I learned from my dad, for good or ill. (beat) Anyway, my point - before I got distracted – was that there are other reasons I like being at DS-Nine than just the Defiant. Her eyes flick over to Shar, whose back is turned again, working. She covers quickly. PRYNN (cont) Reconnecting with my dad has been great, once I gave my shoulder a thorough chipectomy. Jake chuckles at the term – no-one else understands it. PRYNN (cont) But yeah, I still like to get out there and burn plasma every now and then. (pointedly) Like somebody promised me. NOG (sing-song) The more you complain, the longer it’ll take me... PRYNN I know, I know. Just busting your chops, Captain. NOG Well, as it happens... Nog looks to Shar, who nods back to him. Nog taps one last control, and his various panels light up with readings. 13 EXT. SPACE (CONTINUOUS) Next to the runabout, the subspace relay comes to life, powering up, running lights shining and manoeuvring itself into position. 14 INT. RUNABOUT – COCKPIT (CONTINUOUS) Shar and Nog are closely watching their panels, while the other three politely stay out of their way. NOG Power readings are steady... SHAR Beginning test signal. One of Shar’s panels changes to show a wave form, with the associated sound. They all wait a little nervously for the return signal...and it comes in with an affirmative beep. NOG Yes! Nog and Shar high-five each other with satisfaction. Jake is surprised and amused to see the gesture. Nog and Shar begin to put away their tools. JAKE Congratulations, you two. I remember when my dad set up the first relay to the Gamma Quadrant – it almost blew up the Defiant. NOG Thankfully we’ve ironed out a few details since then. We’ve done this three times now. SHAR It is becoming something of a tradition. PRYNN Well, good for you. Can we go now? RENA We still have to decide where we’re going. You’ve all been out here a lot more than me. Any ideas? JAKE How about Ee? It’s an entire planet dedicated to shopping. NOG Nah, too far away. (thinks a moment) Oh, I’ve got it! Prynn, check the navigational charts – the Wadi homeworld has to be near here somewhere. RENA Wadi? Who are they? JAKE One of the first people to visit the station after we discovered the wormhole. Sorry - the Temple. Rena pats his arm lovingly – don’t worry about it. NOG They’re crazy about games and gambling. They must know how to show tourists a good time. Prynn spins back to her console and starts hitting buttons. PRYNN Sounds like a plan. Wadi home world, here we come! 15 EXT. SPACE The runabout moves away from the subspace relay and, at a suitable distance, ramps up and jumps to warp. 16 EXT. SPACE – WADI HOMEWORLD A blue-green, lightly cloudy world as seen from the night side, the tell-tale lights of well-lit cities and networks of connections between them. Numerous ships and shuttles move in orbit – some freighters, some pleasure cruisers. The Rio Grande hoves into view, joining the procession. 17 EXT. WADI HOMEWORLD SURFACE – EARLY EVENING The runabout’s hatch hisses open, and Nog, Jake, Rena, Prynn and Shar step out. Nog and Jake come first, in nice smart outfits, chattering excitedly together. JAKE You’ve got a limit, okay? Don’t go crazy with the gambling. NOG Stop heckling me. I’m not the one who married you. Followed by Rena and Prynn, wearing slinky party dresses and talking girl talk. PRYNN Ooh, cute purse! RENA Isn’t it? My friend Halar works in a dress shop – she made it for me for my ih’tanu ceremony. And last is Shar, wearing something that resembles the traditional chan party outfit from 9x09 “Paradigm,” but not quite so formal. He looks rather uncomfortable in it, as if ashamed to be wearing something so garish. As the hatch closes behind them and they walk off, we PULL BACK and see that the runabout is parked on the ground in a giant parking lot filled with various other small shuttles and personal vehicles. NOG Everyone remember where we parked! They walk on through the parking lot. We TILT UP to see what this is the parking lot of: a massive entertainment complex, like a fun fair, Vegas casino and multiplex cinema all combined. Strobes and lasers flash, transport tubes rush vacationers back and forth, big neon signs advertise things in various languages, and the sound of happy partiers reaches us. DISSOLVE INTO: 18 EXT. WADI HOMEWORLD SURFACE – LATE NIGHT The same shot, but now much later at night. The scene is just that little bit quieter, with fewer shuttles parked in the parking lot and the transport tubes fewer between. TILT DOWN. The gang walks back through the parked shuttles towards us. They’re all just slightly tipsy but very happy. JAKE Nog, you were amazing! You cleaned that place out! NOG I’ve got enough pegs here to make us all rich! He jangles the money-filled pockets in the thighs of his trousers for emphasis. Following are Prynn and Rena. RENA Oh, I’m looking forward to getting these heels off. PRYNN I gotta apologise – I really did not see this coming... She turns to look behind her – and there is Shar, well and truly trashed. He’s draped with streamers and leis, wearing huge oversized sunglasses, and holding an enormous tropical drink with fruit and sparklers and more streamers. His antennae have got balls of tinsel stuck onto each end, so that they look like flesh-and-blood beeny-boppers. He’s dancing and singing along to non-existent music, his drink sloshing unnoticed all over the place. But he’s having a whale of a time. SHAR (in between dance moves) Why are we leaving? The party’s only just started! Nog pauses to wait for him. He’s happy that Shar’s having fun, but feels responsible for taking care of him. NOG Come on, Shar. Let’s get you back to the runabout and get you a nice cup of coffee. The group walks a few more steps together, and then they stop, all looking the same direction, and all shocked. Except for Shar, who is still in his own world. JAKE Ummm... We PULL BACK, and now we see what they’re staring at. An empty space in the parking lot. PRYNN Where’s the runabout? As they all stare at the empty space... BLACK OUT: END OF ACT ONE .
. ACT TWO FADE IN: 19 EXT. WADI HOMEWORLD SURFACE – LATE NIGHT Where we left it. No runabout. Nog is freaking out, pacing back and forth with his head in his hands. NOG Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no... JAKE Nog, calm down... NOG Calm down?! Kira’s gonna kill me! JAKE We’ll figure it out... NOG (continuing) You’re in charge, she said. Look after the ship, she said. JAKE Are we sure this is even the right parking space? PRYNN (sad nod) Yeah. Flim twenty-seven pag. NOG (continuing) All our clothes are in there, our uniforms, our phasers, vital tactical information... (sudden thought) My favourite tooth sharpener! RENA How could someone have taken the ship? Aren’t there any security... things? PRYNN Dozens of them. JAKE But apparently somebody can get around them. PRYNN (turns to Shar) Shar, can you sense anything? Shar stops and bobs on the spot for a moment, listening. RENA (sotto) What’s he doing? PRYNN Andorians can sense electrical fields. Their antennae. Shar shakes his head, unconcerned. SHAR Nope. Not a thing. With an amused sigh, Prynn reaches up and removes the balls of tinsel from Shar’s antennae. PRYNN There. Better? SHAR Nope. Music’s too loud. JAKE (suddenly realizes) We’ve still got our combadges. Jake pulls out his combadge and taps it – it makes a dull squittering noise. No good. Prynn does the same, then Rena. No luck on either of them. Nog is still freaking, pacing back and forth. NOG No no no no no no... SHAR Wait a minute! The other four all turn to Shar in hope that he has some wonderful magical solution to their problem. SHAR Where’s the runabout? Slightly annoyed blank stares. CUT TO: 20 INT. WADI POLICE STATION On the Wadi Chief of Police, MUNAD: MUNAD A road trip? Nog face palms. Deep breath. Stay calm. NOG Yes, a road trip. We’re from the Alpha Quadrant, the Federation. We came here just to have some fun at the casino for the night. When we came out of the casino, our ship was missing. Nog sits in a seat across the desk from Munad, in his office at the police station. The trim, middle-aged, uniformed Wadi male is rather harassed, trying to be nice to these strangers, but really doesn’t have time for this. Jake, Rena and Prynn sit elsewhere, all feeling very out of place wearing their party clothes in this stern station. They are also slightly embarrassed that Shar is at the back of the room, still dancing away to the non-existent music. MUNAD Your ship... (checks notes) A “runabout,” you called it? NOG (trying to stay polite) Yes. That’s the type of ship. Its name is the Rio Grande. MUNAD I see. And... what exactly do you think I can help you with? NOG You’re the Chief of Police, aren’t you? When I asked at the casino, they sent me to you. I assumed you would help us find our ship! MUNAD Mister Nog, I am the Chief of Police - of the largest and most popular gaming complex on Wadek. I get about a million people from all over the quadrant – (re Nog) - and beyond, coming through my town every hour. Not all of them are reputable. Do you have any idea how many ships get stolen every day around here? JAKE So you’re just going to do nothing? MUNAD (indignant) My officers and I work every hour of the day and night to ensure that this complex’s customers even wake up in the morning. There are some very unsavoury characters lurking in this town. In fact, we just got a rumour that one of the most notorious criminal gangs in the sector is on their way here. So forgive me, but a little petty theft is never going to be my highest priority. I’m sorry. NOG So what are we supposed to do? MUNAD I’ll take your report, and I’ll do everything I can. But I can’t promise much success. My advice would be to try and find some- where to sleep for the night. 21 EXT. WADI STREETS – LATE NIGHT The lights and sounds of the casino complex can still be heard, but far in the distance. The gang is now far from there, literally and figuratively. Run-down building fronts and businesses locked up tight for the night. Hard metal shutters and graffiti imply not the nicest part of town. Nog leads the group with a piece of paper in his hand, checking it for directions periodically. Prynn keeps an eye all around, feeling rather vulnerable here. Shar is still in his own world, although starting to sag a bit. Jake walks hand-in-hand with Rena, worried for her. JAKE I’m so sorry about this, Rena... RENA Hey, I knew what I was getting into. Not your fault. JAKE Are you okay, though? RENA Well, I am currently stuck on the opposite side of the galaxy with no way to get home, and no belongings except for a skimpy party dress and a cute purse. But, on the plus side, I don’t think I could have any better companions in that situation than three Starfleet officers and the son of the Emissary. Jake looks forward to Nog, with a sigh. JAKE We’re all gonna die. Ahead of them, Nog has stopped. NOG Guys – I think this is it. The gang stops with Nog, and together, they all look up at the building before them. It’s like an alien Bates Motel, or the house from Rocky Horror – large and imposing and gothic. It’s distinctly shabby and run down. One can almost imagine the bats swooping between the gargoyles. 22 EXT. HOTEL – LATE NIGHT A nervous finger reaches in tentatively and presses a door bell. It chimes ominously. Nothing happens for a moment. Finally, slowly, the door creaks open on protesting hinges and with a puff of dust. A face emerges in the gap... ...and BELCHES right in their faces. Far from being ominous or creepy, LEBIKOW is fat, greasy, tattooed and unwashed. The Wadi equivalent of trailer trash, in a stained vest and sweatpants. He stares out of the doorway... ...at the five nervous, hopeful faces looking up at him. Alien faces of all colours – blue, orange, brown. LEBIKOW What is this, some kind of circus troupe? Y’expect me to pay you to sing, or summin’? NOG Umm... no... sir. I’m sorry, are you Farns Lebikow? LEBIKOW Who wants to know? NOG Umm... my name is Nog, sir. My friends and I need a room for the night, and Inspector Munad at the casino complex gave us your information. He said you might be able to help us. LEBIKOW (suspicious) Munad, eh? NOG Yes, sir. Do you have a room? LEBIKOW Yeah, I got a room. You got money? Awkward pause. Jake turns and looks at Nog, expectantly. NOG (reluctant) I have money. Lebikow thinks it over. Snorts his nose. Is gross. LEBIKOW Awright. S’pose I could use the pegs. But it’s cash up front. And I don’t want any messin’ about, awright? NOG Absolutely, sir. You’ll barely know we’re here. Unimpressed and muttering, Lebikow turns around (revealing his stained and filthy sweatpants hiked up into his unmentionables) and plods back into the hotel. Making the best of a bad situation, Nog leads the uncertain gang into the hotel. The door creaks shut behind them. 23 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Lebikow schlubs across the foyer, scratching his ass as he goes. Rena grips tight onto Jake’s hand. He smiles back at her, trying to be encouraging. Prynn has plastered on a big false smile that covers her discomfort. And Shar is just following everyone else, barely aware of where he is. Nog looks around the foyer. This was probably once a nice building. There’s a grand and elaborate staircase leading to the upper floors, and magnificent chandeliers. But it’s all fallen into disrepair, scuffed and dusty. Half the lights are broken, leaving the place shadowy and dim. 24 INT. HOTEL – OFFICE Lebikow leads them all into his office, just off the main foyer room. It’s just as messy as you’d expect, with piles of papers and half-eaten food strewn about. A decrepit old comm screen sits on the filthy desk, with a big stein of beer next to it. Lebikow collapses into a creaky old chair, the effort of doing so making him BURP at the same time. Then there’s a low and dangerous GROWL... Worried, the gang looks into a corner of the room, and sees an ANIMAL, a gigantic alien dog, dark and slavering. It snarls at the strangers, curled up on its pile of filthy rags in the corner. Prynn stretches the big false smile. PRYNN (voice shaking) Well... aren’t you cute? RENA I’d keep your distance if I were you, Prynn. PRYNN Oh, I’m sure he’s a lovable, harmless furball... right? She looks at Lebikow, hopeful. He snorts in derision. LEBIKOW What did you call him? A “flurble”? PRYNN Furball. LEBIKOW (chuckling) You call him a flurble all you want, darlin’. But you get on the wrong side of ‘im, and he’ll flamp yer good an’ proper. JAKE We’ll keep that in mind, sir. Wouldn’t want to get... flamped. LEBIKOW So... show me the pegs. Reluctantly, but knowing he has no choice, Nog reaches into the thigh pockets of his trousers and hauls out a handful of wooden pegs. He places them on the filthy desk. Lebikow looks down at the pegs, then back up at Nog. Waits. With a sigh, Nog pulls out more pegs and drops them on the table. Lebikow grunts in acceptance. He gets up, takes a deep belly-full breath, and hawks up a great wad of phlegm. He yanks up his dirty vest to deposit the phlegm into, and then just lets it lie, staining the fabric even further. LEBIKOW That’s better. Follow me. Our heroes are simply stunned. 25 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Lebikow stomps up the stairs, stained trousers right at eye-level for lucky Jake and Rena following right behind. Nog follows, peering at the broken light fittings and decayed woodwork. At the back, Prynn is gently guiding Shar along, since the Andorian is now distinctly unsteady. 26 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR A long and creepy corridor, with many doors to rooms on either side, but no signs of other residents. Lebikow leads the gang past the doors, Shar wobbling along at the back. 27 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Lebikow throws the door open. The gang file in one by one, taking in the sight of the room less than enthusiastically. It’s just as run down as the rest of the hotel, with ratty and unhygienic twin beds, and a single moth-eaten armchair. PRYNN There’s only two beds. There’s five of us. LEBIKOW This is the best room I got. For that many pegs. Prynn turns and looks pointedly at Nog. NOG This’ll do fine. Lebikow points dismissively at an auxiliary door... LEBIKOW Bathroom’s in there. ...and leaves, slamming the door behind him. Prynn and Jake turn to look at Nog. He stands his ground. NOG During the war, I spent a week on a Jem’Hadar fighter that didn’t even have beds. By comparison this is luxury. PRYNN (sigh) Fine. I guess we’ll try and get some rest. And in the morning, assuming we haven’t all been devoured by bedbugs, we start trying to figure out what happened to the runabout. JAKE Who’s going to sleep where? I don’t really like the look of that carpet. RENA We can squeeze into one bed. (bashful smirk) We’ve done it before. JAKE If I must. Just try to control yourself. Rena jokingly slaps Jake on the arm. PRYNN Okay. So that leaves the three of us to figure out who gets the other bed. Shar, do you - Prynn turns to look at Shar... and finds that he’s already passed out, totally unconscious in the armchair. Giant sunglasses skewed on his head, dribbling out of the corner of his mouth. PRYNN Lovely. BLACK OUT: END OF ACT TWO .
Personally reading scripts isn't my thing, but I'm consistently impressed by the amount of time and effort people are prepared to put into creating a massive body of work like this - I've said the same thing to LnX on several occasions who has also created a vast follow on to Deep Space Nine.
. ACT THREE FADE IN: 28 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Nog is curled up, half-asleep on one of the beds, still in his party outfit. Eyes closed and semi-conscious, he rolls over and instinctively cuddles up closer to Prynn, who’s sharing the bed with him, wearing her party dress. Mumbling in her sleep, Prynn cuddles up to Nog too. The two of them nuzzle closer together, enjoying each other’s body warmth in their half-asleep states. After a while, they begin to realize something’s wrong. They slowly open their eyes... and see each other. NOG / PRYNN Aah! They leap apart from each other. Nog leaps back so far that he tumbles off the side of the bed with a crash. Jake, who had been spooned up with Rena, jerks awake at the noise. JAKE Wha...? What happened? Nog’s head appears from behind the bed. NOG / PRYNN (awkward) Nothing. Prynn struggles to consciousness. She sits up in the bed, looks around the room. It looks just as bad in the dreary daylight as it did in darkness. But the armchair is empty. PRYNN Where’s Shar? In answer, there comes an almighty RETCH from behind the bathroom door, followed by a SPLAT and a HISS – the sounds of something we really don’t want to know about. The noises repeat, worse than the first time... Prynn’s face contorts in mixed sympathy and revulsion. The bathroom door opens, and Shar crawls out on all fours. Wisps of noxious green gas leak out from the bathroom. The sunglasses dangling off one antenna, strewn with streamers, Shar makes it one lurch at a time, back to his armchair. JAKE Okay, so first thing we gotta do is find some food. RENA And some new clothes. PRYNN Nog, how much money do you have left? NOG Oh come on! I won that money fair and square. SHAR (background, half-hearted) Please stop shouting... PRYNN (stern) Nog... NOG (pout) Fine. Wouldn’t dream of trying to make a profit out of our misery. He digs in his pocket and hands a fistful of pegs to Prynn. PRYNN You’re too kind. Rena, you wanna come with me? Let the boys gripe in private? RENA Okay, I guess. Just let me freshen up a bit first. Rena heads to the bathroom, opens the door... RENA OH! Rena coughs and chokes as clouds of the bilious green gas billow out of the bathroom. She immediately pulls back and yanks the door to, heaving, horrified at the smell. RENA (cont) What happened in there? Shar is curled up in a ball in his armchair, his blue skin looking distinctly grey. He pulls a thin and ratty blanket up over his shivering body and croaks out a response. SHAR Apparently Wadi food and drink does not agree with Andorian physiology. Prynn is half amused, half sympathetic. She goes to Shar and lays an affectionate hand on his clammy head. PRYNN Well, your world turned my body inside out. I guess now the Wadi have returned the favour on my behalf. (back to Rena) Come on. We’ll find somewhere else. See you in a few, boys. The girls leave. 29 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Prynn and Rena creep gradually down the large staircase, making sure to avoid the patches of rotten wood. The steps creak a little as they go. As they reach the bottom, they overhear a voice talking... LEBIKOW (o.s.) That’s not what we agreed, and yer know it. Curious, Prynn shushes Rena, and they creep closer to the door to Lebikow’s office. They pause at the edge of the doorway, listening in. Prynn pokes her head around the doorway just a bit... 30 INT. HOTEL – OFFICE Inside the office, Lebikow is sitting at his desk, talking into the grimy old comm screen. His flabby, sweaty back is turned to us, blocking the view of who he’s talking to. LEBIKOW I need the money, awright? So if y’aint gonna pay me what we agreed, I s’pose I’ll just go to somebody else. COMM VOICE (female, w/ static) Calm down, Lebikow. We’re on our way. I’m simply pointing out that we’re working off your say-so here. How do we know the merchandise is what you say it is? LEBIKOW You callin’ me untrustworthy? COMM VOICE If you weren’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. 31 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Where Prynn and Rena are still eavesdropping, and becoming more and more concerned by the word... LEBIKOW (o.s.) Look, just get here, awright? I’ve gotta get rid of these damn kids as it is. I don’t need you lot messin’ me about on top of it, awright? Prynn and Rena exchange alarmed looks – he’s talking about them. That can’t be good. And then there’s a GROWL. Scared, breath catching, the girls slowly turn and see... the flurble, looming out of the darkness under the stairs, looking right at them with eyes burning and jaws drooling, like some classic horror movie monster. Prynn and Rena squeak in fear, and back away towards the stairs. LEBIKOW Who’s there? Lebikow appears in the doorway, anxious he might have been overheard. He sees the girls cowering from the flurble... PRYNN (voice shaking) Sorry, it’s just us. We were heading out to get some food. RENA And some fresh clothes. PRYNN Looks like we disturbed your friend here. Lebikow’s chuckle is both relieved and yet sinister. LEBIKOW I told yer not to upset him. PRYNN Or we’ll get flamped, yes, we know. We’ll just be on our way. Prynn and Rena skitter over to the front door, avoiding the snarling flurble, and get out of there quick as they can. Lebikow watches them go, scowling... 32 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Shar is huddled in the armchair, the blanket pulled up over his head. Nog is moving around the room, tidying the beds, opening the curtains, chatting away cheerily. NOG I was trying to impress the older cadets, convince them I could do anything they could. So I agreed to go drinking with them at the 602 Club. Boy, was that a mistake. SHAR Nog...? NOG Yes? SHAR I appreciate you trying to take my mind off things, but please... shut up. The door opens and Prynn and Rena enter, carrying armfuls of shopping. They also look rather anxious. Jake emerges from the bathroom, having freshened up as best he can. RENA Prophets, how could you stand it in there? JAKE Nog went in first to open the window. NOG When you work for my uncle, you get used to bad smells. Prynn hands packages of clothes to Nog. PRYNN I think we have a problem. Here, put these on. As they talk, the four of them take the clothes packages and begin to get changed - bland and shapeless sweatsuits like Lebikow wears, only cleaner. They move back and forth to the bathroom as needed. Rena also sets up packages of Wadi fast food and drink on a table, to Nog’s delight. NOG Ooh, snacks! PRYNN On the way out, we overheard Lebikow talking to someone. He was trying to sell them some- thing over the comm. Something that sounded like it was worth a lot of money. He definitely didn’t want to be overheard. RENA We think it’s the runabout. JAKE Really? That seems a bit far- fetched. There must be all kinds of shady deals going on in a town like this. But we just happen to end up in the hotel of the guy who stole our ship? I don’t know. You only need to look at him to see he’s hardly a criminal mastermind. NOG (around food) Don’t be so sure, Jake. Never mistake a soft shell for a soft centre. Rule of Acquisition number two-oh-seven. PRYNN Exactly. Besides, he said he was going to “get rid” of us. That certainly gets attention. Even Nog stops chewing. NOG “Get rid”? As in... kill? PRYNN Don’t know. But it sure didn’t sound like he was sending us off with a basket of puppies. JAKE (realizing) We’re in his way. This deal, whatever it is... it’s going down soon, and we’re a comp- lication he doesn’t need. Prynn and Rena nod anxiously. They agree. NOG Okay, so if he’s selling the runabout, he must be keeping it somewhere nearby. Maybe even right here at the hotel. Prynn turns to Shar, buried under his blanket. PRYNN Shar, can you feel anything? Any massive power signatures or subspace signals? SHAR Prynn, please... I can barely feel my face. They sag, disappointed. By now, the four of them have got dressed in their grey sweatsuits. RENA So what do we do? PRYNN We need help. I think we need to go back to the police. NOG Okay... Good idea. Let’s go. He shoves in a last mouthful of food... SHAR (under blanket) I’ll just stay here and die. The other four leave... 33 INT. WADI POLICE STATION On Inspector Munad, sat at his desk again. Prynn, Jake, Rena and Nog are across from him, in their grey sweatsuits. MUNAD Are you serious? That’s your evidence? That you overheard a conversation? PRYNN He’s clearly up to something illegal, Inspector. MUNAD And you just assume it’s to do with your missing ship. JAKE Don’t you think it’s too much of a coincidence that he was trying to sell something so big and expensive just after our runabout gets stolen? MUNAD I’ve already told you, things get stolen here all the time. I also already told you I don’t have time for this. NOG You don’t have time to do your job? Inspector – MUNAD Listen to me. Farns Lebikow is nothing. He’s a greasy lowlife who lucked into that hotel on a bet, and he’s spent every day since running it into the ground. He’s not worth my time or yours, and he’s certainly not involved in any conspiracy to steal ships from gullible foreigners. So please stay out of what doesn’t concern you. (beat) Now if you’ll kindly get out of my office, I have work to do. He puts his head down and gets back to work, ignoring them. On the gang’s astonished faces... 34 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Shar remains curled up in his armchair, alone, covered over by the ratty blanket. He groans gently, suffering the universe’s worst hangover. But then his antennae perk up, moving about under the blanket. They turn one way and then the other, as if searching for something. Concerned, he slowly drags the blanket off his head. And instantly recoils from the not-even-that-bright daylight. SHAR Ohhhh... by Uzaveh... But he’s definitely sensed something. He frowns trying to concentrate, his antennae still searching. He gradually manoeuvres himself to stand, trying to clarify what he’s sensing. After a moment, his eyes widen in alarm. 35 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Prynn, Rena, Jake and Nog enter the hotel through the main door. They’re disappointed, frustrated, annoyed. PRYNN Alright, so that plan’s a bust. Nog stops, listens. NOG You guys hear that? RENA I don’t hear anything. NOG Exactly. There’s nobody here. Lebikow must be out. I can’t even hear that stupid flurble monster thing. JAKE This is our chance. RENA Chance to what? JAKE Snoop. He starts creeping towards the office. NOG Jake! But Jake ignores his friend’s warning. 36 INT. HOTEL – OFFICE Jake creeps into the office, which is deserted. There’s a half-drunk beer and a half-eaten alien burger equivalent on the desk. The flurble’s pile of filthy rags is empty. JAKE Come on, guys. There must be something here that’ll give us a clue. He begins hunting through the loose papers. Reluctantly, the others join in. RENA I don’t like this, Jake. It feels wrong. PRYNN Not as wrong as being killed. (re paper) Hey – here’s something. This looks like financial records. NOG Gimme that. He takes the pages off Prynn and begins to inspect them. JAKE You can’t possibly know how to read Wadi. NOG Financial records are basically the same the galaxy over. All I need is the grand total... here! This shows his account over the last year. He’s in huge debt... (checks; realizes) ...to the casino. PRYNN He’s a gambler. NOG Yup. And not a very good one, apparently. JAKE That explains why he needs the money so bad. RENA Bad enough to kill for it? And then the GROWL comes again. They tense, turn to the door... and there’s the flurble, filling the doorway, hackles raised and teeth bared. PRYNN Ruh-oh. FADE OUT: END OF ACT THREE .
. ACT FOUR FADE IN: 37 INT. HOTEL – OFFICE The flurble prowls a few slow steps into the room, closing in on them. Dropping the papers, the gang backs away. They hit the desk behind them. Nowhere to go. RENA What do we do? JAKE I’ve got it. Get ready to run. Jake moves his hand slowly to the desk, careful not to startle the flurble. He grabs the half-eaten burger, and lobs it across the room towards the flurble’s pile of rags in the corner. The flurble is torn – burger or strangers? Eventually, its flaring nostrils get the better of it, and it rushes to its bed to eat the burger. Our gang take their chance and rush out of the room. 38 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Jake, Nog, Prynn and Rena rush into the room and slam the door behind them. Prynn checks the armchair – it’s empty. PRYNN (worried) Shar? Shar emerges from the bathroom, wearing his grey sweatsuit. He’s looking a little better, but still pretty rough. NOG Hey, you’re up! SHAR Yes, I am. But I still have a warp core breach going on inside my skull, so please try not to shout. Or eat anything. PRYNN Okay, so we know Lebikow’s in debt. That gives him motive. JAKE But we still don’t know for certain he even stole the ship. SHAR Actually, yes, we do. While you were out, my antennae finally cleared up enough for me to start sensing fields again. NOG And you sensed something? SHAR A very big something. Down in the basement. It’s a little muddy, but it certainly feels big enough to be the runabout. JAKE I don’t doubt your senses, Shar. But I still think it’s a pretty big coincidence that we end up staying at this exact hotel. RENA Maybe it’s not a coincidence. PRYNN Yes! (clarifies) No! (confused) What? RENA The Inspector specifically sent us to this hotel, right? He gave Nog the directions. And he flat out refused to help us find the ship, or to listen to what we overheard about Lebikow. JAKE Are you saying the Inspector’s in on it? NOG It makes sense. Somebody had to get through the security on the runabout. A policeman would know how to do that. PRYNN (getting it) And then when we started asking questions, he sent us here and told Lebikow to “get rid” of us. JAKE Oh, hell. Munad’s the brains, Lebikow’s the hatchet man. PRYNN Uh-huh. So what do we do? Jake stops to think it all through in his mind. JAKE Okay – here’s the plan. CUT TO: 39 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Shar, Prynn and Nog creep down the corridor, trying not to make any noise, and keeping a wary eye out for the flurble. JAKE (v.o.) Shar, we need you to pinpoint exactly where this sensation is that you’re sensing. And we need to do it now, before Lebikow comes home. Shar pauses, concentrates on what his antennae are sensing, and then beckons Prynn and Nog to follow him. 40 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR A different corridor in this cavernous maze of a hotel. Jake and Rena creep down it, equally quiet and furtive. RENA (v.o.) But that animal’s still out there. The flurble, or what ever you call it. NOG (v.o.) Right. He’s probably guarding the runabout while his daddy’s out of the house. JAKE (v.o.) Exactly. So some of us need to distract it, while the others find the ship. PRYNN (v.o.) I’ll take that job. 41 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Prynn, Shar and Nog creep down the stairs. SHAR (v.o.) Prynn, are you sure? You could get hurt. PRYNN (v.o.) I faced down a crazy Jem’Hadar and I’m still standing. I’ll be fine. They reach the bottom of the stairs. NOG (v.o.) So how do we distract it? 42 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM Jake smiles victoriously. JAKE The same way I did. Jake goes over to the table and grabs the last remaining burger there. He holds it out. Shar flinches away. JAKE Shar couldn’t eat his burger. He’s still too hung over. But the flurble? He loves them. NOG Aww. I was gonna eat that. 43 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Nog holds the burger in front of him, wafting it around. Shar is concentrating on his antennae... SHAR Definitely the basement. My head’s a little clearer now. PRYNN We need to find the demon guard dog first. NOG Heeeeere, flurble flurble! Come get the tasty... stuff! But there’s no response. That only makes them more worried. It’s out there somewhere. They turn away from the foyer and head down one of the other corridors leading off it. 44 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Nog, Prynn and Shar skulk down the corridor, dingy and deserted. Nog is ahead, holding out the burger for the flurble. Prynn and Shar hover back, keeping watch. SHAR Prynn... I want to explain. My behaviour last night. PRYNN You sure weren’t the usual shy and sheepish Shar. SHAR No, and there is a reason for it. You saved my life, Prynn. PRYNN (awkward) We don’t need to talk about that if you don’t want, Shar. Certainly not right now. SHAR No, I want to. I came back to the station for you, Prynn. You rejected me. That hurt, but I understood your reasons. Still, the feelings didn’t go away. PRYNN Shar, please... not now. SHAR And then on the Defiant... you risked your life to save mine. That proved to me that you had feelings for me too. But you were still right. As much as I wanted to be with you, I felt I would be betraying Th- Before he can finish the word, there’s a GROWL. All three of them stop, worried. The flurble is somewhere nearby. Nog is shaking with fear. He tosses the burger down the corridor. It lands just at the edge of the weak lighting. The GROWL comes again, and the flurble stalks forward out of the darkness. It sniffs at the burger on the ground. NOG Go on... eat it, you mangy - The flurble’s head snaps up, and its eyes pinpoint Nog. CLOSE-UP NOG Eep. The flurble GROWLS louder, ignoring the burger... and then it bursts forwards, running right at them. Prynn garbs hard onto Nog and Shar’s arms... PRYNN Let’s skedaddle! She drags them by their arms and they set off running back down the corridor, the snarling flurble hot on their heels. 45 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Nog, Shar and Prynn dash back into the foyer and sprint up the stairs. The flurble comes pounding after them, taking two or three steps at a time, BARKing furiously. As it passes, Jake and Rena poke their heads around the corner of Lebikow’s office doorway, seeing the flurble chasing their friends. JAKE Go! Jake and Rena bolt out from cover and head down the same corridor the others just came from. 46 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Nog, Prynn and Shar pelt down the corridor... ALL Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! The flurble comes galloping after them... FLURBLE Rraaaaarrrrr! 47 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Jake and Rena find a set of steps heading downwards, much simpler than the grand staircase in the foyer. Clearly this must be the basement. They head down into the darkness. 48 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Nog has stretched ahead of the others, emitting the ear-piercing Ferengi SQUEAL as he runs... NOG Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Shar is lagging behind a bit, still the worse for wear. Out of breath, looking as grey as his sweatsuit. PRYNN Shar, come on! SHAR I can’t... I don’t... The flurble rounds a corner and comes after them again, GROWLing and BARKing, saliva flying from its toothy jaws. Shar puts on an extra burst, against his body’s protests. 49 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Nog, Prynn and Shar rush down the stairs, the flurble in hot pursuit. At the bottom they turn the other way, away from the basement steps... 50 INT. HOTEL – BASEMENT Dark stone passages, none of the formerly fancy woodwork or lighting of the upstairs rooms. Jake and Rena rush down the passage, hunting for something... JAKE Just like when we were stealing from the Drang... RENA The what? 51 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Nog, Prynn and Shar come back around to the staircase, having circled back on themselves. They quickly head back up the stairs again. Nog is still SQUEALing, Shar still GROANing. The flurble comes galloping after, still barking and slavering... 52 INT. HOTEL – BASEMENT Jake and Rena stop at a pair of large doors, tied together with a heavy iron chain and a large padlock. RENA Is this it? JAKE I don’t know. I think so. Why else have such a big lock? RENA How do we get in? Jake takes a deep breath, and starts kicking out hard at the doors, trying to break the chain by sheer force. KICK. And KICK. And KICK. 53 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR Nog, Prynn and Shar run. The flurble chases. They turn a corner. They run. It chases. They turn another corner and keep running. The flurble turns the corner too and keeps chasing. But as they run, they realize something with horror. NOG Uh-oh. PRYNN Dead end. They keep running as far as they can. But the end of the corridor is approaching. Finally, that’s it. They can’t go any further. They stop, and look back. The flurble is at the other end of the corridor, waiting, enjoying. It knows they’re trapped. Shar is breathing hard, holding his head in one hand and his stomach in the other. Prynn prepares to stand her ground. Nog is terrified of the rabid animal. NOG Can we fight it? SHAR Nog... I don’t feel... NOG We’re completely frinxed. PRYNN We’re not just frinxed. (beat) We’re flamped. The flurble launches off and charges straight for them. SHAR begins to retch, his stomach revolting... FLURBLE pounds down the corridor towards them... PRYNN AND NOG tense, scared but preparing to fight... FLURBLE is nearly on top of them... SHAR unable to control his stomach any more... and he lurches forwards and VOMITS hard. Streams of foul green material pour out of him, landing with a SPLAT and a HISS on the ground. Noxious green gas billows off the piles of vomit... ...and the running flurble screeches to a halt, barely inches away from the pile, its rear legs catching up to its front legs. It instantly turns and pelts down the corridor the other way, mewling and squeaking pathetically. FLURBLE Meep! Meep! Meep! The flurble runs and runs until it disappears back around the corner, its horrified squeal audible as it retreats. Prynn and Nog are amazed and thrilled to have been saved. NOG Shar! You saved us! With vomit! Yay! Until the smell hits them too. Oh, that’s bad. 54 INT. HOTEL – BASEMENT Jake KICKS and KICKS at the door... ...until the chain finally SNAPS and the doors swing open. And inside, there it is – the runabout. Powered up and lights twinkling. A gorgeous technological marvel. The most beautiful sight in the galaxy right now. JAKE Yes! RENA Oh, thank the Prophets. BONK Jake and Rena both stop, stunned, and collapse forwards to the ground. Revealing behind them... ...Lebikow, holding a metal pipe in each hand, having just knocked them both on the heads. As he glowers down at their unconscious bodies... BLACK OUT: END OF ACT FOUR .
. ACT FIVE FADE IN: 55 INT. HOTEL – BASEMENT Jake and Rena jerk awake, finding themselves sat together on the ground, back to back, four wrists tied with rope between them. The runabout is next to them. Lebikow is looming over them. He seems oddly nervous. LEBIKOW You damn meddlin’ kids had to mess me about, di’nt yer? All I was trynna do was make a bit o’ money... Jake and Rena struggle against the ropes... JAKE By stealing our ship? LEBIKOW What yer on about? RENA This is our ship, you idiot! LEBIKOW I don’t know whose ship it is. It just looked like a good’n. JAKE So you didn’t even know whose ship you’d stolen? And you were going to kill us anyway? LEBIKOW (shocked) What? No! I ain’t gonna kill no-one! I just wanted to sell t’ship, awright? And I would’a got away wi’ it, too, if you damn kids hadn’t insisted on messin’ me about. RENA I heard you say you were going to “get rid of us.” LEBIKOW (amazed) Yeah, by kicking you out o’ hotel. I don’t kill people! JAKE Oh. Well. Okay then. LEBIKOW But I can’t let you go either. At least not until me fence gets here. If I don’t sell this ship, I’ll lose th’hotel. And me baby won’t have a home. RENA Your baby? LEBIKOW Yeah. The flurble, or wh’ever you call ‘im. He’s my baby. Lebikow sniffles with sentiment over his pet. Rena and Jake would almost be touched... if they weren’t tied up. CRASH The large double doors at the far end of the basement burst open and half a dozen Wadi POLICE rush in, weapons drawn. Leading the way is none other than Munad himself. Lebikow squeaks in shock and drops the metal pipes, his hands flying up. Munad strolls smugly up to him. MUNAD Farns Lebikow. By the authority of the Wadi Inspectorate, I, Sherbic Munad, hereby place you under arrest, on charges of theft, handling of stolen goods, and colluding with known criminal elements. You have the right to argue in your own defence, and if you choose not to do so, it may be taken as an admission of guilt. (to officers, re Jake & Rena) Untie them. The officers move to do so... CRASH The first set of doors burst open, and Nog, Prynn and Shar rush in. Jake and Rena are untied and standing now. NOG Get away from them, “Inspector.” We know you were in on this whole plot from the start. LEBIKOW What? No he weren’t. PRYNN (confused) He wasn’t? LEBIKOW No! Of course not. He’s the Inspector, in’t he? You kids have some strange ideas. RENA But if you’re not part of the plan, then why did you send us to this hotel? MUNAD As my spies. 55 EXT. WADI HOMEWORLD SURFACE – LATE NIGHT The massive car park of the casino complex. Lebikow creeps between the parked shuttles, hiding in their shadows, trying to decide which one to steal. When he gets to the Rio Grande, he likes what he sees. He pulls out a device, furtively holds it up to the hatch. After a while of bleeps and flashing lights, the hatch disengages and begins to slide open. Over the above: MUNAD (v.o.) I knew Lebikow was in debt to the casino. I am the Chief of Police there. I also knew he had friends in the criminal underground. Eventually, the two were bound to connect. And then I got my chance. 56 INT. WADI POLICE STATION Our gang’s first meeting with Munad. As the scene plays MOS underneath: MUNAD (v.o.) You told me you were from the Federation. I’ve heard of Starfleet. I needed a plant inside the hotel, and I knew that the best way to get you to investigate for me was to tell you exactly not to do it. And it worked. 57 INT. HOTEL – FOYER Prynn and Rena overhear Lebikow on the comm... MUNAD (v.o.) You told me Lebikow had been chasing up his contacts, eager to sell the ship. That meant the rendezvous was soon. And he would lead us right to them. 58 INT. HOTEL – BASEMENT Where Munad is explaining the whole plot. Jake realizes... JAKE Lebikow’s not the one you want. He’s just a middle man. It’s the gang you’re really after. MUNAD Correct. And now we’ve got them. Their ship entered orbit half an hour ago. Take him away, boys. RENA Hold on. There’s something I want to say to him first. LEBIKOW What’s that, darlin’? Rena steps towards him, looks him in the face... and then KICKS him square in the unmentionables. He crumples over, gasping and groaning. Our gang look at Rena in amazement. RENA I hope I made myself clear. Jake beams at her, completely in love. The Wadi police drag the groaning Lebikow away in handcuffs. MUNAD I should thank you for your help. Your tenacity was very useful in my investigation. PRYNN Whatever. The important thing is we’ve got the ship back. They move towards the ship... Munad blocks their way. MUNAD Not so fast. This ship is a key piece of evidence in a criminal case. I can’t let you just fly it out of here. RENA What is the matter with you?! It’s our ship! MUNAD You need some anger management classes, young lady. RENA I don’t need anger management classes. You need shut-the- hell-up classes. NOG Hold on, you guys. I think I know what’s going on here. He wants us to negotiate. MUNAD (smug smile) I said you were smart kids. They all turn to look at Nog. He grits his teeth. 59 INT. RUNABOUT – COCKPIT Shar and Prynn are in the cockpit of the ship, putting everything straight. There’s kind of an awkward tension between them. Prynn isn’t sure what to say... PRYNN Shar... if you want to talk about things... now that the crisis is over... SHAR What you said the other day, at the subspace relay... Do you really believe people can come back from the dead? Prynn stops, realising this is a delicate subject. PRYNN Do you want me to be honest? Or comforting? SHAR I would prefer honesty. Even if it is not easy for me. She approaches him at the rear of the cabin, but keeps a polite distance for now. PRYNN Honestly, Shar... no I don’t. Oh, I know, Starfleet reports are full of tales of people supposedly coming back from the beyond after all hope had been lost. Ambassador Spock, Captain Scott, even Captain Sisko. But in every one of those cases, there was some fantastical scientific loophole for the dead person to escape through. Regenerating radiation, trans- porter tricks, wormhole aliens. They were never really dead. She takes a gentle step closer. He’s very aware of her. He doesn’t look at her... can’t quite handle it yet. PRYNN (cont) But if a person has really, truly died, no ifs, ands or buts... then no. I don’t believe they’ll ever come back. I’m sorry. He finally looks up at her. Prynn takes a step closer. PRYNN That’s part of why I live my life the way I do. If you don’t grab an opportunity when it’s given to you, you may not get a second shot. Shar takes a hesitant step. They are now close, in each other’s personal space. Shar is quietly emotional, not sure whether to go through with this. Prynn wants to comfort him, take care of him. SHAR Then... you believe in taking chances? PRYNN I do. Finally they are close enough – they both slowly lean closer... and they kiss. Gently and tentatively at first, getting gradually more intense. Then Shar pulls back suddenly with a worried look. SHAR Urp. He puts his hand to his mouth, his eyes flare, and he dashes off screen towards the rear cabin. Prynn sighs. 60 EXT. WADI STREETS – EARLY EVENING Nog, Jake and Rena walk along the street. They all have their combadges back on, and Nog is griping from having to give up his money. JAKE Nog, look at it like this. You came with no money, and you left with no money. You broke even. That’s fine. NOG (harrumph) Only a hew-mon would call giving away all your profit “fine.” RENA Well, I certainly appreciate it, Nog. With the ship back, we can finally head home and I can never leave again. JAKE (worried) Was it really that bad? RENA Oh, I’m only kidding. Mostly. I did ask for an adventure, and I guess I got one. The sound of a POLICE SIREN breaks out, echoing somewhere in the distance. They hear it and raise their eyebrows... JAKE Sounds like Inspector Munad is on the trail of another dastardly evil-doer. NOG Yeah, with a pocket full of my money. The sound of shouting, hurried VOICES somewhere nearby... Rena frowns. Maybe it’s bigger than they thought. RENA Maybe it’s this criminal gang he was talking about. Do you think it’s safe? NOG It’s none of our business, like Munad said. Let’s just get back to the ship and head home. They turn a corner into another adjoining street... And see three figures running towards them, fast. They’re being chased by something or someone, we don’t see what. The three strangers almost run right into our heroes. And as they screech to a halt, the leader gapes in surprise... DEZ Jake? Jake stops in surprise... JAKE Dez? And it is – it’s DEZ, the captain of the Even Odds. With him are his scantily clad Wadi first officer FACITY, and a human-looking teenage girl of about 14, named MEERA (who we haven’t seen before). Dez is so surprised to see Jake that he pretty much forgets why they were running. DEZ Jake, what are you doing here? But before Jake can answer, more figures arrive – the ones chasing after Dez. Wadi police, half a dozen of them, led by none other than Munad. They surround Dez’s group and Jake’s group alike, all armed and ready to use it. The Inspector has his gun out, pointing it right at Dez. MUNAD Zin Dezovrim, Facity Sleedow... You’re under arrest. Dez and Facity grit their teeth – caught. Ending on Jake, Nog and Rena’s shocked faces... BLACK OUT: END OF SHOW .
Zoiks! It's finally back. Huh, what a complete tonal shift from the previous episodes, but I guess we were due for something light. I have to admit I've never really been a fan of Scooby Doo (I know, I know- everyone flame me) so the homages to that series aren't a huge deal for me. But what is interesting is that once again character interactions are spot on, and unlike many serialized fan fiction stories- this continues having the pattern of each episode having a beginning, middle, and end. They can all function as standalone episodes just like the TV series, but woven through them are continuing and developing plotlines. I always liked Shar, and though I know that sometime before 'Paths of Disharmony' that his relationship with Prynn will end; I'm very curious to see how it develops. Also I appreciate he fact that no matter how lovable the Even Odds crew is, they still are criminals (the good kind, I suppose) and at a certain, it really is time to pay the piper. Be curious to see how they eek their way out of this mess. Always liked that bunch. One last thing...you forgot the best part of the homage. The inn keeper should have had his face ripped off and shown that it was mask- and maybe to have a twist on it, for the mask to cover up that he really is a ghost or some twisted monster. In any case. Another enjoyable episode, and I look forward to the next.
I never really followed "Scooby Doo", but I instantly recognized the similarities once I realized it. For some the reason, the first clue was the utterance of "Ruh-oh". The gothic inn should have also been a clue. I love how someone says that nothing could possibly go wrong before everything does go wrong. And it's about time, they see the Rio Grande as their "lucky runabout".
I started planning this project almost two years ago, so yeah, it's been quite an investment. I started doing the adaptations of the existing DS9-R books more than five years ago. And I'm not done yet, obviously. It occurred to me a while ago that - even though DS9 was known for having the most comedy episodes of all the series - there hadn't been a single comedy "episode" in the entire DS9-R (covering Avatar to The Soul Key). That's two whole "seasons of TV" without a single comedy episode. The nearest things we've got are the gentle romantic storylines - Quark and Ro in Twilight by DRG3 (which I adapted as 8x16 "Baby Steps"), and Jake and Rena in Fragments and Omens by J Noah Kym (which I adapted as 9x03 "Waiting for the Mist to Clear"). But neither of those were comedy - just light. Everything else has been drama-horror-scifi-action. So I thought it was high time we had a flat-out comedy episode. I'd also always been intrigued by the idea that we now have what I described as a "DS9 Junior Heroes" group in the cast - the teenagers, almost, as opposed to the grown-ups like Sisko, Kira and Vaughn. And I wanted to do something with that. Nog had mentioned the concept in passing to Prynn in the Gamma story of Lesser Evil by Robert Simpson (which I adapted as 8x22 "Greater Good") in the sense of "isn't it interesting how we're all the children of important people." But nothing was really done with it. So I wanted to really play with the idea, and see what the kids could get up to when the grown-ups weren't around. And that's when the concept of turning the Rio Grande into the Mystery Machine jumped out at me. Well thank you again, and I did put a fair bit of effort into constructing the season exactly as you describe. I don't think any of the DS9 characters match up exactly to the Scooby-Doo characters, but it's close enough to get a chuckle out of it. I actually really enjoyed writing this - there were quite a few comedy lines I came up with that I ended up not using. I may find a place for them later... One of the reasons I decided to bring Shar back to the station - even though Paths of Disharmony had established that he never returned - was precisely so that I could have him available for this story. I thought there was more to play with the Prynn situation, and Shar has always been so dour and emo that we never really saw the comic potential in him. Who better to get completely trashed off his face than the emotionally withdrawn and serious teenage nerd character? Plus, I just love the gag of putting balls of tinsel on his antenna so that they look like beeny-boppers. I still giggle at that even now. There's definitely more to come from those lovable scamps. Oh, I tried! I tried to work out a way to work that in, but I just couldn't seem to make it fit. Being chased up and down corridors by a monster will have to do I think I've even figured out a reason WHY the Rio Grande is always their lucky runabout. .